Ex Porn Star Neesa Story



I was silly, happy and outgoing little girl. My mother taught me good values and I knew my dad loved me in his own way. I also had two older brothers.

When I was in the 4th grade, my parents divorced and my whole world crashed. My brother who was 2 years older than me began to abuse me physically and mentally. I remember thinking that the abuse from my brother was normal. I just accepted it. If a friend came over, he would scream at me and get violent. Eventually, none of my friends wanted to come over anymore. He was finally sent to live with my Dad when I was around 16. My mother fell apart because of it and became an alcoholic. I had to go live with a family friend in order to help my mom deal with the trauma of everything going on around her.

Through all this drama, I was still a “good girl” during my teens. I kept all the rules at home and school. I never broke curfew and stayed a virgin until I was 18. I didn't kiss a boy until I was 16 years old and he eventually broke my heart. He knew I wouldn’t go past the kissing stage with him so he decided to have sex with my best friend instead. I didn’t date again until I was 18. I was too brokenhearted. (That’s probably why I still feel like if I don’t have sex with a guy, he's not going to want to be with me. I've tried making them wait. They don't stick around more than a month so I feel like I always have to sex in order to keep a guy. )

I began to act rebellious and started hanging out with the “Goths”. I became a popular metal head/goth girl. I even started doing phone sex a month before I graduated high school right when I turned 18. It was my first job. That was the beginning of my sex work lifestyle.

I went into stripping at 20 years old when I was lured in by a female hairdresser who probably got kickbacks for finding girls. I was dancing at a club and the club photographer came in and asked to shoot naked photos of me for magazines. Then it went to shooting me with another girl in magazines and then it was me and guys in magazines and then it turned into solo videos, girl/girl videos and boy/girl videos and a few shoots with me and multiple performers. It was a progression that finally led me into the porn industry.

I worked in porn for 10 years with breaks in between. My work name was Neesa and I did about 27 movies. My last shoot was November 2006. It was a very abusive, frightening and unsanitary experience for me. They reuse dirty sex toys all the time on porn sets. Most of the time, the companies don't want to purchase a new sex toy. Which start at $10. That’s how cheap they are. I always saw girls that had sore vaginas. We would want to take a bigger break to try to regain our composure after enduring painful scenes, but the directors, camera men, etc., would stress that they "needed to get of there as soon as possible". And the company wouldn't want them to have to pay their employees extra time. So, most the time, there wasn’t time for a shower to take after shoots. Not to mention doing shoots on couches that they used for other shoots. I doubt they paid to clean it after each time it got used.

In the worst scene and moment of my life, I was raped and verbally and mentally abused while making a video with Max Hardcore. It was the most horrible and degrading experience I ever had. I was in complete shock and horror. After that scene was shot, I got tested at AIM (Adult Industry Medical Clinic). I was horrified to find out that I was positive with Chlamydia/Gonorrhea in the throat. We didn't have vaginal or anal sex because my HIV test wasn't ready yet. So he insisted on an oral scene and right after that scene I tested positive for the two STD’s. I called Dr. Sharon Mitchell to let her know. She asked Max to come in and test. I'm sure she told him which girl, and what the diseases were, even before he came in. Of course he would take Zithromax before he got retested as Sharon wouldn't want to lose one of her biggest clients. They care about money. That’s it. Sharon Mitchell called me after he tested and called me a liar. "He didn't give it to you. His test came back negative". She said in a rude, ambivalent manner. This is the clinic that claims to keep us safe. It’s a joke.

I left porn 3 ½ years ago because I just couldn’t do it anymore, especially after the rape. I found out about The Pink Cross Foundation at a booth at AVN. I think very highly of The Pink Cross team and Shelley Lubben. They have taught me important information about the industry that I should have known before I even got in. They treat me like I am human. They are very caring. Shelley sends me care packages often. And they are filled with love, information, great books.etc. It put tears in my eyes. I felt so loved. It had been a long time since someone loved me like that. She and the organization don’t force religion on anyone. I went to her and she treats me with love and respect. I like being around girls that are just like me - FORMER porn actresses. I am very thankful for Shelley’s team and all of their prayers.

Since I met Shelley and heard that God has a plan for my life, I decided to leave the sex business for good. I have been stripping to make ends meet but now I know that God is with me and wants me to leave. I went to school for being a dental assistant so I am going to try and get a job. It's not easy right now because I know I have some health issues to deal with because of everything I've done. But I feel God really working in my life so Im not going to give up. Please pray for me.

Love, Marcy

http://www.youtube.com/user/CreamCheeseIsTasty

She is an enormous liar and narcissistic cunt. watch any of her YT vids. she is so fucking into herself.


she is lying about when her last scene was too.

Pink Cross hypocrites may believe her lies.

God knows better.

I think the one thing we can all agree on. Fap fap fappity fap fap.

Does't FLoP #1 explain her behavior?

So she was raped orally? I know its possible but I have never heard of that before.

I'm raped aurally every time I hear Justin Bieber.

I suppose no relation to Martin Buber.

Everytime when I read these stories from the whores I get turned on reading them and I don't feel a bit sorry for them.

New sex toys? You just gotta wipe them with Windex and rinse with water.

BTW, I like her skanky makeup in her YouTube videos. I think that I will screen-cap it and save it in the makeup folder.

Sex toys are re-used on porn sets??



