Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you - 07/26/04 09:12 PM
As the monkey's cage continues to grow we have decided to add a new element to the site. From now on whenever you have a problem we have a new girl here who is going to try and answer it for you, she is wise beyond her years, Her name is Christina and she takes on many forms of different christinas. Confused, well i will start the ball rolling. This is serious to, if you have a problem feel free to ask it and christina will answer it as best she can and reward you with a picture.
Dear christina, i have a problem and was wondering if you could help, i have a pillar that has shown signs of cracks in the side and im worried that it could break and the roof above will tumble down on our heads while we eat dinner, what do you suggest for the problem.
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you - 07/26/04 09:14 PM
Glad you asked monkey, its hard to explain but i hope this picture i have included will help
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you - 07/26/04 09:17 PM
Thanks christina, as you can see she has a vast knowledge on many topics, so if you have a problem feel free to ask away.
Posted by: Sergio T.
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you - 07/26/04 09:27 PM
Dear Christina,
you didnt answer Monkey's question.Why?
Posted by: have2cit
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/27/04 03:36 AM
Dear Christina,
I understand women with huge knockers have a problem keeping their spines in line. How do you keep your back so straight?
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you - 07/27/04 04:19 AM
Quote:
Dear Christina,
you didnt answer Monkey's question.Why?
this is christina here, chico you sexy thing you, i did answer the question. I didn't know how to verbalize it so i used a picture showing how to do it, a picture is worth a thousand words and a picture with me wearing a thong has to be worst at least 1200 right, which is actually what i got paid for the shoot, how ironic.
Quote:
Dear Christina,
I understand women with huge knockers have a problem keeping their spines in line. How do you keep your back so straight?
How right you are, there is a price to pay having the big girls, what i tend to do is yoga back exercises for at least an hour a day, i have a lot of great supporting bras and if you would have a look at the picture above these type of exercises also tend to help and a great smile will get you everywhere. xxx ooo christina.
Posted by: Sergio T.
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you - 07/27/04 06:36 AM
Dear Christina,
Thanks...ummm...Whats the real story between Monkey and Fayner? Don't hold back since your smarter than the magic 8 ball.
www.exquisitemenu.comwww.adultstaffingservices.com
Posted by: kyoto
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you - 07/27/04 06:42 AM
ok, monkey. the christina bit made me LOL. but the question is, can you keep giving us this great material? if not I banish you to a lifetime of rimming smartt.
Posted by: have2cit
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/27/04 06:48 AM
Dear Christina,
When your daddy "Puts It To You" and he "Pimps" your pictures out on the net, how do you hold your head up high and continue to look into the camera without tears of shame streaming down your face?
Posted by: Sergio T.
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/27/04 06:58 AM
Dear Christina,
There is one guy and 10 girls. He is going to fuck them all. Each fuck session lasts 18 min. He needs 10 minutes to recuperate from the first two sessions. From the third session on, he needs an additional 7 minutues per girl to resume fucking.Its 12pm noon. How long will it take for him to fuck all 10 girls?
Posted by: Cleetus VanDamme
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/27/04 08:36 AM
Dear Christina,
Tickle your ass with a feather?
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you - 07/27/04 04:12 PM
Quote:
Dear Christina,
Thanks...ummm...Whats the real story between Monkey and Fayner? Don't hold back since your smarter than the magic 8 ball.
Chico as much as i would love to tell you i can't because if i do the monkey will beat me (monkey yells from the kitchen, what are you talking about over there, christina whispers back, nothing monkey, its okay).
Quote:
ok, monkey. the christina bit made me LOL. but the question is, can you keep giving us this great material? if not I banish you to a lifetime of rimming smartt.
If i wasn't working for the monkey and knew everything about the monkey i would swear this is the monkey's second id used to stroke his ego , brandon iron's style. Lucky i know the monkey better then most.
Quote:
Dear Christina,
When your daddy "Puts It To You" and he "Pimps" your pictures out on the net, how do you hold your head up high and continue to look into the camera without tears of shame streaming down your face?
I have put that all in the past, monkey saved me from that life, thankfully. So although i appreciate that question i would prefer to answer questions about problems you guys might be having rather then focus on the many problems of my troubled past.
Quote:
Dear Christina,
There is one guy and 10 girls. He is going to fuck them all. Each fuck session lasts 18 min. He needs 10 minutes to recuperate from the first two sessions. From the third session on, he needs an additional 7 minutues per girl to resume fucking.Its 12pm noon. How long will it take for him to fuck all 10 girls?
sounds like fun, the wording of this question can leave you with 2 different answers, but i will try and answer it the way i assume it was meant to be asked. It will take you 4 hours and 6 minuts, so she should be ready by 4.06 pm.
Quote:
Dear Christina,
Tickle your ass with a feather?
no
Posted by: Cleetus VanDamme
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/27/04 04:30 PM
If i wasn't working for the monkey and knew everything about the monkey i would swear this is the monkey's second id used to stroke his ego , brandon iron's style. Lucky i know the monkey better then most.
