Porn secrets
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Porn secrets - 06/28/09 08:23 PM
So, I was listening to Satellite Radio on a long drive home this weekend and Howard Stern was talking about how men should never tell their wives/girlfriends what kind of porn they like. I agreed completely and wondered what people on a Porn Industry discussion forum like this thought about his advice.
I have pretty "plain vanilla" taste in porn, but I never have, and never would, show my girlfriend any of the porn I am into. I have had a couple of girlfriends ask me about it, but I have always lied.
Just wondering, do you share your porn interests with your wife or girlfriend?
Posted by: lance69
Re: Porn secrets - 06/28/09 08:51 PM
Yes... if she can't handle the truth then she isn't the one.
Kind of stupid if you don't tell her from the start. Wouldn't you want your woman to share in your fantasies? Also what if she likes the same shit?
Doesn't mean you want her getting gangbaned or bukkaked. It just means you enjoy watching certain porn.
Me and my girlfriend love watching porn. We've been together 8 years and are have a great time watching it together. She picks her porn and I pick mine. Sometimes we have the same tastes and other times our tastes in porn are different. But that's what make's it interesting.
Posted by: loopnode
Re: Porn secrets - 06/28/09 09:24 PM
Quote:
Just wondering, do you share your porn interests with your wife or girlfriend?
I do, but my girlfriend only enjoys porn that has a storyline, so I watch most of the stuff alone then make selections for her based on what I know she likes, which at the moment is Marc Dorcel.
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 06/28/09 09:37 PM
Quote:
Kind of stupid if you don't tell her from the start. Wouldn't you want your woman to share in your fantasies? Also what if she likes the same shit?
Doesn't mean you want her getting gangbaned or bukkaked. It just means you enjoy watching certain porn.
Me and my girlfriend love watching porn. We've been together 8 years and are have a great time watching it together. She picks her porn and I pick mine. Sometimes we have the same tastes and other times our tastes in porn are different. But that's what make's it interesting.
I think you hit the nail on the head.
No, I really don't want to have a relationship with a woman who is into porn like me, and I only like watching the type of porn I am into.
I don't mind dating a woman who is into the same porn as me, I don't mind having sex with a woman who is into porn, I don't mind renting a porn whore for the night, I just wouldn't want them raising my children.
Most women like sex, yet most women don't want their significant other watching movies of women having sex (something they enjoy doing), it is contradictory, but it is true. That is why I agree with Stern's advice.
Some women don't mind if their boyfriend watches women having sex, some women are swingers, some women are prostitutes, some women are porn stars, and some don't mind watching porn themselves, I get that, but aren't they all the vast minority??
Posted by: weeeee
Re: Porn secrets - 06/28/09 11:47 PM
Thats kinda weird that you'd put women who dont mind if their boyfriends/husbands watch porn or watching it themselves in the same category as prostitutes, swingers and porn stars. Vast minority? Maybe in mega prude ville, population: the only women you know. I'd reevaluate that madonna/whore complex you got going on there.
This one guy I dated for like, a second, stands out above all the rest in that he totally made me feel like the dirtiest whore ever. I went through his computer one time to see what kind of porn he liked and I came across this video, it was of this girl playing the piano and slowly stripping naked. That was it.
His internet history was full of pro-amateur soft core solo girl sites. It was like his sexual interested never evolved past his 12 year old mind. I ended up showing him his first hardcore movie ever, he asked me, "where's the cheesy music?"
Where have you been Ceara
Posted by: ben
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 01:20 AM
I think i'd like her to know. I feel i'd want to be able to talk to her about everything
I also don't think the porn you like to watch means you necessarily want to reenact it in real life
I generally like more hardcore porn with DPs and swallowing etc but I like other types of porn too. Sometimes just a girl posing can be sexier than anything for example
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 05:40 AM
Quote:
Thats kinda weird that you'd put women who dont mind if their boyfriends/husbands watch porn or watching it themselves in the same category as prostitutes, swingers and porn stars. Vast minority? Maybe in mega prude ville, population: the only women you know. I'd reevaluate that madonna/whore complex you got going on there.
This one guy I dated for like, a second, stands out above all the rest in that he totally made me feel like the dirtiest whore ever. I went through his computer one time to see what kind of porn he liked and I came across this video, it was of this girl playing the piano and slowly stripping naked. That was it. His internet history was full of pro-amateur soft core solo girl sites. It was like his sexual interested never evolved past his 12 year old mind. I ended up showing him his first hardcore movie ever, he asked me, "where's the cheesy music?"
