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#260603 - 07/20/07 11:28 AM
What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 01/12/07
Posts: 55
Loc: Corner of Canoga and Saticoy
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My ambition here is to start a thread that will be around as long as XPT and/or Ford is, even if that eventually means, down the line several years, one reply every six months as we, say, take note with a mixture of amusement and horror of his latest screw-up (Platinum X/Candy Shop going under, etc.), his latest topless, man-boobed self-portrait, his latest reactionary societal rant, his latest cry for love from Holly. A Duke Floored depreciation thread by another name, if you will. Too ambitious? We shall see. The guy IS a veritable bottomless well of material, after all.
So, what DOES make the Edsel such a self-important, loathsome, stuffy, misguided, mixed-up, screwed-up L7? Let us count the ways. I’ll get the ball rolling with two of the more obviously easy reasons:
1 - He doesn't like PORN fer Crissakes, proudly claiming not to jerk off to the stuff. Holy crap! Can you believe it!?! What is his problem!?!
2 - He openly admits to liking Air Supply. Holy crap! Can you.... well, you get the idea...
OK, next?!?
_________________________
"I can relate to Larry Craig. Like the good senator from Idaho, I am not gay, but I do like, on occasion, to prowl airport men's rooms for a little hot man-on-man action. Again, that doesn't make me gay."
-Jamesn
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#260604 - 07/20/07 01:42 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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3. Any time he starts a thread with the line "I feel we have failed insert porn name here"
4. I bet he still has that leather jacket too.
5. On the plus side, he's Burg's love rival.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#260605 - 07/20/07 02:49 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 01/19/04
Posts: 249
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Ladies and gents, I feel like we have failed Holly. Were we there for her when she was hurting inside or did we just use her to basely satisfy our own sinful desires?
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#260606 - 07/20/07 02:52 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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I ask you, how can anyone really hate Luke? Once you understand his humor, *he's a hard man to hate.
*Caveat: doesn't mean you shouldn't try.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#260608 - 07/20/07 03:10 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 05/06/05
Posts: 1946
Loc: Outer Space
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Quote:
Ladies and gents, I feel like we have failed Holly. Were we there for her when she was hurting inside or did we just use her to basely satisfy our own sinful desires?
I know you're kidding here Luke, but if anything, YOU used me when I was "hurting inside". When I was in rehab you posted that private matter on your site, and used it as a springboard to rail against those with addiction problems, which you claimed that you've experienced yourself. I find that people's practiced intolerance towards others and their beliefs reflects a personal inablity to forgive, and ultimately love, oneself. You claimed that I "lack self-control", you bemoaned my "moral failings", and you said the support I recieved for my decision "nauseated" you. A lot of people were there for me... unfortunately, you were not. It's in the past and I'm over it-- and though I don't hold a grudge against you for it, re-reading it just now again reminded me how conflicted you are inside. I hope that changes for you someday. Honestly.
_________________________
I really try to retain a respectful distance from my models, even when I'm lubing up their pussies.
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#260610 - 07/20/07 03:12 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
take note with a mixture of amusement and horror of his latest screw-up (Platinum X/Candy Shop going under, etc.)
I hate to break it to you, Ace, but the jury's still out on this one. Plus, as far as I can tell, Luke got his info Here, from Deep Throat, like the rest of us.
There's volumes of things you can rank on Luke for; that doesn't necessarily make him a dipshit. A dweeb, maybe, but not a dipshit.
Try Again.
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#260612 - 07/20/07 04:14 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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ADT regular
Registered: 05/05/07
Posts: 4
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G'day, mates. My name is Desmond Ford, and I'm here to say I'm right cheesed off with my gay son Luke Ford. The boy is a complete disgrace to the Ford family name, and I'll be checking in here regularly to tell you why. For now, let's just say I think the boy's unnatural relations with his childhood friend WAYNE CHERRY had a fair-dinkum lot to do with the sorry way he turned out. I'd have rather seen the abos kill him when he was young than suffer the embarrassment of his vendetta against the porn industry.
If my gay son Luke is reading this, I hope he heeds my advice: If y'don't like porn, son, leave it alone. Your attention-grubbing ways are all too familiar to me from the days when you'd cry for me and your mum in the middle of the night. It didn't work then, and it won't wash now.
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#260613 - 07/20/07 04:48 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 07/02/07
Posts: 99
Loc: Hanging a clock in my Bathroom
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Quote:
I'd have rather seen the abos kill him when he was young than suffer the embarrassment of his vendetta against the porn industry.
I thought dingos did that kind of thing 
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#260614 - 07/20/07 04:56 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
I think the boy's unnatural relations with his childhood friend WAYNE CHERRY had a fair-dinkum lot to do with the sorry way he turned out.
Um, Reverend Des? Hi. I thought Luke's unnatural relations with the wallabies had more to do with it than the Cherry Boy. Comment?
