Howard Stern's Charlie Sheen Escort Beauty Pageant

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOIVUena9lk][/url]


An oldie, but a goodie.


Kacey Jordan, Capri Anderson, and Melanie Rios battle it out for the title of Charlie Sheen's hottest hooker.

I've been fortunate enough to have spent at least 1weekend with 2 of these lovely ladies, and just a night and niesxt day with Capri, who is an old NY broad, I think Queens. Anyway, I'd probably go Melanie first, then Lacey, then Capri.

Melanie is just everything. Adorable face, great tiny young body, fun as fuck to just chill with, and that crazy Spanish sexuality, I think she's Cuban if I remember correctly, its been a minute. Lacey I think I've written about before. I've known her a pretty long time, but haven't seen her in ages. She's supposed to be coming up out here either this week or next so I've been getting some texts, might be nice to see how she's holding up. But she's a wee bit of a party chick, I worry about all the coke, the suicide 'attempts', and the general drama.

Capri was fun, a olittle prudier if that's a word, but very much beautiful. The first couple hours with her were awk, but it got much better.

BTW I paid nothing close to what I've heard some of the numbers that fucking baller Sheen pays out for these broads

Kacey got $30,000 or some shit from that fool!

From what I remember, Kacey got $50k. $10k for the time spent, and 4 more times pre paid. She wasn't invited back though, because she blabbed about it.

Holy fuck that just can't be. I've never asked her, I don't tend to pry into shit like that, figure shed be tired of talking about it, but I have to ask her now.

A lot of chicks got cars from him.

Mercedes at that, granted they were C180s - C220s but still...

I feel like the worlds greatest bargainer, except I don't bargain or really do much negotiating. Just a basic standard offer, more a take it or leave it type deal. I'll wiggle a bit more if its a particular girl I really want.

What exactly is the allure of Kacey? That bitch is foul. She also runied the Sheen gravy train for Melanie.

Well, she's slight and cute.. on top of that, her voice is sexy as hell. Well, to me at least

She's cute??? Really?

She has days where she's really average, but also has days where's she's unbelievably cute, she's also one of the most sexual girls I've come across, in terms of she just oozes sex (insert 'oozes' std joke here). Everything she does she does sexy, whether knowingly or as I suspect, subconsciously. I recently watched her make me a cup of coffee in a tight tank top mand a pair of my boxers and I got a rod. Now I love coffee, but I don't normally Get a rod around it. She's highly skilled, never has said no to any of the fucked up shit I've wanted to try/do, I mean never, and I have done some really fun, fucked up shit with that girl.

Kacey is aces in my book, cool broad for the most part. Makes Lots of bad decisions though. When we get together it inevitibily turns into a "who can toot the longest rail" between marathon sessions of everything from fucking to BDSM to massage. She's supposed to be around this way soon or maybe I just missed her.

Smokezilla, Does Kacey do anal or bareback? Also does her sister escort?

the main attraction is that she has absolutely no problem doing a ton of drugs all night long...every night

Anal, yes, bareback, couldn't tell you. Never tried. Her and her sister have a very strange relationship. Only met Hailey once and she was over obvious about trying to fuck me, and I'm an average looking dude, twice her age. It wasa competition with her sister thing clearly. Her body is fucking banging, bigger tits than Kace, bigger ass, but she had a bit of acne. Then I found out shewas17, and I didn't know the laws of Oregon in that regard,so I kept her off my lap the rest of the night. Fun chick though, once she got the hint. Smoked some of the best weediveever smoked that night with those two. Their momma could get it too

C3X, I disagree. I knew her before I knew she did blow by the pile. I just love tiny blondes and her face I always thought was cute as fuck. The fact that she'll lick cocaine out of my asshole then do a line off my dick only increased her sexiness. You can't explain physical attraction. I usually know real quick if I want to fuck a girl when I see her. Even if her skills are bad, I feel like maybe I could fix that.

again, you don't know Charlie Sheen then

Oh, the possibilities in that statement...

There are lots of-ahem- rumors that Denise Richards was a Heidi Fleiss girl. Technically she should have been included.

while she was acting or before?

I don't fuck dudes or shims, nor do i smoke coke, so why would I know him? And what about my post has any thing to do with Ma-Sheen?

Ha! Oh yes, possibilities indeed,but I sadly didn't intend it that way, though I bet there is a drug combo for each of them, a heavy drug combo, that'd might be able to work a double beej outta them, I didn't unlock that combo

Yeah, that is what I've heard, through the rumor mill. Used connections from hooking to get work as an actress.

the drug combo wouldve just been whatever dollar amount theyd agree to.

Spent a good chunk of the afternoon with Ms. Kacey Jordan. Split a couple 80's, dropped a couple loads of goo down her gullet. Only got to fuck her mouth and shitter, due to auntie flow's arrival. Such a sweet kid, naive, idealistic perhaps, but sweet. Always a good time. Gave her a few 80's for the road, but wouldn't take any cash

@coreyelvis ?

what are 80s?eight balls?

Who is Corey Elvis?

80's are 80mg oxys

ah.i see.i think maybe he looked at her twitter and she tweeted something regarding the aforementioned name and he thinks it might be you.

Ohhh. That would explain the @ imnot even sure if KC is on twitter these days, but if so, I don't fuck with her on there

Yeah, that's where the question came from. she twittered most recently, or within your timeframe, that she spent the day zonked on painkillers. To your credit she also tweeted something about her pussy hurting or killing her.

