Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn
Posted by: Mark_J
Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/05/08 01:40 AM
Welcome to the "Alligator Olympics" -- a celebration of the worst teeth in porn. Some might say "you don't look a gift whore in the mouth", but my contention is "why can't these girls make their first stop with a fresh paycheck be the dentist rather than the plastic surgeon?" Nooooo.. instead they're busy with implants. This thread may seem nitpicky, but teeth are important to people. Just ask a woman where she ranks a good set of teeth on a guy in terms of must-haves - it's usually in her top three. People are merely self-important animals that have been evolving for a long time with genetic programming that seeks out, among other criteria, physical "symmetry" in the opposite sex. Among the many genetic indicators of symmetry are teeth, and we know a bad set when we see it. We know.
So, sit back, relax and contribute your entrants into the Alligator Olympics or just enjoy the trainwreck - pics of female performers that seem capable of devouring an apple through a chainlink fence, look like they've been eating concrete sandwiches, or maybe even instill a fear that if they happened to sneeze with your cock in their mouth, you might be waking up in the emergency room. Remember, we're not just talking about girls with two big rabbit incisor front teeth, we're talking about teeth that look like they could trim the bark from a tree with beaver-like efficiency. We're also talking about girls that don't own a toothbrush.
If a girl's got a snaggle-tooth trying to start a second row of teeth, post it. If her teeth are yellow, brown or black, post it. If it's photoshopped or retouched, that's no fun. Admittedly its hard to find photos of bad teeth since most websites at least will not post the pics from their shoots that feature the bad choppers at the wrong moment; however video doesn't lie.
Posted by: Mark_J
First Four Contestants In The Alligator Olympics - 10/05/08 01:41 AM
I'll kick off the Alligator Olympics with four girls and more to follow soon:
Missy Stone: Young gorgeous teen with giant eyes; appears to buy her eye shadow at costco in the 5 gallon industrial drum size; she never works without it. She's got an extra snaggle tooth sitting by itself up on its own second row, apparently trying to fly standby on a plane that's already full. They'll probably have to put her under to yank it, and utilizing high tension cable, the other end would have to be tied to the hitch of a monster truck idling in the parking lot. She just needs that push of encouragement. Don't get me wrong - I'd walk over glass to wash her feet, but "christ on a bike!"
Shy Love: According to one website she went under the knife recently to have her implants refreshed from saline to silicone, but still no love for the massive overbite that's still gone untreated.
Lily: Euro newcomer that's shot for a for a few sites - utterly cute until she smiles (and even then its somewhat charming). A lack of good dentists are a known problem that continues to plague eastern europe, so its a bit more forgivable in Lily's case than stars working in SoCal with access to many excellent dentists but just "never get around to it".
Lisa Sparkle: Another east-euro girl (prague or budapest, i forget). Early in her career she had an extra snaggle tooth trying to start its own second row of teeth, but at some point she had it pulled. Pictured here is a scene, post-dentist; nevertheless still a remarkable set of rock crushers and not much less intimidating than the idea of plunging your manhood into a bowl full of razor blades.
That's it for now. Bless these specimens of living proof that god still has a sense of humor.
Posted by: *L*G*
Re: First Four Contestants In The Alligator Olympics - 10/05/08 03:07 AM
McKenzie Lee
Posted by: Holly Randall
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/05/08 09:16 AM
Quote:
"why can't these girls make their first stop with a fresh paycheck be the dentist rather than the plastic surgeon?" Nooooo.. instead they're busy with implants.
I can't agree with you more-- but I would imagine that most of these teeth issues require braces, which have to stay on for at least a year. Going under the knife means you can be back to work in 3 weeks. I have a crooked tooth on my bottom row of teeth, but my overbite tends to hide it. 
My parents are English so I didn't get braces (go figure) and by the time it began to bother me I was too old and too vain to wire my teeth up.
Posted by: Mark_J
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/05/08 11:12 AM
Quote:
Quote:
"why can't these girls make their first stop with a fresh paycheck be the dentist rather than the plastic surgeon?" Nooooo.. instead they're busy with implants.
I can't agree with you more-- but I would imagine that most of these teeth issues require braces, which have to stay on for at least a year. Going under the knife means you can be back to work in 3 weeks. I have a crooked tooth on my bottom row of teeth, but my overbite tends to hide it. My parents are English so I didn't get braces (go figure) and by the time it began to bother me I was too old and too vain to wire my teeth up.
