Free Food at Ikea

Posted by: Uncle Joe

Free Food at Ikea - 01/17/11 10:13 PM

From January 15 to 17 Ikea had a special sale that if you bought $100.00 or more of Ikea stuff and would eat at the Ikea Restaurant then they would deduct the cost of the food from the products purchase. So yesterday I decided to go there and take advantage of this special sale. I went there, took a tray and filled it with stuff. I wanted to get $20.00 worth of food but only got $12.76 worth of food because I ran out of space on the tray. The Mac & Cheese sucked as well as the Smuckers Peanutbuttery & Jelly sandwich, I threw both out. The lingonberry drink also felt stupid because it was in a kiddie-size box with a kiddie straw.

Posted by: XXseX

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/17/11 11:12 PM

Mac & Cheese at Ikea

And that swedish meatball dish looked pretty dodgy too... I guess the further away from sweden the less they care to keep it Ikea style

Posted by: Uncle Joe

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/17/11 11:45 PM

But today I decided to go again so I could get to $20.00 worth of free food. I figured out that I can fit 3 cake slices on 1 plate and keep the other unoccupied plates underneath the main cake plate. I also figured that I could buy 20-ounce cup for soft drink at the Bistro for $1.00 because in the restaurant they charge you $1.49 for a 10-ounce glass cup. When I came to Ikea, I took a piss and then headed to the Bistro for the $1.00 20-ounce soda cup that I stashed in my bag. I then went to the restaurant and took 2 forks with me and grabbed the tray. I then took out 3 plates of cake slices: 2 apple cakes and 1 chocolate cake. The following station was with fresh salads, shrimp sandwiches and buffalo chicken wraps, I took the wrap and put it on my tray. Then I proceeded to another station and asked for 2 plates of meatballs and the server gave me only 1, so I asked for another plate with a louder voice. The tray was heavy, but I was not done yet: I also took 2 slices of texas toast and proceeded to pay checkout, and on my way I told silently to myself "Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh! Bitch!!!". Cashier told me that I had to pay $22.24 and at this point I felt bad because the advertising said that only up to $20.00 can be deducted, so I paid the price and went to get the seat. After I found the seat and put my tray on the table, I took out the 20-ounce paper soda cup from my bag and poured-in the lingonberry drink from the fountain and went to eat the food. To my surprise, all $22.24 were deducted from my purchase and I silently said to myself "Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh! Bitch!!!" as I walked out of the store to the free Ikea shuttle bus to the F-train.

Posted by: frankie fatale

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 12:03 AM

i guess youre the new king of the jews.

Posted by: cqd

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 12:44 AM

Yes, they call him Fatty, King of all Jews.

Posted by: XXseX

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 04:31 AM

Hope they watched you until you finished eating all that

Posted by: cqd

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 05:10 AM

Why? That would be repulsive to watch. Much better for everyone if Panzer can pig out in solitude.

Posted by: cameronkeys

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 07:52 AM

1) you are now stuck with $200 worth of crappy Ikea furniture in order to get some free meatballs. Well done

and 2) From what I hear the food at Ikeas little cafe is so insanely cheap on its own..why would you cough up $100 for furniture to get it for free?(I have friends that are constantly telling me how they take their 2 kids there for lunch and they all eat for like...$5 or some insane amount. And yes..they are part Jew!)

Posted by: backdoorman

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 08:27 AM

Alexi Panzerogi - little tank of dumplings

Posted by: the unknown pervert

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 01:02 PM

I shudder at the thought of how bad any kind of food must be to be unfit for the suave, sophisticated palate of Alex Panzer.

Posted by: LouCypher

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 03:13 PM

Quote:

1) you are now stuck with $200 worth of crappy Ikea furniture in order to get some free meatballs.

the meatballs weren't free.
he paid to get there and back. twice.
this is just another one of his idiot escapades he uses to get attention.

Posted by: Uncle Joe

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 04:25 PM

Quote:

Quote:

1) you are now stuck with $200 worth of crappy Ikea furniture in order to get some free meatballs.

the meatballs weren't free.
he paid to get there and back. twice.
this is just another one of his idiot escapades he uses to get attention.

I did not pay because if you buy a MetroCard with many rides then you get extra rides for free.

Posted by: LouCypher

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 04:32 PM

you still paid, numbnuts. you don't get the free rides upfront. you have to BUY first.

Posted by: Uncle Joe

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 04:34 PM

Quote:

you still paid, numbnuts. you don't get the free rides upfront. you have to BUY first.

I buy the MetroCard in the beginning of every month and I get like 4-5 free extra rides, so I can use them for the trips like these (where I don't have to pay for the rides).

Posted by: Uncle Joe

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 04:42 PM

Quote:

1) you are now stuck with $200 worth of crappy Ikea furniture in order to get some free meatballs. Well done

and 2) From what I hear the food at Ikeas little cafe is so insanely cheap on its own..why would you cough up $100 for furniture to get it for free?(I have friends that are constantly telling me how they take their 2 kids there for lunch and they all eat for like...$5 or some insane amount. And yes..they are part Jew!)

1) all the stuff that I bought is great stuff, everything is made from staiinless steel and there are no furniture items except 2 stainless steel shelves that were just $14.99. I bought a lot of stuff on clearance for $0.99 each ($7.99 reg.) that I will sell on eBay and will make some extra cash.

2) I knew about this "free meal special" for 2 months in advance, so I waited to make a purchase when the sale was going on. Check the pic below for upcoming free food sales, and bring your whole family: treat them for an unforgettable meal at Ikea, and don't forget to stock up on Swedish food at the Ikea Market.

