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Max Online: 639 @ 01/18/23 06:59 AM
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#41024 - 07/26/04 09:12 PM
Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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As the monkey's cage continues to grow we have decided to add a new element to the site. From now on whenever you have a problem we have a new girl here who is going to try and answer it for you, she is wise beyond her years, Her name is Christina and she takes on many forms of different christinas. Confused, well i will start the ball rolling. This is serious to, if you have a problem feel free to ask it and christina will answer it as best she can and reward you with a picture.
Dear christina, i have a problem and was wondering if you could help, i have a pillar that has shown signs of cracks in the side and im worried that it could break and the roof above will tumble down on our heads while we eat dinner, what do you suggest for the problem.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41026 - 07/26/04 09:17 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Thanks christina, as you can see she has a vast knowledge on many topics, so if you have a problem feel free to ask away.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41028 - 07/27/04 03:36 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Dear Christina,
I understand women with huge knockers have a problem keeping their spines in line. How do you keep your back so straight?
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#41029 - 07/27/04 04:19 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
Dear Christina,
you didnt answer Monkey's question.Why?
this is christina here, chico you sexy thing you, i did answer the question. I didn't know how to verbalize it so i used a picture showing how to do it, a picture is worth a thousand words and a picture with me wearing a thong has to be worst at least 1200 right, which is actually what i got paid for the shoot, how ironic.
Quote:
Dear Christina,
I understand women with huge knockers have a problem keeping their spines in line. How do you keep your back so straight?
How right you are, there is a price to pay having the big girls, what i tend to do is yoga back exercises for at least an hour a day, i have a lot of great supporting bras and if you would have a look at the picture above these type of exercises also tend to help and a great smile will get you everywhere. xxx ooo christina.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41030 - 07/27/04 06:36 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/20/03
Posts: 5256
Loc: CSW Wrestling - Gracie Academy
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Dear Christina, Thanks...ummm...Whats the real story between Monkey and Fayner? Don't hold back since your smarter than the magic 8 ball. www.exquisitemenu.comwww.adultstaffingservices.com
_________________________
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#41031 - 07/27/04 06:42 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 951
Loc: IL
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ok, monkey. the christina bit made me LOL. but the question is, can you keep giving us this great material? if not I banish you to a lifetime of rimming smartt.
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#41032 - 07/27/04 06:48 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Dear Christina, When your daddy "Puts It To You" and he "Pimps" your pictures out on the net, how do you hold your head up high and continue to look into the camera without tears of shame streaming down your face? 
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#41034 - 07/27/04 08:36 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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Dear Christina, Tickle your ass with a feather? 
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#41035 - 07/27/04 04:12 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
Dear Christina,
Thanks...ummm...Whats the real story between Monkey and Fayner? Don't hold back since your smarter than the magic 8 ball.
Chico as much as i would love to tell you i can't because if i do the monkey will beat me (monkey yells from the kitchen, what are you talking about over there, christina whispers back, nothing monkey, its okay).
Quote:
ok, monkey. the christina bit made me LOL. but the question is, can you keep giving us this great material? if not I banish you to a lifetime of rimming smartt.
If i wasn't working for the monkey and knew everything about the monkey i would swear this is the monkey's second id used to stroke his ego , brandon iron's style. Lucky i know the monkey better then most.
Quote:
Dear Christina,
When your daddy "Puts It To You" and he "Pimps" your pictures out on the net, how do you hold your head up high and continue to look into the camera without tears of shame streaming down your face?
I have put that all in the past, monkey saved me from that life, thankfully. So although i appreciate that question i would prefer to answer questions about problems you guys might be having rather then focus on the many problems of my troubled past.
Quote:
Dear Christina,
There is one guy and 10 girls. He is going to fuck them all. Each fuck session lasts 18 min. He needs 10 minutes to recuperate from the first two sessions. From the third session on, he needs an additional 7 minutues per girl to resume fucking.Its 12pm noon. How long will it take for him to fuck all 10 girls?
sounds like fun, the wording of this question can leave you with 2 different answers, but i will try and answer it the way i assume it was meant to be asked. It will take you 4 hours and 6 minuts, so she should be ready by 4.06 pm.