Good point about them maybe not wanting to deal with braces for a long time, though at least for younger starlets I can't imagine it would stop their phone from ringing, especially given the teen / barely legal genre that's a driving force in new releases.
They actually have less of an excuse these days with modern dental implements - not only have clear braces existed for years but more significantly products like "Invisalign" have appeared which is a clear tray in the front and a single wire in the back of the row of teeth - my g/f got these instead of braces and ended up with perfect choppers. They don't fix all problems but point is there are many options these days.
Anyway this thread is meant tongue-in-cheek rather than in any mean-spirited or schadenfreude way, so I'll leave the preaching at that.
Posted by: loopnode
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/05/08 12:29 PM
Quote:
My parents are English so I didn't get braces (go figure)
Oi! 
Posted by: NitneLiun
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/05/08 01:44 PM
Quote:
My parents are English so I didn't get braces (go figure) and by the time it began to bother me I was too old and too vain to wire my teeth up.
Did they at least let you brush your teeth once in a while? Did they make you by your own tubes of Crest because they didn't see any need to indulge you with frivolity?
Posted by: Mark_J
Introducing Contestant #5: Alicia Alighatti - 10/05/08 02:27 PM
Alicia Alighatti: That's her porn name, but today we'll call her "Madame Guillotine". She's another cute star that bares a resemblance both in looks and in TeEtH to Missy Stone; almost as if they both sprang forth from the same mother's loins (and genetics). This face is what Missy Stone might look like without the eye shadow. It's sheer coincidence that her last name "Alighatti" is so close to the word "Alligator" - perhaps an agent somewhere helped her think of a name and he still cracks up that it went over her head.
In this photo we see a guy that doesn't place much value on his finger giving its proximity to her little white guillotines. Ever see that 5000-frame-per-second slow motion video of a frog lashing out to snap a fly? His fingertip could be gone faster than that were she to feel like a quick snack.
Posted by: Mark_J
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/05/08 02:45 PM
Quote:
Where can I find more Lily? 
@Zenman:
mikesapartment. yeah she's cute but get your dick insured first, since the preview pics don't allude to the terror that lurks within.
Posted by: Anonymous
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/05/08 03:17 PM
Quote:
Where can I find more Lily?
I agree.
Posted by: gia jordan
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/05/08 05:07 PM
This thread rocks! It has bite.
Posted by: Bill Hicks
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/05/08 06:09 PM
Jenni Lee's gorgeous, but has/had bad teeth. I think Holly or Suze's shot her before.
Posted by: Random
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/05/08 09:44 PM
This is the kind of thread the Cage was built for. Keep on keepin' on, brother Mark.
Posted by: Eminence Front
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/05/08 10:01 PM
Melody Love had that snaggle tooth issue as well, I really didn't mind it, imperfections can sometimes be a turn on.
Posted by: Mark_J
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/05/08 10:31 PM
Quote:
This is the kind of thread the Cage was built for. Keep on keepin' on, brother Mark.
Much thanks - I'll keep posting more then. I've read some comments in other threads (from females) that threads like this one and the "she has dead inside eyes" thread only serve to further "humiliate" the female talent and that we're somehow here to kick dirt into their faces in some mean-spirited way.
Not so. Most of us including myself would still worship at the feet of most of the starlets with the opportunity, and the tongue-in-cheek nature of these threads aren't much different than the mainstream rag mags, TMZ or perez hilton posting pics of vacationing hollywood stars on the beach and drawing circles around their cellulite for everyone's amusement.
We tease because we love.
Since I'm new to posting here after lurking a few months I figured I'd try breaking up the monotony of "escalating one line insults" that many threads tend to be on here - that's not the way to grow the user base.
Posted by: 3SB
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/06/08 11:55 AM
Sunny Lane's skin is whiter than her teeth.
Posted by: IWAdult
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/06/08 12:08 PM
Quote:
Sunny Lane's skin is whiter than her teeth.
I have no idea why this girl is popular. 
Posted by: *L*G*
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/06/08 01:29 PM
Quote:
Quote:
Sunny Lane's skin is whiter than her teeth.
