WarMachine†††

Posted by: †††

WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 04:10 PM


http://twitter.com/#search?q=warmachineXXX

So much for War Machine's porn career.

The Grand Vizier woke me up out of a sound slumber early Sunday morning and just gave me these highlights with promise of more to follow:

"This looked like something out of a bad Vince McMahon script as this guy War Machine went nuts and began taking everyone on at this party," The Vizier says. "We're talking multiple assaults and battery with the cops after him."

"War Machine’s own agent, Derek Hay, looked to be the primary target with a couple of shots to the head. Mika Tan’s Ex was KO’d as well & sent to hospital."

“I never saw anything like it,” continued The Vizier. “War Machine was in kill mode. His fists were lethal weapons. Anyone who tried to get between him and Derek got taken down – hard.”

in progress

http://adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=38765

--And begat War Machine. Last night at a big party for a major porn star, War Machine went nuts. He threw a few punches at his own agent, and hit anyone who tried to break it up. AdultFYI.com said "This looked like something out of a bad Vince McMahon script as this guy War Machine went nuts and began taking everyone on at this party."

--Wouldn't you know it, one of my friends was at the party and didn't want to give full details because the police are going to be after Mr. Machine:

"I attended a Bday party for a well known porn chick last night in LA and former UFC fighter and now male porn star War Machine showed up. He was invited and was being normal and cool...Something happened with him and another porn chick (believed to be a girl he's dating) and all hell broke loose...He snapped (roid rage) and broke one guys' nose, knocked out another guys' tooth, and knocked out another guy who had to be taken to the hospital. ..Police and paramedics were called...War Machine was able to get away before the cops arrived...He has since been taken off of his agents' site and needless to say his career in porn may be no more."

--And because some people simply can't help themselves, Mr. Machine on Twitter said: "Fuck...last night was NOT good...lil' misunderstanding and then WM was back in effect and the bodies hit the floor. I'm fucked...Pretty sure my porn days are over. Prolly be going to jail too...when they find me...haha!"

http://www.f4wonline.com/content/view/11487/


BLOODYELBOW.COM
lots of comments there
Posted by: orgasmatron

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 04:21 PM

Vince McMahon has nothing to do with MMA.
Posted by: smutspov

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 04:24 PM

Kudos to this maniac for attacking Derek Gay.
Posted by: tattypatty

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 04:42 PM

Wow. My prediction for him getting cuffed in the War Machine thread was about six months. I am sure glad I didn't let anybody take the under.

"Roid Rage" is just media bullshit. This guy is just a straight up fucking nut with issues. I am sure alcohol has made him behave a thousand times worse than any steroid he's taken....
Posted by: 99% Fiction

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 04:50 PM

One more rudder less ship that floated into porn, before crashing and being swallowed up by the sea.

Posted by: Anonymous

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 04:52 PM

and guys wonder why they cant get an agent......
Posted by: pornodux

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 05:11 PM





"So here’s the deal..Former UFC fighter Jon Koppenhaver, who legally changed his name to War Machine a few years ago attended a party last night for Porn Star Brooke Haven. Her Birthday party was being held at Ultimate Porn Studios in Van Nuys California..The craziness started when War Machine smacked up his porn star girlfriend Alanah Rae..He then dragged her outside where several people followed him, trying to stop him from hurting his girlfriend..He then laid out at least 8 people at the party..It was pretty much a massacre..Details are trickling in..The Police are still currently looking for him.. Remember, the guy is a MMA fighter turned Porn star. He has given up his seven-year MMA career to have sex for money…His porn dvd is yet to be released.More details to come.. -TO

Update: I have in fact spoken to War Machine’s Girlfriend Alanah Rae, who confirms that the former MMA star hit her across the face last night at Brook Haven’s Birthday Party..She claims he then went on to pummel almost a dozen dudes including his own porn agent..who still remains in the hospital recovering…more to come. -TO


http://www.terezowens.com/former-mma-star-war-machine-causes-massacre-at-porn-party/
Posted by: Dane Cross

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 05:11 PM

heh.. less "non" competition for me.. ^_~
I mean.. oh, this is tragic. lol.. Alcohol, & UFC fighters with short tempers are not a great combo...
He's quite cocky too.. His twitter post taunt the police.
dis guye shold get tha speciel awarde for being so dam smartt.
Posted by: duckduckgoose

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 05:17 PM

Going down hard is how every male talent dreams of exiting the business.
Posted by: Monstar

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 05:18 PM

I heard about this, this morning. Interesting thing about the link to the Twitter search, the "for"s and "against"s.

