You know Lackwood is getting feedback from others on what we say about him, so here goes:

Hi, dirtbag, how are you?

I know it eats you up inside, that you can't just go off the meds and fire off some MySpace blasts like you used to, or show up and challenge some random dude to a fight. Even funnier, you're only doing it for the money. Your monetary future is linked to you beginning to behave like something other than a simian washed up band roadie and male escort. Did you really blow Jennifer James after shooting wrapped on Exxxtra, like I've been hearing? Or maybe you and your fake-ex-cop buddy Jackoff Lawrence took turns.

Just keep it all bottled up, so you can continue to earn some scratch. And thank the creator that Alana elected to abort the genetic cesspool that you shot into her.