I've met Alex Dane but not Dane Cook. Met Alex Sanders but not Colonel Sanders. Watched Alex Rodriguez at bat and now Alex Love comes to the www.loadmymouth.com playing field. Will she hit a home run or....OH SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LETS SEE HER!

Again with the nails, these girls must be really fucking dumb, you're going to be in a porno, take 20 bucks put it on the side and get your nails did, I guess it's true that teh whore are stoopid.

Forgive her. She spends all her time preening that sweet virgin butthole. I got to spread those cheeks personally. I don't care what you think, sir. You would wear her sphincter on your small finger and redefine "pinky ring" any day of the week.

She is digesting my sperm and I will defend her honor until I am pooped out of her system. Then she is no longer mine and I must disown her. It is as nature intends it to be. Unless she ate a bunch of eggs and we make a baby in her stomach, my load was shot purely for unadulterated, selfish, indulgent pleasure.

It was one more giant bounce on an orgasmic trampoline that catapulted me one inch closer to God. I will shake hands with you soon, Lord. I am reaching out right now. Please take good care of Anastasia Blue, Missy and Julie Robbins.

Thank you for all your Creation: beautiful mouths, succulent assholes, sweetly-perfumed feet, sopping-wet pussies that reek of anticipation, thongs, 18th birthdays, and minimum wage laws.

@Brandon: I have no comment on the girl after seeing that retarded tattoo.

Please paint that room a different color. It will only take you a few hours and interior paint isn't particularly expensive.

You could probably even get one of your new girls to help. Hell, I would help you paint that room if I lived anywhere near by.

Just a suggestion. I know you're fond on the mustard dungeon but it doesn't really compliment the look of anyone you happen to be photographing/shooting.

I DID paint it last week. I chose light Dijon yellow with gold flecks. Stop looking at the paint. You've been watching too many home decorating shows on the Women's Network.

Yellow is held in high esteem in this industry. Each time a woman swallows cum in front of those walls, it is a tribute to Max Hardcore's "loveseat."

Fair enough.

And I wasn't even picking on you about it.

Really, I am only worried for the health of the models. I need to get fellated every day. Painting would create fumes that might get one of these tea-totalers high. I would not want any girl to develop a huffing addiction just because of me.

I will loan them and you organic vapors masks.

How is that going to help these women swallow? I'm not kidding. My models do not take any drugs that I know of. I am worried they might get tipsy....drowsy....not knowing where they are.

What if a date rapist broke into my studio at the exact moment the woman lost consciousness, tied me up, and had his way with her for several hours? I cannot take that kind of risk, sir. I simply can't.

that is your (very funny) way of saying you don't want to paint. Eh?

All the furniture in the room would have to come out. Honestly, the chair cannot be moved now. It is stuck to the floor because of all the cum, spit, drool, phlegm,and occasional anal leakage that has occured. I'm still fighting my downstairs neighbor's lawsuit concerning the large cum-coloured stain on his ceiling. "Not mine," I said. "Maybe you have termites" was my defense.....nailed it. Luckily, I got Judge Ito. If he isn't going to convict O.J. of murdering his ex-wife, I don't think I have much to worry about.

Terminte defense. Works every time.

Brandon, drop cloths.

Actually, in a strange turn of events, the scene was stolen early this morning. It was shopped as a celebrity sex tape to Red Light District. Apparently, I am quite famous in Japan. Red Light is making a fortune and I am fucked over....again.

Even the Gods mock my pain.

Should have got Alexis Love instead...

Her skin looks greasy enough, but why are the whites of her eyes so clear? They're definitely not bloodshot enough for my taste. FAIL.

As the tattoo above her ovary proclaims, "Love."
Sometimes all it takes is a tattooed actress to remind you of what's important.

I love fake blondes. And Alex Love definetly fills the need!!