The "Against"s really hate the guy with a passion:

Quote:

You should just do the Earth a favor and stop wasting our oxygen you fuckin loser

(link)

Quote:

you're a fucking retard do everyone a favor and admit yourself to a mental institution your life is already a waste

(link)

Quote:

lulz you are a fucking faggot have fun in your next gay porn movie in jail when you are getting boinked by a bunch of guys

(link)

Quote:

How big of a dumb fuck are you? You lost it when you changed your name, then porn, now this? U need help & I hope you get it.

(link)

and the "for"s either try and rationalize or justify:

Quote:

U are innocent!!!! I don't believe the media until we hear ur side of the story.

(link) [is someone really blaming the media??? LOL]

Quote:

probably some douchebags anyway...way to smash em.

(link)

Quote:

you beat they ass show them you dont shit from no one

(http://twitter.com/heathr_ireland/statuses/6181473978)

Quote:

You're justified, sometimes the best way to protect yourself is to attack first.

(link)

Posted by: ivorenginedriver

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 05:26 PM

More dangerous than the run of the mill mope, but still a mope, and likely to be a future parolee or .
Posted by: Charlie Malloy

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 05:30 PM

Photos at terezowens.com are well worth a visit as they resemble the Bobby Kennedy assassination photos, of all things.
Posted by: Deuce_Bigalow

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 05:41 PM

I heard he chased Ben English up and down the street.

Alanah Rae side of the story........ Rule #1.
Posted by: LouCypher

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 05:43 PM

Quote:

Photos at terezowens.com are well worth a visit as they resemble the Bobby Kennedy assassination photos, of all things.



Awesome... Not sure how beating people(?) like derek who? would get him kicked from an industry like the one represented here.

It's kinda like Mike Tyson holding a BFI
job years ago. Eventually some homeless scumbag in a dumpster was going to eat his teeth. This isn't golf.. heh
Posted by: Newports

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 06:40 PM

Quote:

"Roid Rage" is just media bullshit. This guy is just a straight up fucking nut with issues.




Indeed. He will end up behind bars for an extended period of time or in an institution in the near future. Hopefully sooner rather than later.
Posted by: industrybth

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 06:45 PM

I was there and this guy was swinging wildly. Had no idea that that was War Machine, just thought it was some drunk little Mexican kid. He swung at Derek Hay several times and missed. I stepped away thereafter and just glimpsed at wild random punches.
Posted by: †††

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 08:01 PM

Update on adultfyi

Since then a number of wrestling sites have picked up the story and even War Machine has been twittering about the incident:

#######

War Machine twitters: • to do? Wait and let someone craxk me first? lol..I think not. Fuck all you fucks.

• Ya'll can say what you want but when you got 5 guys drunk and in your face pissed about some BS that ain't even true what am I supposed

> Fuck....last night was NOT good...lil' misunderstanding and then WM was back in effect and the bodies hit the floor. I'm fucked....lol

Alec Knight who was hit and knocked out has this to add in a Twitter post:

"I'm ok. Just have to take it easy for a few days. Got a few staples in my head, but I'm going to be ok.

"I got hit in the noggin. Then my noggin hit he ground."

I spoke to The Grand Vizier late Sunday afternoon, and he was telling me the War Machine incident occurred at a private birthday party at the Ultimate Porn Studios on Hayvenhurst near the Van Nuys airport. The shindig was for Brooke Haven and Glen, the webmaster for the MeanBitches website.

The fight, according to The Vizier broke out near midnight, but there was already a weird vibe due to the fact that it was reported earlier that David Aaron Clark had died.

