advice needed from mr. max hardcore

Posted by: big moose

advice needed from mr. max hardcore - 11/14/06 10:14 AM

apologies for not posting this on your personal forum, but i cannot afford the membership fee. (honestly, i spend too much $$$ on your euro dvds- )

my girlfriend is very obliging during the act of lovemaking. she lets me get away with some shit. (not literally, of course ) sometimes i "accidentally" cause her to throws up () when she be sucking it. to be honest, i was shocked to find that this occurrence is not nearly as glamorous and erotic in real life as you are able to portray it in your films. her throw up is often smelly. i am distracted, and it interferes with my belief that i am a big man who controls bitches. now, i could just stop abusing her throat in this wise, but, really, this is the only method i am hip to that has the power to produce this belief in me. how do you deal with this stinkiness? you are a pro, and i need your particular wisdom in this area. i do not wish to give up these "accidents".

also, is there a method you are aware of to "accidentally" piss in their mouths? it's difficult to pee with an erection, and by the time i am able to get it going, she's usually figured out what i'm up to. still, i love her.
Posted by: Gigi

Re: advice needed from mr. max hardcore - 11/14/06 11:42 AM

Quote:

apologies for not posting this on your personal forum, but i cannot afford the membership fee. (honestly, i spend too much $$$ on your euro dvds- )

my girlfriend is very obliging during the act of lovemaking. she lets me get away with some shit. (not literally, of course ) sometimes i "accidentally" cause her to throws up () when she be sucking it. to be honest, i was shocked to find that this occurrence is not nearly as glamorous and erotic in real life as you are able to portray it in your films. her throw up is often smelly. i am distracted, and it interferes with my belief that i am a big man who controls bitches. now, i could just stop abusing her throat in this wise, but, really, this is the only method i am hip to that has the power to produce this belief in me. how do you deal with this stinkiness? you are a pro, and i need your particular wisdom in this area. i do not wish to give up these "accidents".

also, is there a method you are aware of to "accidentally" piss in their mouths? it's difficult to pee with an erection, and by the time i am able to get it going, she's usually figured out what i'm up to. still, i love her.



apparently, windsock is alive and well. and i got a new sig to boot!
Posted by: big moose

Re: advice needed from mr. max hardcore - 11/14/06 12:07 PM

at the risk of protesting too much, i will one last time state that i am not the man. though i suppose i am content to be the poor man's windsock in his absence. (use this statement to insult me- )
Posted by: Conky

Re: advice needed from mr. max hardcore - 11/14/06 12:40 PM

I'd keep your girlfriend for your sweet, sweet love-making and use crack hos and cheap motels for your piss ’n’ puke fests. Face it, you're only gonna drop 10-15 bucks on either of them.

Also, you might wanna try cramming Vicks Vapo Rub up your nose. Hey, if it's good enough for crime scene clean up guys, it's good enough for you. One final thing, if you're uncut, make sure you've got all those little bits of diced carrot out from under your foreskin before you go home. That's always a giveaway...
Posted by: Vizzle

Re: advice needed from mr. max hardcore - 11/14/06 12:45 PM

Quote:

apologies for not posting this on your personal forum, but i cannot afford the membership fee. (honestly, i spend too much $$$ on your euro dvds- )

my girlfriend is very obliging during the act of lovemaking. she lets me get away with some shit. (not literally, of course ) sometimes i "accidentally" cause her to throws up () when she be sucking it. to be honest, i was shocked to find that this occurrence is not nearly as glamorous and erotic in real life as you are able to portray it in your films. her throw up is often smelly. i am distracted, and it interferes with my belief that i am a big man who controls bitches. now, i could just stop abusing her throat in this wise, but, really, this is the only method i am hip to that has the power to produce this belief in me. how do you deal with this stinkiness? you are a pro, and i need your particular wisdom in this area. i do not wish to give up these "accidents".

also, is there a method you are aware of to "accidentally" piss in their mouths? it's difficult to pee with an erection, and by the time i am able to get it going, she's usually figured out what i'm up to. still, i love her.