Well, actually I was trying to group them together, sure, but I was going more for a spectrum from mild (watches porn) to more intense (makes porn) not suggest that watching porn is the same thing as being in one.
Yes, it is a "Madonna/Whore" complex. It is also good common sense dating advice. Believe it or not, most women are not turned on by guys who watch porn. I am sure some women love the idea that their boyfriend is a huge Max Hardcore fan, but most aren't.
I think a better analogy is what do you tell your wife when she asks if you think she looks fat and ugly when she is 8 months pregnant. You may want to have an honest, loving relationship where you can tell each other the truth about anything, but no matter what you really think, you better tell her she looks beautiful. That is just common sense relationship advice.
If your girlfriend asks you if "these pants make my ass look too big", you may (or may not) think they do, but it is bad dating advice to tell her that they do.
If your girlfriend asks you what kind of porn you watch, it is good dating advice to tell her you really aren't that in to porn, and you look at the occasional Playboy whether that is true or not.
These are just my opinions, if you think it is a good idea to leave your porn movies on the shelf with your other dvd's and keep your eastern European piss magazines on your coffee table when you bring your dates home, that's your prerogative, I was just askin'.
Posted by: ben
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 01:46 PM
I LOVE the pregnant look!!!! I also love big butts on women
I like a lot of old porn which my wife also likes because they have storylines. For modern stuff I'm into big butt, pretty straight ahead gonzo. Mason and Jake Malone are about as extreme as I like to watch.
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 02:45 PM
Quote:
I LOVE the pregnant look!!!! I also love big butts on women
I saw that one coming a mile away. 
I was just trying to come up with a couple of examples, choose a different one if those don't work. Topic: things you are dishonest with your girlfriend/wife about just to keep the peace.
So, everybody on here shares their "Throat Gaggers", "Piss Mops", and "Max Hardcore" DVDs with their girlfriends on the first date and love pregnant women with fat assess.
Maybe if there was some way to direct questions to the lurkers that seem to outnumber the members online by about 7 or 8 to one I'd get a few different responses about how open the average guy is with his porn habits?
Anyway, it was just a topic that got me wondering, and it is interesting to see that most people on here have a different take on things than I do. I can't say it isn't tempting to let my freak flag fly, but I'll keep things under wraps for now.
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 02:51 PM
Quote:
I like a lot of old porn which my wife also likes because they have storylines. For modern stuff I'm into big butt, pretty straight ahead gonzo. Mason and Jake Malone are about as extreme as I like to watch.
I wonder if people got the wrong impression, like I was bashing porn or something? I'm not putting anybody's porn habits down, no matter how tame or how unusual.
I just think it is good common sense not to be too open with your significant other about several things in life, and to temper your responses to questions that you know can provoke negative responses, whether it is how you feel about her mother, what you think of her clothes/shoes/hairstyle/whatever, or what kind of porn you watch.
Quote:
Thats kinda weird that you'd put women who dont mind if their boyfriends/husbands watch porn or watching it themselves in the same category as prostitutes, swingers and porn stars. Vast minority? Maybe in mega prude ville, population: the only women you know. I'd reevaluate that madonna/whore complex you got going on there.
This one guy I dated for like, a second, stands out above all the rest in that he totally made me feel like the dirtiest whore ever. I went through his computer one time to see what kind of porn he liked and I came across this video, it was of this girl playing the piano and slowly stripping naked. That was it. His internet history was full of pro-amateur soft core solo girl sites. It was like his sexual interested never evolved past his 12 year old mind. I ended up showing him his first hardcore movie ever, he asked me, "where's the cheesy music?"
stalker warning... 
Posted by: loopnode
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 04:03 PM
Quote:
If your girlfriend asks you what kind of porn you watch, it is good dating advice to tell her you really aren't that in to porn, and you look at the occasional Playboy whether that is true or not.
These are just my opinions, if you think it is a good idea to leave your porn movies on the shelf with your other dvd's and keep your eastern European piss magazines on your coffee table when you bring your dates home, that's your prerogative, I was just askin'.
You honestly can't be serious. How old are you? Even if I'm dating Andrea Dworkin there is simply no way your philosophy would work for me.
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 04:15 PM
Quote:
Quote:
If your girlfriend asks you what kind of porn you watch, it is good dating advice to tell her you really aren't that in to porn, and you look at the occasional Playboy whether that is true or not.