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#260615 - 07/20/07 05:25 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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ADT regular
Registered: 05/05/07
Posts: 4
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G'day Jim B. I'm just having a spot of Vegemite and leafing through my Bible verses on XPT right about now.
Regarding my hypocritical, homosexual, attention-seeking, talentless son Luke Ford and his frolics with the wallabies: let's not forget that Luke also had unnatural carnal knowledge of cone snails, cane toads, stonefish, wallaroos, box jellies, Tasmanian devils, the deadly Taipan snake and of course, the fair-dinkum large saltie named Captain Jack who lived behind our humble home. No wonder he's such a douche-guzzling, simpering creep as an "adult".
My faggot son Luke -- and I apologize for that slip of the tongue as a man of the cloth, but really -- my son Luke Ford is like our Australian kookaburra... a bird known for its shrill, annoying cry. Let's examine a few points:
1. HYPOCRITE
He makes a living off porn, accepts porn ad dollars, feeds off and obsesses on the industry, and MADE A PORN MOVIE -- then condemns it all with phony morality. He's the least moral person I've ever met...and I raised the little whelp, so I ought to know!
I believe that as a child, Luke justified this two-faced tendency by referring to his "hee-hee" personality. And let me tell you, when the boy began indulging his "hee-hee" personality the first thing I did was to crack him a good one. Maybe someone should do the same now.
2. GAY
He dreams of eating snake sandwiches and performing double-penetrations with a male friend (do you lot dream about that? I DON'T!), wears tighty-whiteys, is scared of the vagina (the poof says they smell funny) and primps himself like a fair-dinkum sissy with Grecian formula. 'Nuff said.
3. DOES NOT RESPECT HIS DAD, DESMOND FORD
He converted to Judaism just to honk me off, but still yearns to please me by obsessing on his own not-so-secret hate for the religion of the Hebrews, which he mocks with his very existence.
In short, lads, I'm just about fit to bust over this matter. I'll have to watch a few of your American Bukakke videos just to let out some steam! In the meantime, let me bugger off right now with this: My gay son Luke Ford is an utterly worthless piece of shit, a hack writer, a plagiarist and a loser of the lowest order. I'll be back soon with more concrete proof -- as if any were needed!
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#260616 - 07/20/07 05:40 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 01/19/04
Posts: 249
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Dad, I'm so sorry. I'll try to do better. I really truly want to be a man. I do. I do.
I wish I were a lumberjack...
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#260618 - 07/20/07 05:49 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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I'm sorry Reverend, did you just say that LUKE MADE A PORNO??? That's news to me. It must be worth a fortune just for the Historical Curiosity value, even though it probably suck Kangaroo Balls. Please, tell us more.
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#260619 - 07/20/07 05:50 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 07/02/07
Posts: 99
Loc: Hanging a clock in my Bathroom
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Quote:
Dad, I'm so sorry. I'll try to do better. I really truly want to be a man. I do. I do.
I wish I were a lumberjack...
Does that mean you'd like to womens clothing and hang around in bars?
Edited by hyperion (07/20/07 05:51 PM)
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#260620 - 07/20/07 05:52 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/06
Posts: 6557
Loc: 2004 - the glory days
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mr. desmond ford, thanks for providing your invaluable perspective on our moral leader whoever it is, great alt id 
_________________________
"You are the worst poster in xpt yet I can't stop talking about you" - smelly monkey
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#260621 - 07/20/07 06:17 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 01/19/04
Posts: 249
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Quote:
Does that mean you'd like to womens clothing and hang around in bars?
I have my foibles but never on Friday nights.
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#260622 - 07/20/07 06:58 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 07/02/07
Posts: 99
Loc: Hanging a clock in my Bathroom
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Quote:
Quote:
Does that mean you'd like to womens clothing and hang around in bars?
I have my foibles but never on Friday nights.
Not that there is anything wrong with wearing womens clothing.
But pressing wild flowers is right out. If you do that you're condemned to the outer darkness forever im afraid
Edited by hyperion (07/20/07 07:01 PM)
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#260624 - 07/20/07 07:52 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 01/12/07
Posts: 55
Loc: Corner of Canoga and Saticoy
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Yet another reason why Ford is a complete dipshit: His latest overblown, way-over-the-top rant on the alleged evils of porn ("Does Porn Degrade?). Reading his anti-porn rants over the years, one would think that porn - hell, sex period - is society's gravest ill, more so than violent crime, racism, alcohol/drug addiction, the terrorist threat, global warming, et al. Ford clearly has a - sorry for the bad pun - major hard-on for the adult industry that is clearly way out of proportion to any of its alleged evils. Nowhere is his lunatic-fringe conservative nature more evident than when he rants about XXX. The question is what is the source of his very odd hatred of the adult industry? His strict religious upbringing perhaps? One that formulated his extremely rigid view of human sexuality? Or, as Holly notes, his self-loathing? Why is porn, of all things, in Luke's cross hairs, as opposed to any of the far more serious societal ills I tick off above? Why can't he just relax and derive pleasure from it? Many mental health professionals would absolutely disagree with his assertion that anyone who uses porn is a "loser." Millions of emotionally healthy people use porn all the time. Ford is clearly the emotionally unhealthy one, not them. It irks him to no end when people say, "relax, it's only sex," but it's true. What a nut case.
