Hypothetical Situation

I really need some Cage wisdom on this one:

Suppose that you're acquainted with someone. Not a close friend, but a friend of friends that you're likely to encounter again in future. In your limited encounters with them, this person seems perfectly nice and normal. Then, by complete fluke, you happen upon some totally unexpected information about them...

Namely that their family was a world-leading producer of animal porn, directed by their father and starring their mother, sister, and a stepmother who is described as "The reigning queen of bestiality". At first you found this information totally unbelievable, but there is indisputable proof in the form of boxcovers in which you can identify their relatives from their facebook photos.

You can't see any evidence of this person being involved in the bestiality, although they have directed a few human based porn movies and played an administrative role in the "family business".

So in this situation, which of course is totally theoretical and not real in any way, how would you handle the next time you see them, knowing that their mother starred in "Fat Dog Fucker" and "Granny's Dog Orgy", while their sister was in "Dog Sperm Bitch" and "Kinky Pony Girls", all directed by their father? Would you mention it at all or keep quiet? And if you decided not to mention it, how would you summon the mental discipline required to keep a straight face?

All opinions gratefully received...

Is their last name Zane?

In the totally fictional scenario I am proposing, their last name would not be Zane.

I would probably reevaluate the people with whom I associate but that's just me.

Hypothetically I just jacked off to your post in a non real way.

Depends on the person. If he seems to be living it pretty openly, I'd imagine he has a sense of humor about it. If he does, pick his brain and report back to us with the hilarity.

It may be relevent to bring up that old showbiz nugget of wisdom: Never work with animals or children.

I'd tell every friend we have in common and wait for one of them to get drunk enough to ask him about it.

Then I would jack it to his sister blowing dobermans and having horse cum gush out of her holes.

He/she has not openly discussed any sort of porn involvement with his/her friends, but neither do they appear to have made a particular effort to hide their connection, having used their real life name as producer and 2257 contact for the non-animal videos they directed.




I may already have done that, finding it impossible to keep the staggering revelation to myself.




Dog-wise, they seem to favour Great Danes. As for horse cum, the description of one of the sister's movies says "Without any problem she swallows the big load of horse semen", so I guess there is plenty to satisfy your tastes.

Personally, I'm more preoccupied with trying to pin down the chronology and figure out which of this person's cute teenage half-sisters was inside the stepmother when she filmed "pregnant dog lovers".

Ooops, did I forget to say "hypothetically".

Well, hypothetically, you could PM me some links.

Is the sister hot? How old ya think she was when she was bangin animals?

You would have to figure that if the family is fickin dogs together on camera, then they are probably fuckin each other off camera.

Not like they had much of a choice. If they had attempted to hide their real names, 2257 says they can be fined and/or go to non-hypothetical jail for up to 5 years (first offense,) and 2-10 thereafter. Unless they chartered as a corporation and designated an employee to do so, who would still have to use their real name and announce to the world their involvement in animal porn.

Somehow, I don't see many people applying for that job. You were around the last time the DOJ went Jihadi on the pornography, and your country's attitude now is about the same as ours was then. So it's not so much having a sense of humor, I think, so much as it's understanding that it's all part of the work.

They (hypothetically) don't have to comply with 2257 at all, as they are not under US jurisdiction. I presume they do so to make it easier to license their content. And BTW, they're (hypothetically) not based in the UK either, bestiality has been illegal here for centuries.

Sure, IF they undertake to ensure that no copy ever reaches these shores, and also plan to live and work forever in places without extradition to the US:




Such an undertaking being impractical (and certainly more costly than simply complying with the damned law), most pornographers (of whatever stripe) choose to err on the side of caution.





The UK has all sorts of extradition treaties with the US. Tell me you can't see Cameron shipping those he considers "undesirable", even folks on a holiday, off to the States if it suited his purpose?

Same goes for other nations. Not many will allow pornographers to hole up in their embassies. Unless they're leaking e-mails, and your friend doesn't seem to hold that card.

Your pal's smarter than you, Your Grace.

This has absolutely zero to do with David Cameron and UK laws. There is no UK aspect to this at all. So let's simplify your argument:


Country A makes a regulation about a product.
Country B has no such regulation.
Country C also has no such regulation, but has an extradition treaty with country A.

Person in country B makes a product. It doesn't comply with country A's regulation. It doesn't have to, it's neither produced nor sold in country A.

Someone from country A visiting country B buys this product and takes it home with them. It has now "touched the shore" of country A.

Person from country B visits country C.

You propose that country C will arrest this person and extradite them at country A's request?