Quote:
Dear Christina,
Tickle your ass with a feather?
no
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41036 - 07/27/04 04:30 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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If i wasn't working for the monkey and knew everything about the monkey i would swear this is the monkey's second id used to stroke his ego , brandon iron's style. Lucky i know the monkey better then most.
Ahah
............................................................
Dear Christina,
Tickle your ass with a feather?
no
Why not dammit?
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#41039 - 07/27/04 06:35 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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Dear Christina, I don't like being teased by your photos and no acceptance of ass tickling, and another thing stay the hell away from Monkey's secreat stash of bananas as half of them are mine. 
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#41044 - 07/28/04 10:33 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Dear Christina, I have a recurring dream where I am standing over someone who has kneeled in front of me. I am not sure who it is at this point. I have a 45 pointed at their forehead. I pull the trigger and before the body hits the floor I realize it's smartt. Understanding the gravity of what I have done I know what my next move must be. I roll the body over carefully cover my johnson with a condom (he is brazilian) and begin to fuck the living shit out of the exit wound.  My question is: In what circumstances do you think it appropriate for a man to shave his pubes?
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#41045 - 07/28/04 07:16 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
Dear Christina,
Who is going to win the World Series this year? Dont let me down because I've got big money on a Dodgers v. Yankees series,if they get that far.
cubs in 6 over the red sox (yes thats right)
Quote:
Dear Christina,
What are your turn-ons,fetishes and will you ever do porn?
Nothing, nothing and no.
Quote:
Dear Christina,
I have a recurring dream where I am standing over someone who has kneeled in front of me. I am not sure who it is at this point. I have a 45 pointed at their forehead. I pull the trigger and before the body hits the floor I realize it's smartt. Understanding the gravity of what I have done I know what my next move must be. I roll the body over carefully cover my johnson with a condom (he is brazilian) and begin to fuck the living shit out of the exit wound.
My question is: In what circumstances do you think it appropriate for a man to shave his pubes?
First off i think i can speak for the majority of the baord and say we have all had that dream at one point or another, and to answer your question when it gets to be more then 2 inches in length it is nice to trim the hedges, when you go down on a woman its not nice to be head first into hair the same goes for us girls.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41046 - 07/28/04 07:57 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 04/16/04
Posts: 2415
Loc: On the Mia Rose bandwagon
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Dear Christina,
I thought about masturbating to your pics tonight. Would you be offended?
_________________________
" Bitch, not even a dumptruck full of Gucci bags would get me to do you. "- Gia Jordan response to pornactorforhire
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#41048 - 07/29/04 10:56 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Dear Christina, There has been a lot of talk on the board about people using several ID's. I was hoping you could shed some light on the subject. If Monseur is Brandon & Fester is Cleetus & Smelly Monkey is Smiling Arab & Pussy Power is Lord Byron and Rump Does that mean: Kyoto is Kryptic? Kami is Toelicker (both disappeared about the same time)? Wizard of Jizz is Swami? Any help you could give me would be appreciated. P.S. How much longer till your old enough for me fuck those great looking tits of yours.
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#41049 - 07/29/04 04:50 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
Dear Christina,
There has been a lot of talk on the board about people using several ID's. I was hoping you could shed some light on the subject.
If Monseur is Brandon
& Fester is Cleetus
& Smelly Monkey is Smiling Arab
& Pussy Power is Lord Byron and Rump
Does that mean:
Kyoto is Kryptic?
Kami is Toelicker (both disappeared about the same time)?
Wizard of Jizz is Swami?
Any help you could give me would be appreciated.
P.S. How much longer till your old enough for me fuck those great looking tits of yours.
Yes the multiply ids has seemed to have come in vogue on this board after everyone found out brandon irons had done it, always the trend setter a lot of people have start to follow in his foot steps, i hope this fad fades as no one is really fooling anyone else, everyone knows regular members posting styles. All the names mentioned above are those people, you have done your homework. I am totally disgusted with people pretending to be other people, its sick (pauses to think, and a little more, and a little more, it will come to you)
Te girls stay unfucked and covered, barely.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41051 - 07/30/04 02:02 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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That is the greatest picture in the history of photos taken throughout time. Thats brandon irons blue steel, the photographer goes " brandon give me sexy, the camera loves you" and thats what brandon gave him. I love that picture, brandon care to give us a breakdown of that photo and the shoot itself, love to hear it.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41053 - 08/01/04 04:17 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Dear christina , im having a problem trying to flatten the base of my workshop table, do you have any suggestions?. Thanks monkey.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41056 - 08/01/04 07:01 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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Chico, do you like Baseball better than Football?
