Taking my clothes off for money

Posted by: Ashley Blue

Taking my clothes off for money - 09/25/05 05:53 PM

I will be degrading myself next weekend by stripping at a club called Al's Cabaret in PA. All whores like me should occasionally find an alternative way to feel cheap and used sometimes. Nothing makes a "porn star" feel more humble than picking up soggy 1$ bills off of a fat man's lap, and then grinding on it, in hope of a 5$ tip.

Posted by: have2cit

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/25/05 06:12 PM

Good for you Ashley. It is important that you set an example for the rest of the whores. Just remember when your sitting on the 80 year old farmers lap and staring at the huge goiter on his neck, it’s all about the Benjamins or Lincolns as it were.
Posted by: smutspov

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/25/05 06:45 PM

I'll be there w/ 50 one dollar bills, some meth, a beer gut and you'll be on my dick until dawn or I go broke.
Posted by: drive

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/25/05 06:49 PM

If you could capture that honestly on film, Marilyn Chambers, Jenna Jameson, Nina Hartley, could all kneel down to kiss their new queen's hand. Or feet as would probably be done in porn.
Posted by: Monstar

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/25/05 07:18 PM

She's not fucking around.....

hey ash, could you do me a favor and leave a bomb set to go off a week after you've left?

naw, i jest. merely jest.

(maybe leave a thumbtack pointy side up on the feature's dressing room chair)
Posted by: jamesn

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/25/05 07:23 PM

monstar loves nikki benz?
Posted by: Cleetus VanDamme

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/25/05 07:24 PM

Come on Ashley just lick the tip
Posted by: zenman

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/25/05 08:45 PM

Quote:

I will be degrading myself next weekend by stripping at a club called Al's Cabaret in PA. All whores like me should occasionally find an alternative way to feel cheap and used sometimes. Nothing makes a "porn star" feel more humble than picking up soggy 1$ bills off of a fat man's lap, and then grinding on it, in hope of a 5$ tip.




I wish I lived in Cali...and that I had a fistful of singles to blow.
Posted by: Phlogiston

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/25/05 08:52 PM

Quote:


Nothing makes a "porn star" feel more humble than picking up soggy 1$ bills off of a fat man's lap, and then grinding on it, in hope of a 5$ tip.




What would you grind against for $10?
Posted by: jamesn

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/25/05 08:52 PM

zenno-CA...PA.....same deal, right?
Posted by: zenman

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/25/05 09:00 PM

Quote:

zenno-CA...PA.....same deal, right?


Oh right I didnt' even see it was in PA. Jesus isit really worth it flying to PA?
Posted by: Phlogiston

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/25/05 09:06 PM

Quote:

Quote:

zenno-CA...PA.....same deal, right?


Oh right I didnt' even see it was in PA. Jesus isit really worth it flying to PA?



Again, that depends on what she'd grind against for $10.
Posted by: Cerberus

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/25/05 09:10 PM

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

zenno-CA...PA.....same deal, right?


Oh right I didnt' even see it was in PA. Jesus isit really worth it flying to PA?




Again, that depends on what she'd grind against for $10.



Hell dude, I'll chip in another 10 spot just so you can double your offer and fun. But you got to post the results.


Posted by: Phlogiston

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/25/05 09:13 PM

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

zenno-CA...PA.....same deal, right?


Oh right I didnt' even see it was in PA. Jesus isit really worth it flying to PA?




Again, that depends on what she'd grind against for $10.



Hell dude, I'll chip in another 10 spot just so you can double your offer and fun. But you got to post the results.






I'm hoping she'll grind my cock against her tonsils...If she's game, pics will be posted.
Posted by: Da Burglar

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/25/05 10:23 PM

.....this is great news, Jamal just calculated on Yahoo Travel that if I got in the Burglar Mobile tomorrow, he could drive me to PA in 6 hours or less, depending on the number of Eagles fans on the border celebrating their team's latest win....does Ashley give a fuck????
Posted by: fuck off and die

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/25/05 10:57 PM

hey ashley:
have fun in PA that is my home state
bring lots of sweaters and hoodies for when u are not in the club.
pennsylvania is starting to get cold especially at night.
how long are you gonna be there?
Posted by: Evil Klown

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/26/05 10:30 AM

Quote:

.....this is great news, Jamal just calculated on Yahoo Travel that if I got in the Burglar Mobile tomorrow, he could drive me to PA in 6 hours or less, depending on the number of Eagles fans on the border celebrating their team's latest win....does Ashley give a fuck????




DB,

How much does the house Kneegrow run ya a month?I need a viable alternative cuz the current crop of wetbacks are startin to get uppity on me thinking they have Constitutional rights and shit
Posted by: Da Burglar

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/26/05 10:59 AM

Quote:

Quote:

.....this is great news, Jamal just calculated on Yahoo Travel that if I got in the Burglar Mobile tomorrow, he could drive me to PA in 6 hours or less, depending on the number of Eagles fans on the border celebrating their team's latest win....does Ashley give a fuck????




DB,

How much does the house Kneegrow run ya month?I need viable alternative cuz the current crop of wetbacks are startin to get uppity on me thinking they have Constitutional rights and shit




Shhhhh, the EYE ARE ESSS is everywhere.....
Posted by: Evil Klown

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/26/05 02:25 PM

Shhhhh, the EYE ARE ESSS is everywhere.....



Dooooooood, I don't give a rat's turd about the Goobermint. I want a life size lawn jockey, minus the bling
Posted by: Cleetus VanDamme

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/26/05 02:28 PM

You do know that if you own a lawn jockey you are required to paint it white

Hey burg- where is that money that Jamal owes me
Posted by: Evil Klown

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/26/05 03:11 PM

Quote:

You do know that if you own a lawn jockey you are required to paint it white

Hey burg- where is that money that Jamal owes me



Cleetus,

Now do you see how residing in Yankee land has fogged your outlook?
Posted by: cumalloverher

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/26/05 04:45 PM

If I come there will I be able to see you naked up close and for real? If so, that is marvelous. I would love a lap dance. Before you sit down I will do the customary alingning of my cock through my pocket so's it's parallel with your beautiful ass crack. Then as you begin grinding I will get out my tiny, tiny tv what modern technology makes possible and watch your '7 the Hard Way' scene and remark (aloud probably) "Wow! The girl on the Tv gettin' gangbanged real good is the same one what's rubbin' her butt on my crotch fer real ri-ight now!" It will be an astonishing and horrrible bit of uncanny surrealisticism.
Posted by: redbeard

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/26/05 04:48 PM

Is she really going to be doing lap dances? usually the feature dancers don't do that.
Posted by: El Kabong

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/26/05 05:55 PM

Hey Ashley,
If you really want to dance at some kind of out of the way place you can go to this club... www.shakersneb.com
Posted by: Da Burglar

Brilliant! Fucking Brilliant post!!! Insight x 10 - 09/26/05 07:42 PM

Quote:

If I come there will I be able to see you naked up close and for real? If so, that is marvelous. I would love a lap dance. Before you sit down I will do the customary alingning of my cock through my pocket so's it's parallel with your beautiful ass crack. Then as you begin grinding I will get out my tiny, tiny tv what modern technology makes possible and watch your '7 the Hard Way' scene and remark (aloud probably) "Wow! The girl on the Tv gettin' gangbanged real good is the same one what's rubbin' her butt on my crotch fer real ri-ight now!" It will be an astonishing and horrrible bit of uncanny surrealisticism.



Holy shit this is a CLASSIC post....I cant stop laughing, I really fucking can't.....

That 'aligning of the cock' with her ass crack observation is the kind of detail we need more in the posts here at XPT. Afterall, this is a porn board, and today's porn gets to the level of detail that we can actually see shit like a guy's scrotum spasming as he pumps jizz into a chicks rectum, followed by her eating the jizz with the camera so close we can almost see the sperm swimming frantically in no particular direction, knowing they are about to die....

Yes, this post is absolute brilliance....plus, it's a painful bitch of an experience if a chick sits on you dick for a lap dance and she hits it dead on perpendicular, driving your zipper into your pisshole and the length of the shaft into your bladder.... ......then
Posted by: Evil Klown

Re: Brilliant! Fucking Brilliant post!!! Insight - 09/26/05 09:15 PM

DB,

Ok, I uncovered the deal regarding Jamal...

http://www.rent-a-negro.com/index.htm
Posted by: Da Burglar

Re: Brilliant! Fucking Brilliant post!!! Insight - 09/26/05 09:41 PM

Quote:

DB,

Ok, I uncovered the deal regarding Jamal...

http://www.rent-a-negro.com/index.htm




Nah, no rent a negro for this crippled bourgeoise cracka'....Jamal is basically fulfilling a debt his grandfather had with Grandpa Da Burglar. See, Grandpa DB and Jamals GP were in Korea together during the war, circa 1952...one night they both went to a Korean Whorehouse in Pusan, and Jamal's Grandpappy (Jerome) impaled a 4'11" Korean cutie with his 11-1/2 inch Big Black Dick. The young little korean whore died, and Jerome would have been in deep shit with the UN JAG, had not Grandpa DB helped him dispose of the body in a local Korean Butcher Shop/Pet Store serving as a front for the CIA (grandpa DB was also a spook.) So to repay the debt, Jerome offered my grandpa anything...so Grandpa DB (also clairvoyant) said..."Boy, I mean Jerome, 20 years from now I will have a grandson named Da Burglar III, and he will be a crippled fucker with an attitude...I want your grandson who will be named Jamal to push his smart w/chair bound ass around, drive him wherever the fuck he wants to go, and get him hookers twice weekly." Thus it went down thru the years.....Got that?
Posted by: 2cums

Re: Taking my clothes off for money - 09/28/05 03:21 PM

Ashley, theres a reason why the bills get soggy