Raise your glass...

Posted by: Anonymous

Raise your glass... - 07/03/07 09:26 PM

...to The United States of America

Quote:



In CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.


The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen United States of America,




WHEN in the course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.


We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.


That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed.


That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is in the Right of the People to alter or abolish it, and to institute a new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while Evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security.


Such has been the patient Sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the Necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The History of the Present King of Great-Britain is a History of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let the Facts be submitted to a candid World.


He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public Good.


He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing Importance, unless suspended in their Operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.


He has refused to pass other Laws for the Accommodation of large Districts of People; unless those People would relinquish the Right of Representation in the Legislature, a Right inestimable to them, and formidable to Tyrants only.


He has called together Legislative Bodies at Places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the Depository of their public Records, for the sole Purpose of fatiguing them into Compliance with his Measures.


He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly Firmness his Invasions on the Rights of the People.


He has refused for a long Time, after such Dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the Dangers of Invasion from without, and Convulsions within.


He has endeavoured to prevent the Population of these States; for that Purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their Migrations hither, and raising the Conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.


He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.


He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the Tenure of their Offices, and Amount and Payment of their Salaries.


He has erected a Multitude of new Offices, and sent hither Swarms of Officers to harass our People, and eat out their Substance.


He has kept among us, in Times of Peace, Standing Armies, without the consent of our Legislature.


He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.


He has combined with others to subject us to a Jurisdiction foreign to our Constitution, and unacknowledged by our Laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislaton:


For quartering large Bodies of Armed Troops among us:


For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from Punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:


For cutting off our Trade with all Parts of the World:


For imposing taxes on us without our Consent:


For depriving us, in many Cases, of the Benefits of Trial by Jury:


For transporting us beyond the Seas to be tried for pretended Offences:


For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an arbitrary Government, and enlarging its Boundaries, so as to render it at once an Example and fit Instrument for introducing the same absolute Rule in these Colonies:


For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:


For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with Powers to legislate for us in all Cases whatsoever.


He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.


He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our Towns, and destroyed the Lives of our People.


He is, at this Time, transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to complete the Works of Death, Desolation, and Tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and Perfidy, scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous Ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized Nation.


He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the Executioners of their Friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.


He has excited domestic Insurrections among us, and has endeavoured to bring on the Inhabitants of our Frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known Rule of Warfare, is an undistinguished Destruction, of all Ages, Sexes and Conditions.


In every stage of these Oppressions we have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble Terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated Injury. A Prince, whose Character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the Ruler of a free People.


Nor have we been wanting in Attentions to our British Brethren. We have warned them from Time to Time of Attempts by their Legislature to extend an unwarrantable Jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the Circumstances of our Emigration and Settlement here. We have appealed to their native Justice and Magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the Ties of our common Kindred to disavow these Usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our Connections and Correspondence. They too have been deaf to the Voice of Justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the Necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of Mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace, Friends.


We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the World for the Rectitude of our Intentions, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly Publish and Declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be, Free and Independent States; that they are absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political Connection between them and the State of Great-Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of the divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.


Signed by ORDER and
in BEHALF OF THE CONGRESS
JOHN HANCOCK,
PRESIDENT.

ATTEST.
CHARLES THOMSON,
SECRETARY.


PHILADELPHIA:
PRINTED BY JOHN DUNLAP..








Posted by: Bornyo

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/03/07 09:37 PM

It's worth the read.
Posted by: ranathan

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/03/07 10:56 PM

its not even midnight on the west coast and i wasn't going to drink, but fuck it. Here is to a great day 231 years ago.

lets not fuck up what they started.

Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/07 01:59 PM

For the Gentleman from South Carolina, Dr. Bornyo, a Revolutionary War song about the Patriot victory over the British at Sullivan's Island.


Quote:



AMERICANREVOLUTION.ORG
Sullivan's Island
1776


This ironical, and burlesque old song, was composed in the early part of 1777. The author treats of the unsuccessful attack on Sullivan's Island, by the British, in the summer of the previous year, and closes his epic with promises to gain lasting fame for the royal arms, in all future actions. In the papers of the time, it appears as a "New War Song, by Sir Peter Parker," written and printed in London, and adapted to the tune, "Well met, brother Tar !"


A NEW WAR SONG


My Lords, with your leave,
An account I will give, 1
That deserves to be written in metre:
For the rebels and I,
Have been pretty nigh,
Faith almost too nigh for Sir Peter.


With much labor and toil,
Unto Sullivan's Isle, 2
I came firm as Falstaff or Pistol,
But the Yankees, 'od rot 'em,
I could not get at 'em :
Most terribly maul'd my poor Bristol. 3


Bold Clinton by land, 4
Did quietly Stand,
While I made a thundering clatter;
But the channel was deep,
So he only could peep,
And not venture over the water.