Ahah
............................................................
Dear Christina,
Tickle your ass with a feather?
no
Why not dammit?
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/27/04 05:43 PM
Quote:
no
Why not dammit?
I am not a piece of meat, well at least not anymore. I am a person with feelings. Tell you what i will post a picture teasing you all a little.
Posted by: smiling arab
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/27/04 05:49 PM
Are those braces? And don't they hurt when you... you know... (lecherous leer) hehheh... a hehhehheh
Posted by: Cleetus VanDamme
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/27/04 06:35 PM
Dear Christina,
I don't like being teased by your photos and no acceptance of ass tickling, and another thing stay the hell away from Monkey's secreat stash of bananas as half of them are mine.
Posted by: Sergio T.
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/27/04 09:10 PM
Dear Christina,
Have you and the Monkey fucked?
www.exquisitemenu.com
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/28/04 12:39 AM
Quote:
Are those braces? And don't they hurt when you... you know... (lecherous leer) hehheh... a hehhehheh
yes they are, they are from the tom cruise clear view line. As for the second part i have no idea what you mean. 
Quote:
Dear Christina,
Have you and the Monkey fucked?
I wish, It's every girls dream to turn a gay man straight.
Posted by: Sergio T.
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/28/04 06:10 AM
Dear Christina,
Who is going to win the World Series this year? Dont let me down because I've got big money on a Dodgers v. Yankees series,if they get that far.
Posted by: Sergio T.
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/28/04 06:12 AM
Dear Christina,
What are your turn-ons,fetishes and will you ever do porn?
Posted by: have2cit
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/28/04 10:33 AM
Dear Christina,
I have a recurring dream where I am standing over someone who has kneeled in front of me. I am not sure who it is at this point. I have a 45 pointed at their forehead. I pull the trigger and before the body hits the floor I realize it's smartt. Understanding the gravity of what I have done I know what my next move must be. I roll the body over carefully cover my johnson with a condom (he is brazilian) and begin to fuck the living shit out of the exit wound.
My question is: In what circumstances do you think it appropriate for a man to shave his pubes?
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/28/04 07:16 PM
Quote:
Dear Christina,
Who is going to win the World Series this year? Dont let me down because I've got big money on a Dodgers v. Yankees series,if they get that far.
cubs in 6 over the red sox (yes thats right)
Quote:
Dear Christina,
What are your turn-ons,fetishes and will you ever do porn?
Nothing, nothing and no.
Quote:
Dear Christina,
I have a recurring dream where I am standing over someone who has kneeled in front of me. I am not sure who it is at this point. I have a 45 pointed at their forehead. I pull the trigger and before the body hits the floor I realize it's smartt. Understanding the gravity of what I have done I know what my next move must be. I roll the body over carefully cover my johnson with a condom (he is brazilian) and begin to fuck the living shit out of the exit wound.
My question is: In what circumstances do you think it appropriate for a man to shave his pubes?
First off i think i can speak for the majority of the baord and say we have all had that dream at one point or another, and to answer your question when it gets to be more then 2 inches in length it is nice to trim the hedges, when you go down on a woman its not nice to be head first into hair the same goes for us girls.
Posted by: 2cums
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/28/04 07:57 PM
Dear Christina,
I thought about masturbating to your pics tonight. Would you be offended?
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/28/04 07:59 PM
Quote:
Dear Christina,
I thought about masturbating to your pics tonight. Would you be offended?
No honey, my father does and it doesn't bother me so you doing it wouldn't.
Posted by: have2cit
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/29/04 10:56 AM
Dear Christina,
There has been a lot of talk on the board about people using several ID's. I was hoping you could shed some light on the subject.
If Monseur is Brandon
& Fester is Cleetus
& Smelly Monkey is Smiling Arab
& Pussy Power is Lord Byron and Rump
Does that mean:
Kyoto is Kryptic?
Kami is Toelicker (both disappeared about the same time)?
Wizard of Jizz is Swami?
Any help you could give me would be appreciated.
P.S. How much longer till your old enough for me fuck those great looking tits of yours.
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/29/04 04:50 PM
Quote:
Dear Christina,
There has been a lot of talk on the board about people using several ID's. I was hoping you could shed some light on the subject.
If Monseur is Brandon
& Fester is Cleetus
& Smelly Monkey is Smiling Arab
& Pussy Power is Lord Byron and Rump
Does that mean:
Kyoto is Kryptic?
Kami is Toelicker (both disappeared about the same time)?
Wizard of Jizz is Swami?
Any help you could give me would be appreciated.
P.S. How much longer till your old enough for me fuck those great looking tits of yours.
Yes the multiply ids has seemed to have come in vogue on this board after everyone found out brandon irons had done it, always the trend setter a lot of people have start to follow in his foot steps, i hope this fad fades as no one is really fooling anyone else, everyone knows regular members posting styles. All the names mentioned above are those people, you have done your homework. I am totally disgusted with people pretending to be other people, its sick (pauses to think, and a little more, and a little more, it will come to you)
Te girls stay unfucked and covered, barely.