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#41061 - 08/01/04 07:32 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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xxxporntalk fantasy football league. Okay now i have seen it all. I will just sit back and wait for the giant comet to hit the earth and end us all.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41062 - 08/01/04 08:09 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/20/03
Posts: 5256
Loc: CSW Wrestling - Gracie Academy
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#41063 - 08/02/04 12:51 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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chico, you must be far enough removed from it to forget how much football sucked to play 90% of the time-which was practice and games you didn't win. the ratio of pancaking people to running the same play 8 times because all running backs are stupid/jamming fingers and getting cleated/standing around isn't very good.
plus, every team ever assembled had the "practice hero" guy who never really made it off the scout/2nd teams, but would clip people when you were running plays in shells or to thud.kinda like bill romanowski, but with a 5.1 40 and bad hands, but still dangerous to knees.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#41064 - 08/02/04 05:20 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Dear Christina,
My dreams about fucking smartt’s exit wound are causing me to jerk off several times a day. I have noticed a painful swelling at the base of my cock and I was wondering if a change in lubes would counter act this? Should I switch to water, oil, or silicon based lubricant? Currently I am just using gun oil.
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#41066 - 08/02/04 09:51 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/20/03
Posts: 5256
Loc: CSW Wrestling - Gracie Academy
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Quote:
chico, you must be far enough removed from it to forget how much football sucked to play 90% of the time-which was practice and games you didn't win. the ratio of pancaking people to running the same play 8 times because all running backs are stupid/jamming fingers and getting cleated/standing around isn't very good.
plus, every team ever assembled had the "practice hero" guy who never really made it off the scout/2nd teams, but would clip people when you were running plays in shells or to thud.kinda like bill romanowski, but with a 5.1 40 and bad hands, but still dangerous to knees.
I was an outsidelinebacker and people did get hit. Practice did suck,but come gameday,it was worth it.Fortunately,we won the City Title twice when I was there. BTW, my 40 was a 4.6
_________________________
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#41067 - 08/02/04 10:27 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 04/16/04
Posts: 2415
Loc: On the Mia Rose bandwagon
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Dear Christina,
Do you offer anal on the first date?
_________________________
" Bitch, not even a dumptruck full of Gucci bags would get me to do you. "- Gia Jordan response to pornactorforhire
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#41071 - 08/03/04 11:28 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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That's the best position-I played weakside backer/TE and sometimes they'd put me as a kinda h-back. A legit 4.6 is impressive, I've run in the 4.6's but not reguarly-it's fast enough for college ball easily, but I'm about 195lbs at 6'2". I played lacrosse in college, but there's no way I could shed guards weighing 260 and benching 500lbs. And my high school team was average, losing games in november in the snow on torn ankle ligaments sucks, which was my last football memory and the source of my bitterness. little league ruled though.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#41075 - 08/10/04 07:27 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Stormy's Lawyer
Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 21
Loc: On top
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Dear Christina,
I only just started posting here, but I guess people already are giving me low ratings, I'm only 2 stars now and I know some people gave me 5s because I was a 5 the first couple days. I'm sad. How do I get more stars?
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#41077 - 08/10/04 08:18 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Stormy's Lawyer
Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 21
Loc: On top
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Cool, so this place is totally "Mean Girls." I'm really not that naturally bitchy, but that Smartt does seem like kind of a douchebag. I'll get right on it!
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#41080 - 09/09/04 11:37 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Dear Christina, Now that the awful crack ogre sammura is banned yet again will xxxpt ever get back to normal? PS I love your tig o bitties
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#41082 - 09/09/04 06:12 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 951
Loc: IL
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Dear Christina,
two questions for you.
1. are you a natural blonde?
2. does smartt smell like horse shit?
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#41084 - 09/14/04 12:05 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Dear Christina,
I see a tattoo peeking out from behind your panties (yes I am staring that closely). Can you tell me what it is?
Since you are already tatted and pierced up I was wondering when you will start your stripping/porn career?
