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#259650 - 07/15/07 11:19 PM
Holly Randall, Crimefighter
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Well it finally happened...I Da Burg was Wheeljacked Saturday by a crackhead/heroin Addict whose muscles had not yet atrophied and/or melted away from his body through malnutrition, and who was somehow still strong enough to pry me and my body out of my Slick, incredibly expensive custom built crippled ride and seemingly make good his escape.
Now this obvious degenerate minority scumbag intended to sell my awesome $4,000 wheelchair for 100 bucks to buy a little more crack and Mexican brown, to ease the pain of the mental and emotional sufferring and depression he was experiencing from the fact that 225 years ago his ancestors were brought to the shores of North Carolina in Bondage, having been sold by their OWN people on the East Coast of Africa for some beads, a cookie tin full of crumpets, and a silver mirror. I was pissed, watching dejectedly as I pulled myself off the curb and onto a bench... That's when I saw her, this blinding flash of the loveliest, sexiest, most Super-powered-endowed blond adult photographer in Southern California...SUPER HOLLY.
She came FLYING out of the Charles David Store where she had just apprehended a shoplifter attempting to make off with some SHOES that Holly, in the guise of her mild mannered, somewhat horny normal non-superhero self had been thinking of buying herself. Anyway, Super Holly, in the manner of 3.5 seconds, had caught up with the Crackhead Crippled Wheeljacker and knocked him unconscious. She then lovingly brought the wheelchair back over to the hapless owner, me, and said in the most sweetly sexy voice, "Well sweetie here you go....Mmmmm, this chair rides really good..." 
I stammered, "Uh, thanks Super Holly, for nailing that fucking crackhead Nig..., um, that poor victim of Society's relentless march over marginalized races...can I buy you lunch as a show of appreciation for saving me today? I'd offer you some AWESOME Northern California Pot and 2 free hours of Oral Sex, but I heard that you had recently cleaned up your act as far as weed and booze go, and that Your Mum is a stickler for good manners so I will have to refrain from giving you Oral sex until such enough time passes as good manners allows for such umm, a reward to be given in, ah good taste...I guess...  ..."
Of course, being privileged to buy Holly a plate full of Bangers and Mashed Potatoes at a local English pub, and then watch her eat the plump English Sausages, was itself reward enough for me ... :banana_god_save_the_queen_and_mum_suze:
Anyone wanting any further details of this recent afternoon's glorious events can ask Holly...FYI, she really is a Super Hero in my book.
**Edited to add**: You can see both the effect Holly had on me and how good the clam chowder was at the place we ate...I am wearing two little dabs of it just below my glasses.
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#259651 - 07/15/07 11:45 PM
Re: Holly Randall, Crimefighter
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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I know you're a Harvard alum. Any significance to the Ga Tech cap?
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Amo i Gemelli!! 
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#259652 - 07/16/07 03:19 AM
Re: Holly Randall, Crimefighter
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
I know you're a Harvard alum. Any significance to the Ga Tech cap?
Several years ago, right after I formally ceased working as Marketing Director for an International Company, and just before I started my own marketing consulting business, I applied to the Georgia Tech College of Management MBA Program and was accepted. I was EXTREMELY close to going, and GA Tech's Business school is usually consistently in the top 25 or 30 overall programs (higher for Info Managment and Operations/Production Management) ... I applied elsewhere, including Wharton (successfully) but again, Wharton posed the same challenge as Harvard did 14 years before as an Undergrad ... a city and campus as old as Benjamin Franklin's Wig, and all that goddamned snow. Ga Tech has a modern campus and 0.0000001% chance of snow...but the clincher was the chicks. Soooo many hot chicks there, something about them southern girls...now mind you, and james can attest, while at Harvard, we had NOTHING along the lines of Hot chicks, unless you count Elizabeth Wurtzel. Here was a chance to relive something I felt I had missed! I would have been attending full time at age 34-35 a College type setting, and having just cashed out of my old company and position, I would have been a magnet for all those 22-23 year old female grad students normally accustomed to dating poor male grad students...I also would have been very popular amongst the (female) nursing students as well, making myself available for them to answer questions from my VAST experience as a patient, and allowing them to practice certain important techniques upon me, like how to give a comatose patient with spontaneous erectile function a sponge bath...
Speaking of Student nursing practice, Holly was an INCREDIBLY amazing wheelchair driver, pushing me all over Santa Monica and 3rd street promenade. Alas, she was able to see all the FAT FAT FAT fuck people I have to maneuver around and dodge. Of course, what Holly didnt realize is the BENEFITS of beingin my position at My level when I get behind a hot chick in a Bikini. 
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#259655 - 07/16/07 07:49 AM
Re: Holly Randall, Crimefighter
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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I'm glad you kids finally met up. With Holly by your side Burg, I predict long life and happiness.
Or a slow spiral into the sort of hovel-filled tragedy that now seems to be Luke's life.
