It's been a while since anyone vented their spleen (or other organ if you're Chris Sims), and quite frankly the porn business has been depressingly boring. But leave it to the fringes of society to always produce shit worthy of scorn and contempt.

Tawny Roberts (Mary Carey honorable mention). This crackwhore still has a Vivid contract? Mary Carey almost made this list, but I will forbear since she may actually be clean since her Mom took a swan dive. I am beginning to suspect Tawny is the shitty element in this pair. Mary has a little bank and needs friends; Tawny has no bank, needs drugs but not friends. Or put it like one of those SAT analogies... Mary Carey:Tawny Roberts::Sandra Bernhard:Madonna. And who in the hell can rationalize drinking beer like a fish while pregnant? Because we all know the active ingredients in gin (C2-H6-O) is much worse than the active ingredients in beer and wine (alcohol).

Porn plastic surgery. A secret memo is being passed among the whores which apparently lists the appropriate plastic surgery for their industry. It includes
-tit jobs which stretch your skin to the breaking point. If your tits are bigger than your cranium, you have no future. Well, not true, they might get you $.50 more per hour in your hostess job at sizzler.
-chin chiseling
-Mr. Spock eyebrows
-Oscar Meyer® brand upper lip implants. The most unnatural look out there. And a dead giveaway.
-ass implants. Folks, you either have an ass, or you set aside some of your Xanax money each month and buy a health club membership, and his the ass machine. If you have to wait in line, do it, you don't get up until 11:00 anyway.

Danni.com. Back in the day, the HotBox was actually a decent website. Good looking whores, a little raunchy. Apparently a decent place to make pseudo smut. Then came all the content "protected" by DRM (code talk for greed), then she sells out, then we come to find out that half the time, it wasn't a female run business as presented. Making a whore the titular head of a porn producer seems to be a losing proposition, Jill Kelly, Suicidal Girls.

Blaise Christie. Even that name nauseates me. In an alt.sea of shitty alt.porn, he is emerging as the alt.whipping-boy to replace Eor McGai. That's quite an accomplishment. I wonder if Steve Hirsch knows that his "alt.porn" target market are the ones downloading Kazaa, BearShare and LimeWire, and stealing the rest of his catalog.

Bono-one winning a porn contest. Either it was a fix was on or he was the only one who entered. I know she used to be a prostitute, but did "Bono the Po8" think he was finally going to get laid?

Tawny does not still have a Vivid contract. She and her ex lawyer boyfriend were trying to form a production company last year and that didn't work out. Tawny was actually sending bulletins out on MySpace trying to recruit girls to work for her production company. She said they were going to produce movies and cellphone content.

Anyway, she's not with the lawyer anymore and got knocked up by this rich guy from NY. When Mary Carey was on KSEX the other week, she somewhat hinted that Tawny's NY boyfriend was someone Tawny met in a hooker / john situation.

Isn't that how most of the whores wind up engaged in an honest-to-goodness relationship? Seek out the highest bidder, marry him, suck him dry (not his balls, either), then lose him when he's all "shot out" financially?

Almost too resemblant of their porn careers if you ask me.

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When Mary Carey was on KSEX the other week, she somewhat hinted that Tawny's NY boyfriend was someone Tawny met in a hooker / john situation.

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