_________________________
"I can relate to Larry Craig. Like the good senator from Idaho, I am not gay, but I do like, on occasion, to prowl airport men's rooms for a little hot man-on-man action. Again, that doesn't make me gay."
-Jamesn
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#260625 - 07/20/07 07:58 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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ADT regular
Registered: 05/05/07
Posts: 4
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It seems my whiny sodomite of a son is none too pleased with his own Dad speaking the truth. After years of "outing" what he calls "porners" to the world (more often than not with total inaccuracy) the boy has sent me an e-mail begging me not to use my own name REV. DESMOND FORD or that of his childhood sweetheart WAYNE CHERRY on a degenerate website called XXXPornTalk.
I'll not have this guff from you, boy. Do I have to fly from the outback to the Pico-Robertson area to beat some sense into your chemically-imbalanced noggin? I'll never understand what that feisty young sheila Holly Randall saw in your self-obsessed, terminally insecure, lying arse, but I'm glad to see the girl has smartened up. I can't say the same for you, Luke.
D'ya have a new SCOOP for us all, boy? Shouldn't you be out and about digging up dirt on the "porners" to make yourself feel superior? You're a failure, son. A failure of the most pathetic and embarrassing sort.
You want to show the world how fair-dinkum smart you are, mate? You crave recognition for your worthless efforts? Your self-published vanity press "books," your stinking, cut-and-pasted BLOGS, your fake Judaism? By the time I'm through with you, you'll be begging to crawl back into your dead mum's vagina...which resembles a box jellyfish.
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#260626 - 07/20/07 08:22 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/06
Posts: 7863
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Quote:
It seems my whiny sodomite of a son is none too pleased with his own Dad speaking the truth. After years of "outing" what he calls "porners" to the world (more often than not with total inaccuracy) the boy has sent me an e-mail begging me not to use my own name REV. DESMOND FORD or that of his childhood sweetheart WAYNE CHERRY on a degenerate website called XXXPornTalk.
I'll not have this guff from you, boy. Do I have to fly from the outback to the Pico-Robertson area to beat some sense into your chemically-imbalanced noggin? I'll never understand what that feisty young sheila Holly Randall saw in your self-obsessed, terminally insecure, lying arse, but I'm glad to see the girl has smartened up. I can't say the same for you, Luke.
D'ya have a new SCOOP for us all, boy? Shouldn't you be out and about digging up dirt on the "porners" to make yourself feel superior? You're a failure, son. A failure of the most pathetic and embarrassing sort.
You want to show the world how fair-dinkum smart you are, mate? You crave recognition for your worthless efforts? Your self-published vanity press "books," your stinking, cut-and-pasted BLOGS, your fake Judaism? By the time I'm through with you, you'll be begging to crawl back into your dead mum's vagina...which resembles a box jellyfish.
It's the shabbos. Leave him be for tonight Mr. Jesus Loving Kiddie Diddler.
_________________________
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#260627 - 07/20/07 08:28 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/06
Posts: 7863
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Quote:
Quote:
Ladies and gents, I feel like we have failed Holly. Were we there for her when she was hurting inside or did we just use her to basely satisfy our own sinful desires?
I know you're kidding here Luke, but if anything, YOU used me when I was "hurting inside". When I was in rehab you posted that private matter on your site, and used it as a springboard to rail against those with addiction problems, which you claimed that you've experienced yourself. I find that people's practiced intolerance towards others and their beliefs reflects a personal inablity to forgive, and ultimately love, oneself. You claimed that I "lack self-control", you bemoaned my "moral failings", and you said the support I recieved for my decision "nauseated" you. A lot of people were there for me... unfortunately, you were not. It's in the past and I'm over it-- and though I don't hold a grudge against you for it, re-reading it just now again reminded me how conflicted you are inside. I hope that changes for you someday. Honestly.
Holly, if it will make you feel better next time you are hurting please use me in any way you see fit.
_________________________
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#260628 - 07/20/07 08:36 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
Yet another reason why Ford is a complete dipshit...
Hold it right there. You know P2B, I'm really enjoying Reverend Des' stuff a lot more than yours. For one thing, he's a lot easier to read; he understands the function of paragraphs and punctuation. And, well, he's a hell of a lot funnier than you. Why don't you sit down and let the old man show you how it's done.
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#260629 - 07/20/07 08:37 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
It's the shabbos. Leave him be for tonight Mr. Jesus Loving Kiddie Diddler.
He's in Australia. It's the day after tomorrow over there.
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#260631 - 07/20/07 11:21 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
Quote:
Ladies and gents, I feel like we have failed Holly. Were we there for her when she was hurting inside or did we just use her to basely satisfy our own sinful desires?
