.
XXX Porn Talk Navigation Home The Message Board Chat Room Chat Transcripts Contact Information Log In/Out
.
JM Toys and More!!
JM Toys and More!!
New Release This Week
New DVD Release at JerkOffZone.com
VOD / Download Links
JM Downloads/VOD
XPT VOD
Gamelink VOD
New Release This Week
New DVD Release at JerkOffZone.com
Internet Video Rentals
Sugar DVD
Bush DVD
Adult Gossip & News
TRPWL.com
LukeIsBack
TheFloatingWorld
GramPonante.com
Forum Stats
18825 Members
14 Forums
40280 Topics
613604 Posts

Max Online: 567 @ 08/25/13 12:06 PM
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#587943 - 04/04/13 08:20 AM Own a piece of history!
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
For sale: Gently used 5x8 foot carpet, guaranteed not to give rug burns. Who wants to open the bidding? Serious and non-serious offers welcome.
Buy today and I will throw in an autographed copy of LOAD MY MOUTH.


Attachments
Carpet.jpg (666 downloads)


Top
#587944 - 04/04/13 08:27 AM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
have2cit Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
I'll give you a couple of gallons of premium white paint to cover up your ghastly wall color if you promise to not throw it in the trash where someone could recover it and inflict grave bodily harm on themselves by touching its surface with their bare skin. Burn it instead. Better safe than sorry man.

Top
#587945 - 04/04/13 08:30 AM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Cash offers preferred. No bartering.
It's worth noting that the new owner would have enough DNA to clone me. Imagine all the fun you could have in 18 years and 9 months from day of purchase!

Top
#587948 - 04/04/13 01:04 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
drained Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 02/12/08
Posts: 4580
Conservative.

Top
#587950 - 04/04/13 02:07 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8432
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
Is it easy to mail toxic waste?
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

Top
#587951 - 04/04/13 02:10 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
oralperv Offline
Rob Black's Crack Pipe

Registered: 04/15/12
Posts: 117
.
does it match the drapes ?
.
_________________________
"If it quacks like a duck .. I probably have a boner"

Top
#587957 - 04/04/13 03:19 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
gia jordan Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
Brandon mistakes everywhere for Craigslist.

Top
#587958 - 04/04/13 03:28 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
My savings will last me through next Thursday. After that, I'm broke. I will contact the Erotic Heritage Museum in Las Vegas to see if they will give it a good home but I would rather have a crisp $20 bill in my pocket.

Top
#587959 - 04/04/13 03:32 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12816
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
Plunk 2 loads on it and Panzer will buy it. He is into condiments.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

Top
#587962 - 04/04/13 03:41 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
This carpet is perfumed with the scent of Nikita Bellucci's feet and ass. Does that change things for anyone?




Attachments
Nikita.jpg (353 downloads)
Nikita1.jpg (351 downloads)
Nikita2.jpg (349 downloads)


Top
#587964 - 04/04/13 04:20 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Max Rhino Offline
Bukkake Boy

Registered: 05/09/06
Posts: 699
Loc: Doony's Tiki Boat
Everyone stand back. This is a job for hazmat.

_________________________
[AWOP troll]^Chicken shit un-American hippie faggot! ^ [/AWOP troll] -- charin

Top
#587974 - 04/04/13 06:19 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
TRPWL Offline
Internet Tough Guy

Registered: 06/11/11
Posts: 857
Loc: texas
you may have to throw in that tee you always wear..


Edited by TRPWL (04/04/13 06:19 PM)
_________________________
http://TRPWL.COM


Top
#587988 - 04/04/13 08:20 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
I will step things up by offering Jodi Taylor's empty can of 7UP. Let me tell you, I was 7UP too.


Attachments
7up.jpg (310 downloads)


Top
#587992 - 04/04/13 09:13 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Jigaloo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/17/06
Posts: 7863
That's not 7Up. If you're going to try and make some money for once do it right. It's Cherry 7Up, unless she had a stockpile of Pomegranate 7Up
_________________________

Top
#587995 - 04/04/13 10:51 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
True, it was Cherry 7UP. None of it got on the carpet. Back to the bidding war. What is your opening bid, Jig?

Top
#588004 - 04/05/13 02:46 AM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
faceblaster Offline
Elder of Zion
Porn Jesus

Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 5138
Loc: watching Bad Ronald
A little bird told me that you tried to roll that carpet up and it wouldn't bend or roll. Too crusty. Izzat true?
_________________________
I really wanted to go to that Bukake because I thought for sure that you were going to be on the receiving end. - Ryan Knox to Jeff Steward


Top
#588007 - 04/05/13 06:24 AM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Jigaloo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/17/06
Posts: 7863
Originally Posted By: Brandon_Iron
True, it was Cherry 7UP. None of it got on the carpet. Back to the bidding war. What is your opening bid, Jig?


