Exists is diseased mope in Brandon

Who herps whores with reckless abandon

Lawyers serve papers

Brandon escapes

“To off I am Canada scramblin!!”

Brandon rolls out multi trolls

Thinking he is XPT moll

Says is on vacation

Although the translation

Has Brandon’s IP down cold

JM audits quarter returns

Found lesson they should have learned

Brandon's sales as weak

As Ryan's dick as is meek

As Brandon's tax papers light to burn

Brandon’s American status

Much like his infested phallus

Is not allowed in

Despite he thinking can win

The wallet of one Tony Malice

Brandon deluded he tall

Surrounds him with Germy and all

Then Donny comes thumpin’

Nike’s start teh pumpin

Joe Blow say’s “Fuck y’all”

Brandon has a fan in Figgs,
who may prance around in wigs.
When the neighbors start bitchin
Frankie is itchin
To yell, "Don't hate you nigs."

Brandon has trouble with hair,
since his head is going bare.
The bus stop pigs wince,
At the impish prince,
But he's paying so they do not care.

Some say that Brandon is cheap,
others that he's a small creep.
It should be understood,
his scenes are not good,
and will probably put you to sleep.

Iron is a little worm,
my feelings on this are firm.
He hires those whores,
then fills their pores,
with his filthy disease laden sperm.

Limerick top a haiku any day.

Blame Figgs, he's encouraging me.
___________________________________________________________________

People think Brandon's a crook,
I heard this then I shook.
He always paid,
because he'd never get laid,
if skanks did not need to hook.

The Bus Stop Pig was in shock,
when Brandon pulled out his cock.
She eyeballed a lesion,
which then was her reason,
to run screaming down the block.

When the porker finally left,
Brandon realized there'd been a theft.
His sandwich was lost,
but salad been tossed,
and he said, "I still love women with heft."

Brandon, our friendly runt
Could find no one to sell cunt.
He called Joe Blow,
who stopped by you know,
Cause sometimes you just gotta punt.

There once was a girl named Beth,
who looked like warmed over death.
She dropped to her knees,
said, "Oh Brandon please,
I need the money for Meth."

She crawled out from underneath,
then pulled her knife from its sheath.
She robbed all his money,
Brandon, remember sonny,
Never trust a girl with Meeth.

Brandon Brandon little guy,
Fucked the girls and made them cry.
It wasn't his girth,
It was just their self worth,
fading like smoke in the shy.

I'm going to wait and see where this goes. So far, I'm impressed by the quality of the work.

For real?? Thanks. They have all been off the top of my head, except 2 x I had to google "words that rhyme with xxxxx" Lesion threw me for a loop for a little while too.

This could be your medium. Explore.

There is no money in limericks about,
washed up porn mopes that are short and stout.
Only way I'll be rich
is to marry a bitch
that finds a cure for the gout.

There once was a man with a virus
whose videos failed to inspire us
He and Joe Blow
Were asked "why'd you go?"
"We'd stay but nobody will hire us".

Win.

Good one Tatty.

There once was a boy named Loads,
He lived off of busy street roads,
He made all his money while dressed like a bunny,
He held up a sign,
"Buffet starts at 9"
He greeted the people in line.

Now I see why you are into haikus, your limericks are as weak as your wood. Back in your box gimp.

There once was a pervert named Iron
whose dick sores were red as a siren
when fat whores would swallow
infection would follow
Hey baby, that's arsenic he's firin'.

There was a nice fellow named Brandon
who loved the U.S. till they banned 'im
He misses the sluts
and eating their butts
He trolls whores with reckless abandon

Loadmymouth and covermyface
show ladies in states of disgrace
Facials or swallow
Butts tunnelled hollow
How I wish I was back at my place

Spermcocktail needs updating
The Feds they keep berating
More taxes from me
to U.S. Treasury
Suicide is what I'm debating

Feeling lost without my ladies
As virile as I was in the '80s
My hair may be going
but my sex drive is flowing
I'll see all you fuckers in Hades

Goodbye cruel world, I say
'Twas my hunch that 'Loads is gay
Proud to be a Mod
and to have a hot bod
but 'Loads has to stay away

U.S. stock market tattered and failing
CEOs the government be bailing
Corrupt and unjust
Don't know who to trust
Investors crying and wailing

BI's got a penchant for rhyming
Now that he's no longer chin-sliming
the smut biz is toast
"so long" to the coast
and the whores he was nickel-and-diming.