These are just my opinions, if you think it is a good idea to leave your porn movies on the shelf with your other dvd's and keep your eastern European piss magazines on your coffee table when you bring your dates home, that's your prerogative, I was just askin'.
You honestly can't be serious. How old are you? Even if I'm dating Andrea Dworkin there is simply no way your philosophy would work for me.
Mostly serious with a bit of tongue in cheek sarcasm.
Why would "my philosophy" not work for you?
Posted by: cqd
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 04:17 PM
I worked for several years managing stock at a XXX shop. The subject tends to come up and I'm always honest about it.
Discussions about porn tend to follow. Though I will never forget the look on one of my girlfriends faces when she discovered a copy of "Bug Eater 2: Cockroach Eating Girl" on my computer.
Posted by: weeeee
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 04:20 PM
I think there's two variables here were giving full respect to: the type of woman and the type of porn. I guess you could simplify and say there are two types of women who ask "What kind of porn do you watch?" the kind who are genuinely curious and unthreatened by pornography, and the kind who are looking for reassurance that you dont watch porn. I think the latter equate nicely with your analogy of not telling your girlfriend that her butt looks big in her pants, but I don't think those types of girls are the vast majority. Maybe it's just the company I keep, but I cant think of a single female that I know personally that is really bothered by the idea of her man watching porn. It's just common knowledge that most men do. I think lying to the former would just annoy her in that it implies you underestimate her ability to recognize this and the amount of security she has in herself to be okay with that. At least that how i'd feel.
Then there's the type of porn you watch. Yes, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to lie to your girl if you watch max hardcore, meatholes or pissmops, with exceptions of course. But you, E Y, stated earlier that you watch rather vanilla type porn, so what's the big deal? Like I was trying to illustrate in my story, I was far more weirded out by the one boyfriend who had a ridiculously tame taste in porn compared to the others who I perceived as relatively normal. Of course i have almost daily interaction with men wanting to buy my fecal matter so perhaps by perception of what is normal is skewed entirely.
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 04:36 PM
Quote:
I worked for several years managing stock at a XXX shop. The subject tends to come up and I'm always honest about it.
Discussions about porn tend to follow. Though I will never forget the look on one of my girlfriends faces when she discovered a copy of "Bug Eater 2: Cockroach Eating Girl" on my computer.
That is porn or an episode of "Fear Factor"? 
This is getting overly burdensome, but the original post was not about telling lies about if you watch porn at all, but to diplomatically sugarcoat the type of porn you watch.
Posted by: cqd
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 04:45 PM
Nope, no sugar coating ever.
Check out a review of
Bug Eater 2: Cockroach Eating Girl
As of this post the server is down. But I remember a line about "pure psychic pain".
I always let women snoop my computer if they want, but I warn them that they might not like what they find inside.
@EY:
link to box cover.
Posted by: loopnode
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 04:49 PM
Quote:
Why would "my philosophy" not work for you?
To me the idea of being in a relationship where there are so many secrets isn't my idea of a relationship. Chances are, if you can't be open with your woman about your porn addiction/obsession then she'll probably not be open with you about her obsession.
I don't know whether I completely agree with Ceara's "it's probably not a bad idea to lie if you watch Max Hardcore, Piss Mops, Meatholes etc" I think the key here would be approach- or how you explain why you watch what you watch. I do like however how your argument is limited only to porn movies and not pornographic content in general. I guess it's simpler that way.
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 04:53 PM
Quote:
I think there's two variables here were giving full respect to: the type of woman and the type of porn. I guess you could simplify and say there are two types of women who ask "What kind of porn do you watch?" the kind who are genuinely curious and unthreatened by pornography, and the kind who are looking for reassurance that you dont watch porn. I think the latter equate nicely with your analogy of not telling your girlfriend that her butt looks big in her pants, but I don't think those types of girls are the vast majority. Maybe it's just the company I keep, but I cant think of a single female that I know personally that is really bothered by the idea of her man watching porn. It's just common knowledge that most men do. I think lying to the former would just annoy her in that it implies you underestimate her ability to recognize this and the amount of security she has in herself to be okay with that. At least that how i'd feel.
OK, so maybe I didn't do a very good job of explaining that I was not advocating lying about if you watch porn, but rather to minimize the specifics.
Quote:
Then there's the type of porn you watch. Yes, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to lie to your girl if you watch max hardcore, meatholes or pissmops, with exceptions of course. But you, E Y, stated earlier that you watch rather vanilla type porn, so what's the big deal?