“There were maybe 50 to 60 people at the party,” states The Vizier.

“Apparently War Machine wasn’t too happy, claiming that Derek Hay wasn’t getting him enough work as far as he was concerned. What happened next was speculative. Either War Machine socked a girl or was accused of doing it. Either way he snapped and began doing an Octagon dance and waving his fists. One guy was clocked and had three teeth knocked out. Another guy- an Asian- had his nose broken.

“Then War Machine came after Derek and knocked him down. Alec Knight was also hit and went down, his head striking the pavement. It seemed that every time someone tried to advise War Machine to mellow out or tried to talk sense to him, they got hit for their efforts. Maybe six guys in all got punched. War Machine was relentless as the crowd kept a distance.”

“The incident wound up with War Machine and Derek playing hide and seek with one another around a dumpster,” The Vizier continues.

“Then at some point, both War Machine and Derek took off when someone threatened to call the cops.”

> Posted on www.terezowens.com :So here’s the deal..Former UFC fighter Jon Koppenhaver, who legally changed his name to War Machine a few years ago attended a party last night for Porn Star Brooke Haven. Her Birthday party was being held at Ultimate Porn Studios in Van Nuys California..The craziness started when War Machine smacked up his porn star girlfriend Alanah Rae..He then dragged her outside where several people followed him, trying to stop him from hurting his girlfriend..He then laid out at least 8 people at the party..It was pretty much a massacre..Details are trickling in..The Police are still currently looking for him.. Remember, the guy is a MMA fighter turned Porn star. He has given up his seven-year MMA career to have sex for money…His porn dvd is yet to be released.More details to come.. -TO

Update: I have in fact spoken to War Machine’s Girlfriend Alanah Rae, who confirms that the former MMA star hit her across the face last night at Brook Haven’s Birthday Party..She claims he then went on to pummel almost a dozen dudes including his own porn agent Derek Hay..who still remains in the hospital recovering…more to come. -TO



myspace.com/WarMachine170nhb


JON KOPPENHAVER - WAR MACHINE talks suicide and a fighter's desperation
Posted by: the unknown pervert

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 08:35 PM

Quote:

He swung at Derek Hay several times and missed.



He must have really sucked at MMA if he misses with free shots at an agent at a porn party.
Posted by: 99% Fiction

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 08:53 PM

That's why he's pumping bio hazards for cash nowadays.
Posted by: ivorenginedriver

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 09:03 PM

Jon is a case of a guy who talks about suicide, but lacks the testicular fortitude to . Jon, you have washed out of MMA, tried being a stunt cock, and fucked that up, too. Does Jon really have any reason to prolong his life? "Suicide is painless, and brings on many changes...." to quote an old song.
Posted by: orgasmatron

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 09:26 PM

Quote:

Update on adultfyi

Since then a number of wrestling sites have picked up the story and even War Machine has been twittering about the incident:

#######




he's not a wrestler....
Posted by: *L*G*

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/29/09 10:14 PM

that guy needs a bullet in his head ASAP
Posted by: Cum Stains

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 12:05 AM

I hate Washing Machine. Super huge waste of space.

1. my gaydar went off like a five alarm fire first time i ever saw his pic
2. he has an armpit tattoo
3. legally changed his name to war machine
4. has more fake suicide threats than monkey and burglar combined.
Posted by: Dane Cross

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 12:19 AM

Quote:

I hate Washing Machine. Super huge waste of space.

1. my gaydar went off like a five alarm fire first time i ever saw his pic
2. he has an armpit tattoo
3. legally changed his name to war machine
4. has more fake suicide threats than monkey and burglar combined.


lol lol.. he really legally changed his NAME? where did you see this.. SOURCES, SOURCES!
Posted by: Cum Stains

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 12:21 AM

page 1 of this thread, cutie.
Posted by: freestylah

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 05:14 AM

industrytbh

Quote:

I was there and this guy was swinging wildly. Had no idea that that was War Machine, just thought it was some drunk little Mexican kid. He swung at Derek Hay several times and missed. I stepped away thereafter and just glimpsed at wild random punches.