Ivor, first of all, I'm not --contrary to your usual assumption-- singling out the UK, and I'm only using Cameron as an example of a right-ish ministry that has a demonstrable history of (a) anti-porn legislation, and (b) willingness to extradite anyone the US wants extradited (and not necessarily to the US) on extremely flimsy pretext. Again, you've got folks holed up in embassies in Blighty, so please tell me you're not so naieve as to think extradition of other countries troublemakers doesn't happen all the time when it's to the mutual interest/convenience of the nations involved?

Also:




It's illegal in most places, and that's all the pretext needed. From everything you've stated, your friend sounds Scandinavian, and specifically Swedish. While bestiality is legal there (for the sole reason that no one ever got worked up enough to make a stink about it in that frozen part of the world) your friend, being Swedish, has had a front-row seat for one of the world's grandest extradition dramas, and, being smarter than you, chose the wiser course.

Anyway, I'm not advocating the extradition of anyone. I'm just pointing out that your friend's putting his name on 2257 stuff isn't anything more than a practical decision and a matter of course for what you, yourself, have stated is his family business.

Are you asking "Should I announce at some big party, 'Hey! Here's Johann of the Bergen Bestial Brethren!!!'"??? Depends on (a) your audience, (b) your relationship with Johann, and (c) how badly you want to fuck his Sister. Beyond that, I don't know what to tell you, Your Grace.

Nor is it limited to Pornographers or Hackers.

Again, your pal is smarter than you. Is that what's holding you back?

Just ask him about it when there's no crowd around.

You misspelled Nevil Schoenmakers name, so you LMGTFY link doesn't work.

This example fails to make your point on 2 counts:

1. He was actively selling to the US.
2. The ultimate outcome was that the Dutch Courts rightly rejected this attempt at Jurisdictional over-reach by the US anyway, and declined to extradite him.

Funny, it works for me even with the misspelling. Maybe it simply doesn't like you, as most don't. Anyway:

(1)"The Pornography" is a global business, and it reaches these shores whether your pal ships it directly or it arrives via third party, which is why it's worth it to him to comply with 2257;

(2) Schoenmakers wasn't extradited from The Netherlands. That's been my entire point, you dense sonofabitch: He was detained and extradited from Australia (a country where he held citizenship, BTW) while visiting family. Like I said from the beginning, your pal can refuse to comply with 2257, if it's legal where he's operating, but that severely limits his travel options.

You're so quick to assume personal insult it's no wonder you miss the easy stuff in a pointless war of your own creation.

Which I covered at the start with:


[on Nevil Schoenmakers]

No mention of that in his Wikipedia article. If you're going to try to make a point, you need to cite your sources properly instead of trying to be clever with LMGTFY.




Hmmm:


(They're not Swedish BTW, and they're an acquaintance, not a friend. (hypothetically))





I think most people would regard those as personal insults. But regardless, all I did was respond to your points.


That's hilarious. Everyone reading can see what happened here. You picked a fight over a minor point, and all I did was calmly put my counter-view as you descended into a frenzy of posts, barbed with insults, as you tried to prove me wrong. Pot, Kettle, Black.

Yep. You got schooled. Again. Come on back in a few years and try your luck again. Idiot.

It's rather more likely that people will recognise you losing your cool, when someone challenged your statements and exposed your fake-lawyering.

Ivor, the simple fact is that your pal, again, being smarter than you, recognizes that it's nice to be able to travel without looking over his shoulder. You're the one who sought to needlessly ennoble the most practical of decisions.

This also explains why you stress needlessly over a non-issue. If you want to talk to the guy about it, do so, and if you don't, don't. Why bring a Dear Abby question to a bukkake board?

In my first post I spoke of the difficulty of keeping a straight face next time I see that person. You interpret that as being stressed? I (hypothetically) find the whole situation utterly hilarious.


"Dear Abby,

I recently discovered that a friend of a friend comes from a family of world leading animal pornographers. I'm deeply concerned that their stepmother was in a movie called pony piss slut. Whatever shall I do?"

Hmmm, I think the syndication partners might take issue with that one.

It relates to porn, and it's (hypothetically) one of the most bizarre situations I have ever personally encountered in my life. Where better than the Cage?

If this is the most bizarre situations you've "personally" ever encountered then The Cage might not really be for you, eh candy ass?