I have no idea why this girl is popular.
dude 95% of girls in the porn industry are ugly as fuck or but they are popular because they do what other girl doesn't dare do... being a whore on video
Posted by: loopnode
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/07/08 10:14 PM
Quote:
I have no idea why this girl is popular.
I've never heard of her before.
Posted by: 3SB
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/08/08 11:22 AM
Naudia Marie
Posted by: GUAPO
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/08/08 04:00 PM
Quote:
Naudia Marie
nadia marie teeth look like her tongue was the staging of a roadside bomb.
Posted by: Gigi
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/08/08 05:46 PM
three days and no jersey jaxsin pics? for shame.
Posted by: tattypatty
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/08/08 06:43 PM
Sorry, Gigi!
Posted by: Mark_J
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/08/08 06:48 PM
Nice one - those rock crushers could definitely take your bell end off with the ease of breaking a snap pea in two.
There's still one more girl I really wanted to add but can't put a name to again - I'm thinking of a particular RLD scene, might've been a Throat Gaggers volume. The director teases her about her teeth before the action starts, then guy #1 throws his dick in and laughs "we're gonna bang your teeth straight!" I remember her having a lot of eye shadow and a snaggle tooth as well.
I realize I've just described every porn scene made, but FFS.. the girl I'm thinking of might just take the crown if I could remember..
Posted by: tattypatty
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/08/08 07:43 PM
Funny thing: That's not the worst pic I've seen of JJ's teeth, just one I could find off hand. You can literally chart her time in the biz by the deterioration of her chompers...
Posted by: BIFF™
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/09/08 01:24 AM
As I've said prevously that I'm the undiplomatic kind, Mark you sir, are gaining my approval. Bravo.
Posted by: Jeff Steward
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/09/08 09:17 AM
Great thread dude. Monkey would be proud to have this in his cage.
Posted by: Mark_J
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/09/08 12:04 PM
Muchos gracias.. working on a few more entries as we speak. There's just something so bittersweet and downright mesmerizing about a beautiful girl with the teeth of a homeless woman - I can't put my finger on it.
If someone started a thread about 'fattest' pornstars, or 'ugliest tattoos, C-section scars or stretch marks' I wouldn't really care - meh.
More to come..
Posted by: faceblaster
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/09/08 05:43 PM
The lovely Nicole Ray
Posted by: faceblaster
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/09/08 05:54 PM
Bree Barrett.
Posted by: RenfieldGyps
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/09/08 06:31 PM
Dont forget cute lil Leah Luv. Her braces always had load of cum stuck to the metal.
Posted by: Willie D
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/09/08 10:38 PM
I got this vid a few years back called "Me Luv You Long Time 4." One of the whores was a hot little Asian slit called "Joy Lodeeva." She had a great body, but her teeth were more fucked up than a Dara Fjord thought process.
Posted by: Bornyo
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/09/08 10:49 PM
Quote:
The lovely Nicole Ray
This girl is in the lead... far and away.
Posted by: tattypatty
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/09/08 11:43 PM
Kelly Kline.
Posted by: tattypatty
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/09/08 11:52 PM
Leigh Malvo
Posted by: Brandon_Iron
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 12:59 AM
Autumn Skye's teeth are normal. A few fillings, good alignment. But the tongue mutilation bothers me. Leave that pink muscle alone to do its job!
Samantha Sixxx practices good oral hygiene. I wonder where she gets all that calcium?
Madison Ivy: Someone's been using Invisilign! Good for you!
Posted by: Mark_J
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 01:17 AM
Faceblaster! My man, you snatched up the football that came loose from the dogpile and ran with it to the endzone. Excellent find with Nicole. An otherwise beautiful face + snaggle tooth on top row + bashed in set of piano keys on the bottom row = HAT TRICK.
To think Nicole Ray was right under our noses all this time with those lawnmowers.
I've officially been put on notice - NOW we got a contest, baby.
Posted by: BIFF™
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 01:23 AM
Leave it up to the walking petri dish, herpes simplex 10³ having irons to shit on a great thread. Fuck you midget.
Posted by: Mark_J
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 01:28 AM
Quote:
Leave it up to the walking petri dish, herpes simplex 10³ having irons to shit on a great thread. Fuck you midget.