De'el take 'em, their Shot
Came so swift and so hot,
And the cowardly dogs 5 stood so stiff, sirs !
That I put ship about,
And was glad to get out,
Or they would not have left me a skiff, sirs !


Now bold as a Turk,
I proceed to New York, 6
Where with Clinton and Howe you may find me.
I've the wind in my tail,
And am hoisting my sail,
To leave Sullivan's island behind me.


But my Lords, do not fear,
For before the next year,
Although a small island could fret us,
The Continent whole,
We shall take, by my soul,
If the cowardly Yankees 7 will let us.


1 An account I will give. Late in the month of June, 1776, General Sir Henry Clinton, and Sir Peter Parker, with a powerful fleet and army, attempted the reduction of Charleston, South Carolina. The fleet came to anchor, at less than half musket shot from the fort on Sullivan's Island, and commenced the engagement. It lasted over ten hours, when the British were repulsed, after suffering great loss. After the firing ceased, the fleet slipped their cables, and before the next morning had retired two miles from the fort.


2 Sullivan's Isle is situated on the northern side of Charleston harbor, about four miles from the town.


3 Most terribly maul'd my poor Brlstol. The Bristol flag-ship, under the command of Sir Peter Parker, was greatly damaged in the hull. Commodore Parker's breeches were torn off, his thigh and knee wounded, so that he walked only when supported on each side. The following extempore appeared in the Constitutional Gazette, at New York, a short time after this action.


If "honor in the breech is lodged,"
As Hudibras has shown,
It may from thence be fairly judged,
Sir Peter's honor gone.


4 Bold Clinton by land. General Clinton, some time before the engagement, landed with a number of troops on Long Island, and it was expected he would have co-operated with Sir Peter Parker, by crossing the narrow passage which divides the two islands; but Colonel Thompson with eight hundred men, stationed to oppose him, induced him to decline the perilous attempt.


5 And the cowardly dogs. The garrison under the command of Colonel Moultrie, although composed entirely of raw troops, showed determination and coolness that would have done honor to the oldest men in the service. They fired deliberately, for the most part took aim, and seldom missed their object. On the day after this gallant action, Moultrie cheered his officers and men in the following spirited and singular language: "My brave companions, you see the advantage of courage and fortitude. You have fought and have conquered, and the gallant fellows who fell in the cannonade of yesterday, are now in Heaven, riding in their chariots like the devil." - New Jersey Journal, 1779.


6 I proceed to New York. A few days after the engagement, the troops re-embarked and the whole sailed for New York.


7 If the cowardly Yankees. During the hottest fire of Sir Peter Parker's squadron, the flag of the fort was shot down. Sergeant William Jasper immediately stood upon the ramparts, with the flag in his hand, until another staff was handed to him, when he planted it and retired.








Posted by: elaborator

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/07 05:35 PM

i am a yankee doodle dandy

Posted by: elaborator

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/07 05:52 PM

no more kings


Word!

Posted by: Bornyo

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/07 05:55 PM

Thanks for the info, Jim B. That's an account I hadn't read.

I'm not far from Cowpens. and fairly close to this place:

Posted by: zenman

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/07 06:03 PM

Metaquestion: to what literary genre does the Declaration of Independence belong? Does it have legal import? Is it a diplomatic missive?
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/07 06:43 PM

I've heard about Morgan's ass-kicking of Tarleton at Cowpens, of course, but I'd never heard of the Battle of Musgrove Mill before. First time British Regulars were beaten by Militia. Outstanding.

I live just a few blocks from where Washington escaped assured anniahilation by Gen. Howe by slipping across the East River from Brooklyn Heights to Manhattan after losing the Battle of Long Island. I've got another New York Revolutionary tid-bit, but I'll save it for it's anniverary in a few days.

Elaborator, RIGHTEOUS choice on No More Kings. Schoolhouse Rock kicks ass.

Zenman, I don't know how you'd classify it. "Extralegal Proclamation?" The Continental Congress, and indeed all secessionist and revolutionary movements, are by definition extralegal unless backed up by force of arms.

EDIT: My neighbors are drunkenly mangling God Bless America right now, and, if past is prolouge, this will continue for several hours. I'm glad I left that party when I did. It's been threatening to rain all day. Maybe that will drive them indoors.
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/03/08 06:19 PM

Bizzzzz-UMP!!!


Read it again, ya misanthropic bitches.








Posted by: NitneLiun

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/03/08 06:49 PM

Quote:

its not even midnight on the west coast and i wasn't going to drink, but fuck it. Here is to a great day 231 years ago.

lets not fuck up what they started.