This is, in fact, the very heart of my argument. Who is to say that what I consider plain vanilla sex is the same thing as what you consider plain vanilla sex. This is the basis of my advice to lie to your girlfriend. A guy should be smart enough not to get caught in that trap of trying to defend why the porn he likes really isn't as bad as his screaming, crying, wide-eyed girlfriend thinks it is.
Quote:
Of course i have almost daily interaction with men wanting to buy my fecal matter so perhaps by perception of what is normal is skewed entirely.
OK, I have no idea if you are joking or serious, but I think we can safely assume that your idea of vanilla sex probably is different than mine.
Posted by: loopnode
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 05:05 PM
Maybe my idea of "a relationship" is different from yours. Are you talking about a relationship where you live with the person or is this someone you only see once in a while.
How do you live with someone and they don't know what kind of porn you watch? Are you on some sneaking around steaze when she's off to work?
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 05:13 PM
Quote:
Nope, no sugar coating ever.
Check out a review of Bug Eater 2: Cockroach Eating Girl
As of this post the server is down. But I remember a line about "pure psychic pain".
I always let women snoop my computer if they want, but I warn them that they might not like what they find inside.
@EY: link to box cover.
Someday, I may become man enough to watch that movie, but not tonight. 
Let me pose this hypothetical:
What if you really, really liked a girl? You had a great sex life and she was into everything that you were into (sexually and nonsexually) except you knew she did not like porn and felt strongly about it. Would you show her your porn collection if you believed it might end the relationship--or maybe just cause a big fight and recurrent arguments about porn-- or just talk about it in vague nonspecific terms?
Remember: It is easy to be a holy man on the top of a mountain.
Posted by: loopnode
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 05:19 PM
I like how you ignore both my posts. I suppose in your hypothetical universe am also invisible which thus means it doesn't really matter what I'd do.
Posted by: cqd
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 05:24 PM
I would not date/be involved with such a person.
I have before, never again.
I like some pretty weird shit and while I won't subject someone to something they don't want to see it's not going to keep me from owning and appreciating it.
I think pretty much every aspect of human sexuality is fascinating.
In regards to circus acts like Bug Eater I view them as kind of "a sight to behold" and not spank worthy porn.
When I meet a woman I don't say "hi, nice to meet you, you're gonna cream your panties over my collection of anal fisting videos". But if my porn (I like lots of rough non-porn stuff, too) is a deal breaker for her then she can fuck off. Same deal with my music collection (I have lots of bad, racist hardcore, violent misogynistic grindcore...). But if something that I find some value in or appreciate is a deal breaker for her then I guess it's a deal breaker.
I demand to feel comfortable being myself around a partner. If a DVD of some hard porn would be poisonous to a relationship then I'm not interested in getting involved.
I'm comfortable in my own skin and would not date a woman who had such hang-ups.
Plus, I have already seen and enjoyed the porn that would be offensive to her, it's not like I can scrub it from my brain or forget about what I was because she finds it distasteful.
Hope that made sense.
Also, my feelings do not involve getting mocked or teased about any go the things I enjoy. I'm sure any women likes stuff that I'll feel compelled to tease her about. She can go ahead and make fun of my all she wants.
I just wouldn't want to be with anyone who defines me through my possessions/tastes instead of how I behave.
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 05:31 PM
Quote:
Maybe my idea of "a relationship" is different from yours. Are you talking about a relationship where you live with the person or is this someone you only see once in a while.
How do you live with someone and they don't know what kind of porn you watch? Are you on some sneaking around steaze when she's off to work?
I guess I'm trying to include everybody both married and single.
I know you already know this, but in the age of the internet, most guys don't buy physical DVDs anymore. Downloaded porn can be easily hidden. In fact, I've watched porn on my cellphone.
I am single, I am in a relationship with somebody in a sort of "medium distance relationship". She often stays with me for a few days at a time and sometimes I do the same thing at her place. I've never tried to (or wanted to) watch porn with her in the house.
Years ago I was in a relationship with a woman and we did live together and she did not like me watching porn even though she knew I did. I watched porn when she was out of the house on my computer and while I'm sure she suspected, it was sort of an out of sight out of mind type thing.
Edit: Sorry, I'm eating dinner, talking on the phone, fooling around on the computer and letting the dog outside to poop all while watching TV. I'm getting to everything as fast as I can.
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 05:49 PM
Quote:
I do like however how your argument is limited only to porn movies and not pornographic content in general. I guess it's simpler that way.
I don't know what you mean by that? Photos? Magazines? Bad language?