Posted by: Jeff Steward
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/30/04 06:57 AM
Quote:
Yes the multiply ids has seemed to have come in vogue on this board after everyone found out brandon irons had done it, always the trend setter a lot of people have start to follow in his foot steps,
Trend setter?God I hope not other wise everyone will be out on the streets posing like this. 
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/30/04 02:02 PM
That is the greatest picture in the history of photos taken throughout time. Thats brandon irons blue steel, the photographer goes " brandon give me sexy, the camera loves you" and thats what brandon gave him. I love that picture, brandon care to give us a breakdown of that photo and the shoot itself, love to hear it.
Posted by: c62
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/01/04 09:44 AM
Quote:
Dear Christina,
Who is going to win the World Series this year? Dont let me down because I've got big money on a Dodgers v. Yankees series,if they get that far.
Those dodgers have to get through the Padres first....
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/01/04 04:17 PM
Dear christina , im having a problem trying to flatten the base of my workshop table, do you have any suggestions?. Thanks monkey.
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/01/04 04:18 PM
Sure monkey, in fact my father had the same problem not so long ago. Best thing is to lay on the table stomach first and try and even out your body weight while on the table, i have added a picture of what it should look like.
Posted by: Sergio T.
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/01/04 06:55 PM
Quote:
Those dodgers have to get through the Padres first....
As of right now, Dodgers are in first and Padres are in second. I have posted before on how I'm both a Dodger and Padre fan(dont want to try to find the post now),but there is conflict when they play each other,as in this past weekend. If either go to the Series,I'll be happy. BTW, I thought Finley was coming back to SD,but he ended up in LA. Thats a good trade for the Dodgers.
Posted by: Cleetus VanDamme
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/01/04 07:01 PM
Chico, do you like Baseball better than Football?
Posted by: Sergio T.
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/01/04 07:07 PM
Thats a tough one to answer.Right now its baseball because my teams are in the playoff hunt.Come Sept.,I'm going to be in football mode,especially if the Steelers start off strong.
I played both in school and each had their strong points. There's nothing like striking out a batter,but then again,hitting someone hard and seeing them struggle to get up is also a good feeling.
Posted by: Cleetus VanDamme
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/01/04 07:16 PM
I much prefer football, i like the Mets in baseball but that is as far as it goes, with football I am A Dolphin fan but I am a fan of the game and can watch any team on tv. Plus with me being into Fantasy football on yahoo I can't get enough pigskin( you ever try fantasy football chico? It's free and fun)
Posted by: Sergio T.
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/01/04 07:20 PM
Havent tried fantasy football.How does that work?
Posted by: Cleetus VanDamme
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/01/04 07:27 PM
Do you have a yahoo mail address? That's all you need. Then you pick a date when you can draft your team from available players. There are 10 teams in a league ( yours and 9 other dudes) you pick a player- like Priest holmes then the next guy picks, etc. Until you have drafted a whole team. Then you just see how your players do each week statistically against the other guys players. Yahoo keeps track of all the stats so all you have to do is manage your lineup every sunday. Let me know if you or anybody else is interested and I 'll set up a league for us here at xxxpt.
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/01/04 07:32 PM
xxxporntalk fantasy football league. Okay now i have seen it all. I will just sit back and wait for the giant comet to hit the earth and end us all.
Posted by: Sergio T.
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/01/04 08:09 PM
Quote:
Do you have a yahoo mail address? That's all you need. Then you pick a date when you can draft your team from available players. There are 10 teams in a league ( yours and 9 other dudes) you pick a player- like Priest holmes then the next guy picks, etc. Until you have drafted a whole team. Then you just see how your players do each week statistically against the other guys players. Yahoo keeps track of all the stats so all you have to do is manage your lineup every sunday. Let me know if you or anybody else is interested and I 'll set up a league for us here at xxxpt.
Count me in.
Posted by: jamesn
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/02/04 12:51 AM
chico, you must be far enough removed from it to forget how much football sucked to play 90% of the time-which was practice and games you didn't win. the ratio of pancaking people to running the same play 8 times because all running backs are stupid/jamming fingers and getting cleated/standing around isn't very good.
plus, every team ever assembled had the "practice hero" guy who never really made it off the scout/2nd teams, but would clip people when you were running plays in shells or to thud.kinda like bill romanowski, but with a 5.1 40 and bad hands, but still dangerous to knees.
Posted by: have2cit
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/02/04 05:20 AM
Dear Christina,
My dreams about fucking smartt’s exit wound are causing me to jerk off several times a day. I have noticed a painful swelling at the base of my cock and I was wondering if a change in lubes would counter act this? Should I switch to water, oil, or silicon based lubricant? Currently I am just using gun oil.
