Inescapable Desires ( Full Blown )
Directed by Bill Black
Starring Charlie, Anne Marie, Michelle Michaels, Amythiest

What possible good is technology, unless it makes for better porn? At the advent of the great DVD takeover, they (whoever ‘they’ are), promised us all manner of wild new options for home entertainment. And what did we get? Goddamn easter eggs. One of the biggest come-ons was ‘multi-angle’ viewing, where we could switch from one camera angle to another with all the speed and deftness of a Nascar TV crew. Well, that shit never happened, man. Until now, that is. I imagine other companies have attempted utilizing this dusty remote button before, but I haven’t seen ‘em, so fuck those guys. For my money, Full Blown Productions are the new cutting-edge Superbosses of hi-tech pornography.

I know, the classy title suggests otherwise, but “Inescapable Desires” is not a new fragrance from Calvin Klein, it is Full Blown’s epic new lesbian saga, starring the singularly named Charlie, and a gaggle of her Sapphic sisters. Charlie is a dizzying, raven haired vision of pure voluptuous pleasure, a sultry, smoky curve machine with an angelic face, who looks exactly like the mysterious top-shelf escort that brings about the spy guy’s downfall in virtually every espionage movie Hollywood has ever spewed up. In “Inescapable Desires”, she discovers some kind of magical glass dildo that glows and sparkles like something out of Raiders of the Lost Ark every time she takes it out of it’s velvet case. I have no idea what any of that means, and it’s really only an excuse to plug (ahem) Glass X, the company that makes ‘em, but suffice to say, she uses the magic wand a lot in this flick.

There’s three scenes here, each divided into several sub-sections. It gets complicated, but it’s one of the few times I can think of where I was actually happy to be hopelessly lost. The first scene has Charlie alone in a hotel room with the glass dildo, greedily stabbing it into every hole. You get three different angles to choose from, and you can even choose between “Saint” or “Sinner” mode. As I have never been a saint, I can’t tell you what happens over there, but in Sinnersville, Charlie has one hell of a time with her bewitching dicksicle. Later on, lithe Latina firecracker Anne Marie ( I think she’s supposed to be her assistant) shows up, and Charlie fucks her right there on the table. The they go home and meet up with Michelle Michaels and Amythiest Stone, who happen to have some of the most sci-fi looking sex toys I’ve ever seen- everything’s glowing and spinning, it’s like a triple X Ice Pirates- and they all fuck in a sweaty lesbo heap. Righteous.

Technically, Inescapable Desires looks great, almost film-like, thanks to the stellar lighting job and the Wicked-worthy sets. All the girls are gorgeous, as well. But the best part of all is the crazy multi-angle feature. For some reason or another, it reminded me of playing Spy Hunter at the arcade as a kid, zipping back and forth until I’m in just the right position. All the cameras in the room seem to disorient the girls, however, and in the 4-way scene, Charlie appears to be begging the camera crew for some direction. That’s really her problem, not ours, because as soon as she gets that confused, furrowed brow look on her face, you have but to press a button and zoom in on the flashing blue dildo shoved up her perfectly round ass. Goddamn, I love technology.

I’m not saying that Inescapable desires is the most fun I’ve ever had with my pants down, but it’s surely the most fun I’ve ever had with my pants done alone . Watching porn with two joysticks in your hand instead of the usual one may take some getting used to, but this is surely the future of porn, and I feel like a fuckin’ space cowboy already.

-Sleazegrinder