It is more of a boost to their own ego than a reason to look down on those who show their admiration with gifts.
That's really sad to hear. I've never had an amazon wishlist, but in the past, some fans have surprised me with gifts on my birthday, Christmas, and whenever. I thought it was really cool of them, and I was blown away at the nice thoughts from guys who took time out of their day to treat me.
When the ex was doing videos through swinger mags she'd get the occasional gift from a "fan". Usually nothing big or fancy, but it was certainly nothing she ever came to expect, let alone ask for. She had a guy who was a pretty good artist who'd always send her sketches. When there was actually something she wanted him to paint, she told what she wanted, got a price from him and sent him the money. He never offered to do it for free, she never thought he should. No fanboi-ism at all. Ah, a different world it was then.
To me, the fan/performer relationship (real or imagined) is one of the most fascinating aspects of porn.
For instance, at our magazine company, we get a good amount of mail from guys who want to be fixed up with, or at least meet, the porn stars in the magazines. The assumed familiarity from having watched the girl fucking on camera leads to these guys writing long letters that go into detail about what most people would not be exposing about themselves in a letter to someone they don't know.
Some of it is description of sexual fantasies. But there is also plenty of stuff that most would save for the shrink couch.
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