WillieD, Porn Jesus

Posted by: Conky

WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/04/07 04:12 PM



Dude, you made it. Now what was the plan you had again? I deleted the PM.

Congratulations on staying the course. And I noticed that I'm now Human Garbage. How appropriate. If he hadn't gone on vacation, The Fatman would've needed a newly invented category about now.
Posted by: jamesn

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/04/07 04:13 PM

congrats. i think you should be allowed to ban william hyde for 24 hours without anyone screaming censorship.
Posted by: J.B.

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/04/07 04:14 PM

Congrats my Irish Brother. Well Done.
Posted by: Gigi

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/04/07 04:21 PM



Quote:

If he hadn't gone on vacation, The Fatman would've needed a newly invented category about now.

"Porn Fiend"?
Posted by: Conky

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/04/07 04:29 PM

"Download Diva"
Posted by: Bornyo

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/04/07 04:31 PM

Congratulations WillieD.


Posted by: Sergio T.

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/04/07 04:36 PM

I remember back to the early days when all you needed was 2000 to be a Porn Jesus. Congrats Willie.
Posted by: k1ng

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/04/07 07:18 PM

I'm sure Willie appreciates the gesture, but he's probably more concerned about the Cards gettin waxed at home by the Metropolitans.

Posted by: Dick Dastardly

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/04/07 09:45 PM

Congrats, oh holy one.
Posted by: El Kabong

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/04/07 11:59 PM

Quote:

I'm sure Willie appreciates the gesture, but he's probably more concerned about the Cards gettin waxed at home by the Metropolitans.





Fucking Mets!

Props to Willie!
Posted by: Hyde

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/05/07 01:24 AM

Quote:

congrats. i think you should be allowed to ban william hyde for 24 hours without anyone screaming censorship.



You still haven't figured out we're the same person James? Wtf?
Posted by: The Ghost Is Toast

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/05/07 01:41 AM

Good goin' Willie
Posted by: Moxie

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/05/07 10:03 AM

To Mark The Special Day
Posted by: Darth

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/06/07 10:29 AM

Congratulations Willie!
Posted by: Willie D

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/06/07 10:38 AM

Quote:

Congratulations Willie!


I'm going to toss you from the site instead of Hyde, douchebag.
Posted by: Sergio T.

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/06/07 12:18 PM

Quote:

Quote:

Congratulations Willie!


I'm going to toss you from the site instead of Hyde, douchebag.


Just do it Willie, once and for all.
Posted by: JEHOVAH

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/06/07 12:58 PM

Willie, Congratulations on becoming a Porn Jesus. Which is a lot more useful than being THE Jesus. Lousy Hippie son of mine.
Posted by: Calvin

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/06/07 05:29 PM

My mom told me that Jesus cries when I touch myself. But why is he even watching? Pervert.

Anyway, he only got where is his because of his dad.
Posted by: JEHOVAH

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/06/07 05:49 PM

Don't remind me. I've been kicking myself for the last 2,000 years. I thought the sign over the door would look great: God & Son, Inc. He's been nothing buit a disappointment, I tell you.
Posted by: Calvin

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/06/07 06:13 PM

It's his work ethic I question. Busiest weekend of the year, and he just wanders off and disappears for three days.

"Where were you?"

"I was dead."

"And? You couldn't call? Send an email? Here we are working our asses off for this 'comeback' of yours, and you are off the fucking reservation!"
Posted by: JEHOVAH

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/06/07 06:24 PM

Please. You should've seen him around the office. Couldn't even answer the Prayer line right. Then one day... ::POOF:: He up and disappears. Not a word, No note. Nothing. Finally, after a couple of centuries, I get a call. He had to go "Find Himself," he says. He's living on a commune and can I send him some money? Damn Hippie. I know it's my fault. I spoiled him too much. Gave him anything he wanted. But hey, it's kinda hard not to when you're God.
Posted by: Calvin

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/06/07 07:34 PM

And this deal with taking his birthday off every year! I know, it's his birthday, but medammit we do 30% of our annual business on that ONE FUCKING DAY, and where is he? Throwing down ducats in Vegas with that whore he is so infatuated with, and we have to bring in this Santa Claus clown to fill in.

You do know what "Santa" is an acronym for, don't you?

That's right: "ant ass".

Yeah, I threw in an extra "s". I'm the fucking messiah, what are you going to do about it?
Posted by: JEHOVAH

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/06/07 07:51 PM

Quote:

Yeah, I threw in an extra "s". I'm the fucking messiah, what are you going to do about it?



Laugh my ass off, of course. I haven't worked a Christmas since he turned Hippie. Although I do stop by Rome to catch Benedict's schtick. I love the funny hats. After all these years, that gag never gets old.