I think that was the "commercial break", BIFF. As long as he continues to command the churning of birthing serum onto teen faces like a civil war general ordering cannons fired, he's got diplomatic immunity in my book.
Posted by: Brandon_Iron
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 01:30 AM
Fire the next salvo!
Jayda Diamond mouth is nearly perfect. Just one tooth that needs a love tap into place.
Posted by: Mark_J
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 02:19 AM
Brandon you seem awfully calm for someone that stared JAWS directly in the eyes and lived (hint: Lisa Sparkle in opening post).
In other news, I think I've found my Nicole Ray killer (i'm looking at you, faceblaster).
Posted by: Smell of Anus
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 08:54 AM
Quote:
Leigh Malvo
holy shit... that is disgusting... and I'm not talking about her teeth...
Posted by: Spunko
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 08:54 AM
Quote:
Leigh Malvo
Her name is actually "Leigh Malvo"???
Posted by: 3SB
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 10:45 AM
Quote:
Leigh Malvo
I honestly don't know a single guy who would stick his dick into that head, but apparently someone out there has. *shudders*
Posted by: Anonymous
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 11:24 AM
Quote:
Her name is actually "Leigh Malvo"???
Good catch. Is her middle name "Boyd?" I get the feeling "Alec James" Irons named her.
Posted by: 3SB
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 11:28 AM
Brandon writes about the name
here. Quote:
Leigh Malvo is not the same as Lee Boyd Malvo, got it??!! The former is an impressionable 18-year-old who bags groceries for $7.75 an hour at a supermarket in Burbank. The latter is the Jamaican-born American teen convicted in the Beltway sniper killings in 2004.  He received a life imprisonment penalty while his older accomplice, John Allan Muhammad, received the dealth penalty.
Leigh Malvo, not a danger to society:Â http://hidebehind.com/62F41F
Lee Boyd Malvo, will shoot you while you pump gas:Â http://hidebehind.com/7E831A
Leigh Malvo just wants to love you…..for a little bit of money:Â http://hidebehind.com/2B9CB2
Lee Boyd Malvo, wants $10 million ransom or he’ll kill again:Â http://hidebehind.com/46B8BF
Leigh Malvo is willing to have sex with random strangers:Â http://hidebehind.com/ED31F4
Lee Boyd Malvo is probably in Protective Custody, away from random strangers:Â http://hidebehind.com/0EEE64
So lay off Leigh. She spells her name differently and can’t help it if it’s a homonym for a mass murderer of 16 people.
Posted by: Anonymous
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 11:42 AM
So Alec James did name her. When do we get to see Davida Berkowitz and Jane Wilkes Booth?
Posted by: 3SB
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 12:06 PM
Quote:
Dont forget cute lil Leah Luv. Her braces always had load of cum stuck to the metal.
You mean like this:
Posted by: the unknown pervert
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 12:45 PM
Quote:
Forget the garden rake in her mouth for a second, where in the hell are the whites of her eyes?
Posted by: IWAdult
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 02:05 PM
Quote:
Leigh Malvo
Good god, i think we have a winner
Posted by: SexDJ
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 03:56 PM
Quote:
Quote:
Leigh Malvo
holy shit... that is disgusting... and I'm not talking about her teeth...
"I can't stop you, so if you're really gonna pick up a hooker..take a good look at her teeth. If she doesn't take care of them, she don't take care of anything else either."
--Loren Estelman's Amos Walker
Posted by: Mark_J
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 04:27 PM
6 copies of Leigh Malvo on this page now, I'm getting ill over here!
Enough already with the image included in the quoted replies!
I think the point is made and she's def in the running.
Remember these Olympics are about the worst teeth on a PW, not worst teeth + ugliest face. In other words an ugly face with moderately bad teeth shouldn't be given an edge over a beauty with five teeth missing; otherwise we could sit around all day posting pics of ugly PW's - fish in a barrel and not a challenge.
Just something to think about.
Posted by: Brandon_Iron
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 04:43 PM
He's right. Thank you for giving us fully-toothed people something to chew on.
Posted by: tattypatty
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/10/08 07:17 PM
Quote:
Quote:
Leigh Malvo
Good god, i think we have a winner
YAY!
