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#103778 - 05/30/05 06:27 AM
Message to Teagans baby :time to self abort
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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I feel bad for the kid and he isn't even born yet. He is coming into a no win situation, there is no chance for him at all. I figured theres a 30% shot if teagan managed to get knocked up by some stock broker type who understands the responsibility of having a kid but its been confirmed that its with someone you expect to see on a campus invasion video, in fact id go as far as saying the kid wished it was someone on the campus invasion video, the guy makes fayner look like the face of responsibility. Teagan finds this winner to be the first of many daddy's to her children, hi im typical frat boy and im 18 months away from having scorpio like hair plugs, but you can call me dad.  Yeah so im having a baby, looking for a career or trying to get some sort of stable living arrangement before it arrives would make a ton of sense, but you see i like to escape reality a lot because it helps get my mind of the fact my father used to get me to dance in my mothers lingerie in front of his friends as a small boy for entertainment and that i was known as the neighborhood vacuum cleaner to all of the elderly business men.  Im so glad that i can now put that my baby's mother is the ass that has housed over 100 dicks on par with i look like a fat hobbit from lord of the rings. 
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#103779 - 05/30/05 08:09 AM
Re: Message to Teagans baby :time to self abort
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 8160
Loc: Roma, Repubblica Italiana
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Wow, he's cool.
_________________________
 "All my years in p*rn didn't quite prepare me for childbirth. I mistakenly thought all the stretching I did would make this easier."
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#103780 - 05/30/05 08:25 AM
Re: Message to Teagans baby :time to self abort
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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I wouldn't let that guy park my car.
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#103781 - 05/30/05 08:54 AM
Re: Message to Teagans baby :time to self abort
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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Teagan's pregnant?
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#103782 - 05/30/05 10:40 AM
Re: Message to Teagans baby :time to self abort
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 04/16/04
Posts: 2415
Loc: On the Mia Rose bandwagon
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HOLY SHIT ! Watch dude scored. Today I am going to pick out a Timex and show my undenying  love for Haley 
_________________________
" Bitch, not even a dumptruck full of Gucci bags would get me to do you. "- Gia Jordan response to pornactorforhire
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#103785 - 05/30/05 10:11 PM
Re: Message to Teagans baby :time to self abort
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 1342
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I could kill this guy with my barehands just for those sideburns.
_________________________
"Bornyo sleeps under a bearskin that he killed and skinned when he was 5. He just stared the thing dead with mind bullets." - Floofin
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#103786 - 05/30/05 11:04 PM
Re: Message to Teagans baby :time to self abort
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Human Garbage
Registered: 07/05/04
Posts: 1545
Loc: In the tree outside Gia Jordan...
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I wonder what this retard is going to do for a living. The exciting career of loading UPS trucks... or the equally rewarding career of unloading UPS trucks. Time will tell.
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If cum was concrete, Quasarman would have a four lane freeway going down his throat. - pariah
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#103788 - 06/06/05 10:40 PM
Re: Message to Teagans baby :time to self abort
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 04/25/05
Posts: 111
Loc: Ireland
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#103789 - 09/27/06 03:05 PM
Wow.
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 10/27/05
Posts: 322
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#103790 - 09/27/06 04:08 PM
Re: Wow.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/06
Posts: 6557
Loc: 2004 - the glory days
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Teagan's old beau probably got tired of being mistaken for her son in public now that she looks 45.
_________________________
"You are the worst poster in xpt yet I can't stop talking about you" - smelly monkey
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#103792 - 09/27/06 08:36 PM
Re: Wow.
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 931
Loc: United States
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Ehh...that whore still looks hot
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PORN.....I love this stuff
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#103794 - 09/28/06 07:29 PM
Re: Wow.
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 931
Loc: United States
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fine dickbag
_________________________
PORN.....I love this stuff
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#103796 - 09/29/06 05:47 PM
Re: Wow.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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#103800 - 10/01/06 04:59 PM
Re: Wow.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 8160
Loc: Roma, Repubblica Italiana
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Anybody taking bets on how many more weeks until Daddy flies the coup, a la Binaca Pureheart?
_________________________
"All my years in p*rn didn't quite prepare me for childbirth. I mistakenly thought all the stretching I did would make this easier."
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#103801 - 10/01/06 11:05 PM
Re: Wow.
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 06/30/04
Posts: 691
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It looks like she lives in a nice house. In Southern CA, an average house is $500,000.
_________________________
Amor est vitae essentia
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#103803 - 10/02/06 12:27 AM
Re: Wow.
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 10/27/05
Posts: 322
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Quote:
It looks like she lives in a nice house. In Southern CA, an average house is $500,000.
You based that on a window and a shelf in a picture that may not even be her house? You just throw some random shit out there...