I know you're kidding here Luke, but if anything, YOU used me when I was "hurting inside". When I was in rehab you posted that private matter on your site, and used it as a springboard to rail against those with addiction problems, which you claimed that you've experienced yourself. I find that people's practiced intolerance towards others and their beliefs reflects a personal inablity to forgive, and ultimately love, oneself. You claimed that I "lack self-control", you bemoaned my "moral failings", and you said the support I recieved for my decision "nauseated" you. A lot of people were there for me... unfortunately, you were not. It's in the past and I'm over it-- and though I don't hold a grudge against you for it, re-reading it just now again reminded me how conflicted you are inside. I hope that changes for you someday. Honestly.
Reading Holly's statements here brought back to my mind the conversation we had last week when I finally had a chance to meet her. Holly did not engage in any vitriolic rant against Luke when we talked...she did not sit there and go over ALL his faults and shortcomings and "OFIs" (Opportunities For Improvement), but rather she talked about how sad she was for him in his seeming unhappiness, how much she wished she could help him and how concerned she was for him. This struck me as remarkable that she would say these kind and loving things about Luke to me one on one, instead of letting me in on ALL the dirt on Luke, given my own exposure and interaction with Luke over the last several years (afterall, the man was a mentor/moral leader/colleague to me and at one point handed over control of his website to me for four days without even knowing me really!)... and this lack of anger and spite on Holly's part clues anyone in as to what Holly really is like inside.
Now I (and others ... I am not alone in this) may spend a lot of time here at XPT with puerile observations and lustful fingerpointing about Holly's beautiful external self and her fine qualities in the physical realm, but only because this is in fact a PORN board and to sit here and write effusive comments about Holly's compassionate and loving "inner self" instead of her ass, while the website is surrounded by pictures of women doused in and consuming semen, is somehow disingenuous. But Holly KNOWS (because of another one of her strengths, a healthy sense of humor and self deprecation) that I am being intentionally silly and overboard, and she take sit in stride (and secretly may even LOVE it!  )
Quote:
3. Any time he starts a thread with the line "I feel we have failed insert porn name here"
4. I bet he still has that leather jacket too.
5. On the plus side, he's Burg's love rival.
HA! Love Rival? Dude, Holly made it perfectly clear to me that, while I do have a few good qualities, I could NEVER even Hope to compete with Luke when it comes to this area. And I accept this because, in tune with her compassionate and HONEST nature, she didnt want to give me, da burglar, any false hope that might lead to heartache and pain down the road when she takes another man (probably not Luke but who knows..?) to the XPT prom instead of ME! SHe made it very clear that I am a good dear friend, but that she doesnt do anything with four wheels. Luke is simply more intelligent, better looking and more "manly" than I could ever hope of being...I am no more his rival than a rowboat Rivals the USS Nimitz!
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#260632 - 07/21/07 02:43 AM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 11/14/04
Posts: 1460
Loc: Down there
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PorntoBorn = John T Bone = pedo douchebag
_________________________
I like me some Gia'd Jerkins.
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#260633 - 07/21/07 07:54 AM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
Quote:
3. Any time he starts a thread with the line "I feel we have failed insert porn name here"
4. I bet he still has that leather jacket too.
5. On the plus side, he's Burg's love rival.
HA! Love Rival? Dude, Holly made it perfectly clear to me that, while I do have a few good qualities, I could NEVER even Hope to compete with Luke when it comes to this area. And I accept this because, in tune with her compassionate and HONEST nature, she didnt want to give me, da burglar, any false hope that might lead to heartache and pain down the road when she takes another man (probably not Luke but who knows..?) to the XPT prom instead of ME! SHe made it very clear that I am a good dear friend, but that she doesnt do anything with four wheels.
[tritone]Holly Randall has refused to do guys in wheelchairs during her whole performing career so I urge guys in wheelchairs to not attend her shows or buy her videos.[/tritone]
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#260635 - 07/21/07 02:52 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
3. Any time he starts a thread with the line "I feel we have failed insert porn name here"
4. I bet he still has that leather jacket too.
5. On the plus side, he's Burg's love rival.
HA! Love Rival? Dude, Holly made it perfectly clear to me that, while I do have a few good qualities, I could NEVER even Hope to compete with Luke when it comes to this area. And I accept this because, in tune with her compassionate and HONEST nature, she didnt want to give me, da burglar, any false hope that might lead to heartache and pain down the road when she takes another man (probably not Luke but who knows..?) to the XPT prom instead of ME! SHe made it very clear that I am a good dear friend, but that she doesnt do anything with four wheels.