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I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#259662 - 07/16/07 02:53 PM
Re: Holly Randall, Crimefighter
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
db you know i got mad amounts of love for you but nigga why you talking about fat people like you do? i mean if you was skinny i wouldnt mind but db.....
Jesus christ this picture simply makes me LOOK fat! First off, the chair I sit in slopes a little downwards towards the back and the foot rests are elevated, causing my butt to seemingly sink slightly downward towards the back and my knees to slightly rise and naturally 'pinch' my abdomen so, yeah, the SMALL love handle that I have comes to the fore. But who gives a fuck? I am 39, with no one to be thin for (High Class Escorts DO NOT give a rat's ass about how rock hard my stomach is, and as for This picture with Holly, no point in holding what gut I do have in for her because she is NOT impressed or concerned with stuff like that anyway, and she would probably see right through it. She may be blond, but she is neither shallow nor dumb...)
Besides, for someone who is perpetually on death's front porch (not quite at death's doorstep), or who is told by the world reknowned specialists he sees that he has one wheel in the grave, why the hell would I bust my ass for washboard abs?? Being a gourmet cook (again, with no one to cook for  ) doesnt help either ....
And Costanza?!?!?!? wtf?? Holly at least tell me you thought George was cute in that "cant-quite-put-my-finger-on-it-kinda-way-he-just-is..."
I'm getting the hell out of here for a while...I think I will go to Iceland and drown myself in Blonds ....
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#259663 - 07/16/07 03:02 PM
Re: Holly Randall, Crimefighter
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 05/06/05
Posts: 1946
Loc: Outer Space
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Quote:
Quote:
db you know i got mad amounts of love for you but nigga why you talking about fat people like you do? i mean if you was skinny i wouldnt mind but db.....
Jesus christ this picture simply makes me LOOK fat! First off, the chair I sit in slopes a little downwards towards the back and the foot rests are elevated, causing my butt to seemingly sink slightly downward towards the back and my knees to slightly rise and naturally 'pinch' my abdomen so, yeah, the SMALL love handle that I have comes to the fore. But who gives a fuck? I am 39, with no one to be thin for (High Class Escorts DO NOT give a rat's ass about how rock hard my stomach is, and as for This picture with Holly, no point in holding what gut I do have in for her because she is NOT impressed or concerned with stuff like that anyway, and she would probably see right through it. She may be blond, but she is neither shallow nor dumb...)
Besides, for someone who is perpetually on death's front porch (not quite at death's doorstep), or who is told by the world reknowned specialists he sees that he has one wheel in the grave, why the hell would I bust my ass for washboard abs?? Being a gourmet cook (again, with no one to cook for ) doesnt help either ....
And Costanza?!?!?!? wtf?? Holly at least tell me you thought George was cute in that "cant-quite-put-my-finger-on-it-kinda-way-he-just-is..."
I'm getting the hell out of here for a while...I think I will go to Iceland and drown myself in Blonds ....
LOL Burg I never said I thought you looked like Costanza! You're a very handsome man, and not at all neurotic. 
_________________________
I really try to retain a respectful distance from my models, even when I'm lubing up their pussies.
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#259664 - 07/16/07 03:18 PM
Re: Holly Randall, Crimefighter
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
db you know i got mad amounts of love for you but nigga why you talking about fat people like you do? i mean if you was skinny i wouldnt mind but db.....
Jesus christ this picture simply makes me LOOK fat! First off, the chair I sit in slopes a little downwards towards the back and the foot rests are elevated, causing my butt to seemingly sink slightly downward towards the back and my knees to slightly rise and naturally 'pinch' my abdomen so, yeah, the SMALL love handle that I have comes to the fore. But who gives a fuck? I am 39, with no one to be thin for (High Class Escorts DO NOT give a rat's ass about how rock hard my stomach is, and as for This picture with Holly, no point in holding what gut I do have in for her because she is NOT impressed or concerned with stuff like that anyway, and she would probably see right through it. She may be blond, but she is neither shallow nor dumb...)
Besides, for someone who is perpetually on death's front porch (not quite at death's doorstep), or who is told by the world reknowned specialists he sees that he has one wheel in the grave, why the hell would I bust my ass for washboard abs?? Being a gourmet cook (again, with no one to cook for ) doesnt help either ....
And Costanza?!?!?!? wtf?? Holly at least tell me you thought George was cute in that "cant-quite-put-my-finger-on-it-kinda-way-he-just-is..."
I'm getting the hell out of here for a while...I think I will go to Iceland and drown myself in Blonds ....
LOL Burg I never said I thought you looked like Costanza! You're a very handsome man, and not at all neurotic.
I actually have been told I look like Costanza before in real life...at least twice in Vegas some drunk housewife stumbled up to the Black Jack Table I was sitting at and looked at me thru groggy booze eyes and said "Oh My GOD! It's George!" back before I started shaving my head and allowing what's left of my hair to grow in I did kinda look like George when i squinted.