So you want to be the new Messiah? It's about time I filled that position, since JC doesn't want to do it. Tell you what: Send a PM to St. Peter with your CV and references. He handles all the personnel decisions, now that I'm semi-retired. I think we could use a man of your caliber.
Posted by: Dick Dastardly

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/06/07 10:30 PM

Fuck religion.
Posted by: JEHOVAH

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/06/07 10:43 PM

Couldn't Agree More, Jack. These numbnuts have been twisting my words for 5,000 years. Not a fun one in the bunch. I tried to get rid of them once, but I ended up flooding the place. Oh well, I know where they're going.
Posted by: MoronBoy

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/07/07 04:30 AM

Late congrats, Willie.

Keep on catching whores/pimps in lies and moments of stupidity, aggravating Lackwood and Hyde to no end, and all the other stuff.
Posted by: Conky

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/07/07 04:47 AM

Finally, an alt ID I can enjoy. Jehova rocks, and I never thought I'd see myself type that.
Posted by: JEHOVAH

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/07/07 04:59 AM

Meh. You're not so bad yourself, for a pornographer.
Posted by: Calvin

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/07/07 09:25 AM

Quote:

Finally, an alt ID I can enjoy. Jehova rocks, and I never thought I'd see myself type that.



Feh, I think this is the same guy who used to post as "Yahweh" over on ADT. Same hellfire-and-brimstone style, same messiah complex.

Last thread I saw him posting in, he was trying to recruit Hillary Scott for some kind of burning bush scene he was casting.
Posted by: JEHOVAH

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/07/07 10:02 AM

I can assure you, Calvin, that ain't me. I gave up the fire-and-brimstone after many years of anger management therapy. And I was gonna hire you as the new Messiah, remember?

As for casting scenes, I'm Semi-Retired now, trying to work on my golf game. But If I was casting, I'd certainly be able to find a less stanky skank than Hillary. After all, I may be semi-retired, but I'm still God.
Posted by: Hyde

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/07/07 10:56 AM

Quote:

Late congrats, Willie.

Keep on catching whores/pimps in lies and moments of stupidity, aggravating Lackwood and Hyde to no end, and all the other stuff.






Posted by: J.B.

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/07/07 11:10 AM

Posted by: jamesn

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/07/07 11:59 AM

hyde, i'm going to overuse that frost poem and say you're at a crossroads.

do you want to be a generative poster or do you want to be a bit-character that pops in like the mailman on a sitcom from time to time?

you're not an idiot, but you've dug yourself into an idiot's role of a poster who doesn't do anything extraneous of snipe at willie.

look at the scoreboard, you're losing and it's not because he's an oppressive-mod, it's because people don't ascribe much value to someone grinding an axe with one person like a broken record.

think about which is a better post-a catty picture in response to your tormentor or the jenna-divorce post. it's an easy choice for me, one has content, the other's a picture.
Quote:

Quote:

Late congrats, Willie.

Keep on catching whores/pimps in lies and moments of stupidity, aggravating Lackwood and Hyde to no end, and all the other stuff.








Posted by: Conky

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/07/07 03:19 PM

I like William's posts where he actually says something. When he just sticks his head over the parapet, fires off a quick round and ducks back down, he becomes no better than the delightful Renfield.

It would be nice if people who were actually intelligent drove this board more, created more posts and engaged rather than just throw the occasional, "+1" or a JPEG into the mix.
Posted by: LouCypher

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/07/07 03:24 PM

Conky
Quote:

I like William's posts where he actually says something. When he just sticks his head over the parapet, fires off a quick round and ducks back down, he becomes no better than the delightful Renfield.

It would be nice if people who were actually intelligent drove this board more, created more posts and engaged rather than just throw the occasional, "+1" or a JPEG into the mix.



Agreed.
Elabo is essentially the same kind of cunt.. maybe more of a cheerleader type..but a weak bitch just the same.
Posted by: Soopergrizz

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/07/07 03:27 PM

Quote:


It would be nice if people who were actually intelligent drove this board more, created more posts and engaged rather than just throw the occasional, "+1" or a JPEG into the mix.



Posted by: Calvin

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/07/07 03:42 PM

Quote:

Quote:

Yeah, I threw in an extra "s". I'm the fucking messiah, what are you going to do about it?



Laugh my ass off, of course. I haven't worked a Christmas since he turned Hippie. Although I do stop by Rome to catch Benedict's schtick. I love the funny hats. After all these years, that gag never gets old.

So you want to be the new Messiah? It's about time I filled that position, since JC doesn't want to do it. Tell you what: Send a PM to St. Peter with your CV and references. He handles all the personnel decisions, now that I'm semi-retired. I think we could use a man of your caliber.



Took a while to update this thing, seriously, it's been since the Middle Ages:

The Lord
Objective
My objective is to draw on my professional experiences and enrich a dynamic and progressive workplace.

