Anyone else read the shit luke did with lauren yet?. Very fucking funny. Heres some of my favorites

Lauren says that in the past five months she's helped about five girls go clean from drugs. The Mother Theresa of porn.


(what do porn chicks hate more then a check that bounces?, a fellow porn chick preacher)

"I was like, holy crap. I did that so bad, the motherf----- [who was her boyfriend then] didn't want to f--- me ever again after that. And I tried, to my dismay, I was turned down. I scared him off. He went out with my best friend. I was pretty crushed.

"He wouldn't even let me blow him. I was like, dude, I need practice. I knew what was up but he wasn't willing to comply.


This is why everyone hates Canada. Seriously, who turns down sex from a fresh lauren pheonix?. Begging to blow the guy.

Duke: "When you were a kid, what did you want to do with your life?"

Lauren: "I wanted to be a marine biologist, opera singer, teacher, Peace Corp, travel."


You can always count of at least 4 things that are completely different from each other and then finding a way to settle on the only industry that couldn't be further then any of the original career choices. I love porn.

Duke: "What are your ambitions?"

Lauren: "To direct porn. To help people."


Isn't that a contradiction?. Its like saying , a terrorist and a humanitarian on weekends.

Duke: "Does your boyfriend like that you are a porn star?"

Lauren: "Of course not. He doesn't like it. That's why I'm trying to do other things."


I thought she dated a black guy?. I guess thats not the case anymore.

Phoenix won Female Performer of the Year at the AVN Awards in January 2005. "It's not something I would cry about or tell my parents about or thank them or God. I ask God's forgiveness every day."

LOL. I would love to have a look into lauren's schedule


9 AM: DP scene, 2 facial pops

10AM: Breakfast

12 noon: pray to god asking for forgiveness

1.30: G/G scene, toys and bats with meliss

2PM: sobbing and praying to god on the way home

5PM: Private scene with boyfriend, i refuse to call it normal sex, oh god why

Actually Monkey I think her bf is a black guy. A very average looking, overweight one. You guys have got to get over to my gym Anyways she was dressed in some ghetto gear, you know the black basketball jersey/cutoff. What I noticed is how everyone says shes like 6'0" tall, thats all bullshit. Shes like 5'7", and her legs looked thick. Regardless...what was with her ex that wouldnt let her blow him? Shits a no brainer. This was before she was used more than Rogaine on Brandon Irons head. The logic is quite simple, you take the free bj. I love how Luke always asks what did you want to be when you grow up? Whats even funnier is how these stupid biches always say something different. I dont think anyone has ever said the same answer before. This bitch wanted to be a Marine Biologist? Is that a euphemism for being a dyke and studying fish? Aww fuck it, its late and I was finally unbanned today. I should get some sleep.

I wish her photoshopped pic was still in the flashing banner ad on this site. It would make a hell of a contrast to the picture monkey posted.

Fuck, now I got the theme music from the 70s TV show "The Waltons" playing in my head after seeing this pic, she looks like one of the daughters on that show. I need to watch more porn...I really really do....

Shit I had the wrong girl. Damned porn girls and their names.

"Oh Fuck Yeah! I love Dicks! I Love Cum! Yes!!"



Please God Forgive me for sucking those 3 dicks today and swallowing all that cum. I am sorry father.



"OOHHH FUCK YEAH! FUCK THAT FEELS SO GOOD! Yess...oooh slide it in there ....yeahhhhhh!"



<sobbing> "I am sorry God...I really am. I dont know what came over me....please on the basis of Jesus' Blood forgive me....pleassssee." <sobbing continues>



"MMmmm I love cum. I fucking love it so much...I cant get enough....and I get paid to do this yeahhhh!!"




<Sobbing frantically> "Oh my God forgive me!!! Why did I do that?? I am soo sorry god, please father don't punish me...don't let me perish in the fires of Sodom and Gomorrah....oh why do I do these things???!!"

Confession of Lauren Phoenix - Father Stone style.

1.Dress up like a whore and take two cocks at the same time, but one in the ass and one in the mouth to begin, The path to re-enlightenment is a difficult one so I'm sure you understand.


2. Whilst getting pounded in the ass by some random strange fucker, scream out loud your love of God, and have the look on your face that you really want salvation.


3.This is not Holy Communion you slut.


4. Nothing says "I'm asking forgiveness" like this picture, especially the licking of her whore boots.


5. On your knees and beg for spirital guidence, be a good little slut and I may grant you absolution.

Actually, it sounds like she is more spiritual then religious. She says that she sort of a Buddhist if I'm not mistaken. I will give her credit in that she doesn't look older than she is. She had better start watching her diet though because I'm starting to see cellulose on those legs and ass of hers. She may have to start doing Rodney Moore fat chick flicks if she's not careful.

This thread is great, she is going out with a fat black guy, not even lex steel can question her now. Fuck i hate lex.

]

For you Lauren:sucer le jus d'un Pope.
Oh I'm sorry he's not African

That picture is disturbing, none of the dicks are actually in or close to laurens mouth, its just a 3 way dick link with a horny canadian begging for it, i can see in her eyes she is having flash backs to the neglect of her first boyfriend. Notice the white dick is left out in the corner. Its a black dick party and no whiteys or women are invited,

Why is this the cage's most viewed thread?. Where else is this posted thats drawing so many hits?.

I'll give you bitches and update.

She's still going out with some average overweight black guy. It also looks like shes gained a substantial amount of weight the past few months. Bitch has got some cankles. Shes looking a lot thicker in the legs. If she ever wrapped those legs around you, youd need the jaws of life to get those suckers off.

It's also really great to see all of these young buck trainers come up to her when her man isnt around, and start hitting on her. I'm willing to bet my entire checking account of $64.75 that they have no idea this bitch has taken more dicks than Robert Blake did in prison.

I think this is a better match for this ugly bitch

This was a great thread. Thanks for bringing it back to life

I think she looks more like Jennifer Garner...

Looking at this site, it's hard to tell the difference

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/celeb.html


This could also go in the faces of meth thread, nice hair junkie.

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