In any event, the only thing "personal" about any of this (since you seem to have stumbled upon this info third hand and not as a result of your own prurient interest in barnyard-buggery) is your own awkwardness and heebie-jeebies at being around these folks. And that's entirely about your own issues and how you handle 'em. Damn right you're stressing, and the fact that you still insist on adding the parenthetic "hypothetically" to any of this speaks volumes about your stress as to the legal AND social aspects of your myriad issues.

FWIW: I, for one, am more than happy to add to your stress. That's what The Cage is for.

Hilarious. Still trying to claim your own meltdown as a victory.

Heh. Ivor, you're the only one who's melted down here and you're still doing it. Relax, Dude. you're not the first person who couldn't handle himself in a social situation.

It's not my fault you didn't anticipate derision while seeking etiquette advice... in the fscking Cage, of all places.

Keep digging.

Dig? Dig?? Dig for what? You're doing all the work, son.

You began and ended your sheltered-boi etiquette question thus:




Seems to me someone's a tad ungrateful for their requested und received Cage Wisdom. Candy Ass.

On the contrary, when someone rapidly descends into insults because they've totally lost on the point they were trying to argue, it is they who dig themselves into a hole. When they start declaring victory, and claiming their opponent to be "stressed", they merely compound the embarrassment they have brought upon themselves.

The evidence is here for all to see, you've tried and failed to provoke me, whilst getting increasingly irate yourself.




There has been no wisdom in your contribution, you've just made a fool of yourself. It's pitiful, yet compelling to watch.

It sure is.



On the contrary. I've explained, in calm and exhaustive detail exactly:

• what 2257 is about;
• why this acquaintance of yours complies with it, as a practical matter;
• why your OP reveals more about your own social insecurities than anything you've ever posted; and, most importantly,
• why YOU, Ivor Biggun, are too much the Myron to play here in the Cage.

You sought advice on social intercourse in the Cage (again, of all places) expecting that your dumb, self-conscious OP won't be derided.

You got hostile and defensive when someone pointed out your errors of law and fact, to say nothing about your grievous misapprehensions about everyday inter-personal interaction.

You then attempted to claim "meltdown" when you didn't like the answer because the truth it contained hit too close to home.

This is the Cage, Ivor. What the Hell did you expect?

I submit, sir, that you're the new Phlogiston.

Enjoy them gumdrop tits.

So...to sum up this thread so far:

^ Yep. Pretty much.

In the end, it won't matter what advice His Grace takes away from this, because his own insecurities are sure to complicate his interactions with the folks involved for years to come. I just hope he doesn't bore the rest of us with it.

You seem determined to have the last word, tell you what, you can have it. You'd get it by default anyway, I came back here for a quick diversion and to share a funny story. Sparring with you has been amusing, but I simply don't have time to carry on with this, and to be honest, I'm starting to feel bad for you, because it's becoming evident just how important to you your status in this place is. You must not lose face, you're the ultimate keyboard Samurai, who cannot live with the shame of defeat. However much you try to turn this around by warping the fabric of reality, anyone can see the truth about who melted down, who got stressed, who has social insecurities, just by counting up the insults that went in each direction, and frankly, I really couldn't care less about winning a porn forum flame war anyway.

Get out. Do stuff. Meet people. I went through a period when I spent far, far too much of my precious time on porn boards, but I moved on. My life is vastly improved now, yours could be too.

Then why do you continue?

You came back. Got called out on your social inhibitions and got butthurt about it. If I were you, I'd stay away from all such dodgy types, Nigel. You're not built for it.

Enjoy.

Then just relax and let it go.

I was hoping to come here and find this resolved.

Here?

Sounds like someone is pitching a show to HBO or FX and is stuck on a plot line.

Tardy to the party. Just got here.

Good. Fucking. God. What. The. Fuck! End your 'friendship' with these deranged people NOW. No, I'm not talking about us. I'm talking about the dog and pony show fuckers.

Whore morality. Priceless.

How's it going, Barry the Rapist? Nice to know it's something as abstract as morality that keeps you from blowing horses. Not the obvious, like, it's really gross.

Think of the poor colts, kittens, puppies, snakes, piglets and god knows what else these people have raped. It must be raped cause a dog or a horse can't say, "yes, I approve of my dong being sucked by a human," or "yes, I want my knot in that human female's butthole".

#neighmeansno is what you're saying?

This thread needs a proper derailment.

Not bad for a Monday, Gia the Victim. Nice to see that you're still able to fake a soul.

I'm sure if the rent were due, you'd have caught the Chessie Moore Express to Europe when you were something in the 80s. Because no one thinks when they're a kid that they'd be sucking their own shit off parolee wang for a living when they grow up.

Scotland too?