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#103808 - 10/03/06 10:31 AM
Re: Wow.
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 764
Loc: Tralfamadore
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Ha Ha! 
Where's Maged?
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meh.
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#103809 - 10/03/06 11:41 AM
Re: Wow.
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 05/29/06
Posts: 364
Loc: Promoting black on black viole...
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Quote:
Quote:
Can someone please kindly photoshop a Teagan movie cover onto the book that her baby is chewing on?
Moments like this are the reason I love this forum. Thank you sir.
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#103812 - 10/03/06 01:27 PM
Re: Wow.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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no, but i'll laugh very hard.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#103813 - 10/04/06 02:47 PM
Re: Wow.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9181
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#103817 - 10/05/06 09:12 AM
Re: Wow.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9181
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That second paragraph should be cut and pasted all over MySpace, XPeeps and whereever else these whores want to show the world what great mommies they are (coincidentally, why do no stunt cocks ever show the babies their putrid sperm have produced?). 1. You're a porn whore. 2. No one cares about your baby, except to the extent that the repeated penisflogging of your birth canal probably made the delivery a little less painful. 3. While it's "nice" that you are proud of your offspring, sharing this fact with the porn-watching degenerate public only dercreases your stroke value. This in turn reduces the chance that your videos will be purchased, which in turn will reduce the liklihood you will get booked, which increases the chance of AFDC for baby Teagen. You are registered at XPT. Log in and respond if you want.
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#103819 - 10/05/06 04:58 PM
Re: Wow.
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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Quote:
Yep, she certainly asked for it - Teagan's Myspace profile, a deliciously inappropriate mixture of whore poses interspersed with baby pics.
Bianca Pureheart has been doing the samething. She used to also promote her website on her page as well with all the baby pictures even though it wasn't actually a site anymore because she failed to pay for the hosting. I've tried explaining to her that it's not a good idea esp. for living in the bible belt but dumb people have to learn the hard way.
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#103820 - 10/05/06 10:50 PM
Re: Wow.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Well its begun, we have angered her fanboys, a pm I recieved. From: Fruswife I see that you are a moderator of The Monkey Cage and noticed a offensive and disturbing thread about Teagan Presley and her daughter. I believe that as a moderator its your duty to make sure posts like these are handled correctly to protect the innocent. I'm a close friend of Teagan's and was the one who stopped her from calling the police. I thought that it would be best if we managed to sort this out ourselves. Don't make me be the bad guy, just do what is right and remove the thread please. Sincerely Robert hey robert, you can have my answer here. FUCK YOU FANBOY 
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#103821 - 10/06/06 12:16 AM
Re: Wow.
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Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer
Registered: 10/09/04
Posts: 1176
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Quote:
Well its begun, we have angered her fanboys, a pm I recieved.
From: Fruswife
I see that you are a moderator of The Monkey Cage and noticed a offensive and disturbing thread about Teagan Presley and her daughter. I believe that as a moderator its your duty to make sure posts like these are handled correctly to protect the innocent. I'm a close friend of Teagan's and was the one who stopped her from calling the police. I thought that it would be best if we managed to sort this out ourselves. Don't make me be the bad guy, just do what is right and remove the thread please.
Sincerely Robert
hey robert, you can have my answer here.
FUCK YOU FANBOY
OK, I pulled the original images for two reasons. Firstly, to preempt the inevitable playing of the copyright/DMCA card, and secondly because (although I still think the joke was funny as hell) my conscience has a soft spot for protective mothers. On reflection, I can understand her not wanting images like that in circulation. I reposted the censored pic purely to dispel any false impression people might get of what was actually in it.
However, if she's going to meltdown over this and enlist her fanboys to issue threats by proxy, my sympathy diminishes. With both of them blanked out of the image, I see no justification for further complaint. If anything, she should be the one now reflecting on the wisdom of openly exposing her family to the masses of porn-viewing degenerates. She needs hitting with the clue-bat. A humble suggestion: Does anyone have any non copyright-incumbered images of her (minus kid) that they can contribute with suggestions on how they might be suitably modified? I had fun with my newly-aquired photoshop skills and I know there are other talented 'shoppers here. Perhaps some sort of contest?
_________________________
"If I were a guy, not swallowing would be a deal breaker. So what if you cook and clean? I can get a maid for that." - Gia Jordan
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#103823 - 06/01/07 10:21 AM
Re: Message to Teagans baby :time to self abort
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/05
Posts: 4726
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Edited by RENFIELD (06/01/07 10:24 AM)
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#103824 - 06/01/07 10:34 AM
Re: Wow.
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Human Garbage
Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 1557
Loc: New York
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Did she really go all K-Fed and have two babies with two different Baby Daddies? No, those kids aren't going into porn at all.