Oh my GOD dude... first the retarded chick, and now this?!?! I have to admit though, your posts are always entertaining if nothing else.

Posted by: big moose

Re: advice needed from mr. max hardcore - 11/14/06 01:06 PM

Quote:

Oh my GOD dude... first the retarded chick, and now this?!?!




oh, update on that. as some sort of karmic reward for keeping it holstered with that dumb ho, at one of my other stores this new girl started working monday morning. gorgeous, completely out of mine or anybody i even know's league. if i tried to talk to her i'd be the one throwing up, you know? yesterday when i got home from work i jerked off to thoughts of doing mean things to her. then again after class. my name must be earl, a-cause my luck for sure has changed.


by the way- -gross!
Posted by: Richard Hungwell

Re: advice needed from mr. max hardcore - 11/14/06 02:51 PM

Heres a little tip for ya...!

Put the barrel in your mouth,, and pull real slow....

They say the brain actually keeps working,,,For about 3-4 seconds after your dead....Fuckin cool eh...!

Let us know how you make out...??????????
Posted by: big moose

Re: advice needed from mr. max hardcore - 11/14/06 04:29 PM

ohhhhh snap! more good hoodoo. i had speech class today and noticed that i wanted to fuck the professor. i've had the class all semester, but just now came to this realization. she's cute in sort of a local news anchorperson sort of way. nice and thick, too. her mouth is sort of crooked, and i have decided it would be cool to put my thing in that crooked mouth, repeatedly and with malicious intent. i think we talked about eye contact or something today in class. i rarely make eye contact.

Posted by: Y-T

Re: advice needed from mr. max hardcore - 11/14/06 05:54 PM

in a room full of crackers i might cut the cheese

Wu tang if I am not mistaken
Posted by: big moose

Re: advice needed from mr. max hardcore - 11/14/06 06:12 PM

method man to be exact. i rate you four stars for that, honky.

Posted by: Dr. Mordo

Re: advice needed from mr. max hardcore - 11/14/06 07:08 PM

Quote:

also, is there a method you are aware of to "accidentally" piss in their mouths? it's difficult to pee with an erection, and by the time i am able to get it going, she's usually figured out what i'm up to. still, i love her.




Forget the retard, any girl who doesn't cut your dick off when you accidentally on purpose piss in her mouth is a keeper.

Although, I guess the retard did say she was up for anything. I think maybe we need a pic of the retard to settle that thread once and for all.
Posted by: big moose

Re: advice needed from mr. max hardcore - 11/15/06 07:42 AM

Quote:

Forget the retard, any girl who doesn't cut your dick off when you accidentally on purpose piss in her mouth is a keeper.




no, no, no. she is a keeper because she rubs my temples when i have a bad headache, she doesn't mind paying when i'm broke, and sometimes she cooks special doggy dinners for my lab, don quixote. that's real, yo.
Posted by: big moose

Re: advice needed from mr. max hardcore - 11/24/06 07:19 AM

thanksgivin throw-up is the grossest.


i had the flu yesterday, and, yo, it was nasty. it scuttled any plans to force my penis as far into my girlfriend's throat as possible, then push harder ().



mr. hardcore, i am disappointed in your lack of response to this thread. i am still a fan, just a disillusioned one.
Posted by: Evil Klown

Re: advice needed from mr. max hardcore - 11/24/06 10:28 AM

Quote:


apparently, windsock is alive and well. and i got a new sig to boot!





Posted by: big moose

Re: advice needed from mr. max hardcore - 11/25/06 08:53 AM

Quote:







this is me, sometimes.
Posted by: Evil Klown

Re: advice needed from mr. max hardcore - 11/25/06 10:19 PM

Quote:

Quote:







this is me, sometimes.