I didn't know she was still twatting. I'd love to be the reason her twat is on the injured list, but that's ma natures doing. A river runs red.

If she says she can't sit down or brush her teeth from ass/mouth pain, I'm smiling. Truthfully, our session today was more sensual than freaky. Well, as sensual as balloon knot stuffing and load swallowing can be. Oh, and some ass to mouth. Gotta mix it up now and then. But yeah, pretty mellow. We also ate at a great spot by her hotel but I don't recall the name. The penne vodka was dope

Bornyo, your SIG fucking rules btw

http://i1349.photobucket.com/albums/p759/artxmaverick/KaceyJordan_zps74e9c3d4.png

flop^.and theres also the fact that quite a few deny doing privates,but the ones that are so adamant about it you can usually find online with an agency specializing in porn star privates.

Lmao right, cuz she's going to tell a random nobody the truth 1000% of the time. I don't talk about this shit to impress anyone, nor do I think giving a chick drugs and or money is something to be impressed by. Its a fun way to relive some moments. I don't talk to friends about this shit. Not sure what kind of shit life that you must have to go hound a porn chick about a guy you know from a message board but more power to you. Plus keep in mind, the 'hobbyist' world is a lot like fight club, you don't talk about it. Unless its Charlie Sheen. Court has fucked many a famous dude, she doesn't speak on it. I doubt she'll be blabbing about my insignificant ass.

Right, except for you on nearly every post you make.

You are right in that I have no life. Much like the rest of the misfits on this board.

But your argument is not with me, I'm merely publishing her side of the story.

http://s1349.photobucket.com/user/artxmaverick/media/KaceyJordan2_zpsd9da5e85.png.html

I am glad artxmaverick is here to keep us safe from...ourselves?

once again,flop(first law of porn,which is whores lie).she has nothing to gain from telling you the truth and probably has a life outside of being a provider.just like my former neighbors friend who works at best buy in murrieta who goes over to his apt every saturday morning to watch tv, wouldnt have answered truthfully when i was asking him questions at his work about the xbox 360 as to why his breath smelled like he just blew someone on his lunchbreak.

Actually, my argument is with nobody, because I don't give a fuck about what you think. If y'all want me to stop posting, I will. There are a couple folks here who know me or know of me, who have backed me up before. It's really not a big deal either way. I pay chicks in drugs and/or cash to spend a weekend of their lives doing filthy shit with me. This isn't newsworthy, but being a porn board and some of these chicks, especially going back a few years, were porn chicks, it just made sense to share on here. If its unwanted by a majority, then I'll gladly stop.


I dont think i shared this publically on here, just to a couple poster friends via PM i believe, but if you must know, the reason I still do this 'hobby', is that my son and his mother we're killed by a drunk driver several years ago, and its something I've never gotten over, losing either of them. I had seen a fewgirls before they passed, and i even had a weekend date scheduled for the night they were killed with an all time fucking legend, often spoken about on this board even, she may even have used to post here, definitely lurked. I never forgave myself for not being with them that night,and i have never allowed myself to get close to another woman, or even another human, the same way again. Even friends I keep at asaf distance. So rather than spend time on relationships, I have my fun, save money, and save myself from being hurt by losing someone close. Rest assured, I walk around smiling while fucking hating myself 90% of the time. BTW before that we lost our first son as an infant to cancer. I'm not saying any of this for your sympathy, I just want to show you how little of a fuck I give about what you believe, Mr Maverick.

This is the last time I'll address your 'concerns' about me being genuine, and I'm disappointed I even wrote all this. Feel free to go play hide and go fuck yourself. Thanks

I don't recall anyone on XPT having to apologize for anything. Least of all you for this. Carry on.

exactly.sorry to hear about what happened smokezilla and do exactly that and just ignore artmaverick.we enjoy your stories very much and the only people that hate it are those that have never had a piece of the good life.

I was forced to apologize for living in Appalachia and not being on welfare

I for one am proud of you for being able to get by on meth cooking and varmint hunting.

By whom? BDM? What'd he do, hold a gun to your foot?

Welfare is your right up there

In BDM's defense, his Dr. told him that he was so old he had one foot in the grave, and he tried to take care of the problem.

Well, he is a self-reliant cuss...

I personally don't care if you're lying out of your ass about all of it. You're entertaining as fuck. DON'T STOP.

Yep. Makin his way the only way he knows how, and that's just a lil bit more than the laws allow.

Don't knock Uncle Jesse. You know even he and his limp dick wanted to take a run at Daisy's babyhole, just like the rest of us.

I think that's the little bit more that the law wouldn't allow. At least in Georgia; I don't know about Pennsyltucky.

Whether smokie is legit or not isn't an issue for me. He's an entertaining poster. Who cares about the rest? Post on.

Sorry for your loss, man. I can't imagine.

I apologized to the sheriff. Said something really shitty to him that was way the fuck over the line. At some point I had to own it.

I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.

I'm very much legit, this seems like it would be a horrible time waster, and I'm not that good a creative writer. But thanks for the semi-support y'all, I'm touched like an alter boy

were very catholic on this board,so youll be touched often by us.













whether you like it or not:D

I misplaced my tray of weed tonight.

/solidarity

POTY

Hard to argue with ya on that, Blaster.

I'm not sure what POTTY means

Post Of The Year.

I found this going through my screen cap folder, and thought I would share it here, since she was a topic of discussion.

*basques*