Cleaning toilets?
Posted by: †††

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 05:35 AM

Happy Birthday, WarMachine

...as a fourteen year old boy, he unsuccessfully performed CPR on his father, only to witness him expire during the process.

...War Machine has also had several scrapes with legal authorities. On September 2, 2007, he was found guilty of striking a Las Vegas man in the face and choking him unconscious during a parking lot scuffle.
In February 2008, he was sentenced to three years of probation and 30 days of community service, avoiding the possible felony charge and accompanying prison time.

In February 2009, War Machine began work as a topless VIP lounge bottle server at the alternative nightclub, Krave, in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Posted by: Monstar

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 06:24 AM

pix from the aforementioned shindig.

courtesy of EMM Report
Posted by: Dane Cross

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 06:39 AM

Quote:

page 1 of this thread, cutie.



awe thanks.. I used the back button.. ^_^
Posted by: industrybth

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 07:32 AM

Quote:

Happy Birthday, WarMachine

...as a fourteen year old boy, he unsuccessfully performed CPR on his father, only to witness him expire during the process.

...War Machine has also had several scrapes with legal authorities. On September 2, 2007, he was found guilty of striking a Las Vegas man in the face and choking him unconscious during a parking lot scuffle.
In February 2008, he was sentenced to three years of probation and 30 days of community service, avoiding the possible felony charge and accompanying prison time.

In February 2009, War Machine began work as a topless VIP lounge bottle server at the alternative nightclub, Krave, in Las Vegas, Nevada.





He worked at a gay bar??
Posted by: *L*G*

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 08:55 AM

Quote:

pix from the aforementioned shindig.

courtesy of EMM Report



phoenix marie looks fugly on those pics
Posted by: Cum Stains

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 09:18 AM

Quote:

In February 2008, he was sentenced to three years of probation



there goes that probation time.
Posted by: †††

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 10:00 AM

— Derek Hay is recovering in the hospital. It appears that War Machine has already turned himself in, but he could face a long prison sentence for the assaults — especially when you consider that the dude has priors —
War Machine's Porn Career in Jeopardy

War Machine arrested in Vegas
War Machine may be eating elbows in prison

War Machine Threatens President Obama, Loses Job (sports.yahoo.com)




Posted by: Soopergrizz

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 01:45 PM

This is why George won't let Lenny pet the rabbit.

Posted by: LouCypher

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 01:59 PM

lol Grizz... perfect.
Posted by: LouCypher

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 02:00 PM

Quote:

Quote:

page 1 of this thread, cutie.



awe thanks.. I used the back button.. ^_^



Not a shot at you CS but was that some kind of gay code/wordspeak?.
Posted by: Cum Stains

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 03:16 PM

quick! someone book war machine in a scene with tanner mayes and we all place bets on who hits pay dirt first.
Posted by: Max Rhino

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 03:40 PM

Is that a tattoo of a hoop earring?
Posted by: †††

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 05:53 PM

WM Suicide Watch
Posted by: backdoorman

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 06:34 PM

Quote:

I heard he chased Ben English up and down the street.

Alanah Rae side of the story........ Rule #1.



Ben should have slapped him with his dick ! KO !
Posted by: tattypatty

Re: WarMachine††† - 11/30/09 08:15 PM

I seriously doubt any of those mopes would be brave or crazy enough to jump this guy; he for sure just went to town on everyone.
Anyways, Jon, if you're reading this have a happy birthday and please try not to kill anybody...
Posted by: †††

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/01/09 02:52 AM






Quote:


Is his left arm pit tattooed? Kind of an odd place.

If so, do you think it's a tattoo of a vagina and he gets excited when the armpit hair grows out? Interesting...

I can just see an inmate trying to fuck his armpit...Have fun in prison buddy.




