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#336835 - 06/08/08 08:34 PM
Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/07/06
Posts: 4268
Loc: Portland
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Erika:  Andrea Wild:  Kaylee Hunter:  Morgan:  Missy Grahem:  Sophia Layne:  Alexis Blaze:  Kate:  Chii (prounounced "Shy"): 
_________________________
"My people (the real Americans- descended from the original Angle-Saxon pioneers)"-Coke S.
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#336836 - 06/08/08 09:14 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 07/09/06
Posts: 2362
Loc: St. Louis
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I have no complaints with Andrea Wild, but you are right on target with the rest of your post.
_________________________
"Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken."
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#336837 - 06/08/08 09:18 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 06/05/05
Posts: 4468
Loc: Great America
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#336838 - 06/08/08 09:19 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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#336840 - 06/09/08 02:28 AM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
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There is no such thing as a bad blowjob. Learn it. Live it. Love it.
For those who can't abide by these 3 simple rules, the July 20th, 2008 update for www.loadmymouth.com will make you blow chunks rather than your load. I set a new standard with this one that makes me believe I no longer have any shame.
After July 20th, I will admit defeat and let the ugly stick hit all in its path. Until then, I invite you all to go fuck yourselves.
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#336842 - 06/09/08 05:18 AM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 06/09/03
Posts: 5092
Loc:
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Quote:
Quote:
There is no such thing as a bad blowjob.
Too much teeth and biting.
Metal braces
_________________________
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Mild Mannered Minion
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I feel the pull on the rope, let me off at the rainbow
-Anyway, Genesis
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#336843 - 06/09/08 07:21 AM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
There is no such thing as a bad blowjob.
So that's why you keep hiring Knox...
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#336846 - 06/09/08 05:46 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 11/23/04
Posts: 663
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GAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  Doesn't one need to meet some sort of minimum requirement to get into porn these days? It used to be the girls were uniformly good (or at worst, not too homely)looking but you had to take their scuzzy boyfriends as part of the deal. Now anyone with a pulse can become a porn "actress". Between the pictures above and that creature from the Christian XXX thread, porn has become a freak show. Brandon, with all the beauties you've appeared with over the years, how can you even keep it up for dog meat like this???? 
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#336848 - 06/09/08 08:23 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
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I don't want to get into any big debate over who is hot and who is not. I truly, honestly, and sincerely appreciate interviewing young ladies who are willing to swallow cum. That's it. That's all. I love hearing about their backgrounds, their experiences, and how they wound up in front of the camera. I doubt if I will ever get tired of this and have paid my dues for long enough to give me the right to do what gets me off. Some people would say www.crackwhoreconfessions.com would fail, too....but it doesn't. True reality is a turn-on in all its brutally nasty forms. As long as the women with whom I work are cool with me, I want to hear their stories and enjoy my time with them. Most will not go on to careers in the business but some will. I've shot Monica Sweetheart, Brianna Love, Gianna, Mia Rose, Natasha Nice, Mackenzie Pierce, Chelsie Rae, Raveness, Bobbi Starr, Riley Shy, Faye Valentine, Bree Olson, Lexi Belle, Jenna Presley, Alektra Blue, Jasmine Tame, Sasha Grey, Amber Rayne, Maya Hills, Rebeca Linares, Delilah Strong, Courtney Simpson, Faith, Jamie Huxley, Tiffany Rayne, Karina Kay, Sasha Knox, Courtney Cummz, Venus, Sharka Blue, and many, many more.
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#336849 - 06/09/08 09:53 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Quote:
...I've shot Monica Sweetheart, Brianna Love, Gianna, Mia Rose, Natasha Nice, Mackenzie Pierce, Chelsie Rae, Raveness, Bobbi Starr, Riley Shy, Faye Valentine, Bree Olson, Lexi Belle, Jenna Presley, Alektra Blue, Jasmine Tame, Sasha Grey, Amber Rayne, Maya Hills, Rebeca Linares, Delilah Strong, Courtney Simpson, Faith, Jamie Huxley, Tiffany Rayne, Karina Kay, Sasha Knox, Courtney Cummz, Venus, Sharka Blue, and many, many more.
That's a pretty good list for CAL-OSHA to start with.
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#336850 - 06/09/08 10:04 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
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My name is Brandon, not Cal.
Also, whenever I am in doubt as to the status of a woman, I simply read her tats:
I don't want you to have to rip me a new one if I make a mistake.