Besides, looks are not that important to Holly ... it's OUR MINDS that she wants to sink her paws into and stimulate guys, so hit the books if you want to spend time with her (and/or have her allow YOU to spend your money on her!)
I'll send you a postcard from Iceland Holly and take lots of nice pictures of Jagged Ice mountains and blond chicks that hopefully look a little bit like you, maybe I can even bring a couple back for you and your MUM to shoot FIRST (lol), we'll have lunch again and I will introduce whoever I smuggle into the country ... in the meantime, buy those shoes you wanted and send me the bill....what the fuck, I DEFINITELY know you well enough now to buy you some shoes I guess ....  .....
PS --- (remedy for grumpy mood i am in... ) YELLOW DRESS! YELLOW FRIGGIN' DRESS!!! When you get home tonight put it on and then snap a few pics and post them here...make all the other inmates happy too.
_________________________
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#259665 - 07/16/07 08:23 PM
Re: Holly Randall, Crimefighter
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Look at it this way 'Burg: Now you can die happy!
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#259667 - 07/18/07 12:52 AM
Re: Holly Randall, Crimefighter
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Bornyo wrote: Quote:
Look at it this way 'Burg: Now you can die happy!
Not quite....When I meet Holly's mum Suze and spend some time talking and interviewing her then I will croak with a smile on my face... Holly needs to review our day together in her head to make sure my manners and overall graces and countenance meet her Mum's high standards. Holly informed me that Suze does not abide IDIOTS or Cretins...
Quote:
Quote:
Besides, looks are not that important to Holly
Obvi11ously with the Fuck Lord embossed on her Permanent Record.
Since you have peppered these posts with your analysis of Holly's do's and don't's, explain the entire process of the man with the camera of death, please. 
You lost me here, fatty, on "Do's and Dont's analysis"....?? This wasnt an interview, although I was supposed to sneak one in during our time together, but we were having too much fun I guess...But Holly made it known a long time ago in her "10 Questions with Da Burg" that Looks are NOT the aspect of a man that attracts her the strongest. Let's see if someone can find the link to that now-hillarious piece of XPT folklore, the Forgotten Holly Randall-10 questions thread....<flashback music and psychedlic patterns play>...
As for Luke himself, Holly graciosuly had nice things to say about Luke in the few comments she made about him during our time together...NOW that is what impressed DA BURG most about Holly, is her apparent kind and forgiving nature, and lack of bitterness, she didnt feel the need to rip apart Luke in front of me, or pick on any of his idiosyncrasies, even though he might have deserved it in her mind.
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#259668 - 07/18/07 04:14 AM
Re: Holly Randall, Crimefighter
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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i can attest from speaking with burg he is NOTHING like the long-winded burg on xpt. you can do the post/riposte thang with him at normal to fast speed and he really doesn't go on invectives. i'm glad holly met him.
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"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#259669 - 07/18/07 08:03 AM
Re: Holly Randall, Crimefighter
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
i can attest from speaking with burg he is NOTHING like the long-winded burg on xpt. you can do the post/riposte thang with him at normal to fast speed and he really doesn't go on invectives. i'm glad holly met him.
I am back in Connecticut/Western Mass....As soon as I finish straightening out the financial chaos one of my closer family members has seemingly created for herself and her only child (the main reason I am helping), I will hire a handivan for a day equipped with extra bucket seats and a Fridge and haul ass down the Turnpike to see you. Just one question: I am afraid of dark wet damp tunnels built by corrupt drunken Irish workers (hell, I dont even like Anal sex for that matter) and I have a recurring nightmare of being in an underground chunnel and the walls collapse just as I am out of MS Contin, how can I avoid the Big Dig and not add on 2-3 hours to the drive?
In answer to your question the other day about when I was last in Harvard Square for any length of time other than driving thru, the time I last remember anyway, was just before I moved to Mendocino and bought the house up there in February 2006...I was supposed to attend this year's commencement but didnt make it. Of course we cant forget the time in June of 2005 when i went down for the day to Harvard Square and met that homeless dude named "Marty" outside where the old STore 24 used to be, who seemingly had walked all the way down from Montreal and wanted me to give him 5 bucks for new shoes.
Hey, maybe I will ask Holly to come (she has only been to Boston ONCE she told me), I can BBQ for you, your wife and her if you have a decent gas grille. Afterwards, we can both show her around the Yard where we both passed out or pissed (with reverence of course) on historic landmarks like John Harvard's head.
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#259670 - 07/18/07 08:06 AM
Re: Holly Randall, Crimefighter
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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I'd like to see the expressions on the womens faces when you two launch into your old college days stories...
Chicks hate that shit.
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#259672 - 07/18/07 01:54 PM
Re: Holly Randall, Crimefighter
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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It's been a while since we had any Camera of Death photos, so: Burg almost finishes reading The Fatman's reply to his post. 
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I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#259673 - 07/19/07 06:23 AM
Re: Holly Randall, Crimefighter
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Pervert
Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 2211
Loc: TX
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