Just to confuse the German. This is from the girl last night who wouldn't give me her number:

A polar bear walks into a bar and orders a drink.

Bartender: We don't serve polar bears.
Polar Bear: If you don't give me a drink, I'll eat someone.
Bartender: Go ahead. Eat someone.

The polar bear walks to the end of the bar and eats a woman who was drinking there.

Polar Bear: Now can I have a drink?
Bartender: No. We don't serve drug addicts.
Polar Bear: But, I'm not a drug addict.
Bartender: Yes you are. That was a bar bitch you ate.

Seealso:
http://forum.jerkoffzone.net/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=548896&page=1

Oops. I've even posted in that thread, too.

What do you call a dear with no eyes?

No eye dear.

What do you call a dear with no eyes and no legs?

Still no eye dear.

What do you call a dear with no eyes, no legs, and no cock?

Still, no fucking eye dear.

A guy walks into a bar.

Ouch.

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs on the wall - ART

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs on the floor - MATT

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in the water - BOB

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in jail- Really really fucking unlucky

You've been a bad joke for 2135 posts now.

Why did the turkey cross the road

To get to Mexico, where they don't celebrate thanks giving





What did the pink Panther said when he stepped on an ant- deadant deadant deadantdeadantdeadant



How many jews can you fit in a volkswagen? - 300. 2 in the front 2 in the back and 296 in the ashtray

An indian walks into a saloon with a bucket of feces and a moving burlap sack..

he orders a shot, shoots the bucket and empties a cat out of the sack and chases it across the room

the bar tender asks what the fuck is he doing

"me be like white man, drink whiskey, shoot shit, chase pussy around bar"

Whattaya say to a broad w/ no arms and no legs? Nice tits.



I was on an elevator w/ Allie Haze the other day. When the doors closed, I looked at her and said, "Can I smell your pussy?" Whore yelled out "NO!" so I said, "Well then it must be yer feet."

What is the bad thing about an Escalade going over a cliff w/ 2 mopes in it? Escalade seats 7.

Brandon, Christian, Dic Pusini and Panzer are all sitting in a hot tub. Suddenly some cum floats to the top of the water and Pusini yells out, "Who farted?"

Hyde and a lil kid are walking into the woods around dusk. Lil kid looks up at him and says, "Hey Mister, it's getting dark out here. I'm getting scared." Hyde looks down at the boy and says "How do you think I feel? I gotta leave by myself."

How do you make Frankie Figgs cry twice? Fuck him in the butt and wipe yer cock on his gundams.

What did Hannibal Lecter do after dumping his girlfriend?

He wiped his ass.

What do you call a guy with no sense of humour? Jigaloo.

Does Allie haze have a reputation for bad vaginal funk or was that just the first slut you thought of ?

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb??

Rape!

I talked to the girl who tells horrible jokes again. She's now a server at the bar I met her at. I must not have been as drunk last night because she looked a little dumpier and I didn't try to get her number again. This was her joke:

A zebra dies and when it gets to heaven it asks St. Peter if it's a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes. Peter can't answer the question, so he refers it to God. The zebra asks God the same thing and God replies, "You are what you are." So the zebra says, "Oh, so I'm white then. Otherwise, you would've said, 'You is what you is.'"

Mother Teresa arrives at the pearly gates and is given a tour of the place by St. Peter. She sees Princess Diana across the room and remarks to St Peter: "Hey, how come Princess Di gets a halo and I don't? C'mon, I am freaking Mother Teresa!"

St Peter mumbles: Uh, that's not a halo. It's a steering wheel.

I don't like her.

Too chubby or something else?

Something else.

[video:youtube]http://youtu.be/jCiIBfEKCds[/video]

Here:

And this video is basically a collection of horrible jokes:

The Man Show. lol...awesome

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling. This guy is full of bad jokes, but he tells them well.

Seen Jackie live 2x back in the late 90s. Good times.

Y did Neil Hamburger rape your mom in the ass?

answer: Up yours nagger.

Bad Joke Girl had a groaner last night that I can't remember right now. But after that one she just started telling Chuck Norris jokes. During sex, Chuck Norris is always on top because Chuck Norris doesn't fuck up.

What's the difference between dollars and Jews?

If I lost 6 million dollars I'd care.

What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they're both stuck up cunts.

Bad Joke Girl told me another groaner last night... “What is the definition of endless love? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.”

Buckwheat converted to Islam. He is now Kareem of Wheat.

rimshot.

What's the smartest thing to come out of a woman's mouth?

Einstein's dick

Kim Kardashian has a big ass.
.
.
.
She calls it Kayne.

punched that up for ya, brutha.

Q: What's the difference between Brandon Irons and a bucket of herpes-infected semen?

A: The bucket.