I simply want to go to work and relieve some stress. You should try it.
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#336851 - 06/10/08 08:09 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 11/14/04
Posts: 1460
Loc: Down there
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Seems like chicks will do anything to get herpes nowadays. 
_________________________
I like me some Gia'd Jerkins.
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#336854 - 06/11/08 12:55 AM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 01/02/04
Posts: 698
Loc: CA
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Quote:
I don't want to get into any big debate over who is hot and who is not...
Dude, do what your going to do, but look at it this way. Back a few years ago when Lexus was building it's brand, all of the parts said Toyota on them. It made every Lexus owner (myself included) think they got ripped off. What did Toyota do? They stamped all the fucking parts Lexus so buyers would go 'I'm so cool driving a $50K Lexus' instead of 'I got screwed paying $50k for a Toyota.'
You have paid your dues. At this point you should be looking at quality, not quantity. Learn it, live it, love it. If the average jerk-off (consumer) has to decide how he's going to spend twenty-some bucks a month, he's going for the site with the hotter chicks. By banging Plain-Jane skanks any Joe Blow can pick up in a bar after a twelve-pak, all you are doing is reducing your value, marketability and income.
It's basic business 101...
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#336855 - 06/11/08 02:16 AM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
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I am a pervert, not a businessman. When the iron says "Strike!" I listen to it.
I also listen to stats like reorders. I'm doing more than fine, according to Jeff. I listen to the guys at Braincash when they say the sites convert in the top 5 of the 50 on the network.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. Biology tells me to spread as much seed as possible.
Am I the only one who thinks that Missy Graham is a hot piece of ass??
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#336857 - 06/11/08 05:10 AM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
You have paid your dues. At this point you should be looking at quality, not quantity. Learn it, live it, love it. If the average jerk-off (consumer) has to decide how he's going to spend twenty-some bucks a month, he's going for the site with the hotter chicks. By banging Plain-Jane skanks any Joe Blow can pick up in a bar after a twelve-pak, all you are doing is reducing your value, marketability and income.
It's basic business 101...
To continue with this line of reasoning, the average jerk-off probably doesn't know as much about porn as the average XPT poster. You've been around long enough that he's probably heard your name somewhere, though he doesn't know that much about your product. On that basis alone, he decides to give one of your sites a look. He sees quality whores, he needs to look no further and you've cemented the deal. he sees some of the skanks above, his money's going to someone else.
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#336861 - 06/11/08 05:18 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 11/14/04
Posts: 1460
Loc: Down there
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_________________________
I like me some Gia'd Jerkins.
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#336862 - 06/11/08 05:38 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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@
Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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That bitch is tore up BI... Not a bad face though.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#336863 - 06/11/08 05:54 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 03/07/06
Posts: 1059
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She is probably hotter than any woman you have ever had. Shut up and go away.
_________________________
Honestly, I don't know...I'm torn. We haven't talked since AVN (other than the hearing in February)- Eric on Bree Olson
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#336865 - 06/11/08 06:52 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 03/07/06
Posts: 1059
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You are probably going to tell this story to your dungeons and dragons friends aren't you?
What level are you and how many hit points?
_________________________
Honestly, I don't know...I'm torn. We haven't talked since AVN (other than the hearing in February)- Eric on Bree Olson
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#336867 - 06/11/08 07:42 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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@
Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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How bout you two stop "accidentaly" dropping the soap around each other and stfu.
You fucken queers have inexplicably decided that outing each other as terminal six sided die grabbing ballbag man-gropers might make you socially acceptable.
Lawl...
Circle the daisy chain faggots.. Hells come to town.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#336868 - 06/11/08 08:41 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 03/07/06
Posts: 1059
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Tell the truth, you love the attention don't you? You like that anybody is actually communicating with you. It's not our fault that nobody loves you.
Eat another bowl of ice cream and have a good cry. It's just going to be the same thing tomorrow.
_________________________
Honestly, I don't know...I'm torn. We haven't talked since AVN (other than the hearing in February)- Eric on Bree Olson
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#336869 - 06/11/08 08:42 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9181
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Quote:
terminal six sided die grabbing ballbag man-gropers might make you socially acceptable.
Shit, we're gonna have to start collecting phrases like this. 
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#336872 - 06/12/08 12:22 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Broccoli Buy Piss Mop
Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 10/25/05
Posts: 1802
Loc: Getting pissed on
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Quote:
Not even close..