Posted by: cqd
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 05:53 PM
To me it means that interest in items other than pornography might also spoil a relationship the same way you mentioned.
Example: I am not going to hide my Ian Fleming books because I met a girl who doesn't like James Bond.
Or my Anal Cunt albums because she hates stupid grindcore music.
And so on.
Posted by: CxGxPx
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 06:17 PM
Quote:
To me it means that interest in items other than pornography might also spoil a relationship the same way you mentioned.
Example: I am not going to hide my Ian Fleming books because I met a girl who doesn't like James Bond.
Or my Anal Cunt albums because she hates stupid grindcore music.
And so on.
If I was with a black girl I might hide my Stab! albums 
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 06:21 PM
Quote:
To me it means that interest in items other than pornography might also spoil a relationship the same way you mentioned.
Example: I am not going to hide my Ian Fleming books because I met a girl who doesn't like James Bond.
Or my Anal Cunt albums because she hates stupid grindcore music.
And so on.
I think that anybody who would say that those other things, like the music you listen to, carries the same emotional baggage to women as the porn you watch has gotten a bit desensitized to porn.
Posted by: loopnode
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 06:26 PM
Actually I meant something like literature or art which is classified as pornography due to it's transgressive nature. I read books and have art which is classified as pornographic yet it isn't necessarily about two people engaged in coitus.
You said you were once with a woman that didn't like you watching porn but knew you did it. I think what most women fear is that men turn into blithering idiots when they watch porn, lustfully craving for the porn whores and willing to spend their last dollar to be with them. As soon as a woman senses competition then you get the scenario where you're given an ultimatum or she leaves.
As for your problems: I believe it's up to you. You can give up porn to satisfy this girl if you think she's worth it (a few people from here did and left forever). I just really think the whole sneaking around thing is kind of silly though it's probably the route many resort to.
Posted by: CxGxPx
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 06:36 PM
Quote:
Quote:
To me it means that interest in items other than pornography might also spoil a relationship the same way you mentioned.
Example: I am not going to hide my Ian Fleming books because I met a girl who doesn't like James Bond.
Or my Anal Cunt albums because she hates stupid grindcore music.
And so on.
I think that anybody who would say that those other things, like the music you listen to, carries the same emotional baggage to women as the porn you watch has gotten a bit desensitized to porn.
music and art can be just as purulent, harsh and carry just as much emotional baggage. Would you leave a Peter Sotos book lying on your coffee table when bringing a girl home from a first date?
DISCLAMER: (I don't personally own any Peter Sotos books)
Posted by: loopnode
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 07:02 PM
Peter doesn't write coffee table books
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 07:37 PM
Quote:
Actually I meant something like literature or art which is classified as pornography due to it's transgressive nature. I read books and have art which is classified as pornographic yet it isn't necessarily about two people engaged in coitus.
You said you were once with a woman that didn't like you watching porn but knew you did it. I think what most women fear is that men turn into blithering idiots when they watch porn, lustfully craving for the porn whores and willing to spend their last dollar to be with them. As soon as a woman senses competition then you get the scenario where you're given an ultimatum or she leaves.
As for your problems: I believe it's up to you. You can give up porn to satisfy this girl if you think she's worth it (a few people from here did and left forever). I just really think the whole sneaking around thing is kind of silly though it's probably the route many resort to.
I don't think it is a personal issue at all, I just thought it was a good bit of advice for guys who sometimes forget that men and women are different.
It is a lot like advising guys not to post pictures of themselves online (like their myspace or facebook page) without a shirt on, flexing their muscles. An immature or unwise young man might think that if he likes seeing pictures of women without their clothes on, and since he wants a red-blooded heterosexual young woman who is into men and likes sex, he'll post a "hot" picture of himself online with his shirt off and the women will love it. Some women get all wet and horny seeing a picture of a guy without his shirt on, but most do not.
Furthermore, I'd say that most average guys don't really want a woman who "responds" to pictures of strange guys with their shirts off online, or who gives out her phone number to guys who whistle at her on the street, or who gets off on your "Throat Gaggers" movies as much as you do.
I do think it is wise advice though, and if I ever have a son, I will tell him that men and women are different, and an example of one of those differences is that most women are not into porn in the same way men are, just like the way most guys are not into shoes the way women are. I will tell my daughter that guys really aren't into shoe shopping and she probably doesn't want to start dating guys who are into women's shoes as much as she is. Sharing porn is a lot like shoe shopping--most of the time one person in the relationship is more into it than the other and it usually splits along gender lines.