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/02/04 04:04 PM
Quote:
Dear Christina,
My dreams about fucking smartt’s exit wound are causing me to jerk off several times a day. I have noticed a painful swelling at the base of my cock and I was wondering if a change in lubes would counter act this? Should I switch to water, oil, or silicon based lubricant? Currently I am just using gun oil.
Gun oil might not be the best for a sore throbbing penis. I think salt and vinegar or moonshine both work well for soaking a painful, overworked penis.
Posted by: Sergio T.
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/02/04 09:51 PM
Quote:
chico, you must be far enough removed from it to forget how much football sucked to play 90% of the time-which was practice and games you didn't win. the ratio of pancaking people to running the same play 8 times because all running backs are stupid/jamming fingers and getting cleated/standing around isn't very good.
plus, every team ever assembled had the "practice hero" guy who never really made it off the scout/2nd teams, but would clip people when you were running plays in shells or to thud.kinda like bill romanowski, but with a 5.1 40 and bad hands, but still dangerous to knees.
I was an outsidelinebacker and people did get hit. Practice did suck,but come gameday,it was worth it.Fortunately,we won the City Title twice when I was there. BTW, my 40 was a 4.6
Posted by: 2cums
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/02/04 10:27 PM
Dear Christina,
Do you offer anal on the first date?
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/03/04 04:46 AM
Quote:
Dear Christina,
Do you offer anal on the first date?
I have never done anal before in my life, that hole is off limits., but that doesn't mean i can't get freaky. In fact i have this really weird fetish, i love to put on my favorite orange t-shirt and then make myself squirt and roll around in the juices, have added a picture for your viewing pleasure.
Posted by: Sergio T.
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/03/04 07:16 AM
Dear Christina,
Are you ever going to shows us your pussy?
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/03/04 03:16 PM
Quote:
Dear Christina,
Are you ever going to shows us your pussy?
i will when you show me yours (sexy tongue roll and flip).
Posted by: jamesn
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/03/04 11:28 PM
That's the best position-I played weakside backer/TE and sometimes they'd put me as a kinda h-back. A legit 4.6 is impressive, I've run in the 4.6's but not reguarly-it's fast enough for college ball easily, but I'm about 195lbs at 6'2". I played lacrosse in college, but there's no way I could shed guards weighing 260 and benching 500lbs. And my high school team was average, losing games in november in the snow on torn ankle ligaments sucks, which was my last football memory and the source of my bitterness. little league ruled though.
Posted by: Sergio T.
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/04/04 07:41 PM
Yep,memories. I played guard on offense,just because I was fast enough to pull it off.But I HATED it. The last game of the season,our team was reduced to 11 players,due to injuries and academic suspension.They put my ass at WR. I never played WR. I got open and was chilling when our QB threw the ball and I had to dive to make the catch. I missed by a mile.lol. Anyway,I played guard the rest of the game.
At the time I WAS 6'1 220lbs. When we played Carson(predominately Samon) we got annihilated. 64-20.Those guys were huge. Our biggest guy was 6'6 280 lbs. They had guys 6'8" about 350. Our biggest guy would have been the smallest guy there.
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/09/04 09:17 PM
Here's me in one of my favorite outfits.
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/09/04 09:18 PM
I might not be good at book learning or answering problems, but i can do this pretty well
Posted by: deekay
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/10/04 07:27 PM
Dear Christina,
I only just started posting here, but I guess people already are giving me low ratings, I'm only 2 stars now and I know some people gave me 5s because I was a 5 the first couple days. I'm sad. How do I get more stars?
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/10/04 07:47 PM
Quote:
Dear Christina,
I only just started posting here, but I guess people already are giving me low ratings, I'm only 2 stars now and I know some people gave me 5s because I was a 5 the first couple days. I'm sad. How do I get more stars?
Ah, glad you asked deekay. Best way is to go after posters that are hated here. Such as smartt, swami and pussy power. It will get you onside with the majority of posters here and they will feel inclined to give you high star ratings. The same used to be true about going after the monkey but he lost his edge when sammura left with his heart and his left testicle. Not to mention the bag of cat food and half a pack of corn chips.
Posted by: deekay
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/10/04 08:18 PM
Cool, so this place is totally "Mean Girls." I'm really not that naturally bitchy, but that Smartt does seem like kind of a douchebag. I'll get right on it!
Posted by: ChickenMaster
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/10/04 09:18 PM
Dear Christina,
I think Smartt might be gay and coming on to me. What should I do? I am genuinely scared
, I refer you to this thread:
http://www.xxxporntalk.com//ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=nonporntalk&Number=40472&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=&vc=1
Specifically this quote:
Quote:
Thanks schmanks, bend over and drop your pants!
HELP ME!!! 
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/06/04 10:04 PM
Hi boys im back. Sorry that i haven't being posting much, we had a little trouble with the media thinking i was still in high school in spain, but it has all been sorted out now. Looking forward to a new batch of questions, here is a new image of me to get you typing.
Posted by: have2cit
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/09/04 11:37 AM
Dear Christina,
Now that the awful crack ogre sammura is banned yet again will xxxpt ever get back to normal?