Posted by: Smell of Anus
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/11/08 04:18 AM
Quote:
He's right. Thank you for giving us fully-toothed people something to chew on.
wtf man. I usually find the chicks you use pretty and very girl next door sexy. But what the FUCK were you thinking when that thing walked through your door? And how the FUCK did you end up sticking your dick in her??? 
Posted by: Brandon_Iron
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/11/08 10:44 AM
Leigh and I are still going strong. The joke, society, is on you.
Posted by: Blue
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/11/08 02:54 PM
Quote:
Leigh Malvo
Good god almighty.
So I gotta ask, if your male talent, and you show up to shoot your scene, and they introduce you to that, just what pray tell do you do? I'm not sure I could even get it up for that...
Posted by: Brandon_Iron
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/11/08 04:34 PM
My advice is to do exactly what she has to do: Suck it up and get the job done.
Posted by: faceblaster
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/11/08 07:59 PM
Kinzy Jo
Posted by: Bill Hicks
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/11/08 08:44 PM
Sweet fucking christ! Some of these creatures have a hard time passing as human!
Posted by: Brandon_Iron
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/12/08 02:19 AM
Do your precious HUMANS do
this to their fellow HUMANS......Huh??.....Do they?? That does it. I'm calling the police. This sick human trafficking must end now! I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore! Quick! Someone get Isis Taylor a rape kit. Let's find out what else she endured.
10 mins later:
Nurse: "Should we pump her stomach, Doctor?"
Doctor: "Do you think she has much more goo inside her?"
Nurse: (Looking down Isis's throat.) "Oh my God....Doctor! There is nothing
but goo inside this woman. How can an 18-year-old allow herself to be used as a big Kleenex to mop up messes? All that purity.....sob.....SOBBBBBB!!!"
Doctor: "Her model release says
www.loadmymouth.com. Man, I would think it would be better as a one-man bukakke for
www.covermyface.com. That's a quality pop, indeed. (shudders violently and continues to tremble) But....what....if....she....had....to....t-t-to....
eat....it?"
Nurse: "Oh Lord! Please help the lost soul who did this to her. This monster must be stopped!"
Posted by: 3SB
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/12/08 04:55 AM
For fuck's sake, Brandon. That picture is almost gonna make me start a thread about worst eyebrows. Get thee to a salon!
Posted by: Willie D
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/12/08 09:08 AM
^ Brandon Irons makes a living off women with jankity teeth, cleft lips, bad acne, whore faces and diseased vaginas. He's the human equivalent of the H5N1: he's here--we just have to tolerate him and control his outbreaks.
ed...Scratch that bit about the vaginas, he hasn't been near one in a long time. Probably not going to vote, either.
Posted by: RenfieldGyps
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/12/08 01:45 PM
Quote:
For fuck's sake, Brandon. That picture is almost gonna make me start a thread about worst eyebrows. Get thee to a salon!
Or spend 8 bucks on a good Revlon tweezer, she's got lots of frays.
Posted by: IWAdult
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/12/08 02:00 PM
Quote:
Quote:
For fuck's sake, Brandon. That picture is almost gonna make me start a thread about worst eyebrows. Get thee to a salon!
Or spend 8 bucks on a good Revlon tweezer, she's got lots of frays.
They're like little windshield wipers.
Posted by: RenfieldGyps
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/12/08 02:13 PM
^^You're funny, that made me choke on my cig smoke. I'd even send her the 8 bucks if she really needed it.
Posted by: Brandon_Iron
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/12/08 04:12 PM
Quote:
For fuck's sake, Brandon. That picture is almost gonna make me start a thread about worst eyebrows. Get thee to a salon!
3SB: Her eyebrows are what saved her left eye from being permanently blinded by millions of sperm cells tunnelling towards her retina. Those eyebrows are heroes.....HEROES!!!
Posted by: RenfieldGyps
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/12/08 04:21 PM
Quote:
Quote:
For fuck's sake, Brandon. That picture is almost gonna make me start a thread about worst eyebrows. Get thee to a salon!
3SB: Her eyebrows are what saved her left eye from being permanently blinded by millions of sperm cells tunnelling towards her retina. Those eyebrows are heroes.....HEROES!!!