[tritone]Holly Randall has refused to do guys in wheelchairs during her whole performing career so I urge guys in wheelchairs to not attend her shows or buy her videos.[/tritone]
 I do not quite understand the "tritone" part of the above...but Everyone knows I am just being satirical right? I was just building off of Conky's statement of me as Luke's love rival... lol ... trying to diffuse some of the pressure that seems to be headed towards Luke by adding some levity to the situation. I had not realized or bothered to read the debate going on over in the Crissy Moran Thread. Bear in mind I am not saying that the things directed at Luke by Holly and others here on this board are not deserved...Luke no doubt does deserve a lot of the criticism he gets. Furthermore my previous statements lauding Holly for NOT attacking Luke behind his back are highlighted by her frankness and candor in being critical of him HERE in "public"...in other words she does have the "brass" to say things in the open, and at the same time the dignity and grace to NOT do so excessively in private where the other person cannot defend himself, a rather noble trait.
As far as whether Holly would bang a dude in a wheelchair, I am sure Holly is an "equal opportunity banger" when it comes to selecting her relationships and sex partners, regardless of whether they use a wheelchair, Golf cart, Rascal, little red wagon or skateboard to get around!
Then again during one of our deeper more intelligent discussions, I did ask Holly whether or not she felt F.D.R. would have been elected if he were alive during Television and she said "NO", so ......   
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#260636 - 07/21/07 04:46 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
3. Any time he starts a thread with the line "I feel we have failed insert porn name here"
4. I bet he still has that leather jacket too.
5. On the plus side, he's Burg's love rival.
HA! Love Rival? Dude, Holly made it perfectly clear to me that, while I do have a few good qualities, I could NEVER even Hope to compete with Luke when it comes to this area. And I accept this because, in tune with her compassionate and HONEST nature, she didnt want to give me, da burglar, any false hope that might lead to heartache and pain down the road when she takes another man (probably not Luke but who knows..?) to the XPT prom instead of ME! SHe made it very clear that I am a good dear friend, but that she doesnt do anything with four wheels.
[tritone]Holly Randall has refused to do guys in wheelchairs during her whole performing career so I urge guys in wheelchairs to not attend her shows or buy her videos.[/tritone]
I do not quite understand the "tritone" part of the above...but Everyone knows I am just being satirical right?
It refers to THIS thread, Burg. 
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#260637 - 07/24/07 09:31 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 01/12/07
Posts: 55
Loc: Corner of Canoga and Saticoy
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Quote:
Quote:
Yet another reason why Ford is a complete dipshit...
Hold it right there. You know P2B, I'm really enjoying Reverend Des' stuff a lot more than yours. For one thing, he's a lot easier to read; he understands the function of paragraphs and punctuation. And, well, he's a hell of a lot funnier than you. Why don't you sit down and let the old man show you how it's done.
Hey, you wanna laugh, turn on Comedy Channel. I'm making profound points here, bippy. Now let's not get off subject, which is Luke Ford - sexually repressed dipshit.
Speaking of which, Holly, did you ever do the dirty deed with the guy? If so, what kind of a lay was he? I really mean no disrespect to you, and if the answer is too personal/private, I understand. But I'd really be curious. I just don't see him as any kind of super freak in bed.
_________________________
"I can relate to Larry Craig. Like the good senator from Idaho, I am not gay, but I do like, on occasion, to prowl airport men's rooms for a little hot man-on-man action. Again, that doesn't make me gay."
-Jamesn
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#260640 - 07/24/07 11:46 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 5869
Loc: Instead of looking at the girl...
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All I know is that Luke cracks me up every time. Hating Luke is like hating girls like this one.
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#260641 - 07/25/07 05:50 AM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
Hey, you wanna laugh, turn on Comedy Channel. I'm making profound points here, bippy
I never thought I'd say this, but Smartt's absolutly right. Luke is pure comedy Gold. And having the "Reverend Des" castigate him here just makes it even more hilarious. You want to make profound points, go on the McLaughlin Group, Bippy.
Come to think of it, you're pretty amusing yourself. After all, you've got what has to be the dumbest user name in my recollection. What the fuck is that? "PorntoBorn???" What are you, dyslexic or something? Why don't you try and take your GED? Maybe you'll learn some syntax and grammar.
Now I have a question for the Reverend Des: What do you think of your son's blasphemy in yesterday's LA Times, wherein he repeatedly compares hiimself to Jesus? I'd be interested in your take on this.
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#260642 - 07/25/07 08:33 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 01/12/07
Posts: 55
Loc: Corner of Canoga and Saticoy
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Quote:
Quote:
Hey, you wanna laugh, turn on Comedy Channel. I'm making profound points here, bippy
Come to think of it, you're pretty amusing yourself. After all, you've got what has to be the dumbest user name in my recollection.
Yeah, you're right. It's not nearly as clever as "Jim B." OMFG...... 
Shit dude, the least you could do is call yourself "Jim B. - Luke F. apologist."
_________________________
"I can relate to Larry Craig. Like the good senator from Idaho, I am not gay, but I do like, on occasion, to prowl airport men's rooms for a little hot man-on-man action. Again, that doesn't make me gay."
-Jamesn
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#260643 - 07/25/07 08:52 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Jim B's my name, like jamesn, Willie D, Sergio "Chico" Travieso and several others here. Yours is simply dyslexic and dumb.