Ok then. You're a Warcraft guy.
Hey that's cool. Nothing wrong with that.
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#336874 - 06/12/08 07:21 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/05
Posts: 4726
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
Quote:
I am a pervert, not a businessman. When the iron says "Strike!" I listen to it.
I also listen to stats like reorders. I'm doing more than fine, according to Jeff. I listen to the guys at Braincash when they say the sites convert in the top 5 of the 50 on the network.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. Biology tells me to spread as much seed as possible.
Am I the only one who thinks that Missy Graham is a hot piece of ass??
WTF is wrong with the thighs? Looks like this pig has stretch marks all the way to her knees.
I thought they were bruises, they look purplish.
All a girl needs to look good BI is a mani/pedi. I thought that was automatic when you do a scene? Ya know a bath, a douche, a mani/pedi, waxed brows, shaved pussy/ass, brushed teeth, just the basics.
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#336875 - 06/12/08 07:30 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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i always feel like brandon's girls need to go outback and ran through a pressure washer before they get on camera.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#336876 - 06/12/08 07:41 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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Quote:
Isn't this just a statement about the type of chicks getting into porn these days?
Guys, these are wanna-be whores who are willing to swallow nut to gain their 15 minutes of smut fame. With looks only a mother could love, who's to say they're going any further in the industry than Brandon's yellow-walled studio/apartment?
If it weren't for 10 tons of makeup on the faces of 50% of porn whores, I think you'd find that many of them look the same underneath.
Quote:
If they ain't got open festering sores on their mouth...
Give it time. If not from Brandon, Steve Holmes will be happy to accommodate. After all, Mia lasted what? 2 years, and she's done performing. Whorlary Scott is still going strong, even if only a contract whore now.
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#336877 - 06/12/08 08:45 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/05
Posts: 4726
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
i always feel like brandon's girls need to go outback and ran through a pressure washer before they get on camera.
So glad Im not alone always criticizing his girls, they always look like they need a loofah for the first layer to come off, always, always fucking dirty. Pressure washer is perfect, either that or send then thru a car wash. 
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#336880 - 06/13/08 12:14 AM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 11/14/04
Posts: 1460
Loc: Down there
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Herpe boy fucks anything with a hairy back.
_________________________
I like me some Gia'd Jerkins.
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#336881 - 06/13/08 01:14 AM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
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Biff, meet Limp Willie. You two have a lot in common. Maybe you should go out, have a drink, and be angry at all the people in the bar enjoying themselves.
BAWWWWW HAAAHHHHH HAAHHHHHH!!!!
Keep scowling, boys, and don't forget to wag your fingers in a VERY disapproving manner. That's important. You've really slowed me down. I was only able to shoot 6 updates this week. Please ease up on me. I can't (snicker) take it anymore!! Mercy!! Mercy!!! 
Limp Willie: You do, uh, realize that your omnipotence as moderator of one corner of a porn message board evaporates quicker than your fajita-fuelled farts? Your legacy will be a bunch of meaningless, inconsequential rants, sport.
I'm going to go work on the 400th update for www.loadmymouth.com now.
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#336884 - 06/13/08 12:27 PM
Re: Brandon Irons Skank Reliquary
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Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
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Dr. Willie: Please list the 5 strains. Spelling counts, too, Mr. Magoo, so don't try to fake it. I should be the expert on the subject but I defer to your judgment because I honestly didn't know there were 5 strains.
Biff: You're boring. You hopscotch from STDs to somehow making it a putdown that I pay for some fine onscreen acting. That's bizarre to me. You go to a restaurant, you pay for a meal. You go to a car dealer, you pay for a car. You enjoy time with a woman, you pay her to show your appreciation.
By extension, Larry Flynt and Hugh Hefner must be bigger chumps, right? I mean, look at all that money those suckas had to pay for women to take their clothes off.
Just be honest with yourself and delve into the deep end (if there is one) of your fragile psyche to find out what bothers you about this whole thing. You don't stick with one line of putdowns, sir, and this concerns me. You vascillate....and not very well, I might add. Yes, we know your thoughts immediately went towards Vaseline and all the 5-finger-fun you've had with that Costco-sized jar beside your single bed. Focus, man. Focus!
I would stay and argue but I have to go to "work" now. Be like Ralph Wiggum and eat some paste. Share with Limp Willie if you feel like it. You can both take mouthfuls and gross each other out like kids as you play Load My Mouth. First one to swallow wins!
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