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#233998 - 04/04/07 04:12 PM
WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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Dude, you made it. Now what was the plan you had again? I deleted the PM.
Congratulations on staying the course. And I noticed that I'm now Human Garbage. How appropriate. If he hadn't gone on vacation, The Fatman would've needed a newly invented category about now.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#233999 - 04/04/07 04:13 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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congrats. i think you should be allowed to ban william hyde for 24 hours without anyone screaming censorship.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#234000 - 04/04/07 04:14 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Demon Spawn
Registered: 02/11/07
Posts: 3073
Loc: cleanup
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_________________________
"When you're up to your ass in alligators, it's hard to remember that you set out to drain the swamp" -- HST
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#234002 - 04/04/07 04:29 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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"Download Diva"
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#234003 - 04/04/07 04:31 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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#234006 - 04/04/07 09:45 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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Congrats, oh holy one.
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#234011 - 04/06/07 10:29 AM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 01/27/07
Posts: 775
Loc: Snottsdale, Arizona
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Congratulations Willie!
_________________________
I love cock and balls.
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#234012 - 04/06/07 10:38 AM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9180
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Quote:
Congratulations Willie!
I'm going to toss you from the site instead of Hyde, douchebag.
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#234014 - 04/06/07 12:58 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 03/27/07
Posts: 46
Loc: Gary, IN
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Willie, Congratulations on becoming a Porn Jesus. Which is a lot more useful than being THE Jesus. Lousy Hippie son of mine.
_________________________
Thirty Three Hundred Years since the Ten Comandments and you people are still fucking it up.
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#234015 - 04/06/07 05:29 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 481
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My mom told me that Jesus cries when I touch myself. But why is he even watching? Pervert.
Anyway, he only got where is his because of his dad.
_________________________
[The movie business] is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There is also a negative side. - Hunter S. Thompson
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#234016 - 04/06/07 05:49 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 03/27/07
Posts: 46
Loc: Gary, IN
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Don't remind me. I've been kicking myself for the last 2,000 years. I thought the sign over the door would look great: God & Son, Inc. He's been nothing buit a disappointment, I tell you.
_________________________
Thirty Three Hundred Years since the Ten Comandments and you people are still fucking it up.
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#234017 - 04/06/07 06:13 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 481
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It's his work ethic I question. Busiest weekend of the year, and he just wanders off and disappears for three days.
"Where were you?"
"I was dead."
"And? You couldn't call? Send an email? Here we are working our asses off for this 'comeback' of yours, and you are off the fucking reservation!"
_________________________
[The movie business] is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There is also a negative side. - Hunter S. Thompson
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#234018 - 04/06/07 06:24 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 03/27/07
Posts: 46
Loc: Gary, IN
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Please. You should've seen him around the office. Couldn't even answer the Prayer line right. Then one day... ::POOF:: He up and disappears. Not a word, No note. Nothing. Finally, after a couple of centuries, I get a call. He had to go "Find Himself," he says. He's living on a commune and can I send him some money? Damn Hippie. I know it's my fault. I spoiled him too much. Gave him anything he wanted. But hey, it's kinda hard not to when you're God.
_________________________
Thirty Three Hundred Years since the Ten Comandments and you people are still fucking it up.
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#234019 - 04/06/07 07:34 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 481
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And this deal with taking his birthday off every year! I know, it's his birthday, but medammit we do 30% of our annual business on that ONE FUCKING DAY, and where is he? Throwing down ducats in Vegas with that whore he is so infatuated with, and we have to bring in this Santa Claus clown to fill in.
You do know what "Santa" is an acronym for, don't you?
That's right: "ant ass".
Yeah, I threw in an extra "s". I'm the fucking messiah, what are you going to do about it?
_________________________
[The movie business] is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There is also a negative side. - Hunter S. Thompson
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#234020 - 04/06/07 07:51 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 03/27/07
Posts: 46
Loc: Gary, IN
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Quote:
Yeah, I threw in an extra "s". I'm the fucking messiah, what are you going to do about it?
Laugh my ass off, of course. I haven't worked a Christmas since he turned Hippie. Although I do stop by Rome to catch Benedict's schtick. I love the funny hats. After all these years, that gag never gets old.
So you want to be the new Messiah? It's about time I filled that position, since JC doesn't want to do it. Tell you what: Send a PM to St. Peter with your CV and references. He handles all the personnel decisions, now that I'm semi-retired. I think we could use a man of your caliber.
_________________________
Thirty Three Hundred Years since the Ten Comandments and you people are still fucking it up.