By the way, I am from Ukraine.

Posted by: Northrop

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 04:56 PM

Panzer, I know somebody who used to work at IKEA. They do that sale when there's a bunch of food in their freezer that needs to be thrown out. All that stuff you ate, it'd been sitting in there freezer like 6 months and was coming up on expiration. If you hadn't eaten that stuff, you could have gotten it from their dumpster the next week for free.

Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 05:05 PM

I am convinced that Panzer is immune to all forms of food poisoning. Prolly some mutant power he acquired after Chernobyl.

Posted by: Uncle Joe

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 05:35 PM

Quote:

Panzer, I know somebody who used to work at IKEA. They do that sale when there's a bunch of food in their freezer that needs to be thrown out. All that stuff you ate, it'd been sitting in there freezer like 6 months and was coming up on expiration. If you hadn't eaten that stuff, you could have gotten it from their dumpster the next week for free.

This is bullshit because they get the ingredients brought-in to the restaurant several times a week.

Posted by: cqd

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 06:00 PM

Why would they need frozen ingredients a few times a week? I think you must be thinking of the fresh ingredients.

None of the food you were eating was fresh food. A pre-packaged peanut butter sandwich? Instant mashed potatoes. Frozen meatballs and gravy...

I don't see any fresh salad greens on your plate. Those are the kinds of things they get a few times a week.

That wrap is probably the only slightly fresh thing you have eaten all month.

Posted by: gia jordan

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 10:55 PM

I hope a Billy bookcase falls on Panzer's head.

Posted by: XXseX

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/18/11 11:10 PM

Seriously? none of you know how Ikea operates?

It's very simple, they have the restaurant part run at a net-zero profit, which obviously means the food is really really cheap. The reason for this is to attract poor as dirt people, who still need cheap furniture.

It's like a Muslim convention there every day here, bringing their whole extended families to eat cheaply.

Point is, the trick attracts lots of people to buy their other stuff, which they do make a good profit of. A campaign like this is a obvious marketing campaign to attract more customers, and from what little I read here it's working famously, making them laugh all the way to the bank.

Posted by: Uncle Joe

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/19/11 02:22 AM

Quote:

Seriously? none of you know how Ikea operates?

It's very simple, they have the restaurant part run at a net-zero profit, which obviously means the food is really really cheap. The reason for this is to attract poor as dirt people, who still need cheap furniture.

It's like a Muslim convention there every day here, bringing their whole extended families to eat cheaply.

Point is, the trick attracts lots of people to buy their other stuff, which they do make a good profit of. A campaign like this is a obvious marketing campaign to attract more customers, and from what little I read here it's working famously, making them laugh all the way to the bank.

As long as the food is free and tasty, everything else should not matter.

Posted by: XXseX

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/19/11 05:58 AM

No argument there, I like to eat there myself if I manage to get there sometime it's not full as fuck.

Posted by: LouCypher

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/19/11 06:34 AM

Quote:

Quote:

you still paid, numbnuts. you don't get the free rides upfront. you have to BUY first.

I buy the MetroCard in the beginning of every month and I get like 4-5 free extra rides, so I can use them for the trips like these (where I don't have to pay for the rides).

listen.stupid.fuck.

if you have to pay for something to get it "free" then it's not free. the per unit price is lower.
you should know this. the jew is weak in you alex.

Posted by: backdoorman

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/19/11 07:57 AM

Gia wrote: "I hope a Billy bookcase falls on Panzer's head"

He'd just ask it if it wanted an enema !

Posted by: jamesn

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/19/11 11:54 AM

Ikea is literally a store full of junk. If you took the impulse element out of it and made customers come back a seperate ane later time to buy what they're in line with a week later and go through the same terrible customer experience I really hope few would do it again.

Posted by: Uncle Joe

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/19/11 04:59 PM

Quote:

Ikea is literally a store full of junk. If you took the impulse element out of it and made customers come back a seperate ane later time to buy what they're in line with a week later and go through the same terrible customer experience I really hope few would do it again.

I only buy stainless steell stuff from them like GRUNDTAL.

Posted by: XXseX

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/19/11 11:25 PM

I only buy things there that have dirty names by mistake... you'd think swedish and norwegian was close enough that this wouldn't happen, but I have a lamp named "fucked" in norwegian that proves that theory wrong.

Posted by: ben

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/20/11 09:33 PM

Does this mean if you buy $100 worth of crappy furniture but then bus $100 worth of food at the restaurant that you get it all for free? That food doesn't look too healthy - I think i'd throw most of it out

Posted by: ben

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/20/11 09:36 PM

If you took the bus does this mean you had to carry all the furniture with you, or do they deliver?

Posted by: Uncle Joe

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/21/11 01:40 AM

Quote:

If you took the bus does this mean you had to carry all the furniture with you, or do they deliver?

Nah, you gotta carry the stuff unless you want to pay $69.00 per item for delivery. I had to take a bus and then the subway.

Posted by: cqd

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/21/11 02:45 AM

Posted by: freestylah

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/21/11 04:41 AM

^^ Battlefield 1943?

Posted by: LouCypher

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/21/11 06:57 AM

^ no, it's The Sims™ Bikini Atoll.

Posted by: LouCypher

Re: Free Food at Ikea - 01/21/11 07:10 AM

Quote:

Nah, you gotta carry the stuff unless you want to pay $69.00 per item for delivery. I had to take a bus and then the subway.

so are you still sticking with the story that you traveled to and from ikea for
free or is this where you admit that you're a fucken clown and got fucked coming and going on cheap food and shit furniture?.