MMA Demotivational Poster of the Week: War Machine
Posted by: one liner larry

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/01/09 10:52 AM

Hey whoa, I heard Eric Who needs to eat through a straw because of this guy, whoa, it was a long time coming, yes, hey.
Posted by: Stevie Why

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/01/09 12:44 PM

You'd think Derek would have learned his lesson with Jack Venice...keeping some stunt cock on your roster with obvious mental issues, problems with alcohol, a long criminal record and under investigation by numerous agencies that could easily imperil your business isn't a good idea?


You reap what you sew. Too bad those medical bills will be fifty times higher than the few hundred bucks Derek made off him as an agent for a whole scene.
Posted by: Charlie Malloy

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/01/09 12:48 PM

Posted by: †††

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/01/09 07:39 PM

Ha, orgasmugtron ruined his thread about WhoreMachine.

WM and Brett Rogers are both aware of this thread:
tinyurl.com/warmachineXXX

here's a pic of WM and Alanah Rae Rae


image courtesy of FuckaDan.com

Posted by: tattypatty

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/01/09 10:29 PM

Linkee no workee ,AIDS. Did you mean twitter instead of tinyurl?

Rogers to War : "@warmachinexxx hope you are picking up lots of tips about how to toss salads "


Very scary coming from a negro the size of Brett...

I also saw nothing about this thread on either guy's twitter..
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/01/09 10:36 PM

Quote:

Ben should have slapped him with his dick ! KO



Congratulations. Until now, no one has ever made a queerer post about Derek Hay than CX3.
Posted by: †††

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/01/09 10:41 PM

Quote:

Linkee no workee



fixed the link

Posted by: ericjover

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/01/09 11:11 PM

To all of you who were at Glenn King's and Brooke Haven's birthday party, thank you for coming to my studio. I was too busy bartending and caring for the injured people that night, and I was not able to personally meet and greet all the guests.

Despite the drunken massacre that put several people in the hospital including my good friend Chris aka John Luxor, it was a really fun party... and we all continued to drink and be merry after the police and the paramedics left.


I just had to drive my buddy to the ER immediately after the party because his jaw was broken in 2 places.

To briefly describe what happened in a nutshell, it's like watching a bengal tiger go totally apeshit on a group of handicapped preschoolers.

On the bright side, my buddy Chris will be losing lots of weight, and he will probably enjoy being doped up on some really kickass meds for a while.



Posted by: tattypatty

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/01/09 11:28 PM

Quote:

Re: WarMachine†††
#454175 - 12/02/09 01:41 AM Edit Reply Quote




Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Linkee no workee


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



fixed the link




Yeah, but how do you know they know about that thread? Neither mention it on their twitter.

I would love for both of them to post here. AND antiquelens..
Posted by: tattypatty

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/01/09 11:42 PM

Quote:

To all of you who were at Glenn King's and Brooke Haven's birthday party, thank you for coming to my studio. I was too busy bartending and caring for the injured people that night, and I was not able to personally meet and greet all the guests.

Despite the drunken massacre that put several people in the hospital including my good friend Chris aka John Luxor, it was a really fun party... and we all continued to drink and be merry after the police and the paramedics left.


I just had to drive my buddy to the ER immediately after the party because his jaw was broken in 2 places.

To briefly describe what happened in a nutshell, it's like watching a bengal tiger go totally apeshit on a group of handicapped preschoolers.

On the bright side, my buddy Chris will be losing lots of weight, and he will probably enjoy being doped up on some really kickass meds for a while.







Will assault charges be filed? And since your friend will miss work/have medical bills, will there be civil litigation?
Posted by: ericjover

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/01/09 11:54 PM

Yes, there will definitely be assault and battery charges filed by several people. Right now my friend is awaiting his surgery, which will occur on Thursday.

The recovery will take about 5 to 6 weeks, but he will be discussing his litigation options with his lawyer.

I'm not 100% sure what will happen in regards to that, but there is more than enough evidence and witnesses across the board to prove that War Machine is liable for damages.

Thank you for asking.


Posted by: desh

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/02/09 04:00 AM

Quote:



I just had to drive my buddy to the ER immediately after the party because his jaw was broken in 2 places.





Your "buddy"'s jaw was broken but you've waited until the end of the "party" to drive him to the hospital ?
Posted by: Monstar

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/02/09 07:45 AM

i'm rather sure the party "ended" right then and there.