Opinion/Editorial by Darrah Ford

Are you fucking serious? You cheap disgusting pigs who run this diabolical industry living off the backs of these performers spend more money on your fucking cars and sending your children to private school but you don’t have the decency to spend a few dollars on new sex toys for these women?? These are the women who support your livelihoods while many of them walk away from this industry with less money than when they entered it.

Former porn star Neesa left the industry four years ago after the used sex toy incident. She also says the worst moment while in porn and in her life was being raped by Max Hardcore. After the rape, Neesa tested positive for Chlamydia/Gonorrhea in the throat. There was no anal or vaginal intercourse because her HIV test WASN’T READY YET. She went to Sharon Mitchell and Sharon called her liar and was extremely rude to her. Neesa alleges that AIM only cares about money and believed Max over her because he was a large client of theirs.

Neesa still suffers from health issues after being infected. She went to school studying to be a dental assistant and is now trying to find a job. You can read more of Neesa’s story at ShelleyLubben.com. Neesa also made this Youtube video talking about what she went through while in the industry.

http://darrahford.wordpress.com/2010/08/08/sex-toys-are-re-used-on-porn-sets

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These are the women who support your livelihoods while many of them walk away from this industry with less money than when they entered it.

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Panzer, you should definitely post that on Darrah's site.

I forget who asked, but that's the trick baby on the left.

No, that's Heather Jabornik.

Heather Jabornik is a writer, musician, rock chaplain, and freelance missionary.


This is Shelley's first daughter.

The Pink Cross guy is Darrah's friend Scott Smith

@DarrahFord I'm happy to be out here with a job that pays the bills and the ability to help the Lubbens. 4:25 AM Jun 14th

@TannahMontannah Darrah from porn star babylon wants you to e-mail her. her address is ps_babylon (at) yahoo (dot) com. cont... 12:59 AM Jan 6th via web

@DarrahFord Like I've said before. I hope I never get on your bad side. LOL!!!!! 7:53 AM Oct 26th, 2009

@TanneraMayesing Those people on XPT an other forums are morons. They are going to post whatever they think gets attention. 8:32 AM Oct 13th, 2009

http://twitter.com/scottsmith10

# Darrah Says:

...Do you do anything to help anyone in this industry? Pink Cross has helped many women/men despite what you think of Shelley herself. Many in this industry support her and what her organization does. You make it seem like she’s Pastor Melissa Scott flying around in private jets and living in mansions. Go after someone like her.

How much do you think an charity trying to help porn stars takes in? This isn’t Children Of The Night which probably makes millions because they deal with underage prostitutes with many in mainstream Hollywood donating. There have been many testimonials from former performers who have been helped by Pink Cross. Many currently in this industry publicly and privately support what Shelley does.

You go against Pink Cross because porn stars who want help have to get a full time job and completely leave porn and receive no residuals from porn. Well of course they can’t receive anything from porn. If someone has a drinking problem, would you tell them to keep on working at the local bar? And they need a job I would assume so they can start to get back on their feet again so they won’t fall back into porn. It would defeat Shelley’s purpose in helping these women if they’re still working in porn.

People go against the gift cards she gives out to shop at Target or Walmart. I have heard how many in this industry conned Shelley and also xxxChurch and took the cash that was given to them to spend it on drugs or give it to their boyfriends. Many never intended on leaving porn but wanted the money Shelley and these other organizations used to freely give out. So she either now gives out these cards or pays a specific bill where she knows exactly where the money is going to.

You go against the wishlist she has with the makeup she asks on it. Those are to put into the handbags Pink Cross gives out at the conventions they go to. If I’m feeling like shit, a bag of beauty products would make any woman feel a little bit better for the day. I saw a video once of Shelley preparing these bags and the process of what goes into collecting everything.

She helps those who want to be helped. his industry chews up and spits out the performers while no one helps them. But a former porn star is trying to help the best she can and you find fault in that?

I’m sure Shelley knows the industry will never be shut down. But like many, she wants to see a safer environment for the performers and wants them treated better instead of how badly they are treated by the people who run the industry. I had been minutes away many times from posting about the new rapes and gangrapes happening on & off set currently in this industry. But I’m then told I can’t or else I’ll be the one arrested because I would be making public of an ongoing police investigation.

You make it seem like this industry is full of rainbows and butterflies when it’s mostly a sewer of lost souls being abused, manipulated, conned, and robbed constantly by the people who run this industry. Many leave this industry in more debt than when they had first entered it. Many leave this industry as drug addicts when they never touched drugs before. Many leave this industry with STDs when they never had them before. But the constant lie put out into the mainstream press by the Jenna Jameson’s of the world that said how empowering this industry and a great career for women because of how much “power and control” they have. Jenna never had any power. It was given to her by her current husband Jay. Then the so-called queen of porn is crying on Oprah asking what am I going to tell my kids when they’re older.

July 6th, 2010 at 2:45 p

Darrah just regurgitates gossip that she gleans from teh intrawebs. At least Luke had some first-hand knowledge. How could her writings even be remotely considered journalism without first-hand knowledge? IMO it is just uninformed opinion, no better than the talk radio blowhards spouting off on issues about which they have little if any information.

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but would somebody tell Darrah

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[AnimalHouse"Germans?"] Forget it. She's rolling. [/AnimalHouse"Germans?"]

"God woke me up and told me to put my story on a website," Mrs. Lubben recently told The Washington Times...

Sounds more like HaSatan to me ...

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Even the Pope would rabbit punch her chin a few times if given the opportunity.

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She's a prepubescent boy??