PS I love your tig o bitties
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/09/04 05:30 PM
Quote:
Dear Christina,
Now that the awful crack ogre sammura is banned yet again will xxxpt ever get back to normal?
Hi sweetie, is this a trick question?. I don't recall xxxporntalk ever being normal. It will just smell a lot less like catfood and cornchips and thats a good start.
XXX OOO Xtina
Posted by: kyoto
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/09/04 06:12 PM
Dear Christina,
two questions for you.
1. are you a natural blonde?
2. does smartt smell like horse shit?
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/09/04 08:17 PM
Quote:
Dear Christina,
two questions for you.
1. are you a natural blonde?
2. does smartt smell like horse shit?
Hey, the answer to the first question is no, im not a natural blonde and i have never been in the same room as smartt at the same time, thankfully. Fingers and toes crossed that i never will be either.
I got a private message from someone asking the best sleeping postion for good back support, so i took the liberty to have a photo of me showing the best sleeping postion to relieve pressure off you back. enjoy
XXX OOO Xtina.
Posted by: have2cit
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/14/04 12:05 PM
Dear Christina,
I see a tattoo peeking out from behind your panties (yes I am staring that closely). Can you tell me what it is?
Since you are already tatted and pierced up I was wondering when you will start your stripping/porn career?
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/14/04 06:12 PM
Quote:
Dear Christina,
I see a tattoo peeking out from behind your panties (yes I am staring that closely). Can you tell me what it is?
Since you are already tatted and pierced up I was wondering when you will start your stripping/porn career?
Thanks for the question sweetie, its of a red chilli, because im hot and spicy. 
. I don't have any real desire to strip or do porn, monkey likes the fact he is the only penis getting into the xtina canyon. Women are good though, if i was to do it i think i would be an all girl performer,
XXX OOO Xtina. I have enclosed a little picture of myself in my over the top tasteless blue top, hope you like.
Posted by: have2cit
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/16/04 03:40 AM
Dear Christina,
Some say the monkey is Chico Wang, others say Fayner, and still more say Taylor Rain. You know the monkey well, will you tell us all? Please?
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/16/04 04:19 AM
Quote:
Dear Christina,
Some say the monkey is Chico Wang, others say Fayner, and still more say Taylor Rain. You know the monkey well, will you tell us all? Please?
NICE. Sorry xtina is not at liberty to say.
(whispers mike tyson)
Posted by: Toelicker
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/16/04 02:14 PM
Dude, say (s)he's not Taylor.
If so, take care of Bandit.
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/16/04 03:13 PM
Quote:
Dude, say (s)he's not Taylor.
If so, take care of Bandit.
Dude even that has freaked me out, imagine if i was taylor rain. 
If that turned out to be the truth how many people would that fuck up for life?. Monkey is taylor rain, some people wouldn't be able to recover.
Posted by: Cleetus VanDamme
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/16/04 05:03 PM
I don't think there is any way that Monkey is a female- the sense of humor is too manly ( unless you were that decent looking Jewish comedian chick whose name I forget- but she is cool though- c'mon you know who i'm thinking of)
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/16/04 05:16 PM
Quote:
I don't think there is any way that Monkey is a female- the sense of humor is too manly ( unless you were that decent looking Jewish comedian chick whose name I forget- but she is cool though- c'mon you know who i'm thinking of)
Shit, now you're getting warmer, im not Sarah Silverman though.
Posted by: Cerberus
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/16/04 06:25 PM
Christina, Christina
Well I never thought. That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught. We were just sitting in the back seat, just shootin the breeze. With her hair up in curlers and her pants to he knees.
Signed Just Married.
Posted by: Cleetus VanDamme
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/16/04 06:34 PM
Quote:
Quote:
I don't think there is any way that Monkey is a female- the sense of humor is too manly ( unless you were that decent looking Jewish comedian chick whose name I forget- but she is cool though- c'mon you know who i'm thinking of)
Shit, now you're getting warmer, im not Sarah Silverman though.
LOL- you bastard I knew you would know who I was thinking of- you may be a clone
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/16/04 08:29 PM
Sorry guys, i live in florida and we had to haul ass out of there a few days ago, i was coming back from my practice with my new all girl pop rock group called the Christina and the kitty kats and as soon as i got home i saw my 7 brothers , sister, grandma and pa, and my mom all out the front with all out stuff packed and ready to go. I didn't even have time to get dressed, i have enclosed a picture of what i was wearing during 400000000 mile winds for 2 days. I think we might need to rethink the band's image and dress sense because i almost lost a nipple during the whole ordeal.
As for the question posted above, its not really a question but marriage is a great thing, if you leave the door shut, her legs shut and your fly zipped, open marriages never work. Ask tommy lee.
XXX OOO Xtina lead vocals.
Posted by: have2cit
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/20/04 11:45 AM
Dear Christina,
Will all this hate on sammura take away hate from smarTTboy? Can this board keep this much hate up for very long? Will BGOL finally ban sammura as well?
