Present-day Jewel with the self-hating pirate tattoos is a shame. Most women don't hit the wall this hard, and in her case apparently the wall hit back. Time is a cruel master.

Far cry from where she began, huh? Forgive me but I actually thought she was hot in her early vids - especially her first one in 1998 (boxcover) in which she said absolutely nothing; a good first impression that only went downhill.

It's also hard to believe the girl in this pic sprang from the loins of that catcher's mitt face of a mother.