I would tell my son not to scratch his balls while talking to his girlfriend's mother, not to send pictures of his dick to a woman hoping to impress her and turn her on, and not to offer to share his porn collection with his girlfriend just because she asks what he likes. Maybe in an established relationship you can start to let things gradually "leak out" over time, but not at the beginning.
I don't mind dating a woman who can drink me under the table, and who belches and farts with abandon, but I don't want to marry one. I feel the same way about porn. I don't want to marry "one of the guys" or my drinking buddy or even somebody just like me.
I don't begrudge you or any other man or woman on the planet from being in a relationship with whoever makes you happy though.
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 08:02 PM
Quote:
music and art can be just as purulent, harsh and carry just as much emotional baggage. Would you leave a Peter Sotos book lying on your coffee table when bringing a girl home from a first date?
DISCLAMER: (I don't personally own any Peter Sotos books)
I don't know anything about Peter Sotos. I wouldn't leave my dirty underwear on the coffee table either, but it just isn't the same thing as leaving porn there.
I cut out a big paragraph in that last post about my ex, her feelings against porn and her background. Her mother was an English professor at an ivy league university and she was an art history major. She was very accepting of all sorts of pornography if it was called literature or art and she was very open sexually, but she felt porn was "disrespectful".
Anyway, I thought of her because I respected her as a person and liked the fact that she was not into porn like me. It was the point in my life when I realized that I love pornstars, I could date a pornstar any day of the week, but that really ain't what I'm looking for. I may be wrong, but outside of XPT, I bet more guys are like me than not. For guys like that, take my advice, don't break out the Max Hardcore videos when your girlfriend asks you what type of porn you watch.
I've always been honest about my porn likes. While it surely has driven off some, it's actually given me a kind of intimacy with girls who are/were curious about porn.
I had a black fuckbuddy in the 90s and she used to bring over tapes she recently bought. All of them were of black girls and white guys. She especially liked being humilated by white men.
I had this very curious but outwardly prudish friend in college. We had a complicated sexual relationship since I was in line to be best man at her wedding.
I took her to the one and only porn theatre in the area where she saw her first porn films. She was anal-phobic and kept thinking that anal sex was happening when it was not. She lasted a good 15-20 minutes during the main feature, but started to cry and then bolted when the lesbian sex began.
But, it did loosen her up a bit.
She had a very slutty best friend and once when they were both drunk they let me finger both at the same time. She even sucked off my finger from her friend [getting her to do anything lesbian was a HUGE fantasy of mine].
In the end, I fell DEEPLY in love with her, she went back to her fiance, and I was left a broken shell.
Posted by: CxGxPx
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 08:25 PM
Quote:
Peter doesn't write coffee table books
Are you saying a copy of PURE wouldn't make a nice edition along side "Historic Farm House Of The Poconos"?
Posted by: weeeee
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 08:29 PM
I guess we all have our tastes EY. Personally, I would never want to be with a guy who was bothered by the idea of me liking the same porn he did. What an odd double standard.
Posted by: CxGxPx
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 08:42 PM
Quote:
Quote:
music and art can be just as purulent, harsh and carry just as much emotional baggage. Would you leave a Peter Sotos book lying on your coffee table when bringing a girl home from a first date?
DISCLAMER: (I don't personally own any Peter Sotos books)
I don't know anything about Peter Sotos. I wouldn't leave my dirty underwear on the coffee table either, but it just isn't the same thing as leaving porn there.
I cut out a big paragraph in that last post about my ex, her feelings against porn and her background. Her mother was an English professor at an ivy league university and she was an art history major. She was very accepting of all sorts of pornography if it was called literature or art and she was very open sexually, but she felt porn was "disrespectful".
Anyway, I thought of her because I respected her as a person and liked the fact that she was not into porn like me. It was the point in my life when I realized that I love pornstars, I could date a pornstar any day of the week, but that really ain't what I'm looking for. I may be wrong, but outside of XPT, I bet more guys are like me than not. For guys like that, take my advice, don't break out the Max Hardcore videos when your girlfriend asks you what type of porn you watch.
This gets into the realm of bringing up the same endless argument about what is considered art and what is considered pure rubbish with no redeeming social value. Where do you draw the line? Viennese Actionism? Marque De Sade? G.G. Allin?
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I would never want to be with a guy who was bothered by the idea of me liking the same porn he did.
Maybe he likes gay and tranny porn.