Thanks
PS How much would it take to fuck your tits or just jerk off on them?
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/20/04 03:27 PM
Quote:
Dear Christina,
Will all this hate on sammura take away hate from smarTTboy? Can this board keep this much hate up for very long? Will BGOL finally ban sammura as well?
Thanks
PS How much would it take to fuck your tits or just jerk off on them?
Like the hurricanes in florida the hate will end in the cage. Just stay possitive and remember that life ain't all bad.
My boobs are sperm free and will remain that way thank you very much.
Posted by: baja
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/20/04 04:55 PM
I am asking this on behalf of a female friend who happens to be in the army, she loves the camouflage green but wants to still look sexy for her partner, can you pose in anything that can incorporate both, is it possible to look distant and sexy at the same time too?. Love on behalf of baja's female army friend.
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/20/04 05:01 PM
Quote:
I am asking this on behalf of a female friend who happens to be in the army, she loves the camouflage green but wants to still look sexy for her partner, can you pose in anything that can incorporate both, is it possible to look distant and sexy at the same time too?. Love on behalf of baja's female army friend.
Thanks for the question, first off i would like to thank your friend for her service to this country and the world. I think the following picture helps answer all 4 parts of your question
xxxooo xtina lead singer of the kitty kats (with a k)
Posted by: 2cums
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/20/04 07:24 PM
Dear Christina,
1. Whats your sexual preference? Are you into men? Women? Both?
2. When are you going to be in a more professional photo shoot? (the wrinkled bed sheet backdrop has got to go)
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/20/04 07:31 PM
Quote:
Dear Christina,
1. Whats your sexual preference? Are you into men? Women? Both?
2. When are you going to be in a more professional photo shoot? (the wrinkled bed sheet backdrop has got to go)
Thanks for the question
1. I don't really have a preference. I mean it changes back and forth day to day, some days you feel like an apple and others a orange.
2. Well all the photos are done at the smelly monkey productions offices and as a lot of you know he is anti any and everything jill kelly productions and a big focus in all their stuff is exotic backdrops , so monkey tends to do the complete opposite to what JK is doing, besides he says the photo should be all about the girl and not whats behind her. Although i would love a free trip to fiji, or somewhere exotic.
Posted by: baja
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/29/04 08:06 PM
Dear christina, im an avid runner but i have noticed that i have been getting a stiffness in my groin, i have tried stretching it normally but i can't quite stretch out the muscle that is causes me the most problems, do you have any suggestions or solutions to this problem?, thanks baja.
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/29/04 08:09 PM
Quote:
Dear christina, im an avid runner but i have noticed that i have been getting a stiffness in my groin, i have tried stretching it normally but i can't quite stretch out the muscle that is causes me the most problems, do you have any suggestions or solutions to this problem?, thanks baja.
Thanks for the question baja, before i became the supermodel i am now i used to be quite a distance runner myself and here is a stretch that i found helped with what seems to be bothering you. (as pictured below),
XXX OOO Xtina.
Posted by: GARFIELD
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 09/30/04 07:23 PM
Dear Christina...will U Marry Me...LOL
Posted by: Toelicker
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 10/01/04 03:54 PM
Dear Christina, can I lick your feet?
Posted by: pornloser78
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 10/02/04 06:23 AM
Dear Christina,
I was debating on setting my genitals on fire, what would you suggest as the best accelerant?
Posted by: pornloser78
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 10/03/04 04:51 PM
fuck Christina behold the sexiest being on the internet
THE ALL MIGHTY SWAMI
Posted by: have2cit
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 10/05/04 10:38 AM
Dear Christina,
I am glad to see with sammurra and swami gone the amount of hate aimed at smartt has ratcheted up to a really nice level on this board. This not only gives me a special feeling in my woody but also brings joy-joy feelings to my heart. I was wondering what steps would you recommend to raise the level of hate even more?
Thanks
PS More hot pics pleeeeeaaaaase!
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 10/05/04 02:00 PM
thanks h2c. Heres a few pics for you, starting with patriotic christina and then followed by i hate gravity christina.
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 10/18/04 06:51 PM
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 10/18/04 06:51 PM
Posted by: 2cums
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 10/19/04 02:17 PM
Dear Christina,
Why the silent treatment on the board?
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 10/19/04 02:22 PM
Quote:
Dear Christina,
Why the silent treatment on the board?
Now that xtina and the kitty kats have a record contract , i think im too good for the common man like my idol jennifer lopez. Nothing personal.
Posted by: Cerberus
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 10/19/04 03:14 PM
Dear Christina,
Please let us know the release date of the CD. I'm all tingly in anticipation.
Thank you
Future Fan
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 05/05/05 09:52 AM
Guess whos back?
Posted by: pariah
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 05/05/05 11:31 AM
I have a question or two for you miss Christina. 1. What is your prediction on the Lockwood / Wankus fight? 2. Will I make it to heaven?