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#41085 - 09/14/04 06:12 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
Dear Christina,
I see a tattoo peeking out from behind your panties (yes I am staring that closely). Can you tell me what it is?
Since you are already tatted and pierced up I was wondering when you will start your stripping/porn career?
Thanks for the question sweetie, its of a red chilli, because im hot and spicy.  . I don't have any real desire to strip or do porn, monkey likes the fact he is the only penis getting into the xtina canyon. Women are good though, if i was to do it i think i would be an all girl performer,
XXX OOO Xtina. I have enclosed a little picture of myself in my over the top tasteless blue top, hope you like.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41086 - 09/16/04 03:40 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Dear Christina,
Some say the monkey is Chico Wang, others say Fayner, and still more say Taylor Rain. You know the monkey well, will you tell us all? Please?
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#41088 - 09/16/04 02:14 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 3899
Loc: CO Springs
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Dude, say (s)he's not Taylor.
If so, take care of Bandit.
_________________________
you mean my days having fun while being fundamentally superior to you? - Jamesn
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#41092 - 09/16/04 06:25 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Whoremaster
Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 2723
Loc: A very dark inner place, join ...
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Christina, Christina
Well I never thought. That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught. We were just sitting in the back seat, just shootin the breeze. With her hair up in curlers and her pants to he knees.
Signed Just Married.
_________________________
'' Women are not people, they are devices built by our Lord Jesus Christ for our entertainment.'' Peter Griffin
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#41094 - 09/16/04 08:29 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Sorry guys, i live in florida and we had to haul ass out of there a few days ago, i was coming back from my practice with my new all girl pop rock group called the Christina and the kitty kats and as soon as i got home i saw my 7 brothers , sister, grandma and pa, and my mom all out the front with all out stuff packed and ready to go. I didn't even have time to get dressed, i have enclosed a picture of what i was wearing during 400000000 mile winds for 2 days. I think we might need to rethink the band's image and dress sense because i almost lost a nipple during the whole ordeal. As for the question posted above, its not really a question but marriage is a great thing, if you leave the door shut, her legs shut and your fly zipped, open marriages never work. Ask tommy lee. XXX OOO Xtina lead vocals. 
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41095 - 09/20/04 11:45 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Dear Christina,
Will all this hate on sammura take away hate from smarTTboy? Can this board keep this much hate up for very long? Will BGOL finally ban sammura as well?
Thanks
PS How much would it take to fuck your tits or just jerk off on them?
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#41099 - 09/20/04 07:24 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 04/16/04
Posts: 2415
Loc: On the Mia Rose bandwagon
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Dear Christina,
1. Whats your sexual preference? Are you into men? Women? Both?
2. When are you going to be in a more professional photo shoot? (the wrinkled bed sheet backdrop has got to go)
_________________________
" Bitch, not even a dumptruck full of Gucci bags would get me to do you. "- Gia Jordan response to pornactorforhire
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#41103 - 09/30/04 07:23 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 931
Loc: United States
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Dear Christina...will U Marry Me...LOL
_________________________
PORN.....I love this stuff
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#41104 - 10/01/04 03:54 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 3899
Loc: CO Springs
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Dear Christina, can I lick your feet?
_________________________
you mean my days having fun while being fundamentally superior to you? - Jamesn
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#41107 - 10/05/04 10:38 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Dear Christina,
I am glad to see with sammurra and swami gone the amount of hate aimed at smartt has ratcheted up to a really nice level on this board. This not only gives me a special feeling in my woody but also brings joy-joy feelings to my heart. I was wondering what steps would you recommend to raise the level of hate even more?
Thanks
PS More hot pics pleeeeeaaaaase!
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#41111 - 10/19/04 02:17 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 04/16/04
Posts: 2415
Loc: On the Mia Rose bandwagon
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Dear Christina,
Why the silent treatment on the board?
_________________________
" Bitch, not even a dumptruck full of Gucci bags would get me to do you. "- Gia Jordan response to pornactorforhire
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#41113 - 10/19/04 03:14 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Whoremaster
Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 2723
Loc: A very dark inner place, join ...
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Dear Christina,
Please let us know the release date of the CD. I'm all tingly in anticipation.