See BI we're just trying to enhance her looks, she's attractive like I said before, she just needs a lttle tweezing or if she wants a bit of pain get them waxed, only cost 10 bucks plus a tip and sooo worth it. Just giving constructive advice. Don't take it to the butthole.
Posted by: IWAdult
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 10/13/08 09:33 AM
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
For fuck's sake, Brandon. That picture is almost gonna make me start a thread about worst eyebrows. Get thee to a salon!
3SB: Her eyebrows are what saved her left eye from being permanently blinded by millions of sperm cells tunnelling towards her retina. Those eyebrows are heroes.....HEROES!!!
See BI we're just trying to enhance her looks, she's attractive like I said before, she just needs a lttle tweezing or if she wants a bit of pain get them waxed, only cost 10 bucks plus a tip and sooo worth it. Just giving constructive advice. Don't take it to the butthole.
Bushy eyebrows are disgusting to me, I don’t care if they are cum brushes or not.
Posted by: Brandon_Iron
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 11/02/08 04:42 AM
Think of them as tiny tines to fork the cum into her mouth.
Posted by: isis taylor
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 01/24/09 10:38 AM
wow you guys are harsh.....
here are my eyebrows now
you guys are harsher then a reviewboard
Posted by: RenfieldGyps
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 01/24/09 11:19 AM
Much much better Isis, welcome to the board, and dont listen to us haters, we tend to be mean, but Im sure everyone on here is a teddybear.
Posted by: tattypatty
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 01/24/09 11:35 AM
Haha plenty of hate here. I really like the straight hair.....
Posted by: *L*G*
Re: First Four Contestants In The Alligator Olympics - 01/24/09 02:37 PM
Quote:
McKenzie Lee
yes, she is english
Posted by: freestylah
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 01/24/09 05:21 PM
Quote:
Haha plenty of hate here. I really like the straight hair.....
You have no idea about hate. Pure, real, intense hate.
Posted by: the unknown pervert
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 01/31/09 05:39 PM
Posted by: Mark_J
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 01/31/09 05:59 PM
That thread insults porners - how has it not been blown out of the water yet? I like how Dana popped out of the woodwork to reveal herself as a hypersensitive target - just bought herself inclusion in a future thread I'm working on.
Posted by: the unknown pervert
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 01/31/09 06:03 PM
^Did you see my reply to that post on the next page?
Posted by: cqd
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 01/31/09 06:06 PM
I did.
TUP, if ADT wanted to do a thread like this properly even before you take into account what posters would say the board would actually have to be willing to show pictures of porn.
Posted by: Mark_J
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 01/31/09 06:34 PM
I just thanked them for stealing yet another thread idea from here. The OP isn't just some noob, but someone registered there five years. It's my first ADT post- T minus 10 until it's nuked or edited.
I realize it hardly matters. That's the first time I've read a thread all the way through over there, and it was fucking mind numbing. The jelly spined "male" posters fumbling and backpeddling is embarrassing to all men- like they're bumping into knees trying to find a seat at the National Organization for Women.
Posted by: Dick Dastardly
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 01/31/09 07:22 PM
^^^ Not only that, Mark, but he's another member of the Jenna Haze superfan table, hence his screen name. I think he goes
TUP, maybe it's just me, but you changed alot since coming to XPT, or at least it's showing. You seem to gravitate here more than you do at GayDT, especially on topics like this.
Posted by: the unknown pervert
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 02/01/09 12:05 PM
It just depends on my mood. I do know that the ability to call a dog turd, a fully organic, renewable, multi-purpose, all natural, biodegradable, earth friendly piece of cutting edge bio-engineering technology instead of a dog turd is not a talent I possess.
If you checked my history at ADT I bet at least 75% of my posts would be either in the Polls or World News and Nonsense forums there. I'm not really interested in wishing half the Chatsworth work force happy birthday and answering who has the best ass in porn 752 times each year. Over here my posts are more spread out between General Porn, Shit List, Cage, and AWOP and I don't have to use as many linguistic tricks to get my point across without making moderators hyperventilate.
Posted by: Sacred Navajo Herbs
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 02/01/09 12:39 PM
Posted by: Bornyo
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 02/01/09 12:54 PM
T.U.P.: AMC has been running a Bronson marathon today.