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#234021 - 04/06/07 10:30 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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Fuck religion.
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#234022 - 04/06/07 10:43 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 03/27/07
Posts: 46
Loc: Gary, IN
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Couldn't Agree More, Jack. These numbnuts have been twisting my words for 5,000 years. Not a fun one in the bunch. I tried to get rid of them once, but I ended up flooding the place. Oh well, I know where they're going. 
_________________________
Thirty Three Hundred Years since the Ten Comandments and you people are still fucking it up.
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#234023 - 04/07/07 04:30 AM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 07/30/06
Posts: 1712
Loc: at the end of the longest line
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Late congrats, Willie.
Keep on catching whores/pimps in lies and moments of stupidity, aggravating Lackwood and Hyde to no end, and all the other stuff.
_________________________
Twitter.com/degraderzim
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#234025 - 04/07/07 04:59 AM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 03/27/07
Posts: 46
Loc: Gary, IN
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Meh. You're not so bad yourself, for a pornographer. 
_________________________
Thirty Three Hundred Years since the Ten Comandments and you people are still fucking it up.
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#234027 - 04/07/07 10:02 AM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 03/27/07
Posts: 46
Loc: Gary, IN
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I can assure you, Calvin, that ain't me. I gave up the fire-and-brimstone after many years of anger management therapy. And I was gonna hire you as the new Messiah, remember? As for casting scenes, I'm Semi-Retired now, trying to work on my golf game. But If I was casting, I'd certainly be able to find a less stanky skank than Hillary. After all, I may be semi-retired, but I'm still God.
_________________________
Thirty Three Hundred Years since the Ten Comandments and you people are still fucking it up.
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#234029 - 04/07/07 11:10 AM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Demon Spawn
Registered: 02/11/07
Posts: 3073
Loc: cleanup
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Attachments
225147-logo.gif (5 downloads)
_________________________
"When you're up to your ass in alligators, it's hard to remember that you set out to drain the swamp" -- HST
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#234030 - 04/07/07 11:59 AM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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hyde, i'm going to overuse that frost poem and say you're at a crossroads. do you want to be a generative poster or do you want to be a bit-character that pops in like the mailman on a sitcom from time to time? you're not an idiot, but you've dug yourself into an idiot's role of a poster who doesn't do anything extraneous of snipe at willie. look at the scoreboard, you're losing and it's not because he's an oppressive-mod, it's because people don't ascribe much value to someone grinding an axe with one person like a broken record. think about which is a better post-a catty picture in response to your tormentor or the jenna-divorce post. it's an easy choice for me, one has content, the other's a picture. Quote:
Quote:
Late congrats, Willie.
Keep on catching whores/pimps in lies and moments of stupidity, aggravating Lackwood and Hyde to no end, and all the other stuff.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#234031 - 04/07/07 03:19 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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I like William's posts where he actually says something. When he just sticks his head over the parapet, fires off a quick round and ducks back down, he becomes no better than the delightful Renfield.
It would be nice if people who were actually intelligent drove this board more, created more posts and engaged rather than just throw the occasional, "+1" or a JPEG into the mix.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#234034 - 04/07/07 03:42 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 481
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Quote:
Quote:
Yeah, I threw in an extra "s". I'm the fucking messiah, what are you going to do about it?
Laugh my ass off, of course. I haven't worked a Christmas since he turned Hippie. Although I do stop by Rome to catch Benedict's schtick. I love the funny hats. After all these years, that gag never gets old.
So you want to be the new Messiah? It's about time I filled that position, since JC doesn't want to do it. Tell you what: Send a PM to St. Peter with your CV and references. He handles all the personnel decisions, now that I'm semi-retired. I think we could use a man of your caliber.
Took a while to update this thing, seriously, it's been since the Middle Ages:
The Lord
Objective
My objective is to draw on my professional experiences and enrich a dynamic and progressive workplace.
Experience
0-6 Days - Cosmic Void - Nothingness
Startup Solutions Manager
Used limited resources to create a rich multi-textural business environment.
Improved integrated human resources potential by creating a system of internal management capable of governing the sounds issuing from neck parts of humans.
Took bold steps to overcome inequalities in the workplace by making difficult choices about how many different types of human reproductive organs there should be. Hovered on three, decided on two for efficiency's sake.
Oversaw large-scale construction projects and the implementation of turnkey solutions in real-world situations.
8 Days-1938 AD - Celestial Empyrean - Heaven
Chief Executive Officer
During tenure witnessed record employee growth from none to everyone.
Weathered a major management shakeup that saw a corporate split and the departure of several trusted executives.