If she knew she was dating a potential Larry Craig or Jim McGreevey, she'd likely run.
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 09:03 PM
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I would never want to be with a guy who was bothered by the idea of me liking the same porn he did.
Maybe he likes gay and tranny porn.
If she knew she was dating a potential Larry Craig or Jim McGreevey, she'd likely run.
Well, I'm not into that, but, thanks, you have made an excellent point! I am angry I didn't think of that example!
What if you are a heterosexual man who loves tranny porn? Apparently there is enough of a market out there that they make tons of tranny porn. Don't we have a guy here that is in a relationship with a woman but acts in tranny porn?
So, some poor sucker buys into the whole propaganda that men should share their porn preferences with their girlfriend... then his naive young sweetie is feeling a bit frisky and wants to show her new boyfriend that she can be daring and sexy and asks if her boyfriend wants to watch a porno to get in the mood...
... then Alex Panzer breaks out a footlocker full of tranny porn, and while she screams, recoils in horror, and starts putting her clothes back on, he begins to explain, "but, honey, the guys on XPT said I should share my videos with you!"
Trust me, the same scenario takes place with porn a lot more mainstream than tranny porn.
Guys, take my advice, lie about your porn habits and you will have a much happier relationship.
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Thats kinda weird that you'd put women who dont mind if their boyfriends/husbands watch porn or watching it themselves in the same category as prostitutes, swingers and porn stars. Vast minority? Maybe in mega prude ville, population: the only women you know. I'd reevaluate that madonna/whore complex you got going on there.
This one guy I dated for like, a second, stands out above all the rest in that he totally made me feel like the dirtiest whore ever. I went through his computer one time to see what kind of porn he liked and I came across this video, it was of this girl playing the piano and slowly stripping naked. That was it. His internet history was full of pro-amateur soft core solo girl sites. It was like his sexual interested never evolved past his 12 year old mind. I ended up showing him his first hardcore movie ever, he asked me, "where's the cheesy music?"
You're so ugly nymphomaniacs tell you, "Let's just be friends."
Posted by: loopnode
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 10:12 PM
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Are you saying a copy of PURE wouldn't make a nice edition along side "Historic Farm House Of The Poconos"?
If you consider copy and paste style newspaper clippings with xerox rants beside it on the same level as a taschen hardcover picture book then I suppose.
Posted by: CxGxPx
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 10:17 PM
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Are you saying a copy of PURE wouldn't make a nice edition along side "Historic Farm House Of The Poconos"?
If you consider copy and paste style newspaper clippings with xerox rants beside it on the same level as a taschen hardcover picture book then I suppose.
Good grief, that wasn't the point of my smart ass remark and you know it.
Posted by: loopnode
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 10:18 PM
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and if I ever have a son, I will tell him that men and women are different, and an example of one of those differences is that most women are not into porn in the same way men are, just like the way most guys are not into shoes the way women are. I will tell my daughter that guys really aren't into shoe shopping and she probably doesn't want to start dating guys who are into women's shoes as much as she is. Sharing porn is a lot like shoe shopping--most of the time one person in the relationship is more into it than the other and it usually splits along gender lines.
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 06/29/09 10:30 PM
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and if I ever have a son, I will tell him that men and women are different, and an example of one of those differences is that most women are not into porn in the same way men are, just like the way most guys are not into shoes the way women are. I will tell my daughter that guys really aren't into shoe shopping and she probably doesn't want to start dating guys who are into women's shoes as much as she is. Sharing porn is a lot like shoe shopping--most of the time one person in the relationship is more into it than the other and it usually splits along gender lines.
Sorry, man, it may not by politically correct by XPT standards, but there is nothing but truth in there...
Come on you damn Anonymous XPT lurkers, join this forum and shed some light on this board about how the rest of the world lives!
lol I don't think a girl would believe a guy if he said he didn't watch porn. But maybe guys should have some vanilla lovemaking junk ready to pop in if she wants to watch porn one day. If she laughs at it and says you watch sissy porn, maybe she's into the hardcore stuff--you never know.
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lol I don't think a girl would believe a guy if he said he didn't watch porn.
Believe or not there are guys who don't watch porn, and have no interest in watching it.
Certainly the percentage isn't large, but such men do exist.
Posted by: drained
Re: Porn secrets - 07/01/09 05:33 PM
E.Y.Davis might have a problem.
