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#165667 - 05/08/06 06:56 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Dude, I am SO not Smiling Arab. I've never even posted here before until I signed on as KWR. Sorry. I don't even know who the fuck Smiling Arab is. And honestly, despite those who think I'm some PC liberal, friends of mine died in the WTC so, while I'm not prejudiced against Arabs, I sure as hell would not identify myself as one. It'd be in bad taste given my actual background.
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#165668 - 05/08/06 06:59 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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Quote:
I think Gen should get a limo!
I like having control and driving the car. It's fun running old ladies off the road. I'd go out of my mind having to sit in the back of a limo because well... what would I do with myself?  the fayner diet is not my forte. Maybe I can start a trend of snorting the contents in green tea bags for quicker results 
Does Kelly Wells have a "$1M" Luis Vuitton bag? 
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#165669 - 05/08/06 07:03 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Ah, but Gen, you can tell the driver to run old ladies off the road and escape blame. It's kind of like playing a "Death Race 3000" video game...
Fayner really kind of ruined that website. It was better when Martin Brimmer and Duke Floored ran it. These days it's like listening to one's naked, stoned neighbors who think they're funnier and hotter than they are. Some days it's cool, and Taylor is hot, but most days I just walk away thinking I've wasted 10 minutes I will never get back.
And there is something one can sniff that's a tea leaf of some sort which is legal and approaches cocaine effects. Damn if I can remember what, though. I just know people shouldn't eat morning glory seeds. Saw a kid nearly buy it from those.
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#165671 - 05/08/06 07:15 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Yep. Smoked nutmeg, tried morning glory seeds, and had a few try the autoerotic asphixiation "Michael Hutchence INXS RIP" method. I'm in my mid-30s and I get the impression the entire generation in their 20s are like the kids we used to hate partying with, because they'd do dumb shit, i.e. drink an entire case then run naked down the street to steal a stopsign, or ask "Hey, man, you holding?" in front of a cop.
Could just be I'm getting old.
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#165672 - 05/08/06 07:33 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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All right I am finished with this. No explanation and the banality goes on and on and on.
and on.
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#165673 - 05/08/06 07:40 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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What's the difference between porn stars and XPT posters?
One has anal sex, and the other has banal intercourse.
What's the difference between a midget pickpocket and a venereal disease?
Well, one is a cunning runt and the other....
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#165674 - 05/08/06 07:56 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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Quote:
What's the difference between porn stars and XPT posters?
One has anal sex, and the other has banal intercourse.
What's the difference between a midget pickpocket and a venereal disease?
Well, one is a cunning runt and the other....
... rotting cunt? They have VD.
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#165675 - 05/08/06 07:58 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Quote:
One has anal sex, and the other has banal intercourse.
I give you credit for that one. No more.
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#165679 - 05/08/06 08:44 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 01/02/04
Posts: 440
Loc: Lake Michigan
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Quote:
Quote:
I wish someone would explain to me wtf happened in this thread? 
Some dipshit(KWR) thought it would be a great idea to get Kelly Wells to marry him in this thread which happens to be in the least read section of the board.
For a quick summary: Phlog handed him his ass, ChristianXXX tried to check him(KWR didn't listen), a couple posters accused KWR of being SA, and then Gen showed up. It went downhill from there.
**Edit to add**
How in the hell did we get to 6pages/110posts of this shit people 
I take offence to the idea that Gen is in any way reponsible for the runaway nature of this thread. It is my oponion that Gen is the closest thing that we have to sanity in this assylum.
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#165681 - 05/08/06 09:10 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 01/02/04
Posts: 440
Loc: Lake Michigan
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Quote:
It basically all started from threats to ban MKW, so booyah! 
As long as the blame doesn't somehow het shifted to you then all is good.
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#165683 - 05/08/06 09:15 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 01/02/04
Posts: 440
Loc: Lake Michigan
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Quote:
The thread did inspire me to jerk off to Kelly Wells choke- snotting all over a giant cock, so all said and done, it wasn't a total loss. I must thank everyone responsible. 
Although I don't think Kelly Wells had anything to do with this thread. I think it would also be nice to thanks her for defiling herself on screen for your pleasure.
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#165684 - 05/08/06 09:26 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 12/15/05
Posts: 62
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Quote:
Quote:
The thread did inspire me to jerk off to Kelly Wells choke- snotting all over a giant cock, so all said and done, it wasn't a total loss. I must thank everyone responsible.
Although I don't think Kelly Wells had anything to do with this thread. I think it would also be nice to thanks her for defiling herself on screen for your pleasure.