Posted by: electrostatic
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 02/01/09 02:38 PM
Quote:
Quote:
Leigh Malvo
I honestly don't know a single guy who would stick his dick into that head, but apparently someone out there has. *shudders*
I dont know if, as a female, this should make me feel better or worser.
I would rather be a mass murderer than look like thaT. But if I looked like that I would probably become a mass muderer. Taking out my parents, better looking girls, all the men who rejected me, my therapist, my dentist, and maybe even my health insurance.
Still... If this is what's in, then I'm out but if it's not, and I still am not. Then wtf. I wish I could get in to the mind of men.
It would be much easier to be a mass murderer than to finally "figure things out".
Also I'd like to point out she reminds me of Alfalfa from The Little Rascals movie from the 90's.
Posted by: charin
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 02/01/09 02:43 PM
Quote:
Still... If this is what's in, then I'm out but if it's not, and I still am not. Then wtf. I wish I could get in to the mind of men.
-Chuck, Vegetarian fanboy
Posted by: electrostatic
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 02/01/09 03:13 PM
^ "Is in", Do men really think that's hot. Or not?? Either way she gets banged and people watch. (I think)... So she must be pretty right?...
Dont get me wrong it's not like I want to do porn or anything like that. I am just trying to figure out what men think is attractive.
I know people are different, ugh nevermind disregard my last posts except for the mass murder and Little Rascals parts.
Posted by: Dick Dastardly
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 02/01/09 05:50 PM
Quote:
...and I don't have to use as many linguistic tricks to get my point across without making moderators hyperventilate.
If you ever met Moderator Bill (from ADT), you know if wouldn't take much for him to breathe beavy. 
Quote:
Do men really think that's hot. Or not?? Either way she gets banged and people watch. (I think)... So she must be pretty right?...
Sure, but people like watching hockey fights & wrecks @ NASCAR events, too. My rebuttal question is, How pretty do you think THEY are?...since people watch?
Posted by: nassim
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 07/02/12 05:35 PM
Fuck! This thread definitely needs a bump. As soonas I have some free time and my netbook I'll post some pictures of Japanese porn stars.
Posted by: Anonymous
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 07/07/12 09:26 AM
Hi, Marty.
Posted by: Jerkules
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 07/07/12 09:56 AM
Nice sig nassim. Took me a while to remember typing that.
Posted by: Jimchoss
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 11/01/16 02:32 PM
http://i.imgur.com/KOF5Kah.gifHow about her? Do you know who she is? Her teeth are bad
Posted by: faceblaster
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 11/01/16 02:41 PM
Posted by: Willie D
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 11/01/16 04:10 PM
Her name is "Go fuck yourself Jimfaggot and get herpes for the rest of your life." You've been on this crusade on multiple boards now. No one can answer you faggot breath question, just just fucking get over it you piece of shit.
Posted by: backdoorman
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 11/02/16 04:39 PM
Jesus fuck, he's been told where to post this shit. What does it take to get sent to purgatory?
Posted by: J.B.
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 11/02/16 05:07 PM
What does it take to get sent to purgatory?
Just a heads up, and a moment when I'm not doing R/L shit. Thanks for the former.
Posted by: windsock
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 11/02/16 07:35 PM
Just think of the money Peter Jackson could've saved if he'd hired this lady instead overlaying expensive motion capture cgi overtop Andy Serkis.
Posted by: J.B.
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 11/05/16 06:15 AM
Posted by: Jake Malone's Ghost
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 11/05/16 08:41 AM
Jesus fuck, he's been told where to post this shit. What does it take to get sent to purgatory?
The real purgatory is oh so over-rated!
Posted by: Willie D
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 11/05/16 01:24 PM
I just noticed that buck-toothed whore called herself Leigh Malvo. Wasn't that the name of one of those DC snipers a few years back? Maybe she could change her name to Chandra Levy.
Posted by: J.B.
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 11/05/16 08:38 PM
Yep, and Alec James Irons named her.
Posted by: backdoorman
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 11/07/16 06:50 AM
Malvo was also the last name of a Billy Bob Thornton psycho character on Fargo the tv series.
Posted by: KidRibz
Re: Alligator Olympics: The Worst Teeth In Porn - 09/22/17 10:18 AM
^ She is fucking hideous. I watched Brondon's little interview with that skank, she was pretty proud to be out on bail.
