Anal Management
Directed by David Luger
Redlight

I fully admit to having a serious Latina fetish- and lord knows, I’m just as preoccupied with all things anal, so I figured this one was a can’t-miss, since it was shot in Brazil, and hell, it’s called Anal Management. But as anyone who has ever attempted chasing fried chicken down with Jack Daniels will tell you, sometimes both-at-once doesn’t exactly gel.

The theory is sound- chicks babbling away in foreign tongues while they offer up their tanned asses to the gringos for pocket change- but the problem here is that the first few girls just aren’t up to Redlight’s usual standards. I mean, they’d be perfect for a snuff film, maybe, but hard-on inducement? Nenhuma maneira, irmão.

But hell, maybe you like ugly girls. If so, here’s the smorgasbord that awaits you. Suzana has a nice pair of fake tits (good), a bad blonde dye job (bad), freckles (good), and a mug that suggests a botched harelip operation as a toddler (Yikes!). She gets DP’s and glazed, and her signature sex noise is “Ow!” Ow?

Monique and Morlana are two rail-thin ghetto chicks who are just too gruesome for me to contemplate. Next. Covergirl Rachel is not included in my above rant. Ok, she’s got an overbite, but otherwise she is a lithe brunette beauty, and she takes her anal-izing like it’s saving the family farm. I haven’t seen flop sweat pouring off a chick’s forehead like that since Crack Hos 17. A hot scene, for sure. I hope the Redlight boys smuggled her over the border when they headed home. Things continue to improve with Shayla, a full-bodied cutie with a cleft chin who can even speak about 5 words of English. She dodges the cum spray at scene’s end (and ends up with an eyeful for her effort), but otherwise, a decent double-dicking. Things take a downward slide with another barrio bunny, Bruna, who’s acne and jagged teeth detract greatly from her meaty ass and bouncy tits. Man, there’s about 5 million superhot chicks in Brazil- sure, half of them are actually guys, but still- I just think if Redlight searched a little further for talent than the foyer of whatever motel that were staying at, this coulda been a much hotter DVD. Something tells me they’ll be back for another round soon, tho.

On the bright side, the ‘behind the scenes’ footage, featuring lots of naked English lessons, is pretty funny…but you weren’t looking for funny, were you?

-Sleazegrinder