Men and women aren't different in their personalities. They just get brainwashed differently until they decide that no more conditioner is needed, disregard the matter as non-existent or become part of some meager alternative circle to find out that certain annoyances merely are named and justified differently there, where the cool people hang. Societal nonsense is deep like a toilet and technical like a fork. Those not only pretending to not give a shit about anything fare better. Really.
Men and women watch porn, get comfortable with it, hypocrites. When John thinks his shit is too rough for Jane to handle, he is a deluded mental wreck with a partner who believes too much of what is pretended to be acceptable, but not really practiced. What is fine and what is not is generally the opposite of what is pretended to be. It is very simple.
Remainders of an upbringing full of lies and faked ideals will be found anywhere in varying degrees. Puritanical morality is a disease to be eradicated. Its preachers fuck around, fuck their children, fuck other people's children, rape, abuse and take illegal drugs just like the rest of the farm. The attitude is the same, the amount of phony bullshit is different.
People who are desperate enough to be in a relationship with someone dictating the terms for pussy, anus, mouth or dick usage in correlation with porn consumption are fucked up.
People who think that they should be enough for their partner, from whom is demanded not to watch porn, are insecure idiots analogising themselves with a piece of the entertainment industry.
Please stop discussions not including core matters in favour of fascade. Now.
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 07/01/09 07:34 PM
Well, I'll be honest, I don't think I understood much of what you were saying. But, if you were asserting that men and women aren't different, I'm afraid the rest of the known universe and I must modestly disagree.
A comedian (can't remember the name) once said, "When it comes to sex, the difference between men and women is like the difference shooting a bullet and throwing it."
Or, as I have said before, a minnow and a whale may both get hungry, but that does not mean they have the same appetite or want to eat the same things.
Posted by: drained
Re: Porn secrets - 07/02/09 02:12 AM
Fair enough. You didn't make any sense either. Women who don't want to be treated differently can get some contra, men also, but they are often treated like sissies. For illustrative purposes:
What language is Pipe Dream speaking in?
Posted by: nicelisa2009
Re: Porn secrets - 07/02/09 07:01 AM
Loll, you know, the same old story : a woman who's doing her PhD discovers one day "Hey ? why i'm bothering studing this ? why not going and get fucked, i was meant to do this ! that's my revelation!"
hahahaha, this really makes my laugh.
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 07/02/09 08:35 AM
You guys are freakin' me out.
Was I supposed to be getting a secret XPT decoder ring in the mail with my membership, cause I can't figure out what these posts are saying anymore?
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You guys are freakin' me out.
Was I supposed to be getting a secret XPT decoder ring in the mail with my membership, cause I can't figure out what these posts are saying anymore?
Maybe your girlfriend/wife intercepted your ring, but she doesn't know how to broach the subject since you won't talk to her about your porn tastes.
I think there's felt to be a big difference, even in 'educated' and 'free thinking' circles between literary pornography and film pornography.
I know quite a lot of people who have read Sade, Bataille or that hack Ellis but have never met anyone in person who has admitted to watching the like of Max Hardcore (well there was one dude, but he was a little weird).
Silly but true.
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So, I was listening to Satellite Radio on a long drive home this weekend and Howard Stern was talking about how men should never tell their wives/girlfriends what kind of porn they like. I agreed completely and wondered what people on a Porn Industry discussion forum like this thought about his advice.
I have pretty "plain vanilla" taste in porn, but I never have, and never would, show my girlfriend any of the porn I am into. I have had a couple of girlfriends ask me about it, but I have always lied.
Just wondering, do you share your porn interests with your wife or girlfriend?
In life you have two choices. Answer honestly or not at all. My GF knows exactly what I do, if she dont like it, tough titties. never be ashamed of what you like.
duke
Posted by: E.Y.Davis
Re: Porn secrets - 07/06/09 11:44 PM
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In life you have two choices. Answer honestly or not at all. My GF knows exactly what I do, if she dont like it, tough titties. never be ashamed of what you like.
duke
I'll admit that I did anticipate some disagreement with my original post--I mean, asking people on a porn board if they agreed with being discreet about their porn habits is a bit like going to a crack house to try to sell memberships to your local gym.
Surprisingly, I guess I was naive enough that I really didn't anticipate people intentionally misrepresenting my position.
I do appreciate the feedback though, and (sometimes) I wish I could be so disaffected by common social norms as the folks who responded. Maybe, for me, it is just another version of "the grass is always greener", or maybe it is jealousy.
There are pro's and con's to each side of this argument, but one thing's for sure: in life there are always at least a thousand different options to any challenge, not just the two you listed.