Received this WONDERFUL Message just now

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You're a very sensitive sort aren't you, Fatman?

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More bored and verbose than sensitive. Though I still get very very sad when thinking about a certain girl from my past.



If I get too sad, I beat myself up pretty good.




But I have to like a whore alot to let her suck my balls. They're quite sensitive.

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It must have been the swami pictures that brought him back. c'mon you know you want to say something about them.

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HE'S PISSED that I dont provide him anything approaching this kind of target.

He seems especially upset I did not invite him over for the New year's Eve party, poor monkey had to stay home on New Years eve and tend to Mrs Smelly Monkey's severe Bunion problem while watching Little Miss Sunshine. He jerked off to little Olive's Superfreak strip show in that movie after his wife passed out for the evening...."Damn that Burg is so lucky. How can my life be outdone by a fucking crippled asshole like him?", fumed the Monkey at 11:30 pm DURING THE LAST HALF HOUR OF 2006.

I really wish he would cogently, rationally explain his overweening, intense hatred of ME in the midst of so many other worthy, juicy targets infesting XPT these days. I mean, seriously, when he sends me these hate filled messages and posts, and edits my posts in the manner he does, I can Almost taste the BILE that he must be experiencing bubbling forth from his abdomen.... He genuinely hates me on a level that exceeds his hatred for Gen Padova. Ohhhhh yeahhhhhh

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Too many fat dumbfucks on this site now.

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Too many fat dumbfucks on this site now.

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Two things:

1) From his general girth, swarthyness and acne I would surmise that Sportswami eats a LOT of hamburgers. You see this look on a lot of long-term burger joint employees, including chicks. It's the sustained combination of grease, fat, and hormone laden beef in their complimentary employee meals which does it to them.

2) How the fuck did everyone at AEE resist the temptation to pull out a band-aid or piece of gaffer tape and do an impromptu 'Queer Eye' eyebrow waxing on this corpulent fucktard? That hair island in the centre or his 'not quite a unibrow, but close!' needs to come off ASAP!

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I FUCKING HATE YOU, DIE CRIP DIE
From: ...
YOU FUCKING SUCK, I WISH ILL WILL ON YOU AND THOSE CLOSE TO YOU, YOU FUCKING SUCK, I WANT TO FIND YOU KILL YOU AND CUT YOU INTO 4 BY 4 CUBES BOIL THOSE CUBES AND FEED FARM PIGS WITH IT, THEN HAVE GEN PADOVA AND GIA JORDAN FUCK THEMSELVES WITH YOUR BONES WHILE I VIDEOTAPE IT AND SELL IT TO "GIMPS GONE WILD".



Monkey has officially lost it....he is a one trick pony that needs to be put down. Hey I never hid who I was or what I was, I write what I write, etc. How "Full" is this guy's life that he allows a crippled man in his late 30s to get inside his head to this extent? I mean, granted, I am more intelligent, better looking, wealthier, more articulate and a better cook than Smelly Monkey, but I am CRIPPLED. He's got me there....

I fucking Love this shit .....


Yeah Monkey (and folks of the Cage)...How about I leave and you can all get to know the NEW Rob Longshot much more intimately. How's that sound?

**Edited By Club Da Burglar Security, Evidence seized and Documented for future use justifying Possible Physical Violence**

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Ya know what...fuck 'em. Fuck 'em right in the ass.

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I FUCKING HATE YOU, DIE CRIP DIE
From: ...
YOU FUCKING SUCK, I WISH ILL WILL ON YOU AND THOSE CLOSE TO YOU, YOU FUCKING SUCK, I WANT TO FIND YOU KILL YOU AND CUT YOU INTO 4 BY 4 CUBES BOIL THOSE CUBES AND FEED FARM PIGS WITH IT, THEN HAVE GEN PADOVA AND GIA JORDAN FUCK THEMSELVES WITH YOUR BONES WHILE I VIDEOTAPE IT AND SELL IT TO "GIMPS GONE WILD".



Monkey has officially lost it....he is a one trick pony that needs to be put down. Hey I never hid who I was or what I was, I write what I write, etc. How "Full" is this guy's life that he allows a crippled man in his late 30s to get inside his head to this extent? I mean, granted, I am more intelligent, better looking, wealthier, more articulate and a better cook than Smelly Monkey, but I am CRIPPLED. He's got me there....

I fucking Love this shit .....


Yeah Monkey (and folks of the Cage)...How about I leave and you can all get to know the NEW Rob Longshot much more intimately. How's that sound?

**Edited By Club Da Burglar Security, Evidence seized and Documented for future use justifying Possible Physical Violence**

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This one is better:

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For Simp- may he rest in peace:

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I can't believe all the shit you guys are talking about our resident God of XPT. When the Monkey eventually comes back he's going to kill you bitches like he was Chuck Norris in a Chuck Norris movie.

Da Burg,

You're still a fuckin flat tire away from starvation and I can't wait until that happens.

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My eyes must've lied because I thought I saw Burg walking before.

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... a total fantasy identity of several people in the porn industry to use as a covert means to vent their hypocritical, self-serving vitriol within an industry that pays them well....

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yo burg, whilst skimming some threads i missed whilst interstate, i have a vague memory of you telling gia jordan to "go back to throwing up your food" or some other bulimia implying insult. what's the dealio?

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Coochie, chill out brah, I know you still love me...Monkey will never be the friend I have been to you; he'll betray you for a "Thread of the Week" topic and a Twix bar.

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Thats impossssiiiblllleeeee.

By the way, you have been a real friend to me, whenever I've needed my salad tossed youve been right there to eat my ass

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i'm not an asshole

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As to the rest of you new fuckin queefs, enjoy your time here while you can because I promise you bitches that the storm is coming

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What is he possibly gonna do if/when he comes back? He'll tell a few people off, start a few threads of "witty" banter, and call it a day. Hardly a "storm" there, ace.

As long as he doesn't come through my computer monitor, he can be an internet tough guy all he wants. You really take this shit seriously, don't you??

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You really take this shit seriously, don't you??

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I FUCKING HATE YOU, DIE CRIP DIE
From: ...
YOU FUCKING SUCK, I WISH ILL WILL ON YOU AND THOSE CLOSE TO YOU, YOU FUCKING SUCK, I WANT TO FIND YOU KILL YOU AND CUT YOU INTO 4 BY 4 CUBES BOIL THOSE CUBES AND FEED FARM PIGS WITH IT, THEN HAVE GEN PADOVA AND GIA JORDAN FUCK THEMSELVES WITH YOUR BONES WHILE I VIDEOTAPE IT AND SELL IT TO "GIMPS GONE WILD".

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But I have to like a whore alot to let her suck my balls. They're quite sensitive.

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