Random WTF

Posted by: Gigi

Random WTF - 01/20/08 04:05 PM

for the last couple of weeks, someone has been poisoning my new-ish trees on my tree lawn by dumping rock salt around the trunks. last night, this escalated to pouring saltwater on the trees and the soil. no other houses in my neighborhood, just mine. what the fuck? if that motherfucker touches my lilacs, there will be blood. we filed a police report today. stupid, i guess. but annoying. that's all.
Posted by: Bornyo

Re: Random WTF - 01/20/08 04:10 PM

Come on Gigi you have to have some idea of who it is. Is your husband fucking someones wife on the block, or are you fucking someone elses husband? There has to be some reason.
Posted by: gia jordan

Re: Random WTF - 01/20/08 04:17 PM

Possibly, an angry poster from gardenweb.com?
Posted by: Da Burglar

Re: Random WTF - 01/20/08 05:11 PM

Quote:

Possibly, an angry poster from gardenweb.com?



They send me hate e-mails, but they are always with a "Green is Good, You are Not" message so I doubt they would kill her trees. They'd be more apt to uproot them and replant them in some weird annoying spot, like right in front of your picture window. Since you are in the middle of Ohio, it could be anyone...maybe disgruntled patient of your husband's who didnt get the painkillers they desperately wanted. Get a couple German Shepards to patrol your yard.
Posted by: Nugent

Re: Random WTF - 01/20/08 05:43 PM

Quote:

for the last couple of weeks, someone has been poisoning my new-ish trees on my tree lawn by dumping rock salt around the trunks. last night, this escalated to pouring saltwater on the trees and the soil. no other houses in my neighborhood, just mine. what the fuck? if that motherfucker touches my lilacs, there will be blood. we filed a police report today. stupid, i guess. but annoying. that's all.



Does this work on palm trees? Fuckers have blocked a fantastic beach view for a couple of years now...
Posted by: Gunker

Re: Random WTF - 01/20/08 08:10 PM

Quote:

Is your husband fucking someones wife on the block



Wife?

Posted by: Dean Wormer

Re: Random WTF - 01/20/08 09:12 PM

Did you piss Windsock off?
Posted by: Soopergrizz

Re: Random WTF - 01/21/08 09:26 AM

perhaps it's your Meth dealer, trying to get you back in line.
Posted by: Gigi

Re: Random WTF - 01/21/08 12:47 PM

Quote:

perhaps it's your Meth dealer, trying to get you back in line.

in which case, it wasn't rock salt after all . nah, the person i got it from lives two thousand miles away. i'll be checking the trees periodically, though, to see if they're masturbating themselves into oblivion.
Posted by: TonyMalice

Re: Random WTF - 01/24/08 08:56 AM

Put up a camera and catch them in the act!
Posted by: Jigaloo

Re: Random WTF - 01/24/08 09:59 AM

That's a good idea. Gigi, ask Jeremy if you can borrow his new camera.
Posted by: RenfieldGyps

Re: Random WTF - 01/26/08 05:23 PM

Quote:

Quote:

perhaps it's your Meth dealer, trying to get you back in line.

in which case, it wasn't rock salt after all . nah, the person i got it from lives two thousand miles away. i'll be checking the trees periodically, though, to see if they're masturbating themselves into oblivion.

Meth makes you masturbate into oblivion?
Posted by: Gigi

Re: Random WTF - 01/26/08 05:38 PM

duh
Posted by: Handful

Re: Random WTF - 01/27/08 06:33 AM

Every spring we have to replace trees due to salt damage. In most cases it is because cars are travelling too fast in residential area and they splash the curb water up onto a perimeter of the lawn; killing grass and some trees it may come in contact with. Emerald cedars seem to be the most common victim of these drive-by's. If this doesn't help you, Gigi, just start a fullscale lawn war with the neighbour of your choice. It may not solve your tree problem, but it will keep you entertained during the writer's strike.