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I'm so boring. Never been in trouble nor close to it. Never dated drug dealers or convicts- not even of ClubFed variety. Did porn with a few ex-cons, though.

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The Gia Rap Sheet:

You dont do drugs (that we know of except caffeine), nor do you really drink either, right?

You have NO Tatoos, no ridiculous piercings like a 4 inch nail thru your clit, no scars from caesarian sections typical of girls too young to use their birth canals to give birth but not too young for the one-way passage of 25 million little white immigrants passing the Statue of Ovary.

You eat well, almost to a fault (cuz you wouldnt be able to enjoy many of my best, most succulent dishes), and you actually have some net worth and save money.

You have a simple tasteful elegant sense of style that actually GETS & UNDERSTANDS that High Price Tags DO NOT equal better taste/style/value ... you also like and excel at some mathematical applications and theory and possess an well above average intellect .... and most importantly/astonishingly when compared to the typical self centered clueless narcissistic porn whore, you have the perspective and satisfaction of the customer foremost in your mind, whether they are buying, real estate, Prada merchandise, Coffee, Pornography, Gucci Bags (or Dump Trucks), viewing/reading your AVN Photos and commentary, and/or purchasing Lap Dances/Escort 'Experiences' (i.e. Cash For gash)...

Its almost like you are a super-refined whore with all the impurities and carcinogenic elements removed so that we are left with ..... what exactly? The perfect woman? Nah, even you Gia are too down-to-earth to claim that. I mean, "I am not used to my filth being this clean" (so also said Tom Hanks, America's greatest living actor in Bachelor Party.) You must be addicted to something Gia....GOD PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IT IS! < Burg moves closer to the screen... :bananaintervention: :banana12stepwhackfest: >

I never did see Gia's scene that everyone talks about where she heartily exclaims "All for the Love of Anal..." I missed that one, but I am probably better off because such sincere, no bullshit, integrity filled work, by a woman who actually has her shit together in an industry where people shit all over themselves and each other everyday would leave me totally bereft of any whackable, jerkoff-able capacity whatsoever. I mean, I want Gia to advise me on redecorating/furnishing my house for christ sakes!

A song for Gia ---> "Goody Two Shoes" by Adam Ant

Renamed for her to "Goody Two ... Prada Sandals" ) ....

...fuck it, how about "Goody *the capacity of a dumptruck filled with* Prada Sandals"....

With the heartbreak open
So much you can't hide
Put on a little makeup makeup
Make sure they get your good side good side

If the words unspoken
Get stuck in your throat
Send a treasure token token
Write it on a pound note pound note

Goody two, goody two, goody goody two shoes
Goody two, goody two, goody goody two shoes

Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Subtle innuendos follow
There must be something inside

We don't follow fashion
That would be a joke
You know we're going to set them set them
So everyone can take note take note

When they saw you kneeling
Crying words that you mean
Opening their eyeballs eyeballs
Pretending that you're Al Green Al Green

Goody two, goody two, goody goody two shoes
Goody two, goody two, goody goody two shoes

Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Subtle innuendos follow
There must be something inside

No one's gonna tell me
What's wrong or what's right
Or tell me who to eat with sleep with
Or that I've won the big fight big fight

Look out or they'll tell you
You're a "Superstar"
Two weeks and you're an all time legend
I think the games have gone much too far

If the words unspoken
Get stuck in your throat
Send a treasure token token
Write it on a pound note pound note

Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Subtle innuendos follow
There must be something inside