I'm afraid that train left the station long ago.
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/03/10 11:15 AM

It's that time again...
Posted by: electrostatic

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/10 02:17 AM

What kind of glass?
Posted by: ivorenginedriver

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/10 05:24 AM

I do shots elector, what do you do?

BTW a big TY to JB. My hometown is the anchorage for the USS Constellation, and of course Fort McHenry. Been to both many times. Next project is to find the spot over in North Point where General Ross was dropped by defenders Wells and McComas. Specific to the Revolution, last week I took a pretty young wench down Gun road which led to a foundry where muskets and balls were manufactured for the Continental Army..
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/10 07:15 AM

Quote:

What kind of glass?





Whadddaya got?
Posted by: electrostatic

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/05/10 03:25 AM

Nothing now, sillybutt.
Posted by: ivorenginedriver

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/05/10 04:44 AM

A me gusta much brandy Presidente y en la Republica es tan barato pero es tan caro aqui en Gringolandia. Que tal, bella? Ojala todo sea pan y cebollas.
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/03/11 05:51 PM

An Osama-less Bizzump, Pervs. Makers' Mark all around.
Posted by: Bornyo

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/03/11 06:12 PM

I'll share in the Makers' Mark. Here's mud in your eye.
Posted by: LouCypher

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/03/11 06:30 PM

Originally Posted By: J.B.
An Osama-less Bizzump


the best kind of bizzump in a long time...

it's kind of fitting that fuckface got splashed on a year that the 4th landed on a monday. three days to puke and rally and all, yes?. so good.
Posted by: Bornyo

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/03/11 06:45 PM

Yep. I guess it just moves Monday to Tuesday. Regardless, the work week is one day shorter.
Posted by: frankie fatale

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/03/11 06:58 PM

will be celebrating tomorrow with hamburgers,carne asada,hot dogs,ribs,and have some adobada later on this week.all on the grill of course.



if youre not proud to be an american may you felate a donkey dick.




black people like america too.


tits!


if you cant beat em.fuck em.
Posted by: Uncle Joe

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/11 02:40 AM

Posted by: LouCypher

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/11 03:21 AM

and another step closer to that custom user title, dirtbag.
Posted by: the unknown pervert

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/11 04:09 AM

I always figured the national flag of Panzerland would be a Heinz ketchup label.
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/11 07:47 AM

Originally Posted By: Panzer






Yet, you're here, huh?




Originally Posted By: LouCypher
and another step closer to that custom user title, dirtbag.







Fatty, a run-off poll, please?



Originally Posted By: the unknown pervert
I always figured the national flag of Panzerland would be a Heinz ketchup label.


QOTD
Posted by: Jerkules

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/11 07:49 AM

BBB is still my choice.
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/11 08:00 AM

^^^Mine too, but it's the fourth and, in that spirit, it should be done by a vote rather than by acclamation.


"Daddy's Little Bottom", though, is an accurate and fitting alternative.

Maybe we can work this into a Panzerless Fourth as well?
Posted by: Uomo Grassissimo!!

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/11 02:47 PM

Poll active in The Cage. By the time I edited the poll for spacing with my text, Daddy's Little Bottom had taken the early lead.

Guess it was that little NH town that put up the vote.
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/11 04:39 PM

Looks like it's holding that lead. Democracy in action. After all, we're not communists.
Posted by: Uncle Joe

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/11 05:01 PM

I celebrate 4th of july by taking a dump and polluting environment by throwing out 24 SLA D-cell batteries. That's how much I care about America.
Posted by: Uomo Grassissimo!!

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/11 05:11 PM

How nice. When are you leaving?
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/11 06:05 PM

BTW: this is probably the only decent post the Belaborator ever made.





Originally Posted By: elaborator
Posted by: backdoorman

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/11 06:08 PM

Originally Posted By: The Mayor
I celebrate 4th of july by taking a dump and polluting environment by throwing out 24 SLA D-cell batteries. That's how much I care about America.


You're so full of shit you shart every time you take breath !
Posted by: frankie fatale

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/05/11 07:33 PM

Originally Posted By: The Mayor
I celebrate 4th of july by taking a dump and polluting environment by throwing out 24 SLA D-cell batteries. That's how much I care about America.
commie pinko bastard.
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 12:47 PM

<Bizump>
Posted by: tattypatty

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 12:56 PM

4th of July FTW.
Posted by: frankie fatale

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 01:30 PM

theres been some serious niggasynthesis on black ops zombies today.good players that actually work well in a team and not quitting randomly.
Posted by: Uncle Joe

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 02:34 PM

I don't celebrate 4th of July. This is an outdated holiday.
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 02:50 PM

So you wouldn't mind, then, if we threw you in a hole with all them "niggas" you hate, and had 'em beat and sodomize you for good measure, since due process and all that other stuff is, ahem, "outdated?"