God bless her sweet defiled heart. (I hope the people close to her will relay this message for me).  
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#165685 - 05/08/06 11:45 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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Quote:
How in the hell did we get to 6pages/110posts of this shit people
This is what happens when certain pillars of the community go on walkabout. 
(or return incognito) shhhhhhhhh.
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#165686 - 05/09/06 01:26 AM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
Actually, last I saw she was driving a black Ford Explorer or Suburban, with leather seats, IIRC. And she said it was hers. It was one of those gas-guzzling monsters.
KWR, perhaps if you had been on XPT a little longer, you would already know the First Law of Porn handed down from the mount by none other than Jeff Steward himself:
'Whores Lie' 
Take it to heart, for it will serve you well in the years to come...
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#165690 - 05/09/06 01:28 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/05
Posts: 4726
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
Quote:
Actually, last I saw she was driving a black Ford Explorer or Suburban, with leather seats, IIRC. And she said it was hers. It was one of those gas-guzzling monsters.
And wasn't it Gia guesstimating Kelly could have made a half a million last year due to sheer number of scenes done?
No, that wasn't me. Revealing a person's income is entirely tacky.
Kelly's a friend of mine. When we hang out, it's usually fine dining. Other than that, I've never seen her spend money outlandishly. She's reserved in public and prefers to socialize with one or two individuals instead of groups. She's an introvert, but she'll always tell you what's on her mind if you ask. I think that sex is Kelly's favorite escape since I've come to know that she truly has what she's called sexual depravity.
Does she get high alone too?
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#165693 - 05/09/06 06:41 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Human Garbage
Registered: 07/05/04
Posts: 1545
Loc: In the tree outside Gia Jordan...
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#165694 - 05/09/06 07:22 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Stormy's Lawyer
Registered: 12/29/05
Posts: 23
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This is all too funny! U are all entertaining me! This is funny shit... I mean honestly. Wow, some of you think I do drugs. Ladies and Gentlemen I do not NEED drugs. They pollute the body, the mind, and the soul. But what does it matter if I did or didn't. I don't owe anybody an explanation. There is only one person in life you have to prove anything too, and that is yourself. We are supposed to be talking about pornography on this site, fuck talking about whore's money and their SUVS. What you all are really trying to say is "what is this bitch doing with her money that keeps her from giving it to me??!!"
As far as what I drive, all I will say is this: all cars are the same no matter how you look at it, they are all a hunk of metal on wheels that guzzle gas, and have no appreciative value, unless for some reason some motherfucker 25 years from now calls what you drive today a classic and wants to pay some real money for it.
By the way, sadly I did not make the suggested $500,000 last year. That is a bit much, you think? Let's be realistic Ladies and Gents!
Good day!
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#165698 - 05/09/06 08:21 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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christian man, i'd hang on to willie's every word-the difference between good/average management of a few hundred k of a porn career ends up being vector-changingly signifigant in a few decades. hey, it's just more huge-boobed escorts when you're 50. happy birthday.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#165699 - 05/09/06 08:47 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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Quote:
This is all too funny! U are all entertaining me! This is funny shit... I mean honestly. Wow, some of you think I do drugs. Ladies and Gentlemen I do not NEED drugs. They pollute the body, the mind, and the soul. But what does it matter if I did or didn't. I don't owe anybody an explanation. There is only one person in life you have to prove anything too, and that is yourself. We are supposed to be talking about pornography on this site, fuck talking about whore's money and their SUVS. What you all are really trying to say is "what is this bitch doing with her money that keeps her from giving it to me??!!"
As far as what I drive, all I will say is this: all cars are the same no matter how you look at it, they are all a hunk of metal on wheels that guzzle gas, and have no appreciative value, unless for some reason some motherfucker 25 years from now calls what you drive today a classic and wants to pay some real money for it.
By the way, sadly I did not make the suggested $500,000 last year. That is a bit much, you think? Let's be realistic Ladies and Gents!
Good day!
Oh Kelly.. last time I saw you was the day we did Lesbian Bukkake 2. 
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#165700 - 05/09/06 09:09 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9184
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Quote:
What you all are really trying to say is "what is this bitch doing with her money that keeps her from giving it to me??!!"
Interesting post, I think that sentence is probably reversed from the way it actualy is, but whatever. Drugs, maybe you do, maybe not, I suppose it's "up in the air" since there's some plausible deniability. I'll at least give you credit for not having to phone Malice and get your password to come back up in here.
