Likely suspects:

Layne Thrasher. There used to be a time when danni.com was kind of hip. Sure there were no dicks allowed on the set, but because the whores thought it was a cool gig, it looked very believable, which goes a long way in porn. This made it a cash machine, and if you're the owner you like that. So leave it to rockstar wannabe Layne to run the place into the ground by making it the most depressing place in porndom to work. End result, the place is tits up, sold to Penthouse for probably next to nothing.

Martin del Toro. I don't know Haley Paige. I don't know how sweet and innocent she is, like a "sweet innocent girl" can make porn, but she got hosed big-time by Hungarian convict Marton, who marries her, ditches her when she probably needed some help the most, then tried to divorce her when he thought his green-card clear period was done. Too bad he can't count to 24 months in English. Not to mention getting fired from RLD for embezzling money. Last seen trying to defraud the music business.

Joe Francis. How many times has Joe been accused of rape? It must seem natural now. Even when an L.A. reporter tries to write what would be a vaguely indifferent story on GGW, he manages to fuck that up by trying to molest her. What a fucking idiot. Not to mention seeing Katie Morgan popping up in those videos. Some "amateur college girl" she is.

Shy Love. The big chompers, the fake tits, the "I used to be ugly but I am so beautiful now" mentality. Ermm...used to be?. Shy, please let us know who hasn't sued you in the last year for taking money or breaching some contract? I guess that's just your way of "being mainstream."

Brandon Irons. Brandy hasn't been heard from a lot these days, but back earlier in the year he got great delight in ripping JM over the obscenity indictment, as douchebags are wont to do. Too bad he forgot his own girlfriend outed him as a sexual sociopath, who aroused plenty of anger when he helped start the "slap the whore in the face" trick. Hypocrite. Jeff and Max's money support the free speech which allows you to continue perpetrating the organized prostitution you call porn.

Mike Ramone. God doesn't exist, I'm the "Eighth Ramone", AVN doesn't plagiarize, blah blah blah. I'll tell you who does exist: Lord Master Damien, Ramone's gay phone-sex alter ego. And many on this board knew the story long before L-ke F-rd did his infamous Google search (inside story). Whether or not Ramone actually did sell his AVN votes for a hummer, he cast a long enough shadow on the AVN Awards that a brown carpet is just the right color for this year's show.

Mary Carey. I'm running for governor/I'm pulling out/I'm drunk/I'm sober/I love Tawny/I hate Tawny and love my boyfriend/I hate my boyfriend he's a tweaker/I want my name/Mariah has my name. Jezuz H is there a bigger attention whore in porn right now? Is she even in porn? Has she opened her legs for sex in the dirt for money anytime lately? Word of advice Mary: you brag about how funny Howard Stern thinks you are. Trust me superstar, they aren't laughing with you.

The Cathouse. First it was Pornucopia, then the The Family Business, now this sendup of baloney. Sure, brothel owner Dennis Hof is a kindly old sort who you'd invite over to dinner. Hookers do it for the love of the "world's oldest profession." Who pays to bang Sunset Thomas any more? Same misinformation, new show.

Lori Lust. You're 26? Yeah, right. Enough said, horseface.

i'll need time to decide. but i can't erase this picture from my mind because steroids ended in beggary and tragedy. and somewhere between those two lies comedy.



[ed: saved picture for posterity]

I had an anal trainer joke to make but it's beyond the pale, even for me, even for xpt.

(btw WillieD, another funny, well-written post. You should apply for that avn editors job if you see fishbein in Vegas)

he's fisting that baby

Well shiver me timbers....you did it...

i wish i had the patience and style willie does with the written word. i could never post that without an hour of ocd-editing. i just lock, load, and regret. if someone's ever missed his calling, it's billy. the people in finance who can write do it for the hbr and mckinsey quarterly, not on porn boards.

Is this some new, twisted parody of the "My Dick In A Box" video or something?

So I'm stoned off my face in the Mirage, reading this post. WillieD, one of the best posts of XPT, period. Jamesn, staggering.

This post truly is the shit.

This one...

It's been 8 years already. If I won, I'd like a trophy or something.

Fine. Go and collect your aidsrape from Darren James.

I'd prefer an old-school AVN award with a big turd on the head. If you cannot provide a trophy, I have a couple sitting around. Will donate one with pleasure.

Nah. At most you get a Tom Cruise buttplug.

I'm withdrawing my name from consideration.

OK, so I'm way over XPT now, this forum and I went our separate ways, my real life became a lot more interesting and I just didn't have time to post here anymore. This will probably just be a hit-and-run comeback, sorry. But there is one thing that is bugging me...

Does anyone know more about what happened to JamesN? I know that he didn't wake up one day about 3 years ago, but nothing more than that. I suppose it's irrelevant, but I felt a connection with the dude, that guy was gifted, and I would like to know what happened.

When I found out that he passed on I posted a thread here, it got deleted by LouCypher because of real-life implications (Apologies and I understand why, no disrespect intended.) Did anyone find out more? Bornyo, I'm looking at you, if anyone knows you do. PM me if you don't want to say here.

I thought he OD'ed on pain pills. I can't recall if anyone mentioned whether or not it was intentional.

I'd be very surprised if it was intentional. What I do know is that he had ADHD and was prescribed Ritalin, which he tended to abuse (and that resulted in some of his best work here). So I figured an accidental overdose or a drug interaction might explain it.

Out of respect to JamesN and all he failed to accomplish in life, I nominate him for Posthumous Porn Shithead 2014.

If he was abusing them, he was probably also snorting them, which is like a poor mans blow, been there done that many times. I switched to Adderal a long time ago cuz that shit is the most vile thing to snort. Just gross blueness everywhere, including blue shits for a couple days after a bender. No thanks. I still take about twice the prescribed daily dose, but haven't snorted them in years and never would again. Shit is rough.

Generic adderall snorted just fine for me. Flesh colored 20's.

The blues crush up so easy that they had to be designed to be abused.

I have a few friends who don't like adderall. "They don't do anything for me." Yeah bro, that is a sign you need em.

Yea the 20's were easier to snort than the blue 10's, yes they are easy to crush up, but fucking revolting. If you can't afford or find really good coke, I guess it's a good 2nd choice, but thankfully if I need the need for that type of upper, my boy Juan comes through with an 8 of barely stepped on yayo.

I thought they were Orange. I have one someone gave me and Im scared to take it, I don't like that crazy up high in my head type of head.

the delete wasn't personal and your inclination to hit up Bornyo is spot on...

I fucking love Adderall. only way I can see the world with any positive spin.

it's hell when I've run out.

I hate it. I think too much as is and my energy level is already through the roof.

you're lucky on the energy level. but i love thinking too much.