Posted by: Bornyo
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 05/05/05 11:37 AM
Cristina, this is Cytheria. I have real sensitive feet. Do you know a quick cure for plantars warts?
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 05/05/05 11:22 PM
Quote:
I have a question or two for you miss Christina. 1. What is your prediction on the Lockwood / Wankus fight? 2. Will I make it to heaven?
Hi sweetie, the wankus/ lockwood fight will end in a draw. As for question 2 some people say heaven is on earth if you look hard enough. I don't believe those people but what i do believe is that i can make mismatching panties and bra work, see.
Quote:
Cristina, this is Cytheria. I have real sensitive feet. Do you know a quick cure for plantars warts?
Well, first she has to stop letting ex marines have shots at her bare feet thats for one, try not to leave wet socks on her feet for long periods of time, and remember to pack lots of towels when going after charlie. As for fixing an existing problem i suggest to see a doctor that specializes in that area.
Posted by: Random
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 05/05/05 11:43 PM
Recently, while in L.A. for business, I stopped by the world famous Pink's for a hot dog and was accosted in an inappropriate sexual manner. As I was leaving, a strange looking chubby man with a fu manchu mustache, bleached hairtips, a red bandana and a sleeveless Dolphins shirt grabbed my crotch. Because I had four chili cheese dogs in my hand, I was unable to pry his hands loose. I was mortified and helpless. Before I could scream for help, the man jumped into a running car driven by a woman who sort of resembled Howie Long.
So my question is this; should I contact the authorities or just let it go? I feel the shame of telling my story to the police may be too much for me to handle. Please Christina, help me.
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 05/05/05 11:51 PM
Quote:
Recently, while in L.A. for business, I stopped by the world famous Pink's for a hot dog and was accosted in an inappropriate sexual manner. As I was leaving, a strange looking chubby man with a fu manchu mustache, bleached hairtips, a red bandana and a sleeveless Dolphins shirt grabbed my crotch. Because I had four chili cheese dogs in my hand, I was unable to pry his hands loose. I was mortified and helpless. Before I could scream for help, the man jumped into a running car driven by a woman who sort of resembled Howie Long.
So my question is this; should I contact the authorities or just let it go? I feel the shame of telling my story to the police may be too much for me to handle. Please Christina, help me.
Welcome to everyday of my life honey. Best to put your best foot forward and the worst mexican grab hand back. I would take it into my own hands if i was you, taser gun up, keep going back to the place where it happend around the same time the incident took place, these people like keep showing up at the scene of the crime, when you finally see him again, taser him in his family gift area, then as he is doubled over in pain, explain to him why you did it, like a dog that shits on the carpet, rub its nose it in and it knows not to do it again.
Posted by: Bornyo
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 05/06/05 12:23 AM
Christina, surely your last answer regarding incidents in a Taco Bell warranted a picture. Could you please post another?
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 05/06/05 10:46 AM
Christina i have a question. What is a parent to do when your 16 year old girl comes to you asking for a $1600 prom dress?. Is there anyway you can make your little girl happy without having to spend that amount for a dress that will be used once?.
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 05/06/05 10:52 AM
Funny you should ask monkey. My father and i had similar problems when i was younger. He taught me a great trick to please me and his wallet. Around the first time i first asked him for a dress for my prom the JonBenet Ramsey thing had happened. Now my father knew where they laid her body to rest , he went to the grave site the night before my prom and the next morning i had a beautiful beauty pageant like dress, it was a few sizes too small and gave me the extra motivation to lose those few extra pounds before the big night, so a few hours in the bathroom and i was looking fabulous and had the dress of my dreams.
So i suggest you go to random funerals and do some window shopping, mark down the name and then come back at night with and hunt down the grave.
Posted by: c62
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 05/07/05 09:40 PM
Christina, did you have some work done under the hood? Your tits seem to have gotten bigger.
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 05/09/05 04:05 AM
Quote:
Christina, did you have some work done under the hood? Your tits seem to have gotten bigger.
Sorry honey, all real. Check out the picture they sink , fakes float. Like sandra bullock movies.
Posted by: have2cit
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 05/11/05 05:45 AM
Dear Christina,
I am thankful for many things. The most important being Dave Chapelle. Not only has he made it fashionable for me to call another man a bitch, but he has made it possible for white guys to use the word "nigger" (that's right, I said it).
What are you thankful for?
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you - 10/23/05 07:09 AM
(sorry this is monkey, i had to edit out her last name, she sometimes forgets what world we live in, kyoto still lingers in the shadows)
Hello boys, sorry for the long break, i just had my first child, hes a healthy boy jermajesty paige frankston tr*****. I'm sure you guys have a whole load of problems that you might need help answering, im all ears and so is jermajesty, ain't you (wow he just spit up, so cute
)
I know i look a little heavier, this was taken 6 weeks after giving birth, thank god for billy blanks.
Posted by: Bornyo
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 10/23/05 09:17 AM
Congratulations Christina,
Breastfeeding or formula for jermajesty?
