I always thought Charlize Theron, was hott, now I am totally enraptured. This is brilliant!

holy shit! i smoked out of dining-hall apples we'd do the 90-degree holes with a bic pen all through high school, that's the last thing you'd expect to see a movie star doing. you didn't want to keep a bong or bubbler in your room since you couldn't hide it and i lose shit constantly, especially things the size of pipes so i've never owned one. that's awesome, but a bittersweet reminder of days when my friend slipped off a third-story roof at 3am in january and things were just more fun. what the fuck happened to me? i'm in a suit eating lunch at my desk using the laptop i bring from home to feel anger towards a man named "wankus" on a porn forum.

speaking of how adulthood fucking sucks, during my haitus i'm in manhattan in the back of a car with a guy who was in the wsj twice and published in the harvard bidness review in the last 2 months and will realistically move on to be the ceo of dell, amex or ebay since his job is where they find that kind of people. i should be painfully-deliberate about every word i say to him, but we're stuck behind a garbage truck on a cross street. somehow, in my xpt-warped sense of appropriateness i just blurt out, "have you ever seen a japanese garbageman? i think it must be very dishonorable and shameful in their culture, i bet they enslave koreans to do it"

i realize what i've just done in horror and curse the name kyoto for ruining my future.

the dude just starts laughing hysterically and can't get over the fact a full-blooded japanese garbageman is the unicorn of the waste-management industry. he then tells me it's the funniest thing he's heard in a week. i've yet to fully come to terms with the whole thing-that life isn't that funny; that my sense of humor may never mature despite the expectation that i'm a serious person; and most importantly that i've NEVER fucking seen a japanese trashman.

I remember the retarded days when we used to smoke out of aluminum cans. What a nice feeling to get shards of metal lodged in your lungs

I appreciate your humor there James, don't lose it. What makes you think that the heads of industry are really all that mature or serious behind closed doors? They're not, their foibles will bubble to the surface eventually and everyone will whisper of it at the country club. I'd say just by having a good heart and staying on the right side of the law will keep a person in the moral black, but what do I know?

Nothing beats rolling papers fellas




Don't ask me why this guy is wearing a hat made out of his own house plants.