-$2.00
_________________________

Top
#588008 - 04/05/13 06:24 AM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: faceblaster]
Jigaloo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/17/06
Posts: 7863
Originally Posted By: faceblaster
A little bird told me that you tried to roll that carpet up and it wouldn't bend or roll. Too crusty. Izzat true?


If he would just replace it everything he has to roll it around a body....
_________________________

Top
#588009 - 04/05/13 07:47 AM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: faceblaster]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Originally Posted By: faceblaster
A little bird told me that you tried to roll that carpet up and it wouldn't bend or roll. Too crusty. Izzat true?


A vacuum can do only so much. There are calcified deposits that go back nearly a decade. Before Bree Olson walked on Charlie Sheen's carpet, she walked on this one. Before Brianna Love brought life into the world, she gave birth to a legacy of hope that still inspires and uplifts me...well, parts of me.

Cynics will say, "Hey, Iron! Isn't that the same tired blanket? Same throw pillows? Are they included, too? The answers: Yes, yes, no. Like in The Big Leblowski, this carpet ties the room together. Yes, there is some urine on it, too, but that's to be expected due to hiring some legends of the "squirting" genre of the mid-00s.

A potpourri of cheap 99 cent store perfume, sweat, piss, and desperation will waft to the new owner's nose. Mother's Day is coming up soon, too! Think of how many former guests are now bouncing little bundles of joy on their laps instead of their tongues. Celebrate the miracle of life with this carpet, friends.


Attachments
Brianna.jpg (267 downloads)


Top
#588010 - 04/05/13 07:50 AM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Jigaloo]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Originally Posted By: Jigaloo
Originally Posted By: Brandon_Iron
True, it was Cherry 7UP. None of it got on the carpet. Back to the bidding war. What is your opening bid, Jig?


-$2.00


Is that $2 or -$2? Need clarification, please. If it's the former, you are in the lead and there is no reserve bid.

Top
#588015 - 04/05/13 09:28 AM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Jigaloo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/17/06
Posts: 7863
Negative $2. Consider it an IOU that will never be paid. If the can is empty why isn't Alex bidding on it?
_________________________

Top
#588379 - 04/10/13 07:20 AM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Taking a cue from www.lukeisback.com, I am cutting my price by 50% in hopes of speeding up the sale of my carpet. The last offer was negative $2. I'm not a mathematician. Does that mean a 50% discount makes it negative $3 or negative $1?

Top
#588381 - 04/10/13 07:28 AM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
have2cit Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
One gallon of premium white latex interior paint then and an asbestos like recovery and containment operation to safely dispose of said rug.

Top
#588382 - 04/10/13 09:01 AM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
You can take your Measure B latex requirement and stuff it, sir.
This is a cash only transaction.

Top
#588387 - 04/10/13 10:08 AM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
have2cit Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
Originally Posted By: Brandon Iron
This is a cash only transaction.



Hey now! I'm not one of your "dates".

Top
#588395 - 04/10/13 12:40 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Look, the truth is at the end of most of my shoots I make a pinkie promise with the girl to do it again. That means I have to bring in some moolah to pay for it. The wolf is at the door, fellas, and I know I can count on the hard-working members of xxxporntalk.com to come through for me so I can continue to not work at all.

Thanks in advance for your continued support. The rug will be available for private viewings until 11:00pm tonight, the call time for my next encounter.


Attachments
Madison.jpg (252 downloads)


Top
#588402 - 04/10/13 02:32 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12816
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
Could I pick the rug up in person? What is it, like 6'x3'? If so, I could probably roll you up in it, like a burrito, then set it on fire.

Do you film whores at such hours hoping they are loaded by the time they get to the Mustard Mansion?
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

Top
#588406 - 04/10/13 03:02 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
My talent is often busy during office hours. I assume they are high-powered executives, real movers and shakers. I often ask them to keep moving and shaking when they get out of their work clothes.

For the record, my carpet is 5x8.

Top
#588499 - 04/11/13 02:35 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
TRPWL Offline
Internet Tough Guy

Registered: 06/11/11
Posts: 857
Loc: texas
how much for that bottle on the floor ? is it clean? or does it have crack whore juice on it..? And also do you ship? id like to send that wine bottle to Henderson NV..
_________________________
http://TRPWL.COM


Top
#588509 - 04/11/13 04:47 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
No bottles are included in the sale. My home-brew ruffie coladas are as irreplaceable as your grandmother's chicken soup recipe. The carpet is clean-ish. It has been vacuumed but not steam cleaned. I have not tested it for any type of juices but it's reasonable to assume it's a bouillabaisse of saliva, bile, cum, sweat, yeast, and a pinch of fecal matter.
Shipping is not included, just like Craigslist. I want to avoid the scammers.
Rob Black did a feature on the carpet on his internet radio show yesterday. Obviously, he still wields tremendous power and is in no way some ranting lunatic with a microphone. I expect this carpet to be gone in the next 48 hours. Act quickly.