I've given Luke more shit on this board than you could possibly dream up. My problem with you is that, well, your material sucks. It's not funny, it has no point and it's nothing that hasn't been said before.
Keep it up, though. You're well on your way to being named Dumbfuck of the Week.
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#260645 - 07/25/07 10:41 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Dumbfuck of the Week is really an amateur Title. Donnie won it his first week here. But now that he's elevated himself to Grandmaster status, he's ineligible. As for Knox, he turned pro years ago. They compete in a much more elite league than P2B.
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#260647 - 07/26/07 12:25 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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Must suck to be you. No real porn career, zero earning potential in later life and writing begging letters to take part in bukkake shoots when mommy and daddy can't meet your bills.
Living the dream, Ryan. Living the dream.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#260649 - 07/26/07 12:38 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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You don't work for JM. Anymore.
Ryan, with so many scenes shot each week and comparatively few guys to go round, you should have a lot more work.
You don't.
Speaks volumes, doesn't it?
My mom's First World, incidentally. That's where people with money live. You've probably seen footage of it on that black and white TV you got from Goodwill.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#260650 - 07/26/07 02:32 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
Must suck to be just a fan.
Actually, Knox, I'm a judge, not a fan. In fact, i'm the only Judge and Jury, since i invented Dumbfuck of the Week, and have been the only person to give out said award. Like I said, you're just waaayyy overqualified to compete. You should be proud of being in such a special catagory. It makes you eligible for all kinds of Government programs. Hot Lunch. Free de-lousing. Plus you get to ride on your own special bus. it's the short one parked out front.
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#260651 - 07/26/07 10:10 PM
Luke Is Everywhere
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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He's even on my e-mail:
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#260653 - 07/27/07 02:37 PM
Re: Luke Is Everywhere
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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Cryin, your time here on XPT is like your time in the real world: you contribute nothing.
Real porn, huh? That's it Ryan, you live one day at a time, from job to job, looking forward to that day when you can retire on a big fat pension.
Oh, my bad!
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#260655 - 07/28/07 12:22 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Moxie, stop trying to be a nice guy and spare his feelings. Ryan has neither Dignity nor Feelings, nor has he ever had them. All he has is a vague, tenuous anthropomorphic illusion of humanity which isn't even enough to be degraded by JM anymore.
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#260656 - 07/30/07 11:39 AM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 01/12/07
Posts: 55
Loc: Corner of Canoga and Saticoy
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My, haven't we gotten off topic; let's stay focused people. Here's one more reason why you-know-who is a complete dipshit. From his weak (used to be a lot stronger) site last week, this burning issue of the day: “Why mainstream movies are sexy, and porn movies aren’t†The silly shit seems obsessively compelled to wage his silly, futile Jihad against Adult (what is his problem with XXX?; Holly – insights please) at every chance, but as we all know, porn is waay sexier than mainstream, and porn whores, at least a lot of ‘em, are waay hotter than most mainstream stars, who they have supplanted as contemporary culture’s real Sex Goddesses. There isn't a single mainstream star I'd rather do than say, a Perfect Eleven such as Briana Banks, for example. Sexual repression is a sad, pathological thing, isn't it? Hey Edsel, have you considered therapy? Speaking of sexual repression, I read that eminent psychotherapist Albert Ellis, the author of numerous books, including, most prominently – hey Ford, listen up, here - Sex Without Guilt, recently passed. I take it that dips hit never read Ellis. Well, it’s never too late. Who knows? Maybe he is curable, though I kind of doubt it. Finally... Quote:
My problem with you is that, well, your material sucks. It's not funny,
Jimbo, studies suggest that people who have a disproportionate need to laugh are chronically depressed. Have you considered therapy? Prozac? Or - I didn't really want to say it, but… - simply ending it all?
P.S. - Dude, "Rommel," though obviously white trash, is clearly winnin' your little spat. Shouldn't let him push your buttons so easily for all to see. Might have to swoop in and bail out your thoroughly kicked ass. Wow, politics really do make strange bedfellows...
_________________________
"I can relate to Larry Craig. Like the good senator from Idaho, I am not gay, but I do like, on occasion, to prowl airport men's rooms for a little hot man-on-man action. Again, that doesn't make me gay."
-Jamesn
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#260657 - 07/30/07 12:47 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 04/03/07
Posts: 786
Loc: on the dark side of the moon
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Quote:
My, haven't we gotten off topic; let's stay focused people. Here's one more reason why you-know-who is a complete dipshit.
Because he posts disturbing stuff like this, about French porn for example:
"Raffaëla also wrote about the sexual exploitation of women and the human suffering she has witnessed in the porno industry, including the case of Eastern European women, who are trafficked into the French porno industry (these women are poor and forced to "work" to pay their pimps):
"I consider those scenes [of double and triple penetration] as real "hardcore" […].