Posted by: Random
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 10/23/05 10:53 PM
Hello again Christina. You look wonderful and congratulations.
To get right to it, I'm very conflicted. You see, I've recently acquired a taste for rough sex. I never thought I could be that kind of person, and quite frankly, I'm a little embarrassed. I guess watching all those Brandon Iron videos brought out the beast in me, lol.
My friends say violence that occurs during sex is okay. I want to believe them, and I think I do, but I just wanted a woman's opinion before I proceed.
So what I'm really asking is this: If I kick my girl in the face with a pair of steel-toe Doc Martens while she's naked and on her knees in front of me, that would be okay, right?
Thanks in advance for your words of wisdom.
Posted by: have2cit
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 10/24/05 06:43 AM
Dear Christina,
I know we have spoken about this in the past, but I think it's worth rehashing so here goes. You know the Monkey very well can you tell me his identity? I am actually hoping that he is none other than our midget mod Gen Padova that way when the truth is finally revealed jrv and smartt will kill themselves by gargling broken glass. TIA for your help in this matter and congratulations on the blessed event.
P. S. better not tell maged.
Posted by: have2cit
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 10/24/05 06:57 AM
P. P. S. jrv + smartt + gargling broken glass =
Posted by: hsteele
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 10/25/05 04:12 PM
watching bradon's videos would give you a taste for more than just 'rough' sex lol
Posted by: jamesn
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 02/28/06 11:18 AM
bump
Posted by: Bornyo
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/15/06 01:15 PM
Killer thread. I miss all the pics.
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/16/06 07:46 AM
Quote:
Killer thread. I miss all the pics.
We kinda lost touch, she married this russian pimp guy 25 years her senior that i was totally against and told her as much, he wasn't a good dude, he had a strong resemblance to veteran actor of both stage and screen mr julian sands
But she said she loved him and that i was wrong so it soured our relationship (as friends), turns out my instincts were right as i received a message on my voicemail a few months later from christina who said that her husband was trafficking her as a sex slave up through Uruguay and threatening to kill her if she tried to run away, she pleaded for my help but at the time i was returning "a time to kill" to my blockbuster video/dvd store and was unable to field the call to get the appropriate info to attempt a life saving mission in the hopes of allowing her the chance to put the pieces to her life back together and further her promising career as a nude model.
Posted by: Bornyo
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/16/06 09:50 AM
Well damn, that sucks. If you hear from her again ask her if she knows how I can get squirrels out of my attic.
Posted by: Bornyo
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 08/22/06 10:33 AM
Posted by: Bornyo
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 11/06/06 07:25 AM
Christina, will you introduce me to Quinne?
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 11/06/06 06:43 PM
Quote:
Christina, will you introduce me to Quinne?
Is someone 8 months pregnant?. It looks like someone needs to add a gym membership to her registry for the fanboys to buy her.
Posted by: Bornyo
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 05/09/07 03:42 PM
To hell with Darth, I'm asking my questions here.
Posted by: Conky
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 05/09/07 03:47 PM
Hey! I remember this thread! I should've signed up earlier for this one.
Posted by: Bornyo
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 06/25/07 11:14 AM
I think Christina's selling T-shirts.
I'll take two.
Posted by: Bornyo
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/13/07 06:16 PM
I doubt the link will last. Save it while you can.
Posted by: Evil Klown
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/13/07 08:22 PM
Posted by: Conky
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y - 07/14/07 10:25 AM
Krochus, your avatar rocks but your blue box doesn't.
Posted by: Bornyo
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you - 08/11/12 09:56 AM
It's a low-down, dirty shame...
Posted by: Smelly Monkey
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you - 09/09/12 02:00 AM
I have gone back and forth on how to feel about this, and i've decided that its salvageable, the issue her is her thighs (obviously), but her face is in good shape, there doesn't appear to be any excessive drug or alcohol damage, cheeks aren't sunken, so its either a bad diet (possible) or a loose kid or two (unfortunately this is more than likely), its just a firming up job, a thigh master for an hour a night 3-4 times a week for 3-4 months and doing an hour or so on a treadmill a few times a week should get her into form.
I say buy if the price is right, she has some life yet.
Posted by: Anonymous
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you - 09/09/12 05:02 AM
Somewhat off topic, but it came up in conversation recently: This is about what I'd expect Ceara's ballooned into. Anyway, ain't no amount of toning going to fix that without some plastic surgeon getting rid of the excess skin, and that inflates the price beyond reason.
Edited to add: And what's with that... ummm... blotch on her right side, between the fat folds? Is that a tat or some South American attempt at hiding an appendectomy scar?
Posted by: CharlieYup
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you - 11/12/21 02:10 PM
Stumbled on this today, and thought I'd seen her mentioned here.
Christinamodel does G-G softcore porn.
http://en.nyuu.info/v/s://www.youjizz.com/videos/christina-model---tub-37556811.html/title/Christina%20Model%20-%20Tub%20[30:11x360p]
Below that video will be several other of her videos
