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This morning at about 5am, I was held up at gunpoint in downtown LA.

I was bundled into the back of a van, where about 6 guys beat the shit out of me with bats, stripped me naked, did a freight train on my ass and shot me in the back and the leg. As they bundled me naked and bleeding out of their van about to leave me for dead, I managed to mutter "All I wanted was some pussy." They laughed, said "Hey bro, we can help you out if you're still up for it." So I crawled back into their van and they drove me over the bridge and into East Oakland. Somewhere around Seminary and Foothill they led me in through the broken back window of a derelict crack house, where they beat and raped me some more for about an hour and then provided me with a fine hispanic chick in her early twenties - big saggy titties - named Angela, strangely enough. I busted my nut real good and unhurried for $40.

I'm pissed off that the middleman took a cut and I guess I should have been more scared of the guns, but what the hell guys - you win some you lose some.

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