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So if I ever have kids, I think I'll be answering the door in the nude with a boner and a large hatchet when boys come calling. I know what boys are like. And I know what I was like.

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THIS is your advice? Actually, hmmmmm....I could get some mileage out of that. Should I wear a mask, or just go for the ICP / Slipknot / Mudvayne -style grease paint? Would a codpiece work? Because I'm not as young as I used to be, I don't just sprout boners when the wind blows like when I was 16, you know. A good codpiece, though -- that could work.

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WELL! What did you want me to say? Give you the John Ritter 7 Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter Who's Starting To Fatten Up As She Gets A Bit Older But You Can Root The "Ugly" Daughter Because Clearly I Only Have An Incestusous Relationship With The Blonde One But The Brunette Is Still Kinda Hot If You Like That Sort Of Thing line?

You know, all saccarine and bang on 22.5 minutes [excluding ads] exactly everyone learns a valuable lesson about this weeks drama and embrace in a big warm hug?


I think wrinkly ball-sack would probably be enough. Its extra points if you get your wife nude too and say "This is what my daughter will look like after you knock her up and have a shotgun [I do own a shotgun you know, its within arms reach at all times] wedding and are forced to live with her for the rest of your increasinly miserable life."


If you go the slipknot etc route, he'll think you're cool, or trying to be welcoming. Coz that's what the kids are into G.


My old ex-gf's father used to sometimes sit there watching TV in his jocks, totally unashamadly. So I'm not sure that will work. I still went downstairs into her room and fucked her arse with both her crazy parents upstairs.

Something for you to think about.