...Your car got repo'd after your girl stopped doing anal.

...You don't kiss your girl during her time of the month, because she's doing a ton of BJ scenes.

...Your girl is named after a nicer car than the one you drive.

...The only pics you have of your girl w/o a dick in her are the ones you post on Backpage.

...You remember how many tricks it took your girl to buy you your first pit bull.

...Your girl gets discount rates at the Red Roof Inn.

...When you talk to your girl about improving the menu, you don't mean dinner.

you might be a suitcase pimp if youve already dream spent the money she hasnt even made yet on other whores,drugs,and cars.

You contemplate desired purchases as number of loads to take rather than dollars.

Just an aside, how in the fuck did Rick Shameless get back into porn? He was one of the slimiest shitbags out there.

.....you use your girlfriends accounts on ms, fb, twitter, adt, and xpt to post.

For a minute there, I thought that Gia was mentioning / including that douchebag “Rick Barcode” (Katie Cox’s husband / suitcase pimp).

I’m glad I read it wrong now, but it was actually funnier with Barcode’s name instead of Shameless.

Any form you fill out features the words Trailer Park somewhere on the place of business line.

...the word “Park”, as well as “Court”, “Haven” or “Estates”.

more....

... you schedule your girlfriend for a DP so you can make your spinners payment at "Rent and Roll."

Nice first post!

Bono, is that you?

Jesus, Eric, it's nearly six years since they banned your ass. Maybe it's time to let it go, yes?

Your subtraction skills are skewed.

You might be a suitcase pimp...

if your girlfriend/wife blogs things to the tune of:

"...Among the noteworthy, momentous handjobs I have given are to a guy named Curtis, whose gigantic black cock I actually stroked off to an unbelievably massive load all over my wedding ring as Steve filmed the action...

To Steve and I, having Curtis shoot his load directly onto my wedding ring was not a defiling thing but rather a highly-erotic symbol of the openness and honesty of our relationship..."

http://www.janetmasonblog.com/

Plus being a symbol of his cuckholdery.

...You bought your girl an Iphone for her birthday, with her own money, and you wrote it off as a business expense. She is allowed 3 apps: Craigslist, to advertise; poker, to pass the time between tricks; and a lost phone tracker, to find her if she flees.

...Your girl ever did a car date, to get enough money to buy you McDonald's for dinner.

If Lee Stone ever had to hold you back from getting at Jim Powers throat.........

...if you know the locations of every 24hr check cashing place and Taco Bell in the Chatsworth and Woodland Hills zip codes.

...if you find yourself in the checkout line at Ralph's with nothing but Fleet enemas and baby wipes.

...if you have a pocket full of hotel room keys, yet have no major credit card in your name.

the middle one could be you might be panzer.

I couldn't think of one with baby wipes in it, ^^^that was good.

On the hotel room keys:

...if you keep separate hotel keys for chopping lines of coke and speed.

That's funny. Is it based in reality?

Ummmmm, backstory? Please.

On the Most Outrageous Porn outtakes Jim seems like a soft touch with the girls. Jimmy Thrust or whateverhisnameis seems more aggro on set.

It's somewhat reality based. In one of the titles Claude just mentioned, some latina gangsta chick's OG boyfriend showed up on set and Jim was keeping Lee close, just in case.

I guess I only pictured guys with douchebag facial hair showing up with his ticket...er, girlfriend. They're harmless as kittens. But some real ghetto/ bario Romeo would be a little nervewracking.

Especially in SoCal, the image of some uppity Chula motherfucker comes to mind, waltzing in all covered in tattoos b/c he thinks he is a UFC-badass. Newflash, spic-n-span, you’re not nearly as tough as you think you are w/o the gun or ‘blade’ you brandish.

And Jim isn’t a very big guy, so I could understand the hopes that some stunt cock would save him. I always thought he was pretty cool in the few encounters I’ve had with him, despite the fact I’m not 1/8 the soccer fan he is.

Soccer blows.

Cholo (masc)

I don't think Jim gives a fuck, really. What happened was this guy showed up, and Ashley Blue was warning Jim that he's "reallll gangsta" and Jim said something to the effect of, "What's he gonna' do with Lee around?"

Lee Stone the juiced up mope that shoots loads like his dick is an eye dropper? I'd take scrappy lil beaner w/a blade v juiced up mope.

I'd almost always take the guy with the blade. Sure, those Bas Rutten vids make disarming seem like an easy and fun activity, but in real life it's a bitch. No matter your juiced physique and trendy tribal tattoos.

lmfao

The problem is, some people think muscles equals strength and toughness.

Pretty boys with muscles don't fare well against little wirey fucks who push their gf to do porn

If I had to choose between myself, Lee Stone, Or Ashley Blue as protection, I'd probably go with Lee. Tough or not, he would definitely hand me my ass.

The meth makes them not only wirey but bulletproof. Plus, they slap around the bitch they love. What do you think they'll do to someone they don't love. Unless that someone has more crystal.

Has a Porn Whore used the name Krystal Beth yet?? Can I trade mark that shit? We will have to scoop up the domains with a C and the K, to insure we don't come across a knock off. I'm gonna have to start scouting talent, I don't want some sloppy broad or a cookie cutter bleached, siliconed and bronzed broad using it.

Oh, I agree. But I doubt the threat of being shot has stopped them before. And my guess is, they turned their gf out in order to be able to by more meth. So if you get in their way.....

My point is, if Lee Stone was my protection, I'd be very cautious as to what I said and did