*~*~ I'm one sick bitch.

Posted by: MiaRoseXXX

*~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 07:00 AM

so, just recently, I learned how to get myself off. Like, no penis... Its truly amazing. And now I can't fucking stop. I carry a vibrator in my damn purse.

Long story short...

here I am, having my coffee and checking my emails, when, I decide to diddle... :: horrible use of words forgive me, its been a while"

I am looking at COUNTLESS clips! Creampie gang bangs, anal creampies, creampies on your mom creampies. " Obviously, my fav to watch" And NOTHING. I can't get off. I'm fucking frustrated. And then..... Low and behold...

I find this sick fucking clip, of a horny guy fucking his couch cushion. B I N G O Under a minute, there I was.... a twitching pile of porn whore.

Its the hottest thing I have ever seen. I am thinking maybe its how desperate he is? Or maybe he's not at all, and just likes the cushion..... the point here is... you can see his junk pulsing! :: DROOL ::



good morning.
:: sigh ::
I bookmarked.


the cushion fucking dude
Posted by: Paradise Lost

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 07:29 AM

Better couch cushions then wow toons.
Posted by: 4 Small Boobies

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 07:42 AM

Note to self : Never buy used furniture
Posted by: NitneLiun

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 08:15 AM

Congrats, Mia. You have been desensitized to regular sex. This is a strong indication that your soul has been completely destroyed. You are now ready to co-star with Chessie Moore in a wide range of bestial flicks.
Posted by: MiaRoseXXX

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 08:23 AM

Whats a soul?



And maybe you are ready for that shit, but I on the other hand, haven't done a scene in 6 months and I'll be damned if I start back up with beastiality.
:: ninja kick to your forehead::


/mental note/ no used furniture = good idea
Posted by: NitneLiun

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 08:27 AM

Quote:

Whats a soul?



And maybe you are ready for that shit, but I on the other hand, haven't done a scene in 6 months and I'll be damned if I start back up with beastiality.
:: ninja kick to your forehead::


/mental note/ no used furniture = good idea



Not a scene in 6 months? Hmmm, I wonder how I failed to notice. Strange.

So, what have you been doing with your life for the last 6 months? How are you paying the rent and paying for that nice car you bought around a year ago? Or was that your sister's car? I can't really remember. It doesn't matter anyway.
Posted by: Outback Whack

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 08:30 AM

Gee, I spent most Saturday nights between the ages of 14 and 17 doing exactly the same thing with old cushions. At the time I never thought that what I was doing would be terribly interesting to anyone else - except maybe that strange old guy in the stained grey coat that used to hang out at the local park all day!
Posted by: Soopergrizz

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 08:31 AM

welcome back Mia - you're always interesting to read. I hope things are working out for you.
Posted by: vanessa

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 09:00 AM

Quote:


And NOTHING. I can't get off. I'm fucking frustrated. And then..... Low and behold...

I find this sick fucking clip, of a horny guy fucking his couch cushion. B I N G O Under a minute, there I was.... a twitching pile of porn whore.




The clip doesn't do anything for me. But my girlfriend is cumming all over herself. Go figure!

I can hear her say: "twisted... how can you do that? ...intense... my arm is tired"

Posted by: Abe

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 10:10 AM

First Monkey, then Conky and now Mia. Welcome back. And please start filming again, just without animals or cushions, thank you very much.
Posted by: Holly Randall

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 11:26 AM

I understand Mia... I have the same problem. My fantasies have become pretty sick, though they thankfully haven't advanced to the bestiality genre. I don't even bother watching porn anymore-- what I actually like is erotic stories. Try www.lit-erotica.com they've got some pretty good ones.
Posted by: SuperDuperBored

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 12:13 PM

I never knew couch cushions were an option sexually. Of course, I will now be hesitant to sit on any of my single friend's couches. For all I know they could have just finished up making love to their sofa prior to my arrival.