Ironman still has a fat wallet
Filled with whatever you call it
Cash, coin, or bread
Industry is dead
Sorry to every young starlet

From Bree Olson to Bobbi Starr
Iron's enjoyed 'em near and far
I've eaten my Wheaties
"Please wipe that up, sweetie"
I've shot all eagles, not par

This dumb whore went runnin to Lubben
After giving BI's dick a rubbin
She can't clean her soul
or filthy asshole
no matter how hard she keeps scrubbin'

Kind of like the haiku thread, I've never done a limerick before. So this is mostly an experiment.

Brandon's hair I will generously call wiltin'
Plus, more herp strain than Miss Paris Hilton
Barebacked a diseased porn industry insider
Proceeded to cum up inside her
And named his cheese-dick progeny Stilton

Just returned from Amsterdam
You could say I hit a grand slam
Enjoyed the Red Light
The holes were all tight
Made more flicks than Jean-Claude Van Damme

Your Visa was found expired
Your departure from here was required
Yet your dick full'o'sores
Keeps infecting the Whores
When, like Wallice, you should be retired.

My Visa is perfectly valid
I invite you to toss my salad
I buy things online
My credit is fine
And now is the end of my ballad

It's the second time tonight
You've appeared to be contrite
You Keep saying you're going
But all that you're showing's
A need to spew more of your shite

Do you really want to engage
A Drunken Mick in The Cage
When the best you can say
Will only display
How poorly your wit seems to have aged?

You're not the Mick that I knew
By that, 'course, I mean Mick Blue
He's a proven performer
You keep getting warmer
You're hot for a stud, boo hoo

Brando, if only you knew
The couple of weeks I've been through
The things I now know
Would trouble you so
That you'd melt to a pile of goo

This thread shits all over that Haiku fag fest.

Admission that you were sent away against your will?

No one cares in the least what you're thinking
Please go back to your over-drinking
From your puke-soaked shirt
to your knees stained with dirt
You're disgusting with asshole a-winking

Second Mea Culpa of the night? Followed by a second denial?

Looks like Brando's multiple personalities are having a reunion.

For some one that never met me, BI has me pretty much pegged. If you do another one about me, try working in something about chronic masturbation. Bonus points if you use Jerkules as a rhyming word. Just don't use fleas, it would be cheap and un funny.......

(Some people would pronounce your name Jerk-yools. With that in mind....

Self-flogging fanatic Jerkules
Just can't live his life by the rules
He wanks and he cranks
to too many skanks
His four incher lined with pestules

I'll argue any literate adult would not pronounce it that way.

Thanks for spotting me an inch though.

It's fun watching Jerkules go down on Hercules,
He don't have a test but go make your mess,
Goo he's a tryin',
C'mon I'm buyin',
I aint a lyin',
or my name ain't Ryan,
This isn't Brandon,
you slack-jawed cum canyon

To prove your point, he comes back as Knox. Could one of you bastards do something to retake The Cage? C'mon. I ran the fucking Donkey War, it's about time one of y'all stepped up.

Please and Thank You.


Sincerely,

James W. Ballantine

I already failed at one manufactured argument. And I'm having good feelings toward Brandon with the whole MB deal. Worst thing about all this industry down turn is there aren't enough tards, shit heads and shysters in and around the porn biddness to rail against. The Donkey War may have been the last great battle. Peace and harmony is boring as fuck.

It won't last. There'll always be another scumbag 'round the bend. Or across the border.

I hate to quote myself, but I just realized that was my 9.000th post. For fuck's sake will one of you step up already?

And, NO, Mopetard, that does not mean you have license to post 2257s from your base in Long Island.