I seriously doubt the festivities continued with people injured, a guy with a busted jaw and one with broken nose.

They could have put on "Celebration" from Kool & the Gang but the shit wasn't going to liven up.
Posted by: desh

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/02/09 07:49 AM



Quote:


Despite the drunken massacre that put several people in the hospital including my good friend Chris aka John Luxor, it was a really fun party... and we all continued to drink and be merry after the police and the paramedics left.




Posted by: Monstar

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/02/09 07:52 AM

damn. don't doubt the power of kool & the gang.
Posted by: backdoorman

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/02/09 09:17 AM

Quote:

Ha, orgasmugtron ruined his thread about WhoreMachine.

WM and Brett Rogers are both aware of this thread:
tinyurl.com/warmachineXXX

here's a pic of WM and Alanah Rae Rae


image courtesy of FuckaDan.com





Now there's a couple of handsome guys !
Posted by: conundrum

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/02/09 10:59 AM

War Machine explains what's wrong with America today:

"I think that, eventually, I’m going to have to move out of the country because I don’t think I will be able to survive in the United States too much longer before going to jail…Because I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with beating somebody up. I think a lot of guys just need to get beat up. A lot of guys, they act like idiots when they’re out and they need to get beat up. I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately, in this country, when you beat somebody up, you get arrested, and it’s too hard for me to follow the rules, man. One day, hopefully, I can leave the country and live somewhere so I can be more free…In almost any other country you get into a fight, nothing happens. It’s not a big deal; it’s not like you are killing somebody. It shouldn’t be against the law to fight. Back in the day, in America, you could fight and nothing would happen. The cops came and break it up. There’s a lot of countries, I know for a fact, you get into a fight and nothing happens. They break it up and you go your separate way; it’s not a big deal. You know, sometimes people, they need to get beat up. That’s their fault for acting stupid. I think, definitely, they’ll be idiots in other countries, but if I beat them up, nothing happens."

Posted by: Barry the Pirate

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/02/09 11:14 AM

Quote:

War Machine explains what's wrong with America today:

"I think that, eventually, I’m going to have to move out of the country because I don’t think I will be able to survive in the United States too much longer before going to jail…Because I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with beating somebody up. I think a lot of guys just need to get beat up. A lot of guys, they act like idiots when they’re out and they need to get beat up. I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately, in this country, when you beat somebody up, you get arrested, and it’s too hard for me to follow the rules, man. One day, hopefully, I can leave the country and live somewhere so I can be more free…In almost any other country you get into a fight, nothing happens. It’s not a big deal; it’s not like you are killing somebody. It shouldn’t be against the law to fight. Back in the day, in America, you could fight and nothing would happen. The cops came and break it up. There’s a lot of countries, I know for a fact, you get into a fight and nothing happens. They break it up and you go your separate way; it’s not a big deal. You know, sometimes people, they need to get beat up. That’s their fault for acting stupid. I think, definitely, they’ll be idiots in other countries, but if I beat them up, nothing happens."





I was telling a crony at work this sad tale. I was about half through when I realized it would be impossible to make up this, um, incident.

I vaguely remember War Machine!!!! (his name should have many exclamation points after it) from the Ultimate Fighter, but I just remember him as being an over confident mook who choked when his time came. I could be wrong, tho.

The whole idea of being an adult and getting in a fistfight is so outside of my reality. I can't even imagine getting in a fight today. I'm sure the fist time I got popped in the nose and my eyes started watering, I'd be all done.

War Machine!!!!...King of the Douchebags.

Barry
Posted by: tattypatty

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/02/09 11:21 AM

Quote:

... it’s not like you are killing somebody ...



He is omitting the parts that a) he's trained like crazy for years to seriously hurt people, putting his opponent (okay victim) at a disadvantage and b)the people he wails on don't seem to actually want to fight.
I think if he doesn't get jail time/help/off himself he probably will kill somebody....
Posted by: delanoojos

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/02/09 11:21 AM

Quote:

To all of you who were at Glenn King's and Brooke Haven's birthday party, thank you for coming to my studio. I was too busy bartending and caring for the injured people that night, and I was not able to personally meet and greet all the guests.

