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#106500 - 06/13/05 12:58 PM
Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 951
Loc: IL
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Post of the century:
'After six months of posting here, I finally told Jeff how I felt about XPT....it is the only Porn Board I frequent. (I made 3 posts at ADT back in December, was admonished for being "disruptive", and then discovered XPT.) I do not post/visit XPT because I love porn....I enjoy pornography, but this place just has an edgy, live fast/die faster "fuck you you're stupid" atmosphere that I find mildly exhilirating and therapeutic. This place has the right balance and perspective on where pornography fits in the scheme of things, doesn't take itself too seriously, and is as down to earth as one can get on the subject of porn, and related issues at hand....<END SINCERE, SOCIALLY RESPONSIBLE HEARTFELT COMMENTS>
I have basically reached a point in my life where few things actually hold my interest....for some reason XPT is like one of those buzzing blue bug lights, and I am a fucking moth....This place has it all: Anger, Social Commentary, Whores, Psychopaths, Pathetic Fan Boy Wannabe Psychopaths (Kyoto), more Whores, Tales Of Drug Addicted Whores, Bi-polar Whores, Smelly Monkey(s), Still More Whores, and the occasional transvestite we can all beat with a fucking baseball bat'
he's making t-shirts that say 'I'm a mod at XXXpt' as I write this.
he also walks up to random strangers on the street and says he's a mod at XXXpt. then jumps around like Tom Cruise on Oprah's couch.
Da Burglar announces XXXpt modship on Oprah's show:
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#106501 - 06/13/05 01:10 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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I's hard to believe we've waited all this time for your return and when you do... you go after the crippled guy. I didn't want to believe it but now I see everything the Monkey said about you is true.
Another one bites the dust.
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#106502 - 06/13/05 01:19 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 951
Loc: IL
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Quote:
I's hard to believe we've waited all this time for your return and when you do... you go after the crippled guy. I didn't want to believe it but now I see everything the Monkey said about you is true.
Another one bites the dust.
he's crippled?! even better! I'll push him down a flight of stairs!
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#106503 - 06/13/05 01:29 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 951
Loc: IL
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here's da burglar with Brianna Banks:  hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
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#106507 - 06/13/05 04:23 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 04/06/05
Posts: 959
Loc: The Outer Labia of Jenna Haze
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Did i miss something but is the reason Kyoto is fixated on cats because thats the only kind of pussy that doesnt reject him?
_________________________
jrv im going to fucking kill you and 3 of your family members-SM
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#106508 - 06/13/05 04:25 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 951
Loc: IL
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if you're a lawyer, Cleetus is Vlad Dracula.
If you were a lawyer wouldn't you be working on cases instead of posting on an xxx message board?
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#106509 - 06/13/05 04:30 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Human Garbage
Registered: 02/12/04
Posts: 1683
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Nice attempt at redirection, baby. You might notice I don't post for weeks at a time, which is when I'm working. Right now, though, I'm pleased to have nothing better to do than post this gem from Kyoto, pre-disgruntled fanboy stage: Quote:
I was at the 2004 AEE and met a lot of the girls. I had a decent time but I got the feeling that many of the girls didn't want to be there. I could understand if it was the last day of the expo and they were tired but I got major attitude from girls just 20 minutes into the first day.
I politely asked a star from one of the major companies for a photo and she sighed loudly and muttered "whatever" in a snobby manner. I encountered situations like this at least 10 times.
Of course I had really positive experiences from girls who were genuinely happy to meet the fans.
I would like to hear comments from the talent who post here. What are your feelings towards signings and meeting fans?
_________________________
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#106510 - 06/13/05 04:33 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 951
Loc: IL
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pm me the place where you work and I'll verify it. until then you are a bullshit artist who reads a lot of law books.
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#106512 - 06/13/05 04:46 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 951
Loc: IL
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ahh, I caught you! you're avoiding the lawyer question.
for a response you'll probably post something I said a year ago. for a lawyer you're not very clever.