_________________________
"This thing is ready to do damage!"
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#103825 - 06/01/07 01:44 PM
Re: Wow.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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Truly a great thread. I remember checking it one day and crying with laughter and then the images were all fucked the next time I checked. I should've saved them.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#103826 - 06/01/07 05:09 PM
Re: Wow.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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I find your lack of foresight obscene.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!! 
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#103827 - 06/02/07 06:48 AM
Any More Edited Pics?
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 03/07/07
Posts: 357
Loc: Washington DC
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Bump
Anyone wanna put up some more photoshoped pics?
Does anyone know what Teagan actually said about the last pic? did she put anything up on her myspace about it?
_________________________
<- Great Body, Fuck Yeahhh!!!!!!!!!!
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#103829 - 06/02/07 09:31 AM
Re: Any More Edited Pics?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9181
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Quote:
Does anyone know what Teagan actually said about the last pic? did she put anything up on her myspace about it?
She claimed it was child pornography. Actually, she's too stupid to figure out how to call up and say that, so she had Jenna Presley do it for her.
Durrr...phonebook! 
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#103830 - 06/02/07 12:49 PM
Re: Any More Edited Pics?
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 03/07/07
Posts: 357
Loc: Washington DC
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childpornography?- she needs a phonebook AND a dictionary (to figure out what words mean)!
Lookin at her pics I guess she got married the new school way- with the baby at the wedding.
Does anyone know if she reads these forums?
_________________________
<- Great Body, Fuck Yeahhh!!!!!!!!!!
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#103831 - 06/02/07 02:28 PM
Re: Any More Edited Pics?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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Teagan is like most of my porn favorites:
Very cute girl with a brain the size of a marble -- and with 95% of that inert matter.
[Rambling "lawyer letters" may be sent to my email].
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!!
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#103833 - 06/02/07 08:38 PM
Re: Any More Edited Pics?
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 02/18/07
Posts: 376
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She looks like Miss Piggy.
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#103834 - 06/03/07 06:59 AM
Re: Wow.
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 03/07/07
Posts: 357
Loc: Washington DC
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Teagan was homeless just before she gave birth, the on'y way shes living in a house worth half a milly is if she gets knocked up by a baller or marries a lonely porn director who lives in a big house in the hills and does drugs by himself all the times.
How do you know she was homeless before givin birth? Where was the farther at the time? any more info on this?
_________________________
<- Great Body, Fuck Yeahhh!!!!!!!!!!
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#103836 - 06/03/07 09:22 AM
Re: Any More Edited Pics?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 8160
Loc: Roma, Repubblica Italiana
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Mom is a blonde, dad has brown hair, and the kid is a redhead. WTF?
_________________________
"All my years in p*rn didn't quite prepare me for childbirth. I mistakenly thought all the stretching I did would make this easier."
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#103838 - 06/03/07 09:45 AM
Re: Any More Edited Pics?
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 05/18/06
Posts: 3555
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#103843 - 06/03/07 02:38 PM
Re: Any More Edited Pics?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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The longer I stare at that image, the more empathy I feel for Jamesn.
Mind bleach, please!
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#103846 - 06/03/07 10:45 PM
Re: Any More Edited Pics?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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Quote:
DNA confirmation required!!
Certainly fatman, do you prefer to spit or swallow?
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#103847 - 06/04/07 03:33 PM
Teagan as a mom
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 03/07/07
Posts: 357
Loc: Washington DC
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Everyone on the foums keeps sayin how much Teagan is a crack-head mom.
I have to ask
1)Is she really on drugs-does she really do blow?
2) Is she really that stupid? (not all pornstars are that stupid, e.g. jen jamesson)
3)The farther of her new kid looks like an ex-con, who is he?
_________________________
<- Great Body, Fuck Yeahhh!!!!!!!!!!
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#103848 - 12/19/07 06:48 PM
Re: Any More Edited Pics?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9181
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#607317 - 03/07/14 09:46 PM
Re: Message to Teagans baby :time to self abort
[Re: jamesn]
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@
Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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fingerblast from the past....
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i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#608192 - 03/22/14 12:35 AM
Re: Message to Teagans baby :time to self abort
[Re: Smelly Monkey]
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ADT regular
Registered: 07/04/12
Posts: 19
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For a druggie still looks pretty damn good.
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#654096 - 07/18/20 03:42 PM
Re: Message to Teagans baby :time to self abort
[Re: Smelly Monkey]
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 01/13/20
Posts: 89
Loc: EST
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This baby probably recently got her learners permit to drive.
_________________________
If I give up drinking, smoking, and fatty foods, I can add ten years to my life. Trouble is, I'll add it to the wrong end.
P. J. O'Rourke
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New rooster in the hen house?
garfield is a sexy bitch.
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