Other girls got worse. Starting with double vaginal penetration, double anal penetration, then both at the same time.
Imagine four guys, north-south, east-west, and the girl on doggie-style, barely able to breathe, during a two-minute close-up, the minimal time required […].
I’ve seen those girls [from Eastern Europe] suffering and crying […].
Imagine a girl with no experience, not speaking the [same] language, far away from her home, sleeping at a hotel or on the set. She’s got to do a double penetration, a vaginal fisting, along with an anal fisting, sometimes both at the same time, a hand up her ass, sometimes too.
At the end, you’ve got a girl in tears who’s pissing blood because of lesions, and who generally shits herself because noboby explained to her that she needed an enema.[…]
After the scene which they are not allowed to interrupt, and anyway nobody listens to them, the girls get two hours to rest."
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#260659 - 08/01/07 07:51 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 01/12/07
Posts: 55
Loc: Corner of Canoga and Saticoy
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Yet another reason:
August 1, 2007, 2:38 PM
Why Do Porn Chicks Get So Bent Out Of Shape About Animals?
By LUKE IS BACK |
Because they are not fulfilling their biological imperative to reproduce.
Once you have kids, it’s harder to obsess about things that don’t matter much.
***
Biology not your strong suit, Einstein? We're all animals and all the products of evolution. Yet, only homo sapiens kill for pleasure and are solely responsible among the various species for horrors such as various genocides down through the centuries. I prefer the company of cats and dogs to most humans, except of course, porn whores, who are the human race's most highly evolved members, its crowning achievement.
Seems to me you should be praising Carmen. Isn't compassion high up on religion's list of virtues? Only you, due to your tunnel-visioned, irrational hatred of porn, lack the objectivity to praise an obvious good thing when you see it. Instead, you twist it into something negative. You're pathetic and loathsome. And once more, on the wrong side of an issue.
_________________________
"I can relate to Larry Craig. Like the good senator from Idaho, I am not gay, but I do like, on occasion, to prowl airport men's rooms for a little hot man-on-man action. Again, that doesn't make me gay."
-Jamesn
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#260660 - 08/01/07 08:01 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/06
Posts: 6557
Loc: 2004 - the glory days
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I think you're taking Luke a little too seriously.
_________________________
"You are the worst poster in xpt yet I can't stop talking about you" - smelly monkey
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#260661 - 08/02/07 03:44 AM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Ah, King, remember it's Bippy. He wants post "Profound Truths"
He's never heard the wisdom of Dr. Travieso:
"You want serious, go over to AZT. They are as serious as they get. No sense of humor there."
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#260662 - 08/24/07 05:57 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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ADT regular
Registered: 05/05/07
Posts: 4
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G'day, mates. It's the old Rev. Desmond Ford here, popping back in for a spot of rancor and Vegemite. My gay son Luke Ford and his brother are like chalk and cheese, I reckon. I still don't understand how my loins could have produced such a fair-dinkum dimwit as Luke. He recently cried like a girl and announced that porn actress Taylor Wane "attacked" him. I saw the video, and in Australia, we call that a handshake. I must say, I could take on a bit of that Taylor Wane myself. And she'd know it, too, by cracky! My faggot son Luke Ford should be grabbed by the scruff of his miserable neck, knocked about, and have his ears boxed for his woeful whingeing. I'd do it myself - Lord knows, I've tried in the past - but since I have a Sunday sermon to compose, I was wondering if you fine XPT gents could sort the boy out in my stead. I'd be very grateful; it'd be ANZAC biscuits and milk for all you lads! I'll be back soon with some further bulletins regarding my gay son Luke Ford and his buggering antics with his childhood friend WAYNE CHERRY. I have a story involving a kookaburra that'll disturb the lot of you, I promise! Carry on, gents -- here's mud in your tankard!
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#260663 - 08/26/07 07:18 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 01/12/07
Posts: 55
Loc: Corner of Canoga and Saticoy
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Quote:
G'day, mates. It's the old Rev. Desmond Ford here, popping back in for a spot of rancor and Vegemite. My gay son Luke Ford and his brother are like chalk and cheese, I reckon. I still don't understand how my loins could have produced such a fair-dinkum dimwit as Luke. He recently cried like a girl and announced that porn actress Taylor Wane "attacked" him. I saw the video, and in Australia, we call that a handshake. I must say, I could take on a bit of that Taylor Wane myself. And she'd know it, too, by cracky! My faggot son Luke Ford should be grabbed by the scruff of his miserable neck, knocked about, and have his ears boxed for his woeful whingeing. I'd do it myself - Lord knows, I've tried in the past - but since I have a Sunday sermon to compose, I was wondering if you fine XPT gents could sort the boy out in my stead. I'd be very grateful; it'd be ANZAC biscuits and milk for all you lads! I'll be back soon with some further bulletins regarding my gay son Luke Ford and his buggering antics with his childhood friend WAYNE CHERRY. I have a story involving a kookaburra that'll disturb the lot of you, I promise! Carry on, gents -- here's mud in your tankard!