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#106513 - 06/13/05 04:55 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Human Garbage
Registered: 02/12/04
Posts: 1683
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Well, I gotta run, so here's the rest of it. It would have been beautiful to parcel it out but I trust you'll spam the shit out of the forum while I'm gone with a Smarttesque picture, mkay? Don't let me down. [Tip of the hat to Random for digging these out.] ADT post: Quote:
"devinn, did it hurt getting your clit pierced?"
"WOW, Lex flaked on devinn? I'm shocked. I signed up to devinn's site and have been watching her clips. She's one of hottest performers I've ever seen . I wonder what Lex will say about this?"
"hotter than your Lovestruck scene with Dale Dabone? that scene is insane! especially when you're on top fucking the shit out of Dale's cock OMG
OMG! OMG! If the words "Dale's cock OMG" ever come out of my mouth, permission to flail my knuckles in a carborator is granted.
ADT Post #2:
Quote:
"devinn and Mason being naughty together?! oh la la I may need to videotape that...for the good of the nation of course"
Oh la la, Kyoto!
ADT Post #3:
Quote:
"yeah, I saw devinn on Tuesday. Her hair was in pigtails and she wore school girls's outfit. she was nice. I might go again tonight."
"just got back from seeing devinn dance. she was amazing! she wore roller skates and moved really good. thank you devinn for everything"
How far did this approach get you, Kyoto, and why did you change? I mean, hey, bono-one may have bukkake'd pornstar lips to kiss but at least they're pornstar lips. Kyoto has the angry pencil, the sticky keys and the skittish twitching of his right-wrist from hours of self-abuse causing nerve damage.
Now I have to get back to my reading of law books to continue to impress the plebs. Like all of 'em know, only the big headed people wind up lawyerin'.
_________________________
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#106514 - 06/13/05 04:59 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 951
Loc: IL
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wow, hyperlinking my old posts...he did exactly what I predicted and now the faggot ran away. had to go call a 'client'
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#106515 - 06/13/05 05:07 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 951
Loc: IL
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Quote:
Did i miss something but is the reason Kyoto is fixated on cats because thats the only kind of pussy that doesnt reject him?
oh, people haven't used that joke before 
coochie monster must be Chris Rock.
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#106516 - 06/13/05 06:18 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Son of a bitch!!! Where the fuck did you get that picture, you fucking hairball factory? God I hate that pic...my tie didn't go with my red fire engine colored wheelchair...  Glorious!! Yes!!!!!!! Holy shit!! . . . Seriously, most felonious felines, upon being released from prison, go fuck someone...Kyoto simply fucks himself. <Da Burglar takes the (very) HIGH ground> I've picked on and insulted Kyoto quite a bit, he is wounded and hurt (still a vapid fanboy deserving of death) but wounded and hurt nonetheless... I offer to relinquish my modship of the SHITLIST, and I suggest we make Kyoto a MOD of the newly revamped shitlist, XPT's "The LITTER BOX" - Moderator: KYOTO. Don't give him any power, just the title. I relinquish my real powers to smelly monkey to hold in trust until Kyoto implodes basking in his new title while dreaming: "NOW Jenna HAS to say Hello to me...I am a MOD of XPT!"  Kyoto must not be banned again, barring any more terrorizing acts of feline distemper spam....we need his retarded anarchy....I laughed so hard I think I came....
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#106517 - 06/13/05 06:52 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 951
Loc: IL
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ugh, get to the point a bunch of words and you say nothing.
it'd be great if you were a cripple. you trying to get on the toilet in those handicap bathrooms must be the funniest sight ever.
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#106518 - 06/13/05 07:39 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Quote:
it'd be great if you were a cripple. you trying to get on the toilet in those handicap bathrooms must be the funniest sight ever.
Even if it's forced and fake...he's back
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#106519 - 06/13/05 07:54 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 04/26/03
Posts: 441
Loc: WHYWHYWHYWHY?!!!!!!
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Quote:
Quote:
it'd be great if you were a cripple. you trying to get on the toilet in those handicap bathrooms must be the funniest sight ever.
Even if it's forced and fake...he's back
Absolutely correct. It doesn't matter.