Top
#588512 - 04/11/13 05:16 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
faceblaster Offline
Elder of Zion
Porn Jesus

Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 5138
Loc: watching Bad Ronald
Originally Posted By: Brandon_Iron
I expect this carpet to be gone in the next 48 hours. Act quickly.


One way or another.


Attachments
1005_chasing-towelie.jpg (164 downloads)

_________________________
I really wanted to go to that Bukake because I thought for sure that you were going to be on the receiving end. - Ryan Knox to Jeff Steward


Top
#588513 - 04/11/13 05:18 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
I object to your characterization that my carpet has so many germs it may get up and walk away on its own. Stop slandering my rug or you will hear from my lawyer.

Top
#588514 - 04/11/13 05:21 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
faceblaster Offline
Elder of Zion
Porn Jesus

Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 5138
Loc: watching Bad Ronald


Attachments
dewey cheatem and howe.JPG (160 downloads)

_________________________
I really wanted to go to that Bukake because I thought for sure that you were going to be on the receiving end. - Ryan Knox to Jeff Steward


Top
#588517 - 04/11/13 05:23 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
I see they have contacted you already. I now consider this matter closed.

Top
#588522 - 04/11/13 06:32 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
TRPWL Offline
Internet Tough Guy

Registered: 06/11/11
Posts: 857
Loc: texas
I expect 10% of the total sale price..Delivered in US dollars unmarked


Own a piece of history! Brandon Irons Is Having a Sale
_________________________
http://TRPWL.COM


Top
#588523 - 04/11/13 06:40 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Have you joined my carpet affiliate program?

Top
#588526 - 04/11/13 07:34 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
the unknown pervert Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
Originally Posted By: Brandon_Iron
You can take your Measure B latex requirement and stuff it, sir.
This is a cash only transaction.


Panzer's going to call the Better Business Bureau on you for baiting him with a word that begins with tran.
_________________________
I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules

Top
#588529 - 04/11/13 07:48 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
LouCypher Offline
@
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
Originally Posted By: Brandon_Iron
Have you joined my carpet affiliate program?


Brandon you could become the martha stewart of porn and bring the skeet blanket to the masses.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn

Top
#588537 - 04/11/13 08:19 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
They had a broken keyboard, I bought a broken keyboard
I bought a skeet blanket, then I bought a knee board


Wait'll you see the girls on their knee boards.

Top
#588542 - 04/11/13 08:39 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
LouCypher Offline
@
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn

Top
#588543 - 04/11/13 08:48 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Seriously, though, if I could just sell this ratty old rug and get a new one, I'd be on the upswing again. Girls want to feel classy when they are sucking off a guy they just met. They want to kneel on faux fur or sheepskin or something. Please help make this happen.

Top
#588545 - 04/11/13 08:57 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12816
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
Before you sell it, you gotta get a whore in Down Doggy on it. Then, while you are pounding it, tell her you have fucked 600 chicks on that carpet and never cleaned it. Make sure you have a camera pointed at her face to get her reaction.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

Top
#588548 - 04/11/13 09:23 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
The carpet will be the star from now on. That's called thinking outside the box.

Top
#588550 - 04/11/13 10:27 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
drained Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 02/12/08
Posts: 4580
Crispy Rug Munchers. Apparently.

Top
#588553 - 04/11/13 11:01 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
If it hasn't been done before, I'm on the cutting edge.

Top
#588557 - 04/12/13 03:12 AM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
faceblaster Offline
Elder of Zion
Porn Jesus

Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 5138
Loc: watching Bad Ronald
The CarpetBangers
_________________________
I really wanted to go to that Bukake because I thought for sure that you were going to be on the receiving end. - Ryan Knox to Jeff Steward


Top
#588563 - 04/12/13 07:47 AM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
TRPWL Offline
Internet Tough Guy

Registered: 06/11/11
Posts: 857
Loc: texas
HAZMAT will never let that carpet into the USA.,.Brandon do you offer a carpet smuggler as part of the deal? Maybe Nat can keester it and bring it back for a small price...
_________________________
http://TRPWL.COM


Top
#588564 - 04/12/13 08:10 AM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
"Is that a 5x8 carpet in your ass or are you just happy to see me?"

Top
#588568 - 04/12/13 09:53 AM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12816
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
Maybe you should tweet to Hillary Clinton about the sale. I heard rumors she is a carpet muncher.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

Top
#588575 - 04/12/13 12:43 PM Re: Own a piece of history! [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
I put all my faith in Rob Black's internet radio station. He did a big 20 minute feature on the carpet earlier this week yet there seems to be no interest. Either he doesn't have that many people listening to him or my 9 year old carpet is not an item in demand. Not sure which is true.

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >



Moderator:  Jerkules, zenman 
Shout Box

JM Productions
JM Productions Official Home is the JerkOffZone.com
Gag Factor
Yeah, it's that fucked up!!
American Bukkake
Tap into your inner degenerate!!
JM has the Best Variety !!
JM Video Lines
Who's Online
1 registered (CactusIago), 114 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod