Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas?

Posted by: Cum Stains

Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/24/06 04:01 PM

The holidays can be a lonely time of year, but having someone special in your life to ejaculate into can help make the holiday season more joyous and bright.

Who do you have to cum in this Christmas?
Posted by: Dick Dastardly

Re: Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/24/06 04:10 PM

I use my Fleshlight, I nicknamed it Cassandra.


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Who do you have to cum in this Christmas?

Posted by: Phlogiston

Re: Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/24/06 04:54 PM

Quote:


Who do you have to cum in this Christmas?




I prefer to cum ON women. Especially their faces.

Posted by: gia jordan

Re: Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/24/06 04:59 PM

Good boy, Phlog. That way you don't get them knocked up. That be said, I have no signifigant other this Christmas. Oh, well. It saves me an extraordinary amount on gifts.
Posted by: steveb

Re: Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/24/06 05:08 PM

Quote:

Good boy, Phlog. That way you don't get them knocked up. That be said, I have no signifigant other this Christmas. Oh, well. It saves me an extraordinary amount on gifts.



The queue starts after me fuckers.
Posted by: Phlogiston

Re: Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/24/06 05:24 PM

Quote:


The queue starts after me fuckers.




I'll abide, but since Gia and I have mutual friends, I think I have the inside track should you fail.

It might be time for me to lick my nicotine stained fingers and smooth down my hair with the saliva, spray my body with lysol, and see if she wants to join GGG in my anal laboratory.
Posted by: Dick Dastardly

Re: Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/24/06 05:25 PM

I will gladly forsake my pseudo-illuminate masturbatorial other half this year, and dump a load on your face if you'll buy me an extraordinary amount of gifts.

Quote:

Good boy, Phlog. That way you don't get them knocked up. That be said, I have no signifigant other this Christmas. Oh, well. It saves me an extraordinary amount on gifts.

Posted by: Da Burglar

Re: Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/24/06 05:46 PM

Quote:

The holidays can be a lonely time of year, but having someone special in your life to ejaculate into can help make the holiday season more joyous and bright.

Who do you have to cum in this Christmas?




I generally abstain from sex starting December 20 until New Year's eve...Last year I had a Fiasco of a New Years Eve Experience thanks to a slightly overpriced Escort back in Montreal who suffered a medical emergency (of sorts) at the time of our "date", back when I was still living in New England.

This New Year's Eve, it looks like I will be enjoying the company of "Carmella", a young, sharp, gorgeous enterprising young lady from San Jose who I first met back in July and who I have seen in increasing frequency since Early October. She has been especially important in my life the last couple months since I have been ill, and in addition to being an intimate companion, she has also been something of a business/personal assistant and intern (She has a B.A. in Marketing and a real estate license... If I were to combine the best external and intellectual qualities and characteristics of Holly Randall, Martha Stewart, Fairuza Balk, and Katie Couric ( along with a pinch of Mia Rose and a Tablespoon of Gia J), that would sum up Carmella and explain why, through this difficult last 2-1/2 months she has been a lifesaver and total joy.

BTW....she (and a few of hers/mine friends) lurks and enjoys reading XPT. If any of you turds ever hire an independent SF Bay Area Escort ($750/hr minimum and up...crack alley Ho's dont count, nor even Strip Club VIP Room $100 Blowjob Artists), ask her if she reads XPT; if we can get enough momentum and exposure, and if Jeffrey doesnt mind, we might start our own little network. Nothing like a safe, secure and viable Escort reference source which alleviates anxiety about things like performance, reputation, quality and whether or not you might be busted.

But dont be a schlep and ask for a discount, these girls are high quality and put up with a lot of assholes. The way to their heart and to get them to throw in "a little extra" is to be nice and generous (but not overly so) and do the little things. In my case, it's my Lamb Chops...Carmella thoroughly enjoys my Lamb Chops. :bananagarliclemonbuttermarinatebaabaablacksheep:


Posted by: MoronBoy

Re: Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/24/06 09:23 PM

'tis another lonely *sob* Christmas for *sob* this moron. *sob*
Posted by: Phlogiston

Re: Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/24/06 09:27 PM

Quote:

'tis another lonely *sob* Christmas for *sob* this moron. *sob*



Does your city not have Craig's List? Go to "erotic services" and look for a girl offering BBBJ and CIM. Problem solved. (FYI: BBBJ - "bareback blowjob" and CIM - "cum in mouth".)
Posted by: Richard Hungwell

Re: Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/24/06 10:25 PM

I use a Jerk-Sock.....!
Posted by: LouCypher

Re: Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/24/06 10:36 PM

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I use a Jerk-Sock.....!



LMAO...

Thats an XPT Christmas..
Posted by: NitneLiun

Re: Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/24/06 11:39 PM

Is a jerk-sock a sock made especially for jerking or will any old sock do? If it is the latter, I have some special plans for those Gold Toes my mom put under the tree for me.
Posted by: nago

Re: Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/25/06 12:27 AM

na, i have been celebate for almost ten years now
Posted by: MoronBoy

Re: Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/25/06 09:10 AM

Quote:


Does your city not have Craig's List? Go to "erotic services" and look for a girl offering BBBJ and CIM. Problem solved. (FYI: BBBJ - "bareback blowjob" and CIM - "cum in mouth".)



Hmmm, there are like two escorts listed in the area, but no explicit details like BBBJ or CIM listed. But alas I must say no to that idea. I may not have much luck(very, very little at all really) with the ladies, but I have one last shred of dignity knowing that I have never paid for sex(no offense DaBurg) and intend to keep it that way. C'mon, there's more to life than sex. Let's see there's .. umm... uhh...screw it, how much can I afford to part with?
Posted by: Da Burglar

Re: Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/25/06 10:11 AM

Quote:

Quote:


Does your city not have Craig's List? Go to "erotic services" and look for a girl offering BBBJ and CIM. Problem solved. (FYI: BBBJ - "bareback blowjob" and CIM - "cum in mouth".)



Hmmm, there are like two escorts listed in the area, but no explicit details like BBBJ or CIM listed. But alas I must say no to that idea. I may not have much luck(very, very little at all really) with the ladies, but I have one last shred of dignity knowing that I have never paid for sex(no offense DaBurg) and intend to keep it that way. C'mon, there's more to life than sex. Let's see there's .. umm... uhh...screw it, how much can I afford to part with?




Tis the season, allow Da Burg to lend a helping.....ummm, wait a sec....allow me to offer advice.

First off, where do you live and/or what is the nearest sizable population center or city?

Second, what can you seriously afford to part with in terms of funds? Is this a Risky Business-type situation where you need to go down to the bank and cash in some bonds, or call your broker/financial adviser to sell your shares in Coca Cola?

Third, what type of experience are you looking for?


I have always wanted to spend a Christmas dispensing sordid advice on the computer, I dont have to be anywhere until dinnertime this evening...
Posted by: windsock

Re: Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/25/06 10:50 AM

No. She's with family at the moment. I'll see her tomorrow at work. Maybe I'll cum allk up in her then.
Posted by: TunaCan

Re: Do you have somebody to cum in this Christmas? - 12/25/06 02:39 PM

Quote:

Good boy, Phlog. That way you don't get them knocked up. That be said, I have no signifigant other this Christmas. Oh, well. It saves me an extraordinary amount on gifts.



well Gia, I could fedex you a batch of my own brew in a spray bottle if it will spread some christmas cheer your way.