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#106520 - 06/13/05 08:00 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Demon Spawn
Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 3178
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Quote:
he did exactly what I predicted and now the faggot ran away. had to go call a 'client'
Looks as if Arab has been had as well.
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#106522 - 06/13/05 09:48 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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I liken Kyoto to the bacteria that live in our aliementary canal. They are still bacteria, and under normal conditions, the help or harm they do depends on the surrounding conditions.
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#106523 - 06/14/05 12:19 AM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 04/06/05
Posts: 959
Loc: The Outer Labia of Jenna Haze
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Its fairly evident that Kyoto=Michael Jackson. The question is what does Kyoto and Skeeter Kerkove have in common. I say absolutely nothing.Skeeter molests little girls meanwhile Kyoto is stuck fingering little boys with his Kermit the frog muppets talking about how his IQ is as high as Stephen Hawkings. Stephen Hawking from his voice automated wheelchair could have spit more game to girls than Kyoto, and probably taken his pet cats while also slapping him in the face with his feeding tube.
_________________________
jrv im going to fucking kill you and 3 of your family members-SM
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#106527 - 06/14/05 10:39 AM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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ADT regular
Registered: 06/10/05
Posts: 17
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Quote:
I liken Kyoto to the bacteria that live in our aliementary canal. They are still bacteria, and under normal conditions, the help or harm they do depends on the surrounding conditions.
I hope the CatBoy offs your sorry, drunken gimp ass 
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#106532 - 06/17/05 07:13 AM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 3899
Loc: CO Springs
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#106533 - 04/09/06 05:13 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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i miss kyoto.
btw, wish me luck bitches, i'm out for the next week starting tommorow pm and going to come back nice, mature, married and caring for others. well, the penultimate's true, the rest isn't.
anyone who wants to come to fiji on short notice is welcome to join us, not sure if they have pancakes there.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#106534 - 04/09/06 05:17 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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Quote:
btw, wish me luck bitches, i'm out for the next week starting tommorow pm and going to come back nice, mature, married and caring for others.
Good luck, mofo, get ready for the rest of your life. 
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#106535 - 04/09/06 05:20 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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Jamesn, you two are perfect for each other and I wish you the best of luck.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#106536 - 04/09/06 05:27 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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both of you-thanks. i didn't want to ditch the cage in a time of turmoil without explanation. i'll be back.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#106537 - 04/09/06 05:29 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer
Registered: 12/09/05
Posts: 1291
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good luck bro, i'm trying to picture the type of girl you'd get married to but i'm failing dismally. i'm sure she'd be cool though...
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#106539 - 04/09/06 05:38 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer
Registered: 12/09/05
Posts: 1291
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in my experience, the fijians are friendly and extremely hospititable, but that friendliness runs out when fat crosseyed women begin to eat their children. all i'm saying is, keep lisa at the buffet table and away from the orphanage.
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#106540 - 04/09/06 05:39 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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I've seen pics of jamesn's real girl and she's gorgeous!
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#106541 - 04/09/06 05:42 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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way too kind, she's like a little elfpixie that can't drive, but she's definetly posted here as me a few times.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#106543 - 04/09/06 06:03 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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i'm not smart enough not be infallible with chunkier chicks, but smart enough to learn they call you the next day after 21 and you need friends loyal enough to stop you from ruining your life hogging when you're shitfaced and curly-fries and some bacon would be just as much fun to go home with and what you really wanted in the first place.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#106544 - 04/09/06 06:14 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Good luck, James
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#106545 - 04/09/06 06:16 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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thanks dude.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#106547 - 04/09/06 07:05 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Good luck James. As I am sure you knew, those last minute international flights are a no-can-do. Otherwise man, I'da been there representing your friends from xxxporntalk.com
What's this board turmoil to which you refer?
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#106548 - 04/09/06 07:06 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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thanks zen!
pick your goddamn phone up confederate.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#106549 - 04/09/06 07:21 PM
Re: Da Burglar begs Jeff for modship!
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 05/05/04
Posts: 446
Loc: Los Angeles
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Best of luck! HMS Bounty? Bread Fruit sir?
_________________________
Pariah
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