Ah, the good Rev., you're back. And none too soon, I might add. You see, Jim B's chronic depression had once more set in, this time worse than ever. But your sparkling genius wit has again given him much-prayed-for blessed relief, fleeting as it is. So, you come back real soon now, you hear?
Now, back on topic. Bring me the head of Puke Whored!
_________________________
"I can relate to Larry Craig. Like the good senator from Idaho, I am not gay, but I do like, on occasion, to prowl airport men's rooms for a little hot man-on-man action. Again, that doesn't make me gay."
-Jamesn
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#260665 - 09/07/07 09:45 AM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 1045
Loc: Putting the POW in powerbottom...
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I don't know if this makes Luke a Dipshit or is just further evidence of an extreme Psychosis.
HE SEEMS TO BE CYBER STALKING HIS EX GIRLFRIEND HOLLY RANDALL
And TODAY he repost a Holly Emotional Recollection of how she felt on Her birthday.
It's a trend I've notice before posting on this site. I really didn't know they were formerly intimate. I just thought they had some working relationship. I did think that his posting about her rehab was quite odd. However in the last 48 hours he has reposted some thing she has posted on his "BLOG". First she posted some old news about Cythera on XPT and He reposted it on his blog. I pointed this out to Holly and Luke has taken the page down(when does he EVER take any page down without a lawsuit. (Post number #261060 in Holly's Thread.."Because it's My birthday..")
Then He post some creepy IM exchange with her.
EVIDENCE OF LUKES CREEPY STALKING
LUKE'S SMARMY HOLLY BIRTHDAY POST
Couple this with the FACT if you do a search for Holly's name on his Blog it RETURNS TEN PAGES OF HITS!!!!
Luke this goes from psychosis to full on mental disorder
Holly I'm sure if you look outside your home late at night REALLY CLOSELY you'll see LUKE driving past your home. I'm sure his is playing BLONDIE'S song "One Way or Another" on a loop on his Car's Eight Track, At the very least the album Parallel Lines. 
You can say all you want about Air supply. Aussies LOVE BLONDIE. Further more a Young Debbie harry has a passing resemblance to Holly. HAWT is HAWT no matter what the Decade.
Holly I think you should sit down with Luke at a Dinner in a very Public and NICE resturaunt. Over a meal you can explain to him IT'S OVER and he can NEVER HAVE YOU.
If that doesn't work.
RESTRAINING ORDER.
If that doesn't work
Get a Judge to present him with a Cease and desist ORDER.
If that doesn't work.
Go to the State Department and GET HIM DEPORTED.
Edited by Karma'sFist (09/07/07 09:50 AM)
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#260666 - 09/07/07 01:55 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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You are the one stalking Holly.
Stop using Lord Fuke to justify your very creepy fasination with Holly.
Try licking your yellow frog instead. Go on. It's Lemon Flavored!!
Btw, Holly & Deb Harry are both hip, gifted and brilliant. I don't see any physical thing unless Holly dyes her hair. That's me.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!! 
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#260667 - 09/18/07 11:23 PM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 01/12/07
Posts: 55
Loc: Corner of Canoga and Saticoy
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Quote:
Quote:
Biology not your strong suit, Einstein? We're all animals and all the products of evolution. Yet, only homo sapiens kill for pleasure and are solely responsible
so you're incorrect. for an example, orcas kill for "pleasure" all the time.
In that case, then I hope they take great "pleasure" in killing you tubby. Now jump into Boston Harbor already, and start swimming out to sea.
_________________________
"I can relate to Larry Craig. Like the good senator from Idaho, I am not gay, but I do like, on occasion, to prowl airport men's rooms for a little hot man-on-man action. Again, that doesn't make me gay."
-Jamesn
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#260668 - 09/19/07 05:11 AM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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look at the pedant puffing itself up, trying to pretend it wasn't just intellectually-victimized yet again. Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Biology not your strong suit, Einstein? We're all animals and all the products of evolution. Yet, only homo sapiens kill for pleasure and are solely responsible
so you're incorrect. for an example, orcas kill for "pleasure" all the time.
In that case, then I hope they take great "pleasure" in killing you tubby. Now jump into Boston Harbor already, and start swimming out to sea.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#260669 - 09/19/07 05:11 AM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit? *DELETED*
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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Post deleted by jamesn
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#260670 - 09/19/07 05:59 AM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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Top posting and posting a duplicate ... You're too good a poster to do this.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!!
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#260671 - 09/20/07 04:31 AM
Re: What Makes Luke Ford Such a Complete Dipshit?
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Human Garbage
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 1681
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What makes Luke Ford such a complete dipshit? Simple. He's a porn "reporter" who would rather write about Judaism than porn. Boring all around.
_________________________
There's not a woman alive who has not wanted to be treated like a whore. It's in their genes.
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my personal favorite 
sorry guys, I'm fresh outta comebacks. 
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