Thanks, Alex, for reminding me why the United States, for all its faults, is still better than each and every shithole in Europe.
Posted by: Mr. Meat

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 05:31 PM

Yea...Europe, had to bail those motherfuckers out not once...but twice.
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 05:38 PM

^^^Who's this troll?

Anyhow, I've nowhere better to post this:

Posted by: drained

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 06:01 PM

Nationalism is silly. Even if it is called patriotism. Thick.
Posted by: frankie fatale

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 06:19 PM

Originally Posted By: J.B.
So you wouldn't mind, then, if we threw you in a hole with all them "niggas" you hate, and had 'em beat and sodomize you for good measure, since due process and all that other stuff is, ahem, "outdated?"

Thanks, Alex, for reminding me why the United States, for all its faults, is still better than each and every shithole in Europe.

cool
Posted by: drained

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 06:23 PM

People are born anywhere they do not choose to. To make a most random occurrence some form of praised trait is primitive, immature.
Posted by: LouCypher

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 06:35 PM

Originally Posted By: Lex Noodler
I don't celebrate 4th of July. This is an outdated holiday.


how bout you don't celebrate any day in july here?.
see ya in a month.
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 07:12 PM

How about that?

Thoughts, Pipe Dream?

While we're at it, Floofie, since you're PD's great defender, would you care to comment on Your Boy's dis upon this land?

Yeah, Fwoofie, I'm looking at you. You back the cocksucker, so now defend him. Or shuffle off. Your choice.
Posted by: drained

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 07:20 PM

You keep spinning the nationalist dildo. Which colour does it have?
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 07:25 PM

You're all up in arms tonight. Fwoofie won't back you? Guess you're going to whine here all night, then.
Posted by: drained

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 07:32 PM

I will pass on an easy opportunity here. You obviously are not familiar with punctuation yet.
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 07:41 PM

And, with that, I win again. Meanwhile, you German freak, I leave you with this:

Posted by: Spunko

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 07:42 PM

Posted by: Steezo

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/12 10:05 PM

I don't care if it's an old pic. She's my favorite pornstar of all time.

Posted by: Spunko

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/05/12 12:25 AM

Posted by: Steezo

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/05/12 12:31 AM

^^^ Anthony Lapaglia riding a velociraptor carrying a chewed up flag?
Posted by: the unknown pervert

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/05/12 06:22 AM

Originally Posted By: J.B.
And, with that, I win again. Meanwhile, you German freak, I leave you with this:



I'll see your Kate Smith and raise you Ray Charles

Posted by: Spunko

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/05/12 10:26 AM

Originally Posted By: Steezo
^^^ Anthony Lapaglia riding a velociraptor carrying a chewed up flag?


With a machine gun and an RPG.
Posted by: John Floofin

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/05/12 10:34 AM

Originally Posted By: Spunko
Originally Posted By: Steezo
^^^ Anthony Lapaglia riding a velociraptor carrying a chewed up flag?


With a machine gun and an RPG.



Thats pretty fuckin' awesome
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/13 01:24 PM

Well, it looks like the Pipsqueaks and Panzers have won, because this Fourth, I am sad to report, we can no longer relax:




Thanks, Steve, for listening to these foreign faggots on the fourth.
Posted by: CxGxPx

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/13 08:01 PM













Posted by: drained

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/13 08:18 PM


Nationalism might even make sense as an alcoholic.
Posted by: faceblaster

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/13 09:33 PM

















Posted by: Spunko

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/13 10:08 PM

Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/05/13 08:05 AM

Originally Posted By: faceblaster


America has still never recovered from the loss of Soupy Sales.
Posted by: Barry the Pirate

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/05/13 09:07 AM

Originally Posted By: Spunko


Nope. First Black President. Everyone's racist. 9000 years of slavery. Middle Passage. Door of Know Return. Date Nights. Sexy baboon arms. Up with people. God damn America.
Posted by: faceblaster

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/05/13 05:09 PM

Originally Posted By: J.B.

America has still never recovered from the loss of Soupy Sales.


If you see Kay, tell her hi.
Posted by: Bluecipher

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/05/13 07:52 PM

Fat Bloody Fingers - you forgot to add Chomsky.
Posted by: have2cit

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/06/13 06:07 AM

Posted by: have2cit

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/06/13 05:14 PM



Ted's father Rafeal Cruz.
Posted by: J.B.

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/18 06:55 AM

BUMP for the Fourth, and for the Anon who's been poring over this and other threads for weeks.
Posted by: ivorenginedriver

Re: Raise your glass... - 07/04/18 07:21 AM

Happy Fourth to my fellow XPTers.