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i know it's hard to believe, but i was once pretty cool, in a highschool and college sense. now i have to be considerate, wear ties and enthusiastically use buzzwords and i'm having some problems staring another 40-years of this in the face.

so when i was applying to college, i needed something to prove i was doing something other than pretty much doing drugs and acting like a complete savage outside of playing sports and getting decent grades. i took latin, hated declining shit and putting a series of "-"'s and "U"'s over sentences, but it was okay once it became about slaying the aeduii or whoever. anyhow, when the elections for the title of "latin club president" came around junior year i decided to say fuck it, and see if i could pad some applications. somehow my peers elected me and my reign began.

it lasted less than the full-term. i was formally asked to step down in shame. basically, i had managed to run it into the ground mainly through sheer neglect but also through corruption. i had like a hundred dollars as a budget that had to go through my teacher directly so i couldn't directly-pilfer it and i needed to have a meeting at some point. so i figured the guy had an endless collection of lousy spartacus-type movies with no educational value and i could appease him slightly by taking some weeknight and watching one. this is at boarding school, so dinner sucked and everyone was around. so i reserved a room and got the guy to order some pizzas and give me the tape. somehow, i decided it would be better to feed my friends who didn't take latin pizza, but the teacher wasn't supposed to be involved in the meeting so i thought it was safe.

obviously, he shows up and finds a bunch of kids pretending not to be shitfaced, almost none of them take latin and natural born killers is playing instead of ben-hur. he was too ethereal and clueless to bag us for being fucked-up, but was crushed and livid at the same time and hated me for the remainder of my time there.

i'll forever be the richard nixon of that place's student-run organizations.

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Caligula would have been both a better movie, and a better analogy than Nixon.....

James makes me feel young again 3 minutes at a time with stories like this that take me back....who the fuck would have thought I would find such momentary bliss on a Porn Board run by the equivalent of "rebellious outcasts" of the Porn Industry. XPT is my Nirvana right now.....