Experience
0-6 Days - Cosmic Void - Nothingness
Startup Solutions Manager

Used limited resources to create a rich multi-textural business environment.
Improved integrated human resources potential by creating a system of internal management capable of governing the sounds issuing from neck parts of humans.
Took bold steps to overcome inequalities in the workplace by making difficult choices about how many different types of human reproductive organs there should be. Hovered on three, decided on two for efficiency's sake.
Oversaw large-scale construction projects and the implementation of turnkey solutions in real-world situations.

8 Days-1938 AD - Celestial Empyrean - Heaven
Chief Executive Officer

During tenure witnessed record employee growth from none to everyone.
Weathered a major management shakeup that saw a corporate split and the departure of several trusted executives.
Annual profits exactly equal GDP of all nations combined.
Excellent employee retirement packages for all levels of workers (some restrictions, although things can generally be worked out at the employee's request).
Saw excellent growth in North and South America from about 1600 AD to present and managed to beat out several competitors.

1939-1945 - Celestial Retreat - Spiral Arm, Galaxy 435-32
Board Chair

Managed a six-year executive retreat handling an exclusive client list.
Reports from COO King of Kings indicate things ran smoothly back at the home office during my absence.
Humans have jets. Pretty neat stuff!

1946-Present - Celestial Empyrean - Heaven
Chief Executive Officer

Human exports to moon rise exponentially.
Oversaw creation of information technology department and subsequent upgrades. Dramatically more efficient than tablet-based data storage.
Integrated automation initiative streamlines operations and concentrates earning potential in productivity sectors.
Despite conflicting reports in North American, European and Middle Eastern markets, brand loyalty exceeds centennial expectations.

Education
1993-1995 - ITT Technical Institute - Charlotte, NC

Associates degree in Computing.
Received top honors in MS Word and MS Money.
Designed a computer RPG called "Blood Goblet" with EGA graphics.

Interests
Flooding things, meteors, filicide, honey pots, salt pillars, epidemiology.
Posted by: Conky

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/07/07 03:47 PM

Calvin, you missed out his guest appearances on TV shows as well as sitting for portraits during the Renaissance. I don't know if they were classed as taxable income, though, but WillieD can probably advise the Big Guy on that one.

Grizz, much more like it!
Posted by: Calvin

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/07/07 03:55 PM

I considered throwing in The Immaculate Reception and the 1985 Villanova Wildcats, but I don't want to encourage any more of those damn "Please let us kick the living shit out of Michigan today!" prayers.
Posted by: JEHOVAH

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/07/07 04:24 PM

OK Calvin, you sold me. You're hired. You are now, officially, the New Messiah, with all the rights, priviliges and immunities attendant thereunto. Just make sure that there's always some kind of bullshit job available for my good-for-nothing Hippie Son, IF he ever gets his shit together. Put him in sales, or, hell, make him the fucking janitor for all I care. Just leave him something. Oh, and the other thing: Never wake me before Noon, unless I have an early Tee Time. Trust me on this; plagues have been known to happen if I get up too early.
Posted by: Hyde

Re: WillieD, Porn Jesus - 04/07/07 08:25 PM

Quote:

hyde, i'm going to overuse that frost poem and say you're at a crossroads.

do you want to be a generative poster or do you want to be a bit-character that pops in like the mailman on a sitcom from time to time?

you're not an idiot, but you've dug yourself into an idiot's role of a poster who doesn't do anything extraneous of snipe at willie.

look at the scoreboard, you're losing and it's not because he's an oppressive-mod, it's because people don't ascribe much value to someone grinding an axe with one person like a broken record.

think about which is a better post-a catty picture in response to your tormentor or the jenna-divorce post. it's an easy choice for me, one has content, the other's a picture.
Quote:

Quote:

Late congrats, Willie.

Keep on catching whores/pimps in lies and moments of stupidity, aggravating Lackwood and Hyde to no end, and all the other stuff.












You're a smart guy James. But I think you ascribe a little more importance to your role here than I do to mine. Which in your case is actually a benefit to XPT, because you've actually got the humor and wit to make your posts sound like something more than empty vitriole. As for me, I'll never be more than a "bit player", because I really don't fancy the board for more than passing entertainment in the wee hours. In fact, if I had the will power to just keep my mouth shut, I wouldn't be more than a lurker. As for "losing" or being "tormented"... I don't know what it is I'm supposed to have "lost" [?], and I certainly don't feel particularly tormented. But hey... if that's the way you guys wanna characterise it, be my guest.
And for the record, I don't hate Willie or anyone else. I know you guys like to think there's some kinda blood feud going on. But the truth is, I just think the guy's fuckin' hilarious, and I like seeing him get all pissed off. That's the only reason I take shots at him... just for a laugh.
But as the kids say, "Ya know... whatever."
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!! [even to you Christ-hating Jews]