Annual profits exactly equal GDP of all nations combined.
Excellent employee retirement packages for all levels of workers (some restrictions, although things can generally be worked out at the employee's request).
Saw excellent growth in North and South America from about 1600 AD to present and managed to beat out several competitors.
1939-1945 - Celestial Retreat - Spiral Arm, Galaxy 435-32
Board Chair
Managed a six-year executive retreat handling an exclusive client list.
Reports from COO King of Kings indicate things ran smoothly back at the home office during my absence.
Humans have jets. Pretty neat stuff!
1946-Present - Celestial Empyrean - Heaven
Chief Executive Officer
Human exports to moon rise exponentially.
Oversaw creation of information technology department and subsequent upgrades. Dramatically more efficient than tablet-based data storage.
Integrated automation initiative streamlines operations and concentrates earning potential in productivity sectors.
Despite conflicting reports in North American, European and Middle Eastern markets, brand loyalty exceeds centennial expectations.
Education
1993-1995 - ITT Technical Institute - Charlotte, NC
Associates degree in Computing.
Received top honors in MS Word and MS Money.
Designed a computer RPG called "Blood Goblet" with EGA graphics.
Interests
Flooding things, meteors, filicide, honey pots, salt pillars, epidemiology.
_________________________
[The movie business] is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There is also a negative side. - Hunter S. Thompson
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#234035 - 04/07/07 03:47 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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Calvin, you missed out his guest appearances on TV shows as well as sitting for portraits during the Renaissance. I don't know if they were classed as taxable income, though, but WillieD can probably advise the Big Guy on that one.
Grizz, much more like it!
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#234036 - 04/07/07 03:55 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 481
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I considered throwing in The Immaculate Reception and the 1985 Villanova Wildcats, but I don't want to encourage any more of those damn "Please let us kick the living shit out of Michigan today!" prayers.
_________________________
[The movie business] is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There is also a negative side. - Hunter S. Thompson
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#234037 - 04/07/07 04:24 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 03/27/07
Posts: 46
Loc: Gary, IN
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OK Calvin, you sold me. You're hired. You are now, officially, the New Messiah, with all the rights, priviliges and immunities attendant thereunto. Just make sure that there's always some kind of bullshit job available for my good-for-nothing Hippie Son, IF he ever gets his shit together. Put him in sales, or, hell, make him the fucking janitor for all I care. Just leave him something. Oh, and the other thing: Never wake me before Noon, unless I have an early Tee Time. Trust me on this; plagues have been known to happen if I get up too early.
_________________________
Thirty Three Hundred Years since the Ten Comandments and you people are still fucking it up.
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#234038 - 04/07/07 08:25 PM
Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 02/02/06
Posts: 911
Loc: cobra on my left, leopard on m...
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Quote:
hyde, i'm going to overuse that frost poem and say you're at a crossroads.
do you want to be a generative poster or do you want to be a bit-character that pops in like the mailman on a sitcom from time to time?
you're not an idiot, but you've dug yourself into an idiot's role of a poster who doesn't do anything extraneous of snipe at willie.
look at the scoreboard, you're losing and it's not because he's an oppressive-mod, it's because people don't ascribe much value to someone grinding an axe with one person like a broken record.
think about which is a better post-a catty picture in response to your tormentor or the jenna-divorce post. it's an easy choice for me, one has content, the other's a picture.
Quote:
Quote:
Late congrats, Willie.
Keep on catching whores/pimps in lies and moments of stupidity, aggravating Lackwood and Hyde to no end, and all the other stuff.
You're a smart guy James. But I think you ascribe a little more importance to your role here than I do to mine. Which in your case is actually a benefit to XPT, because you've actually got the humor and wit to make your posts sound like something more than empty vitriole. As for me, I'll never be more than a "bit player", because I really don't fancy the board for more than passing entertainment in the wee hours. In fact, if I had the will power to just keep my mouth shut, I wouldn't be more than a lurker. As for "losing" or being "tormented"... I don't know what it is I'm supposed to have "lost" [?], and I certainly don't feel particularly tormented. But hey... if that's the way you guys wanna characterise it, be my guest.
And for the record, I don't hate Willie or anyone else. I know you guys like to think there's some kinda blood feud going on. But the truth is, I just think the guy's fuckin' hilarious, and I like seeing him get all pissed off. That's the only reason I take shots at him... just for a laugh.
But as the kids say, "Ya know... whatever."
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!! [even to you Christ-hating Jews]
_________________________
"We had part of a Slinky - but I straightened it."
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