Thank you
Future Fan
_________________________
'' Women are not people, they are devices built by our Lord Jesus Christ for our entertainment.'' Peter Griffin
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#41115 - 05/05/05 11:31 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 05/05/04
Posts: 446
Loc: Los Angeles
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I have a question or two for you miss Christina. 1. What is your prediction on the Lockwood / Wankus fight? 2. Will I make it to heaven?
_________________________
Pariah
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#41116 - 05/05/05 11:37 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Cristina, this is Cytheria. I have real sensitive feet. Do you know a quick cure for plantars warts?
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#41118 - 05/05/05 11:43 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 1342
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Recently, while in L.A. for business, I stopped by the world famous Pink's for a hot dog and was accosted in an inappropriate sexual manner. As I was leaving, a strange looking chubby man with a fu manchu mustache, bleached hairtips, a red bandana and a sleeveless Dolphins shirt grabbed my crotch. Because I had four chili cheese dogs in my hand, I was unable to pry his hands loose. I was mortified and helpless. Before I could scream for help, the man jumped into a running car driven by a woman who sort of resembled Howie Long.
So my question is this; should I contact the authorities or just let it go? I feel the shame of telling my story to the police may be too much for me to handle. Please Christina, help me.
_________________________
"Bornyo sleeps under a bearskin that he killed and skinned when he was 5. He just stared the thing dead with mind bullets." - Floofin
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#41119 - 05/05/05 11:51 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
Recently, while in L.A. for business, I stopped by the world famous Pink's for a hot dog and was accosted in an inappropriate sexual manner. As I was leaving, a strange looking chubby man with a fu manchu mustache, bleached hairtips, a red bandana and a sleeveless Dolphins shirt grabbed my crotch. Because I had four chili cheese dogs in my hand, I was unable to pry his hands loose. I was mortified and helpless. Before I could scream for help, the man jumped into a running car driven by a woman who sort of resembled Howie Long.
So my question is this; should I contact the authorities or just let it go? I feel the shame of telling my story to the police may be too much for me to handle. Please Christina, help me.
Welcome to everyday of my life honey. Best to put your best foot forward and the worst mexican grab hand back. I would take it into my own hands if i was you, taser gun up, keep going back to the place where it happend around the same time the incident took place, these people like keep showing up at the scene of the crime, when you finally see him again, taser him in his family gift area, then as he is doubled over in pain, explain to him why you did it, like a dog that shits on the carpet, rub its nose it in and it knows not to do it again.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41120 - 05/06/05 12:23 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Christina, surely your last answer regarding incidents in a Taco Bell warranted a picture. Could you please post another?
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#41121 - 05/06/05 10:46 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Christina i have a question. What is a parent to do when your 16 year old girl comes to you asking for a $1600 prom dress?. Is there anyway you can make your little girl happy without having to spend that amount for a dress that will be used once?.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41122 - 05/06/05 10:52 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Funny you should ask monkey. My father and i had similar problems when i was younger. He taught me a great trick to please me and his wallet. Around the first time i first asked him for a dress for my prom the JonBenet Ramsey thing had happened. Now my father knew where they laid her body to rest , he went to the grave site the night before my prom and the next morning i had a beautiful beauty pageant like dress, it was a few sizes too small and gave me the extra motivation to lose those few extra pounds before the big night, so a few hours in the bathroom and i was looking fabulous and had the dress of my dreams. So i suggest you go to random funerals and do some window shopping, mark down the name and then come back at night with and hunt down the grave. 
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41123 - 05/07/05 09:40 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Human Garbage
Registered: 07/05/04
Posts: 1545
Loc: In the tree outside Gia Jordan...
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Christina, did you have some work done under the hood? Your tits seem to have gotten bigger.
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If cum was concrete, Quasarman would have a four lane freeway going down his throat. - pariah
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#41125 - 05/11/05 05:45 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Dear Christina, I am thankful for many things. The most important being Dave Chapelle. Not only has he made it fashionable for me to call another man a bitch, but he has made it possible for white guys to use the word "nigger" (that's right, I said it).  What are you thankful for?