Despite the drunken massacre that put several people in the hospital including my good friend Chris aka John Luxor, it was a really fun party... and we all continued to drink and be merry after the police and the paramedics left.


I just had to drive my buddy to the ER immediately after the party because his jaw was broken in 2 places.

To briefly describe what happened in a nutshell, it's like watching a bengal tiger go totally apeshit on a group of handicapped preschoolers.

On the bright side, my buddy Chris will be losing lots of weight, and he will probably enjoy being doped up on some really kickass meds for a while.








I was wondering why you didnt talk to me. I was trying to find Dane and Faye
Posted by: lance69

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/02/09 11:31 AM

Quote:


b)the people he wails on don't seem to actually want to fight.



This is the part that makes this guy look like a complete and utter cum guzzler. Trained or not, beating on people who aren't looking for it is a sign of a serious pussy.
Posted by: Fuk Yo Mama

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/02/09 03:10 PM

Quote:


The recovery will take about 5 to 6 weeks, but he will be discussing his litigation options with his lawyer.

I'm not 100% sure what will happen in regards to that, but there is more than enough evidence and witnesses across the board to prove that War Machine is liable for damages.





What could anybody expect to get out of the guy? Some used MMA trunks and his subscription to Tattoo magazine? The guy doesn't have shit.

Posted by: El Chivato

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/02/09 03:24 PM

Quote:

Quote:


The recovery will take about 5 to 6 weeks, but he will be discussing his litigation options with his lawyer.

I'm not 100% sure what will happen in regards to that, but there is more than enough evidence and witnesses across the board to prove that War Machine is liable for damages.





What could anybody expect to get out of the guy? Some used MMA trunks and his subscription to Tattoo magazine? The guy doesn't have shit.





Alanah Rae maybe?
Posted by: freestylah

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/02/09 03:52 PM

papercase

Quote:

Your Honor:

As Whore Machine's fake lawyer, ... <snip> ...
As for those 100 witnesses against him you're honor, ...



Indeed!
Posted by: ericjover

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/02/09 08:02 PM

Quote:


I was wondering why you didnt talk to me. I was trying to find Dane and Faye




I apologize for not talking to you at the party. Although it was being hosted in my studio, I tried to be hospitable by serving drinks at the bar and tending to the injuries of Alec and my buddy Chris, who were both bleeding profusely.

I'm didn't know half the folks there because I'm sort of new in the industry, and I shoot my own footage in a very isolated fetish: Femdom ballbusting.

So, please forgive me if I didn't speak to you or greet you at the event. But overall it was a fun party, and both Glenn King and Brooke Haven enjoyed their birthdays despite all the carnage.

Even though my buddy was spitting blood every few minutes, he chased each regurgitation with a shot of Grey Goose to simmer down the pain lol.

We are the types of asshats who keep on having a good time even if we endure a few broken bones. Cheers to everyone who came and hung out with us, and hopefully our next event will be free from drunken massacres.


Here's a pic of me on the ground with Alec and Nicki Hunter after Alec was punched in the face and throw to the ground. The back of his head was bleeding, and I thought that he was a goner. Fortunately, it was patched up with a few stitches.












Posted by: CAPT_MCCLUSKY

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/02/09 09:25 PM

Quote:



On the bright side, my buddy Chris will be losing lots of weight, and he will probably enjoy being doped up on some really kickass meds for a while.





Totally cool dude!

Don't you find it a little ironic that you run a website that features guys getting kicked in the balls and here you host this quiet little shindig, and all hell breaks loose?

Did somebody yell out beforehand: "Here Comes The Pain!"

Also, what kind of liability wavier do these freaks have to sign so you don't get your ass sued in 10 years if they come down with testicular cancer?
Posted by: freestylah

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/03/09 04:12 PM

Quote:

Even though my buddy was spitting blood every few minutes, he chased each regurgitation with a shot of Grey Goose to simmer down the pain lol.