Actually, I think the convergence point of porn and money is the most interesting part of the discussion. Think about the cushy life Ginger Lynn would have if someone had told her for forego those European coke vacations and drop that cashish into an BBB+ short-term bond index fund. The day Michael Millken was arrested, she could have sold out and been rolling. For shits and giggles she could have shorted RJR Nabisco and made a killing.
I mean, really...Kelly, given similar compensation, would you rather run the local Limited Too at the mall, or fart multiple cumshots out your backdoor twice a week? Not that that's a priori bad, my prostate thanks you for your choice. No need to answer in writing, just something to ponder. And blame Da Burg for that "cumfart" visual.
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#165701 - 05/09/06 09:17 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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god mikey got a raw deal. at one point it seemed like he was going to die in prison of cancer on bullshit technicalities for basically starting something that because totally-regular while he was in the can. ivan's a bitch.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#165703 - 05/09/06 09:56 PM
Re: How 'Bout That Michael Millken?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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nothing kills the wood of a stalker like late-80's drexel talk. strangely enough, levine and seigel kinda titillate me in a what if? sense.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#165706 - 05/10/06 11:03 AM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 01/02/04
Posts: 440
Loc: Lake Michigan
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Quote:
Quote:
As far as what I drive, all I will say is this: all cars are the same no matter how you look at it, they are all a hunk of metal on wheels that guzzle gas, and have no appreciative value,
This is the kind of shit people say when they spend all of there money on drugs and have non left to buy a decent ride. 
That may be but I have a decent ride and I feel the same way that she does. As long as the ride is reliable I think that is all that matters. I don't see the point in to putting so much money into a vechile when you arn't even it that much (unless your a truck driver). I think it makes more sence to put your money into your house and invest it or spend it on other things that you have fun with. As long as the vechile is decent and doesn't seem to break down everyday then I really that is just fine.
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#165708 - 05/10/06 03:42 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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Quote:
Quote:
As far as what I drive, all I will say is this: all cars are the same no matter how you look at it, they are all a hunk of metal on wheels that guzzle gas, and have no appreciative value,
This is the kind of shit people say when they spend all of there money on drugs and have non left to buy a decent ride.
I don't know Jeff... I can understand things are different when you can afford that hot piece of work (lamborghini). But, my Lincoln LS may be a nice feel behind the wheel, I dont believe it was worth the price tag that they usually go for. It would have been more reasonable to just stick to a camry at the time.
But I dont completely disagree with you.
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#165709 - 05/10/06 03:43 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 03/09/06
Posts: 70
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Quote:
Don't you know Latin's a dead language, Wildo? Hell, I use it in my profession and I knew that...
Are you one of these child-molesting catholic priests, KWR?
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#165711 - 05/10/06 04:13 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Nope. Interesting guesses, though. I am Catholic, and I considered being a priest when I was in 4th grade, but then puberty hit and I realized the whole vow of celibacy thing wouldn't work.
Gia, thank you for defending Kelly. These drug allegations are some serious bullshit, as far as I can see.
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#165712 - 05/10/06 04:45 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 03/09/06
Posts: 70
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Quote:
Nope. Interesting guesses, though. I am Catholic, and I considered being a priest when I was in 4th grade, but then puberty hit and I realized the whole vow of celibacy thing wouldn't work.
Gia, thank you for defending Kelly. These drug allegations are some serious bullshit, as far as I can see.
It doesn't seem to bother quite a few priests either, so I hear.
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#165713 - 05/10/06 04:46 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Yeah, but those are shitty priests. There are some good ones. I still go to mass, oddly enough.
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#165714 - 05/10/06 07:01 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Human Garbage
Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 1594
Loc: The "Phlogbox", apparently.
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Quote:
Yeah, but those are shitty priests. There are some good ones. I still go to mass, oddly enough.
The Priests probably have a better shot of fucking Kelly than you do. What girl wouldn't want to steal a man from God?
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#165715 - 05/10/06 07:10 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/03/03
Posts: 5849
Loc: TX, USA
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I just noticed that Kelly is now rep'd by Spiegler.
_________________________
"If they can't picture me with a knife, forcing them to strip in an alley, I don't want any part of it. It's humiliating." - windsock
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#165716 - 05/11/06 03:20 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Hey, you know...this thread actually has me thinking. Someone should do a "Newlyweds with Nick and Jessica" styled porn series, maybe one called "Who Wants To Marry A Porn Queen?" Every episode could deal with the hilarious and heartwarming misadventures of the couple. His boss is coming over for dinner; she's just done a double anal in a porn film his boss rented. The fun never stops... So what do you say, Kelly? I think we have a million seller and you'd do a far better job as "America's Sweetheart" than Jessica Simpson. 
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