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#41126 - 10/23/05 07:09 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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(sorry this is monkey, i had to edit out her last name, she sometimes forgets what world we live in, kyoto still lingers in the shadows)
Hello boys, sorry for the long break, i just had my first child, hes a healthy boy jermajesty paige frankston tr*****. I'm sure you guys have a whole load of problems that you might need help answering, im all ears and so is jermajesty, ain't you (wow he just spit up, so cute  )
I know i look a little heavier, this was taken 6 weeks after giving birth, thank god for billy blanks.
Edited by smelly monkey (10/23/05 07:10 AM)
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41127 - 10/23/05 09:17 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Congratulations Christina,
Breastfeeding or formula for jermajesty?
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#41128 - 10/23/05 10:53 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 1342
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Hello again Christina. You look wonderful and congratulations.
To get right to it, I'm very conflicted. You see, I've recently acquired a taste for rough sex. I never thought I could be that kind of person, and quite frankly, I'm a little embarrassed. I guess watching all those Brandon Iron videos brought out the beast in me, lol.
My friends say violence that occurs during sex is okay. I want to believe them, and I think I do, but I just wanted a woman's opinion before I proceed.
So what I'm really asking is this: If I kick my girl in the face with a pair of steel-toe Doc Martens while she's naked and on her knees in front of me, that would be okay, right?
Thanks in advance for your words of wisdom.
_________________________
"Bornyo sleeps under a bearskin that he killed and skinned when he was 5. He just stared the thing dead with mind bullets." - Floofin
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#41129 - 10/24/05 06:43 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Dear Christina,
I know we have spoken about this in the past, but I think it's worth rehashing so here goes. You know the Monkey very well can you tell me his identity? I am actually hoping that he is none other than our midget mod Gen Padova that way when the truth is finally revealed jrv and smartt will kill themselves by gargling broken glass. TIA for your help in this matter and congratulations on the blessed event.
P. S. better not tell maged.
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#41131 - 10/25/05 04:12 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Stormy's Lawyer
Registered: 10/24/05
Posts: 27
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watching bradon's videos would give you a taste for more than just 'rough' sex lol
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#41132 - 02/28/06 11:18 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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bump
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#41136 - 08/22/06 10:33 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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#41140 - 05/09/07 03:47 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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Hey! I remember this thread! I should've signed up earlier for this one.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#41141 - 06/25/07 11:14 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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I think Christina's selling T-shirts.
I'll take two.
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#41143 - 07/13/07 08:22 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 1024
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#41144 - 07/14/07 10:25 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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Krochus, your avatar rocks but your blue box doesn't.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#566374 - 09/09/12 02:00 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you
[Re: Bornyo]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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I have gone back and forth on how to feel about this, and i've decided that its salvageable, the issue her is her thighs (obviously), but her face is in good shape, there doesn't appear to be any excessive drug or alcohol damage, cheeks aren't sunken, so its either a bad diet (possible) or a loose kid or two (unfortunately this is more than likely), its just a firming up job, a thigh master for an hour a night 3-4 times a week for 3-4 months and doing an hour or so on a treadmill a few times a week should get her into form.
I say buy if the price is right, she has some life yet.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#566389 - 09/09/12 05:02 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you
[Re: Smelly Monkey]
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J.B.
Unregistered
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Somewhat off topic, but it came up in conversation recently: This is about what I'd expect Ceara's ballooned into. Anyway, ain't no amount of toning going to fix that without some plastic surgeon getting rid of the excess skin, and that inflates the price beyond reason.
Edited to add: And what's with that... ummm... blotch on her right side, between the fat folds? Is that a tat or some South American attempt at hiding an appendectomy scar?
Edited by J.B. (09/09/12 05:16 AM)
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#654635 - 11/12/21 02:10 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you
[Re: Smelly Monkey]
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 01/13/20
Posts: 89
Loc: EST
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Stumbled on this today, and thought I'd seen her mentioned here.
Christinamodel does G-G softcore porn.
http://en.nyuu.info/v/s://www.youjizz.com/videos/christina-model---tub-37556811.html/title/Christina%20Model%20-%20Tub%20[30:11x360p]
Below that video will be several other of her videos
Edited by CharlieYup (11/12/21 02:12 PM)
_________________________
If I give up drinking, smoking, and fatty foods, I can add ten years to my life. Trouble is, I'll add it to the wrong end.
P. J. O'Rourke
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, I refer you to this thread:
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