Assclown. I would have laughed my ass off if your 'buddy' bled to death by thinning his blood with hard liquor. Positive note: he wouldn't have experienced any more pain.
Posted by: conundrum

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/04/09 05:59 AM

From Wack Machine's Twitter:

"I shot a great scene yesterday. All of you that are asking about my new agent.I have none. If u wanna book me. WarMachineMMA@yahoo.com"
about 12 hours ago from web


Somebody actually worked with him after all that? Idiots!

Posted by: †††

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/04/09 06:57 AM



the honcho from gft says

"Derek is a faggot loser that swallows cum in gay films and owns ladirectmodels.com He pimps out a lot of the porn stars that are blown out and shot out and gets them hooking work and or work with gay and tranny performers. This guys needs a good beat down. Funny thing is if you read the story Derek did what all fags do when trying to fight someone and got 10 guys to fight one dude but it back fired on him. http://www.xxxfilmjobs.com is slowly taking all his business anyways."
Posted by: conundrum

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/04/09 07:16 AM

Says the pimp who couldn't keep his own "whore empire" afloat for more than a few weeks...

Says the tough-as-nails mofo who wouldn't come out of a studio to face "trannyfucker faggot" Christmaxx Gayans...

Says the... ah, screw it!!!

Posted by: tialing

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/04/09 11:58 PM

The only good thing about this whole situation is that Derek Got knocked the fuck out !
Posted by: Jigaloo

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/05/09 07:34 AM

It's terrible to be happy at someone else's misfortune.
Posted by: †††

Re: WarMachine††† - 12/05/09 11:01 AM

Quote:

Says the pimp who couldn't keep his own "whore empire" afloat for more than a few weeks...

Says the tough-as-nails mofo who wouldn't come out of a studio to face "trannyfucker faggot" Christmaxx Gayans...

Says the... ah, screw it!!!








Donny "closed" his board - currently not possible to register a new account there.

Hey Donny, i made screen cap of your PM [image attached]
Posted by: †††

Attention: WarMachine is back in the business - 02/17/10 06:09 PM

http://alisttalent.com/main_model_details.php?model=1266434560

Posted by: inebriated kiwi

Re: Attention: WarMachine is back in the business - 02/17/10 11:02 PM

Quote:

http://alisttalent.com/main_model_details.php?model=1266434560





He's listed as caucasian but looks like a wetback....what is he?
Posted by: *L*G*

Re: Attention: WarMachine is back in the business - 02/18/10 07:32 AM

why the pic with the dog? he do bestiality scenes too?
Posted by: Uomo Grassissimo!!

Re: Attention: WarMachine is back in the business - 02/18/10 10:15 PM

Quote:


He's listed as caucasian but looks like a wetback....what is he?



A Mongoloid.


Posted by: *L*G*

Re: Attention: WarMachine is back in the business - 02/18/10 10:52 PM

his ears
Posted by: Dick Dastardly

Re: Attention: WarMachine is back in the business - 02/19/10 12:07 AM

That’s what you call cauliflower ear, LG. And yes, it’s fucking ugly. Seeing that is enough to make any pretty boy not want to fight, because it sure as hell can’t be good for attracting chicks post-fight career.

Hey baby, I got this when after I lost my 20th fight.

Seriously, how the fuck do you explain that to someone who hasn’t the slightest clue about fighting?
Posted by: Cum Stains

Re: Attention: WarMachine is back in the business - 02/19/10 12:39 AM

Quote:

That’s what you call cauliflower ear, LG. And yes, it’s fucking ugly. Seeing that is enough to make any pretty boy not want to fight, because it sure as hell can’t be good for attracting chicks post-fight career.

Hey baby, I got this when after I lost my 20th fight.



Then he's PERFECT for porn! The girls now have a man to attract.

Porn girl points to mysterious scar on her ass:

Hey baby, I got this after my 20th staph infection.
Posted by: *L*G*

Re: Attention: WarMachine is back in the business - 02/19/10 08:05 AM

all porn should be POV