By the way, I'm still laughing at Mia's :: ninja kick to your forehead:: line.
Posted by: Bluecipher

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 12:16 PM

Quote:

Congrats, Mia. You have been desensitized to regular sex. This is a strong indication that your soul has been completely destroyed. You are now ready to co-star with Chessie Moore in a wide range of bestial flicks.



Chessie Moore does dogs? I thought she was just a big tit pornstar.
Posted by: smutspov

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 12:22 PM

Awesome thread Mia,
Posted by: Bluecipher

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 12:25 PM

Quote:

I understand Mia... I have the same problem. My fantasies have become pretty sick, though they thankfully haven't advanced to the bestiality genre. I don't even bother watching porn anymore-- what I actually like is erotic stories. Try www.lit-erotica.com they've got some pretty good ones.



May I suggest www.asstr.org ? A pornucopia of literotica. Always leaves me both stirred and shaken.
Posted by: NitneLiun

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 01:03 PM

Quote:

Quote:

Congrats, Mia. You have been desensitized to regular sex. This is a strong indication that your soul has been completely destroyed. You are now ready to co-star with Chessie Moore in a wide range of bestial flicks.



Chessie Moore does dogs? I thought she was just a big tit pornstar.



Oh yeah.
Posted by: Fiend

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 01:33 PM

Another story site:

http://storiesonline.net/user/p_legal.html

As far as www.asstr.org/ is concerned its a repository of stories that have been posted to Alt.Sex.stories.*

You can search the newsgroups themselves through Google to find the most current posted stories or installments of a series in "Google Groups". (Google groups is the discussion or text only groups on Usenet. There are no binary groups.)

http://groups.google.com/groups/dir?lnk=nhpsfg&hl=en&q=alt.sex.stories&qt_s=Search+for+a+group

I recommend alt.sex.stories.moderated since it has the least amount of spam and the most actual content out of the groups although you do occasionally find a gem in the other groups if you shift through the fodder long enough or just get lucky.


Posted by: gia jordan

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 02:02 PM

Mia, I totally understand. My fantasies have been reduced to really sick stuff or just getting off on some guy holding my hand in the mall. Welcome back, and great seeing you at Holly's Playgirl shoot that day.

K, just watched the couch cushion clip. Didn't get me off, but nice cock. I still understand. I have a thing for guys jerking off. Not those staged jack-off vids like male talent make when they need extra dough, but just a guy laying in bed on his back jerking off. And when they use their own spit for lube, goddamnnnnnn.
Posted by: loopnode

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 02:22 PM

Quote:

I understand Mia... I have the same problem. My fantasies have become pretty sick



Have you included any of those sick fantasies in this video, or do you keep it strictly vanilla?

Posted by: zenman

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 02:57 PM

Quote:

I have a thing for guys jerking off. Not those staged jack-off vids like male talent make when they need extra dough, but just a guy laying in bed on his back jerking off.


I think I might have a chance with you; I jack off all the time.
Posted by: Holly Randall

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 03:18 PM

Quote:

Quote:

I understand Mia... I have the same problem. My fantasies have become pretty sick



Have you included any of those sick fantasies in this video, or do you keep it strictly vanilla?

Oh hell no. Some of my fantasies are probably illegal in real life.



Posted by: loopnode

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 03:31 PM

Quote:


Some of my fantasies are probably illegal in real life.





Oh shit!!
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 03:32 PM

THIS is a good Saturday.
Posted by: Smelly Monkey

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 03:48 PM

Quote:

so, just recently, I learned how to get myself off. Like, no penis... Its truly amazing. And now I can't fucking stop. I carry a vibrator in my damn purse.




You only just learned how to? So why did you waste all that time doing meth for?
Posted by: the unknown pervert

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 04:12 PM

Quote:


I find this sick fucking clip, of a horny guy fucking his couch cushion. B I N G O Under a minute, there I was.... a twitching pile of porn whore.




