Full Anal Access ( Platinum X )
Well, I think Scissorfight said it best- “Ass, ass, ass, planet of goddamn ass!” If you’re like most men, you think about ass all day. When you’re out on the street, soaking in the local talent, sick, twisted scenarios pop into your head as young, tight, denim-clad asses stroll past you. When you get home, you turn on the TV and wait for Britney or somebody to turn around. You fall asleep with your dick in your hand, dreaming of…well, ass . It’s a never-ending hunger, an insatiable appetite, and it will continue to nag and torment you until your dying day. So you might as well just get used to it. Platinum X, the helpful motherfuckers, completely understand your plight, and they are here to help. While some porno houses are content to just give you a little anal access, some at the most, PX give you Full Access- all the ass you could possibly want. What does this mean? Well, it means they will spread open their starlet’s bulging rump and rub that oily, wrinkled brown eye right on the fuckin’ camera lens for you. Nobody, not even the girls’ proctologist (and you know they’ve got to have one, what with all the sphincter shredding going on) will ever get this close to their almighty dumpers. You want highlights? Well, chica Rio Mariah has a face that could stop a clock, but a rear end that surely stops traffic, and even if she didn’t get stretched to her limit here (and she does), her jiggling and butt-jutting at the beginning of the scene would be more than enough to take you all the way to Rome. Although she’s really too thin-in-the-back for the job, porn’s craziest-and loudest - bitch Brooke Balentine is here too, and they have the good taste to keep her mouth busy with enough cock that she really can’t talk too much. Ashley Blue is one of the cutest ‘regular girls’ in all of porndom, and her perfectly round ass is really put to work here. But the piece d’resASStance of Full Anal Access has got to be covergirl Mandy Bright ’s awesome display of backside boogie. Parenthetically, I think Mandy is from Hungary or somewhere, and yes, I know none of these girls use their real names, but if there’s anyone in this world that’s less likely to actually be named Mandy Bright, it’s this statuesque Euro-booty beauty. Anyway, who the fuck cares where she’s from really, because the sight of this amazing girl in tight red shorts is enough to set my heart a flutter and my pants to the cleaners. And that’s before they bust out the buttplug. Mandy gets two Ben Wah balls in the pussy, one extra large plug deep in her ass, and a mouthful of extra large cock for her troubles. It’s the one of the hottest scenes I’ve ever borne witness to, until…until they pop out the buttplug, and a spurt of something nasty shoots out of her asshole. I dunno what it is- looks kinda like rice pudding- but it’s a shocker. It’s ok, though. The guy just shoves it all back in with his dick.

I could ramble on, but you get the picture, right? If this place ever burns down, I’m grabbing this one on the way out, right after the wife but before the dog (if I had a dog). Gotta keep your priorities straight, right? I dunno if there’s really anything classic about fucking chicks in the ass, but if there is, than this one ought to be considered the Stairway to Heaven of buttfuck flicks. Bravo.