Okay I won't be able to handle this if this guy isn't real. So if its a made up account by someone here please step forward now before i put all my faith back into jesus as he has clearly shown he has a purpose for me on this earth. (monkey waits 20 seconds and no one steps forward)

Okay im looking through my cage handbook and yep, we can take on a 330 pound stalker with a heart of gold and the social awareness of a teenage amish boy.