Eva Angelina is cute and all, but her anal work always seemed to lack passion. Unfortunately for AT&T, I would not be interested to hire Ms. Angelina for a weekend gaping. Even the idea of cuckolding her soldier in Iraq, with the baby crying all day at home, is not enough to overcome the fakeness of her performances.

If they're not married, though, it means I've overestimated her man's income. Not married means no Family Separation Allowance, and no Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) -- that's almost $1800 a month, or $21,600 a year less than the estimate. If only they got married, there would be enough money to pay off that phone bill!