Sig time.
Posted by: Bluecipher

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 04:18 PM

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

Congrats, Mia. You have been desensitized to regular sex. This is a strong indication that your soul has been completely destroyed. You are now ready to co-star with Chessie Moore in a wide range of bestial flicks.




Chessie Moore does dogs? I thought she was just a big tit pornstar.



Oh yeah.



I am trying to get a 2girl1cup/dog/Chessie Moore mental image but it's only getting me sick. There are limits to perversion.
Posted by: Soopergrizz

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 06:31 PM

doesn't really seem that odd - I fuck my couch all the time

Posted by: Gunker

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 07:03 PM

Quote:

I am looking at COUNTLESS clips! Creampie gang bangs, anal creampies, creampies on your mom creampies. " Obviously, my fav to watch" And NOTHING. I can't get off. I'm fucking frustrated. And then..... Low and behold...

I find this sick fucking clip, of a horny guy fucking his couch cushion. B I N G O



The same thing happened to Kurt Lockwood but he wanted to be the cushion.

Posted by: SuperDuperBored

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 07:23 PM

Quote:

doesn't really seem that odd - I fuck my couch all the time





The vagina couch! FTW! I completely forgot about that thing! I bet that couch has seen more rough-amateur pussy than Brandon Irons.
Posted by: The Cynical Villain

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 07:24 PM

now I know why some people leave the plastic covers on their couches.
Posted by: vanessa

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/23/08 10:15 PM

Gia:
Quote:

My fantasies have been reduced to [...] just getting off on some guy holding my hand in the mall.


Oooohhh, that's the sweetest thing I've ever read.


Mia, you wouldn't have any other good links that are unusual in a similarly perverse way - for my girlfriend?

Posted by: IWAdult

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/24/08 09:48 AM

I once read a story about a guy who was in a famous band who was trying different ways to get off on tour and he rolled up a moist towel, warmed it in the microwave then stuffed the towel in between the couch cushions to fuck it.

Wait until you stumble across desperate guys fucking produce like watermelons and cantalopes. You'll really get off on that.
Posted by: NitneLiun

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/24/08 11:30 AM

Quote:

I once read a story about a guy who was in a famous band who was trying different ways to get off on tour and he rolled up a moist towel, warmed it in the microwave then stuffed the towel in between the couch cushions to fuck it.

Wait until you stumble across desperate guys fucking produce like watermelons and cantalopes. You'll really get off on that.



Hadn't he heard of groupies?
Posted by: The Ghost Is Toast

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 02/25/08 12:41 AM

Quote:

doesn't really seem that odd - I fuck my couch all the time





Hmmm....it's a decent attempt, but not exactly anatomically correct. Where's the clitoris? I can't seem to find it...
Posted by: pariah

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 03/02/08 10:13 PM

Quote:

You are now ready to co-star with Chessie Moore in a wide range of bestial flicks.



Not too sure about that. I showed the Rose sisters a bestial clip. Nothing but looks of horror. This was no regular beast clip. These are the areas the clip covered. Asian girl, sailor suit, interracial, salad tossing, french kissing, Mexican wrestling mask, director yelling "pull back away from the dogs ass! we can not see anything!"
Posted by: weeeee

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 03/06/08 03:52 PM

Thank you pariah
Posted by: Cleetus VanDamme

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 03/06/08 05:30 PM

Quote:

Quote:

You are now ready to co-star with Chessie Moore in a wide range of bestial flicks.



Not too sure about that. I showed the Rose sisters a bestial clip. Nothing but looks of horror. This was no regular beast clip. These are the areas the clip covered. Asian girl, sailor suit, interracial, salad tossing, french kissing, Mexican wrestling mask, director yelling "pull back away from the dogs ass! we can not see anything!"





That's because you were in the room, perhaps they had to pretend to be offended
Posted by: faceblaster

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 03/06/08 07:19 PM

furniture porn
Posted by: LouCypher

Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch. - 03/10/08 07:55 PM

Faceblasted.. You should change your name to redchair.
Naimsayin?